Bully at work.....

speed dawg

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Long story short, a year ago I took a promotion with my company into a management position, and am helping start up an office at a new location. My company bought out a struggling company (due to the economy) and now part of my job is to start my own client base while at the same time acclimating the new office employees to our company's culture. As you can imagine, half the office is on board, the other half is not. The other half falls victim to the head of the office, the former owner, and have adopted a sort of welfare position - that they are just riding out the current situation until the economy picks back up. Hard for me to explain this on a message board.

The problem is, the former head the office. A real two faced prick. Runs his mouth recklessly, no regard for others feelings. And he's a slick talker. He's got control issues, wants credit for everything. He really turns on the charm when the company big wigs come to town, while the day before, he was talking **** about them. Just a drama queen all around. Just walks around the office all day trying to stir up dumb crap like a woman.

Well, we've been butting heads as expected. He doesn't want to do the things necessary to expand the office - he's happy the way it is (not my company's plan - they want to grow). He's done a good job coming up with excuses why we can't as well, like I said, he's a slick talker. He's higher than me in the heirarchy per se, but I'm very well thought of inside the company. While he technically has the rank, rumors have been spreading about this guy. If it's not his idea, it's a bad idea. You know what I mean? He talks personal **** to the people in the office he feels threatened by, a real passive aggressive ****head if you get my drift. He's driving wedges between people and making things extremely difficult and discouraging.

Basically, my company may would have been better to just send me alone down here and maybe hire one or two of this office's employees instead of buying the whole office.

Anyone have any experience is combating this sort of thing, and winning? Should I notify upper management? If you're unclear on any details, just ask and I'd be glad to expound. It's the counterproductive attitude, trying to one up me on everything, that's really the issue. He's 10 years older than me, should be a mentor, but instead acts like a child, trying to sabotage and play games.
 

KarmaSutra

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Not that I would know from personal experience, Visine in someone's drink will cause the absolute worst case of diarrhea, uncontrollable, spraying diarrhea.

The subsequent ramifications are far more dangerous: A ruined reputation, chronically being the "butt" of everyone's jokes and extreme ridicule, and they leave a permanent stain on the carpet all the way through the Safety Department on their ass-clenched scuttle to the sh!tter.

A drop or two is nice, but the whole bottle is much more fun. I'm sure this douche drinks water out of a bottle or a cup of coffee?

Best thing is it's untraceable. Again, not that I would know...
 

backbreaker

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You have to understand the pricks point of view. You would talk **** too if some big company came in and started telling you what to do and when to do it when you've been running **** forever ("even though he ran it in the ground, you will never convince him of that).

The key to diffusing any situation is understanding the other party. If you can think like the other party you can come up with a strategy to get out the situation.

Honeslty, i'd beriend the guy. I'd talk **** about my company with the guy. You have to take a step back and keep in mind what your objective here is. It's not to win this guy over or to get rid of him. The primary objective here seems to be to get all the new employees accustomed to how you guys roll. But you have a problem... this guy, the prick, is more influential to them then you will ever be. He managed them, and they still look up to him. The only way they are going to respect you and to fall in line, is if the prick respects you.

T/he guy is not personally mad at you, he's more mad at the situation. Put it in women's terms. Say you are married to this broad, and you are married for 5 years, and you have 2 kids. You are pulling home 100k a year, you got good credit, **** is going great. You start hitting the bottle a little bit too hard and a little bit too often, and you like to play the ponies as well, howsoever you aren't good at it lol. IN 2 years, you are now broke, bankrupt and your wife has left you and taken the kids. 8 months later, you find out from one of your kids, that your ex wife, is now banging a COO of some new company that is about to go public in a year. Guy has money out the ass,and from all accounts, besidees the fact that he is an AFC chump that is banging a woman with 2 kids lol, the guy seems to have his head on straight.

