Broke up w/ Girlfriend: Good Girls Do Cheat Part III

[es_mer8]

If anyone pays attention to what I've said, I said that today I was going to break up with my gf.

The Past

We have been seeing eachother for almost seven weeks. Not all too long. However a couple weeks into the relationship, I told her that I would not be seeing her anymore when I go to college because I'm not going to be in a long distance relationship for someone as new as her. At first she thought I was feeding her a line of BS. However I kept telling her that. Oh well. So anyway, fast forward to tonight. I was going to go to her house and break up with her. Her parents were doing some errands and I was going to take her to dinner (something I never have done before with this girl) but since nobody was home, it was time to tell her I was leaving her.

The Present

As soon as her parents left, she was really quiet. I tried to get her to talk but she is quiet and seemed preoccupied.

"Listen I have something to say." I told her.

She started to tear up. "What's the matter?" I said.

"I've wanted to tell you this but I've been seeing this guy for the past couple weeks or so."

I wasn't too mad. I was getting a little action on the side as well.

"How...why?"

She said ever since she started in preparation of her college volleyball practices (I guess they had preparation meetings or something and equipment checkout), she has been seeing this college guy. She told me he was 20. She was 18. So I guess in her mind this made it justified? I didn't know why she threw that in there.

"Have you had sex with him?"

"Yes, a few times."

"A few times today or a few times altogether?"

She started to sob. She tried to cry on my shoulder but I coldly moved back.

"I...I...I just..."

She then just started crying. I didn't care; I went into her kitchen and fixed me a sandwich. By the time I got back, she seemed to stop crying.

"God I'm such a wh0re" she told me as I came in.

Ignoring what she said, I told her that I came to tell her we were through because of me leaving.

"So...so you're serious?"

"Yes. I've told you this around the same time you started getting d1ck from this dude."

After that, she seemed to calm down. Again, I guess it was justified that she could cheat because I was leaving. After a little bit of chit chat, we gave eachother our college e-mail addresses and she told me to stay in touch with her. Yeah right. In fact, as soon as I walked out of her house, I crumpled it up and chucked it onto her lawn.

So free...yet, so burned.

The Future

If the first two threads meant anything, its that all girls cheat or at least have it in them. This girl cheated on me in about three or four weeks into the relationship. I thought that she was a good girl because unlike the other three that succumbed easily, she was the first girl I considered a true challenge.

One thing I've learned now from personal experience is that you should never walk in expecting complete loyalty. If you do, you are dumb. I got some action on the side. Yes, that was wrong. However it was just once in a great while. She I guess was getting her f*ck on with this guy for a few weeks after I hit it (usually in the mornings)

Another lesson learned.

 

[nan3109]

Good Point.

I tend to think justification for a even "possible" cheating girlfriend is to get your mack on with the ladies.

 

[es_mer8]

The way I see it is that I think the first six months is where you aren't exclusive. However if she is your main girl and you are hers, you can find out if its worth pursuing to the next level, which is exclusitivity. In this time, you cut off all relations and then you move on. There was this saying.

"God doesn't shut a door without opening a window."

The key here is in case you do get a shut door (rejection from the main girl), there are plenty of windows (side action girls) to feel good about. I will never be exclusive within two months of the relationship starting.

 

[BobbDobbs]

Huh? Was she betrothed? Did you give her an engagement ring?

Lacking that, what was she "cheating" against?

 

[Giovanni Casanova]

Reality check...

Basically we have a girl who

• You told you were going to break up with soon
• you were only seeing for a few weeks

And then there's you, who

• Openly plans to dump her in the very near future
• Is getting "a little action on the side"

Now, typically if a girl is in a committed relationship but decides she wants to step outside of that relationship and "get a little action" somewhere else, she should break off the relationship first. However, in this case, it doesn't appear that there was much of a relationship to break off, and certainly not a committed one.

If you think that this is cheating, no wonder you think that all girls cheat.

 

[RazzleDazzle]

He is saying that all girls have the possibility of cheating. Some more than others but every girl will cheat under certain circumstances whatever they maybe.

But in truth is sounds like this particular girl was just a f*ck buddy not a true girlfriend. So how she cheated, i just don't know.

 

[Giovanni Casanova]

Originally posted by RazzleDazzle
Some more than others but every girl will cheat under certain circumstances whatever they maybe.

Since I (and others) already went on about this in another thread, I will keep this to a very simple, concise "ABSOLUTELY NOT TRUE."

But in truth is sounds like this particular girl was just a f*ck buddy not a true girlfriend. So how she cheated, i just don't know.

Exactly.

 

[Krassus]

Originally posted by Giovanni Casanova
Reality check...

