Champboy said:
I've got the point of all of you, I accept it's the time to move on. But the thing is like I'm in NC with her right now, aren't there any chances for the reverse of roles and she started thinking about me in the way she used to, as i've accepted to move on, I'll be no longer dependant on her, will no longer need her, she know i will move on soon -- anyone would, time heals every wound. So isn't there a chance that after some times, like is most of eBook's i heard people's ex's coming back a month later or so and realizing their worth. I used to give her whatever she asked for, i know that's a mistake, i did a lot for her and even risked my own life for her once (Know it's a mistake) but it may also work in the current situation as if i'm no longer with her, she realize what she lost. The case here isn't that she's into another guy or have found any new boy -- it's not the case. She is just bored. I know the situation is worst, but aren't breakup's worst ? A break-up, in every condition is worst as a girl only will want to breakup as a result of loss of interest, other wise she will compromise everything to stay with the guy. Many people got their ex's back by applying the no contact thing, at first the girl will remember all recent "negative" thoughts, but within some time, those "negative" thoughts will be replaced by old good memories from her side. As many experts advised in ebook's i've read. Now the thing left is even if I'm succesful at getting her back, it will all happen once again, but i've learnt from my mistakes of being her "puppy dog" and ready to cover it up just if i get a second chance.
What do you guys say?
You can't change and act like a man with her. You will try at first and your nature will rise to the top and sink it again. The challenge here is that you two have such a strongly ingrained dynamic that is almost impossible to overcome.
The only chance of overcoming it would be to go NC for a full 6 months and then re-evaluate. Only then will you be a different person.
You need to go through this pain in order to change into a man who can hold the frame in a relationship. Take the pain now, and read up here. Read the DJ Bible and the Book of Pook. These studies will contribute toward easing your pain and making a strong man out of you.
You're probably a romantic at heart and many of us here are former romantics. All that stuff comes straight from Hollywood and has little to do with reality. WOmen are nothing like what we grow up thinking they are. They crave to be led and dominated INDIRECTLY. They need rules, guidelines and correction usually indirectly. They must be rewarded/punished with attention or lack thereof.
You don't know it yet but you're in a good place in life because you are now forced to change for the better and this will serve you forever. By coming to this site your eyes will now be opened to reality. Much of knowledge of reality causes pain of its own accord, because illusion comforts us on some levels. The lot of man is to deal with pain. Women live in a world of Rainbows and Unicorns. Men cannot.
Once a man learns what we know here, he cannot go back. There is no exit door. But aside from the uncomfortable revelation of the uglier side of women, you will be equipped to deal with them and to relegate them to the proper heierarchy in your life. You will start putting yourself first, and this is how it should be. Every woman instinctively wants (needs) a man who puts himself first, but they are incapable of acknowledging this consciously.
You are going to learn to influence women based upon your own frame, not from your current reactive frame. You have a lot of work ahead of you. Use it to move ahead and away from this girl and into manhood.
I promise you, as the light intensifies, you will find that she wasn't as perfect as you thought she was and you will find that you are better than you think you are. You need to unlearn the lies you've been taught, and you came to the right place to do so.
Man climbs to ever increasing heights on rungs of pain. It is his lot. You are about to take the hammer to yourself to forge a better man. The pain is very real, but the reward is moving through the world with authority.
