OK, this is where im at. i just got out of a year and 11 month relationship (longest ive had). i was so attached to this girl. i must have broken up with her 50 times or more, but each time she begged me and chased me and i gave in every time. so now, she broke up with me and im a fukcing wreck. i cant stop thinking about her and basically, i cant talk to any girl with out feeling weird. However, that hasn't stopped me. I was in new york for the weekend, and i found some girl, talked to her for a day, fukc'd her the next and now im leaving. ive been talking to a bunch of girls, 2-3 of which will fukc me when i get back home. now, i havent had any1 but this girl for almost 2 years. even though i did that one chick i still felt weird the next day. i just need some tips as to how to get over that douchebag "one-idis" girl ive been with. and please dont direct me to the breakup guide... ive read it many times.
Breakup, fukc, and so many more
- Thread starter Xtasy9800
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WC2
Master Don Juan
You aren't really in a unique situation; most men who have been with women have been through this.
Many men make the mistake of thinking that if they **** some other girl, they are going to get over their ex. While it does help out a lot, it's not always true. To get over someone you need to realize why it happened and how to prevent something like it from happening next time. It hurts to think about the REAL reason why your woman dumped you, but you have to come to terms before you can really recover.
Your woman broke up with you because she conquered you and wants to slam other guys. I repeat, your woman wants to ride other men and love every second of it. Don't believe me? I can attest to the hundreds of others who come here believing that for some mysterious reason their women broke up with them, only to find out she's doing/been doing someone else.
Women are just like this. They swing from branch to branch trying to conquer one male ontop of another. By letting your chick back in so many times, she finally came to the realization that she could have you no matter what and you were no longer challenging to keep. Sayonara sucker.
Here's the good news.. ALL women are capable of doing this. And almost ALL men who have dated women have learned the same lesson. It sucks and it's hurtful, but it's also a time to start becoming someone who is more familiar with how a woman thinks.
I won't lie to you; getting over an ex is not pretty business. It's going to take weeks to months. And even after that you'll still have short periods where she still is in your mind. The bottom line is that you need to come to terms with what happened and move on.
Keep yourself busy. Do things you've never done before. DON'T force yourself to get with other women just cause you think it'll make you heal faster. You're better than that. Instead, work towards your goals and don't let this chick get into your head. Remove her name from your life.
I've said this countless times and still live by it.. I've dated many women in my life and thought I loved all of them. The funny thing is, looking back on things I don't regret breaking up/being nexted by any of them! It takes time to get over these things, but there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Many men make the mistake of thinking that if they **** some other girl, they are going to get over their ex. While it does help out a lot, it's not always true. To get over someone you need to realize why it happened and how to prevent something like it from happening next time. It hurts to think about the REAL reason why your woman dumped you, but you have to come to terms before you can really recover.
Your woman broke up with you because she conquered you and wants to slam other guys. I repeat, your woman wants to ride other men and love every second of it. Don't believe me? I can attest to the hundreds of others who come here believing that for some mysterious reason their women broke up with them, only to find out she's doing/been doing someone else.
Women are just like this. They swing from branch to branch trying to conquer one male ontop of another. By letting your chick back in so many times, she finally came to the realization that she could have you no matter what and you were no longer challenging to keep. Sayonara sucker.
Here's the good news.. ALL women are capable of doing this. And almost ALL men who have dated women have learned the same lesson. It sucks and it's hurtful, but it's also a time to start becoming someone who is more familiar with how a woman thinks.
I won't lie to you; getting over an ex is not pretty business. It's going to take weeks to months. And even after that you'll still have short periods where she still is in your mind. The bottom line is that you need to come to terms with what happened and move on.
Keep yourself busy. Do things you've never done before. DON'T force yourself to get with other women just cause you think it'll make you heal faster. You're better than that. Instead, work towards your goals and don't let this chick get into your head. Remove her name from your life.
I've said this countless times and still live by it.. I've dated many women in my life and thought I loved all of them. The funny thing is, looking back on things I don't regret breaking up/being nexted by any of them! It takes time to get over these things, but there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Vlad the Impaler
Banned
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Yeah I think WC2 covered it. Look on the bright side OP, at least you don't have to work with her.
KontrollerX
Master Don Juan
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Tips...