Basically we have a girl who

• You told you were going to break up with soon
• you were only seeing for a few weeks

And then there's you, who

• Openly plans to dump her in the very near future
• Is getting "a little action on the side"

Now, typically if a girl is in a committed relationship but decides she wants to step outside of that relationship and "get a little action" somewhere else, she should break off the relationship first. However, in this case, it doesn't appear that there was much of a relationship to break off, and certainly not a committed one.

If you think that this is cheating, no wonder you think that all girls cheat.

Yeah i gotta agree with this. It's a classic case of the pot calling the kettle black.

 

[Wild at heart]

Same here.

Why do you care so much that you got burned?

In my opninion, it seems that you're pissed off that she beat you to the punch, and if thats the case, it wont be terribly hard to get over.

However if your pissed off about anything else (ie. trust issues etc), remember its a 2 way street.

 

[oreo_renegade]

Good Girls DO cheat...get over it.

enough already with the "good girls do cheat" threads.
yes they cheat...there isnt a "good" girl out there.

 

[sAxyguy83]

I think an excellent point keeps getting made but not noticed - in fact, it could very well be the central idea of these threads. To me, it seems that the point of these threads is that you shouldn't trust the girl until she EARNS your trust. I'd personally advise against setting arbitrary points in time for going from an open relationship to an exclusive one - follow your gut and your heart. If you really feel like you want to be exclusive with this girl, and that you can trust her to be exclusive as well, then take the relationship exclusive. If that time you set hasn't come yet, then think about it a little more. Don't feel pressured to take the relationship exclusive if you pass that time limit.

Now it's probably fairly safe to say that, in the most extreme of circumstances, even the best most faithful girls in the world will cheat on you. However, if the relationship is healthy and you're treating her well, if she cheats then I'd say that you CAN classify the girl as "bad" - after all, you're keeping up your end of the relationship, but she isn't reciprocating. Spread the word that she's that kind of girl, so she'll get stuck with lousy guys, like that kind of slut deserves.

 

[Dell SkyCat]

es_mer8

Still doesn't explain WHY she began to 'tear up'. To me, The point isn't if women cheat or not, what i've gained from reading these sequel threads is some women DO because they already KNOW and are AWARE of thier own future with YOU. And yes! I know there are relationships where there IS a productive future in the relationship yet a woman will still cheat. Whoever said women are dumb? My first initial thought was she cried because what she did was considered cheating and felt guilty. But then again... maybe she just finished watching 'The little mermaid'

 

[KiInCollege]

Tears On Demand, my friend. Tears On Demand... Don't let a woman's waterworks influence decisions.

Some people here have said this is not cheating. They say the relationship was young and since he said it would be over soon he should not be surprised. I agree with the point made that they were not exclusive so it's technically not cheating. However, she deceived him. Granted, he did the same, but here lies the profoundness:

The point the poster made is that women are sexual creatures just like us, and it is for the above reasons that men should never place women on a pedestal. Isn't that the fundamental purpose of these "Good Girl's Cheat Too" posts? To inform men not to expect innocence of a higher degree from women?

Let's accept es_mer8's added information to the topic with appreciation instead of enforcing technicalities.

 

[es_mer8]

Whether or not this is considered cheating is borderline. We never said we were exclusive from the start but then again, we never established that we can see other people in the meantime. However the fact that she was crying proved her guilt or she wanted to project guilt to make me feel sorry for her.

As for me, emotionally I feel like how I did before I went to her house. I am unphased. In a way, she was like a f*ckbuddy.

Why do you care so much that you got burned?

Who said I felt burned? I honestly did not care. Like I said, I was going to break it off with her so this was almost a mutual breakup. We both are moving on to bigger and better things, different from eachother. Not as good as the one on Seinfeld but still, it was the most mutual breakup I've had so far.

To me, it seems that the point of these threads is that you shouldn't trust the girl until she EARNS your trust

Very much true. Even though I knew and she should have known it wasn't going to last long, the fact that she teared up made me think that she thought she did something wrong in the scheme of the relationship (she just turned it on so she can have her cake and eat it too)

The next relationship, which will happen at college, will probably have the intentions of lasting more than just 2 months unless we start going out in March 2004. I don't expect a college girl to stay cheat-free and I hope she feels the same way. I think from the start of the next relationship, I should tell her point blank that we should not be restricted to eachother until we are sure we can go to the next step. So that way we still see eachother and not get scared that the other will find out we've been getting some on the side. Then if we feel that the relationship is really developing, we will be exclusive. However I don't expect this to happen until we've been going out for at least two months.

Let's accept es_mer8's added information to the topic with appreciation instead of enforcing technicalities.

Yeah. The purpose of my post is not to lambast this chick. The purpose is to show that she did deceive me or else she would have not felt the need to cry (I imagine they were fake tears; I can do that sh1t too if I really wanted to) If she told me straight faced that she was seeing another guy, I would tell her that I was going to leave her because I'm going to college. Then we could have went to dinner and maybe even a good bye f*ck to finish it. No, she attempted the "Sorry cumslut" routine.