Now, one of your kids likes the idea of 2 daddies. However the older of the kids, doesn't like it at all and wants you back. You have a house divided. The COO dude, is very nice to you when you have to deal with him but calls you a prick behind your back, becuase well, you are being quite prickish to be honest. YOu are scorn.

but, if you step back, you realize you aren't so much mad at him, because he's done nothing wrong, you are more mad at yourself for what you precieve as being a **** up. You ****ed your marriage up and are hurt. Deep down you know it's your fault.

That prick of a guy, down economy or not, they were once a healthy company, and later, under his leadership, they were not a healthy company and they had to sale. He feels that.

I'm not here to give you an answer, but that's just a different way to look at it. How would you treat the drunk, degenerate gambling ex husband who keeps talking **** about the COO when the COO is doing nothing but trying to take care of the family when you couldn't?
 

speed dawg

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That's pretty solid stuff backbreaker. I'm really doing my best to do the "keep your friends close and enemies closer" thing. God knows I am. It's really tough not to go off on the guy - he's one **** talking SOB for sure.

This.....

Honeslty, i'd beriend the guy. I'd talk **** about my company with the guy. You have to take a step back and keep in mind what your objective here is. It's not to win this guy over or to get rid of him. The primary objective here seems to be to get all the new employees accustomed to how you guys roll. But you have a problem... this guy, the prick, is more influential to them then you will ever be. He managed them, and they still look up to him. The only way they are going to respect you and to fall in line, is if the prick respects you.
....makes me think you are in the office with me. It's spot on. And that's the ongoing battle - respect. The way the guy talks sometimes, you'd think he doesn't respect me at all (or anybody else, he's talked **** to me about everybody in the office at some point). But I almost feel as if he's threatened by me and doing everything in his power to keep me 'underneath' him. He cannot stand for me to be commended without his involvement. Drives him crazy. So maybe that's a form of respect and a showing of his own self confidence issue.

Just counterproductive to all involved. One of my allies in this fight said the game was the same way towards him, AND the guy's former partner. Anyone perceived as threatening, he tries to degrade until finally they leave or whatever. He employes negative tactics, instead of encouragement. Very jealous.

Not me. This is MY company. I WILL win this battle. How and when, is the key. Maybe winning this battle is actually disarming him and getting him on the same page as me.
 

theunflushables

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Backbreaker's advice is good, however, DO NOT talk sh1t about your company.

If he sees you as a threat, he will take anything and everything you said to your superiors and you could find yourself out of a job.

I've worked with people like this before, they will crush anyone they can on a whim.

Befriend him, flatter him, be his protegee, and when the time is right, get him ousted.
 

backbreaker

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talk **** was too strong a word maybe lol.

you know how if one of your friends comes up to you and starts talking **** about one of your other friends, for whatever reason, you really aren't hella close with either of them. you aren't going to defend the guy, but you aren't going to tell him to stop either. we've all been there.

Not me. This is MY company. I WILL win this battle. How and when, is the key. Maybe winning this battle is actually disarming him and getting him on the same page as me.
That's what you are missing. you don't WANT to win the battle. Play the tape out. What if you got rid of the guy... if you think everyone else is just going to magically fall in line, you are sadly mistaken. what's going to happen is that you are going to make the people who resented you becuase you are taking over, they are now going to resent you for "getting rid" of their boss, and you are going to also have some defectors.

No, the guy has to be in the picture. He H:AS to be in the picture.

You want to know how to handle it? Go out of your way to priase the guy. seriously. get the man a raise if possible. make it known that he is doing an outstanding job. Even in the face of hiim talking **** about everyone, lmake sure you scratch his back as hard as the mother****er can be scratched. To most people, this seems counterprodutive. "he's talking **** about me, he's gots to go" or "i'm going to win, this is war".. no... Make sure, even if it's not true, that everyone at corporate knows he is doing an outstanding job. You dont' even have to broadcast it to him. Campaign for the guy. Get the guy promoted.

There is no lose in this situation. One, if he has any shared of dignity, he's going to realize you aren't a bad guy. But let's assume, he doesn't have a shread of dignity, its' not possible for him to get praised / promoted/whatever it is you guys do over there, while telling everyone else that this company you are working for is a price of ****. Hypothetically, let's assume he did try to talk **** about the company while he's getting promoted, then that will then bring to mind, doubts in the people who were listening to him int he first place as being hypocritical.