-Stay no contact
-Throw away or delete any pictures and momentos you have with her
-Stick to hobbies and friends to distract yourself with, stay busy basically
-Avoid trying to get into a serious relationship with any girl until you feel very recovered as if you are still emotionally fvcked up over the oneitis you'll sabotage your new relationship and get twice the pain when that girl dumps you for trying to use her as your therapist and surrogate girlfriend
-When you are ready for a new relationship don't try and force it just chill with and fvck a whole bunch of girls and if a connection is made it will flow naturally between the two of you
-Keep fvcking new women. Take breaks periodically from it though if its not helping you much to get over the oneitis and instead focus more on what actually does distract you and help you get over her
-Stay no contact
-Throw away or delete any pictures and momentos you have with her
-Stick to hobbies and friends to distract yourself with, stay busy basically
-Avoid trying to get into a serious relationship with any girl until you feel very recovered as if you are still emotionally fvcked up over the oneitis you'll sabotage your new relationship and get twice the pain when that girl dumps you for trying to use her as your therapist and surrogate girlfriend
-When you are ready for a new relationship don't try and force it just chill with and fvck a whole bunch of girls and if a connection is made it will flow naturally between the two of you
-Keep fvcking new women. Take breaks periodically from it though if its not helping you much to get over the oneitis and instead focus more on what actually does distract you and help you get over her
ty, im about to head to the mall and maybe get some more vertical smile.... maybe it'll help maybe it wont... i ended up talking to her today about us and she said that she hooked up with someone and i said so did i. but i only told her we made out, which is what she said she did. (i only went to see her because she was watching my pets while i was away and i had to pick them up)
OK well im off to the mall
OK well im off to the mall
Bro I'm in the exact same situation. I was with a girl for 7 months and I must of broken up with her 3-5 times and she always came back. I broke up with her cause I felt like there were so many girls out there and If i lost her it wouldn't be a big deal. Well, at the end it was a really bad breakup and she basically ended it. I thought she would come back this time but she never did. Well, I tried moving on but I just couldn't find myself interested in anyone else. And my one night stands didnt help at all. I just kept thinking about her. Well, we finally resolved things 2 months later and started talking again but now she has a boyfriend. And now i know I can never have her back.
It f'ing sucks cause I feel like an idiot and should have never left her. I feel like it will take such a long time to find another girl like that. And here I am with no girl and she's in a relationship!
Here's what I'm doing now. I'm trying to be as busy as I can. Heck I even switched gyms so I can be in a new atmosphere and meet new people. I'm working on a lot of things that I never had the opportunity to do before, I'm learning a new language and now in basketball league on wednesdays.
I joined a online dating site. I'm talking to a few girls and planning on meeting up with them this week. I have one booty call with a babe i met at the bars. I'm going out more, not just the weekends but during the week too.
I keep telling myself that things have a funny way of working themselves out. Just hang in there and like WC2 ssaid, there is light at the end of tunnel. Each day will get better and she'll become a thing of the past.
Also I wasnt sure if this was a good idea but I became friends with my ex and we started talking again(somewhat). I know she has a BF but it gives me a sense of closure. We're still friends and I feel more comfortable with that. I know a lot of people probably dont agree with this but I personally feel like it has worked. Anyhow it's like a new beginning for me and i know things will only get better as long as I keep moving forward
It f'ing sucks cause I feel like an idiot and should have never left her. I feel like it will take such a long time to find another girl like that. And here I am with no girl and she's in a relationship!
Here's what I'm doing now. I'm trying to be as busy as I can. Heck I even switched gyms so I can be in a new atmosphere and meet new people. I'm working on a lot of things that I never had the opportunity to do before, I'm learning a new language and now in basketball league on wednesdays.
I joined a online dating site. I'm talking to a few girls and planning on meeting up with them this week. I have one booty call with a babe i met at the bars. I'm going out more, not just the weekends but during the week too.
I keep telling myself that things have a funny way of working themselves out. Just hang in there and like WC2 ssaid, there is light at the end of tunnel. Each day will get better and she'll become a thing of the past.
