Broke NC with Stripper

[Serg897]

I dont think bigneil really did anything wrong here. Yes its obvious that he likes the girl - so what. Sometimes after going NC for a while its fine to test the waters and see where things stand. If she jumps at the chance to see you again, as it appears to be the case here, then its a green light to continue pursuing.

I don't understand either what is so desirable about a stripper, but that's not my business.

 

[zekko]

I had this girl go away and have sex

Bigneil, are you saying she went away and had sex with some dude?

Anyway, I agree with Serg897. So what if he likes her? He seems to have realistic expectations because of her age and all. And even if he gets hurt, what's the big deal? We all get hurt (well, most of us anyway). You get over it, and maybe you learn something. As long as he doesn't kill himself or shoot up a YMCA, whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

I don't get the attraction with strippers either, but to each his own.

 

[AlexDP]

If she dumped me she would have forgotten me and when I called I would have heard that monotone voice, not someone who cared enough to yell. Have you ever yelled at a woman you didn't have huge feelings for?

"Never be put off by a flash of anger or resentment, it's a sure sign of enslavement." (Robert Greene, Art of Seduction).

Did anyone stop to consider I might have increased her attraction? That I might have potentially sacrificed one of my all time babes for this experiment in NC for SS?

Anyhow, for those who are really just out to protect me from getting hurt, she's too young to hurt me. That's the beauty of this. I can't take her that seriously. I was curious what happened and want to see her, but I won't be hurt. I'll laugh it off if and when she gets the best of me. Why do guys get so attached? I've done her so much I'm almost bored of her body by now - who says I won't hurt her? I normally don't want anything to do with a girl once I sleep with her.

IMO this was simply a standoff. Either of us could have contacted the other while both cared enough to count the days. It didn't prove her lack of interest any more than my own.

And this "You'll never make it" mentality assumes marriages with non strippers work?? Don't 51% fail?

Narcissistic injury. You might want to look it up. All the best, Neil . Ahhh the joy when a narcissist meets a borderline...

As for some people on this thread: don't take his words at face value, look besides the ego and see how fragile and angry he gets when people criticise him. Textbook narcissist.

 

[TonyBaloney]

Neil is ultimately phucked in this situation anyway you slice it.

Emotionally invested in a mentally unstable whack job.

PIMP

Neil,

Before I write, I just want to say that I admire many of your posts and that we've never locked horns.

I think that there is some truth in what other members are saying; we cant all be wrong. The ones who are in support are seem to be young DJ's who would get off on the vibe of a stripper. You, I and others who are cautioning you are wiser and older. Although rather crude in his statements, I think ALEX DP is being cruel to be kind; dont look at any any of this as one upmanship, we all know why we are here, we are womanisers, ladys men, who cant or wont settle with the right kinda girl. This is defo the wrong kinda girl. You must start spinning alot more and dropping her out of the itenary. I'm still foooked up 6 months down the line of a NPD/BPD nut job - dont fall in the same trap buddy.

 

[cablecow15]

I dont see any overwhelming signs that hes hooked on her , to me it seems like hes more excited about proving all of you wrong than anything else .

Ill bet as soon as he heard excitement in her voice when he called he was thinking " man , those guys are gonna be so pissed" If you ever get close to achieving something that your peers deem as "impossible" you will get a passion for being right . Its just human nature.

 

[sstype]

Lol.....dated a stripper for a year. Very sweet intelligent girl and fun but had lots of issues...drove me nuts. And she was the sane one compared to her coworkers.

All I can say is have fun but don't expect this to last long-term if you prefer to keep your sanity intact.

 

[bigneil]

I appreciate the advice everyone, even AlexDP.

Notes:
0) Regarding those who are concerned I might get hurt (chuckle) - I'm being honest when I say that at 41 you simply can't fall for a 20 year old the same way as say a 30 year old. And not taking them seriously is the key to maintaining their interest! That said, I do love this girl and have not ruled her out as a (FAR) future wife. I've dated young hot women for up to 5 years before - you have to ride the wave of their emotions and endure long periods of not hearing from them, but you get your hooks in deeper.
1) Other plates: I made out with that bartender tonight (age 29 - third visit to her bar). And she lives with a guy but told me she's unhappy. You are only as good as your second best girl.
2) Calling her a stripper is almost an insult because she's so much prettier and sweeter than 99% of strippers. I'm not pretending all strippers are good.
3) Nothing says high interest like getting a 4 part text message which I just got from the stripper. She agreed to a bikini model photoshoot that we've planned for weeks (yes, I'll publish them!).
4) When she and I spoke - after 3 weeks of mutual NC - one of us had to be madder - one of us had to have blown off the other. A chicken laid an egg on the top of a roof and it had to roll one way or the other. She was the more emotional one, raising her voice, and yelling (the way I wanted to in my mind but was too smart to). I didn't apologize, but played the role of covering my tracks "Sorry baby, you know you're the only one!".
5) When I ask this girl out I feel the excitement of having my team in the Super Bowl or World Series - it's either the biggest win ever or the worst loss ever. I want women who I love enough to make me feel that way. That means risking being hurt. It beats a .500 season.
6) I've tried to document my rise (and fall) with the stripper for those who encounter similar women.
7) Her being 20 is much more of a factor than her being a stripper.
8) If you want to know if a girl is still interested - simply ask them (especially when they are yelling, for example):
*Her: (loudly) So you couldn't even TEXT me for THREE WEEKS?
*Her: (loudly) What is WRONG with you!??
*Me: (quietly) Are we still together?
*Her: (quietly) I hope so...

This was my main indication, based on her subconcious reaction. If they aren't interested and you ask "Should we end it?" (et al) they'll say ".... I don't know...". Prosecuters use this when they ask "Did you kill your wife?" and anything besides an emotionless, simple"no" indicates "yes".