Broke up - Now Feel Terrible

[Social_disturbance]

I have been doing the dating thing for quite a while, dating a lot of different girls and found one that I really liked a lot. She is older than me, has her own place, and has her career on track. We've been together for almost two months now and I would go between staying at my place and staying at hers. Sex was great. Last night we watched some movies at her place and went to sleep as usual. In the morning after we got up she told me that she wasn't sure about us. She said that she usually likes to be around people who are really outgoing and that im not, and that she wants some time away. I really don't want to come off as whiney or b1tchy, but I really do feel fvcking crushed. I feel at a loss. I would appreciate any advice from any of you that have gone through this. Thanks.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

What she said could be a test to see how you react. Or she is just being up-front with you. Either way... Take some time off of her. Wait for her to call you and start targeting other women in the process.

 

[Mr. Wolf]

She said that she usually likes to be around people who are really outgoing and that im not, and that she wants some time away.

Meaning: I'm not ready for serious relationship right now, and it looks like this is where it is going with us. So, I'll just tell him that it is his fault and that he is not outgoing, and I like outgoing guys, it is his fault. That way, I won't come across as a slvt for dumping this guy because I like to sleep around.


IMO there really is nothing to take and learn from your experience. Because I don't believe in LTR and girlfriends. What happened to you is just another prove toward my believe.


Nothing you can do now, she does not want to be with you. Forget her, and see other people. That girl is not ready for LTR, she's also a slvt. She bruised your ego to protect herself. What a b!tch.

 

[DJ1234]

She said that she usually likes to be around people who are really outgoing and that im not, and that she wants some time away.

why did she say this or why do you think she said this? Are you an introvert?
I mean just the way she dumped you, although she might just be older, she was very honest and blunt. Didn't seem like she has any consideriation for your feelings or felt bad that she was going to hurt you, it also seemed like a stupid reason to break up with you, either way you should def. move on and do NOT think she will come back as it looks like she wouldn't even consider coming back to you after what she said...

 

[EastWind]

Smile, say "I understand. It can be distressing when you're not sure about something. Let's spend some time apart."

Get up, dressed, kiss her goodbye and leave. Fade into the shadows, shift your focus onto another girl. See what happens.

 

[aliasguy]

I think that this was a "good" breakup. Many of us complain when a chick flakes or breaks up (or, rather DOESN'T break up, but sorta disappears) and we are left wondering WTF?

She at least said, 'hey it's over; here's why....' (whether her reason is TRUE or not is another matter.) So, now the OP can just move on. He doesn't have to slog through the usual period of the symptoms of declining interest, and the confusion that that stuff almost always brings us.


The best breakup I ever had was this 29yo sweetie who was newly divorced. (I know, DBTRG....) Anyway, she had had a stepdaughter. And she never wanted to go through that stuff again. And I have a couple of kids. So, when she thought we might actually be going somewhere (we really weren't, though) she decided to end it, so she wouldn't get all attached. And she told me as much. It was really pretty cool. I liked her. Nice times all around; nobody hurt, confused or pissed.

(Even if her reasons were bullsh*t ---- I think not, but...----- then it was still a pretty cool breakup. Certainly no "games." Worst it could have been was a lie about the reason. Wish more women were like her.)

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Smile, say "I understand. It can be distressing when you're not sure about something. Let's spend some time apart."

Get up, dressed, kiss her goodbye and leave. Fade into the shadows, shift your focus onto another girl. See what happens.

I'll add that the he should spend more time qualifying the next one beyond just who she is as an individual (own place, life in check, etc.). All that if well and fine but the problem which was missed was compatibility, and this goes well beyond just getting along. She figured out that she wasn't compatible with his lifestyle, now he needs to learn how to tell when he's qualifying in the future.

 

[ducaro]

Realistically speaking, she is older and most women will not be able to respect a younger man completely. Don't ask why, its just like that...

The truth is she wants to 'kick start' her life and she may be looking for the guy to 'settle down' with. and to start, nearly all women want their guy to be older to them... that's just the way it is..

So I know how you feel right now.. like you had a nice fancy toy and now its been taken away...

so really you've had your straberry and cream and now its over... move on.. next bowl!

the more you cling, the more she'll fling!

 

[L B]

When I was 21, I dated a 28 year old. She was great. Looking back, I would say that she was one of the best that I have ever dated. She did not know how old I was until after several dates. We had so much fun, and everything was going so well. After a couple of months, things started to get serious and she left. We were both mature enough to talk about what happened afterwards. When things started to get serious, she felt that our age differences made it impossible for us to be in a serious relationship. She was getting close to an age where she wanted to start a family. I am no where near ready to settle down. At 21, I have a lot more exploring to do. So we both ended it on good terms. Timing was bad, nothing I could do about it.

If you can, talk to her and if she feels the need to end the relationship, end it on good terms and move on. There is no use holding on to a relationship where one side has given up. It might hurt for some time. Learn and move on.