The key to keeping everyone happy, is to keep him happy. Stop thinking about the game in senses of who you doa nd do not like and start thinking in the sense of what this person can and cannot do for you. This person is the key to half your new company. You want to make him as happy as ****ing possible.


Even if it means you getting **** on for a while just dealwithit.jpeg, put on your big boy underwear for a minute and look at the big picture. There is nothing he can say that is going to make you want to quit and if it is yoiu are a punk anyway, and after a while you will soften him up.

I remember my first company, my bueinss partner and I could ****ing not stand each other. It is not possible to not like someone as much as we did not like each other. We hated each other, and I mean that. that momma's boy gay mother****er lol. But you know what, we were both smart enough to realize, we didn't have to like each other to know we needed each other. he needed me and I needed him. That was something we just knew. When we went on out of town trips we could not even stay in the same room. When we had our office, my office room and his were on the polar opposite side of the building. I might have spoken to him 2-3 minutes a day by the end of it, and for like 10 mintues on sunday, as little as I could. WE had NO outside communcation, when I left work dude you better be dying if you were going to call me, I hated him, he hated me. But, he knew how I ticked, and I knew how he ticked. YOu dudes that think I work too hard would think this dude is ****ing insane, he might go home 2 or 3 nights a week. He lived at work basically. He however, knew I had a lie outside of work and to get the best work out of me, he needed to let me do what I do, so he didn't raise a fuss when I would leave work at noon on friday and not call until sunday. I knew, that becuase he worked so hard, he had to have his outlets, so when he wanted to date his secretary, i didn't ever bring it up. man's got needs. I knew he was going to cake to her, and I knew he was going to butcher it, and I knew it was going to cause probelms, but not as much problems, had I not let him date her or try to (and it played out exactly like I said.. i never told this story here, this **** takes the cake what he did with her how much he spent and the lengths he went, to not get any nookie) IN fact, I think it was the fact, that we really, did not like each other, is what made our business work. too many peole start businesses with their best friends. He knew I was going to tell him exactly what I thought, and he was going to tell me exactly what he thought. Hell one day I was so pissed I damn near went in his office with a metal rod, for calling my GF a ***** at the time. That was the day before I left the company. That's when I knew it was time to go lol.
 

Alle_Gory

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KarmaSutra said:
Not that I would know from personal experience, Visine in someone's drink will cause the absolute worst case of diarrhea, uncontrollable, spraying diarrhea.
That only happens in the movies. In reality, Visine is toxic when ingested orally and will send the guy to the hospital or kill him.

http://www.snopes.com/medical/myths/visine.asp

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Visine said:
Visine prank myth

A common urban legend is that a few drops of Visine in an unsuspecting victim's drink will cause a harmless bout of diarrhea. This will not produce diarrhea, but oral administration of Visine can induce dangerous side effects related to Visine's ingredient tetrahydrozoline hydrochloride such as:

Dangerously low body temperature (hypothermia)
Blurred vision
Nausea and vomiting
Difficulty in breathing or even a complete halt in breathing
Elevating (hypertension) then dropping (hypotension) blood pressure
Possible coma
Seizures and tremors

Pfizer (the manufacturer of Visine) recommends that anyone ingesting Visine get medical attention or contact a poison control center immediately.[2]
If you want to kill the guy and go to prison, put Visine in his drink.
 

Julian

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Dont take any sh1t from this clown. Remain neutral, calm an collected. Stay alpha. Focus on the mission at hand and put your personal feelings aside. This is business. No point in getting butthurt over this type of situation. It should roll off your back like its nothing. As long as you are doing your job to the best of your ability thats all that fkin matters. Enough with the talking and the politics an all that extra useless stuff...just take action an get done what needs to be get done, collect that paycheck and dont think about it when you are outside of work.
 

Ease

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If he is making bad decisions and you think you can do better then you need to leak this onto your superiors whenever you can.

If you disagree with him make it known. But to his face, befriend him.
 
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