Broke up, now ex calls affter a month...

[donutclub]

Broke up with ex 3 days before NYE because she doesn't want to live in the city we are living in for the rest of her life. She said before hanging up that she'd call me in a couple of weeks and I told her no please don't call me when you get lonely to hang out or entertain you. Then she writes me and email basically acting all confident and **** and her last line was I know I said I'd call you but I think you should call me when you feel ready. Well it was last nite, a month later, I got a call... She said " Hey I was cleaning out my drawer and found your passport tonite, and I think with should probably talk sometime and maintain some kind of friendship. Anyways I'll be up for awhile doing laundry so give me a call or when you get a chance."

There is 2 things I think I can do here:

Ignore her... which will prob make her think I'm pissed and make her feel like she won.

Or call her and tell her I was looking for that passport and ask her if she could mail it to me next week or sometime and that we'll talk later cus I'm busy now... Keep the call under 5 minutes

Or any other suggestions?

She's always into games and she always tried to control me. We planned to go on an out of town trip this weekend back in Nov. but she is going with her friend now. Who knows what she wants... we were good friends before we were together for ayear and she was the one who always pursued me when I blew her off numerous times. I miss her but I want to show her that I dont have time for her stupid games and she isnt going to walk all over me. Since we've broke up I've been to the gym everyday and my business has skyrocketed but I feel like I shouldnt let her know any of this...

the club

 

[E-Z Rider]

Well I know it seems counter-intuitive, but the answer here is really simple.

2 things you need to decide:

1) What do you want with this girl? Would you entertain the idea of getting back together (if that were to happen)? Would you like to be friends with her? Fvck buddies? Or nothing- are you so sick of her that you really just want to get on with your life completely and forget about her?

2) Do you really want your passport?



Know that she's very likely to do some psychotic sh!t if you start talking to her again (it's only been a month, and the break up is just now 'hitting' her...it hit you a month ago and now you're over it. She senses this and wants to try to make you feel it again).

If you truly feel like you're better off without her in your life (which is often the case), then don't call her back. Unless you need your passport, in which case do the five minute call thing and have her mail it to you.

If you do want to start talking to her again, then still do the five minute call, then let her progress it from there. Give her too much attention now and she'll really run away.

 

[NewMan]

If you want your passport back, email her your address, and tell her that you'd be greatful if she'd send it to you.

Don't call her.

The worse thing you can do is call her. Your nonchalent about the whole thing - you couldn't care less what happens - so you shoot her an email with your address (just in case she's fogot it).

If you don't need your passport - don't bother calling.

She calling you because she's missing you - and wants to hear your voice. Don't be that easy - make her work for it - and when you do talk to her (she will call back) - be vague, busy - and have lot's going on.

 

[Cremasta]

Originally posted by donutclub
I miss her but I want to show her that I dont have time for her stupid games and she isnt going to walk all over me.

You are aware of her games and manipulation, so you should be well armed to not get taken for a ride. You can only be played if you let her do it to you.

Go over there, be confident, flirt with her, do NOT let her get the upper hand, make her cook you dinner, get a shag if you can and get your passport while she is post-coitally snoozing and get the hell out.

The trick is to be able to do this without messing with your head. If you can't, then ask her to mail your passport to you. If you can, try to turn her into a fbuddy.