Also I wasnt sure if this was a good idea but I became friends with my ex and we started talking again(somewhat). I know she has a BF but it gives me a sense of closure. We're still friends and I feel more comfortable with that. I know a lot of people probably dont agree with this but I personally feel like it has worked. Anyhow it's like a new beginning for me and i know things will only get better as long as I keep moving forward
thanks sandow, but before i go on further... i was at the mall today w/ a wingman and we were tryin to get girls... and guess who the FVCK i saw in the food court? MY FVCKING EX shes looking right at me, mind you this was before we even started talking to any girls. she tries to wave, but her friend pulls her away(a friend that i hate). I was in line to get food, and suddenly IM NOT FVCKING HUNGRY ANY MORE. just SEEING her made me sick to my stomach and unable to eat. After that we tried a few approaches and had EPIC fail. went something like this
wingman: excuse me could you help me out?
2 girls: with what?
wingman: my friend here, hes....
me: no, fvck you, both of you, fvck it!
(i walk away mumbling and randomly saying fvck loudly)
IM A WRECK- the rest of my day was just me thinking about her... easily the worst day of my life.
So anyways me and 2 of my friends go out to a movie with one of their gf's and 2 of her friends. that all goes well, and then the movie ends... little miss sunshine comes prancing into my head again... all the memories, all the bull**** everything... i wanted it all back. so i drop everyone off and call her...
this call might as well had been a rusty knife slowly cutting my balls and d!ck off.
me:hi, how are you?
ex: good, how are you?
me: good, how was your day?
ex: not bad,(blah blah blah)
me: cool.
ex: so what did you want to talk about?
me: i dunno, (i didnt want to say what i really wanted so i said "i dunno" for about 10 minutes)
ex: ok well im about to go to bed so either tell me or call me back sometime.
me: ok, well... i miss you i want you back.
ex: it wouldnt work, im sorry
me: *sigh* please just give it a try
ex: no, im sick of trying, im over you.
me: (listing off reasons i would change and we would work)(none of which are true)
ex: no, im sorry im over you it wouldnt work.
basically this goes on for about 45 minutes.
the ****ty thing is, if she would just be mean to me i could get over her so easily. but she keeps being so nice, i cant get angry at all and so all im stuck with is sadness.
ANYWAYS, the call goes on like that for a while then at the end:
me: ok, well this is the last time you are going to hear from me.
ex: no, i dont want to end on bad terms.
me: well i cant be on good terms with you and not want you.
ex: dont be like that, its immature.
me: (thinnking*FVCK YOU MOTHER FVCKER) how is it immature? im securing my well being.
ex: ok well do what you want i dont want to argue.
me: ok. once i hang up this phone, you wont ever hear from me or see me again.
ex: no, i wanna leave on good terms.
me: goodnight. (i hang up)
then i come home and rip my heart out and feed it to my pet rats.
anyways... thank you sandow i appreciate the advice.
plz keep advising i need it
wingman: excuse me could you help me out?
2 girls: with what?
wingman: my friend here, hes....
me: no, fvck you, both of you, fvck it!
(i walk away mumbling and randomly saying fvck loudly)
IM A WRECK- the rest of my day was just me thinking about her... easily the worst day of my life.
So anyways me and 2 of my friends go out to a movie with one of their gf's and 2 of her friends. that all goes well, and then the movie ends... little miss sunshine comes prancing into my head again... all the memories, all the bull**** everything... i wanted it all back. so i drop everyone off and call her...
this call might as well had been a rusty knife slowly cutting my balls and d!ck off.
me:hi, how are you?
ex: good, how are you?
me: good, how was your day?
ex: not bad,(blah blah blah)
me: cool.
ex: so what did you want to talk about?
me: i dunno, (i didnt want to say what i really wanted so i said "i dunno" for about 10 minutes)
ex: ok well im about to go to bed so either tell me or call me back sometime.
me: ok, well... i miss you i want you back.
ex: it wouldnt work, im sorry
me: *sigh* please just give it a try
ex: no, im sick of trying, im over you.
me: (listing off reasons i would change and we would work)(none of which are true)
ex: no, im sorry im over you it wouldnt work.
basically this goes on for about 45 minutes.
the ****ty thing is, if she would just be mean to me i could get over her so easily. but she keeps being so nice, i cant get angry at all and so all im stuck with is sadness.
ANYWAYS, the call goes on like that for a while then at the end:
me: ok, well this is the last time you are going to hear from me.
ex: no, i dont want to end on bad terms.
me: well i cant be on good terms with you and not want you.
ex: dont be like that, its immature.
me: (thinnking*FVCK YOU MOTHER FVCKER) how is it immature? im securing my well being.
ex: ok well do what you want i dont want to argue.
me: ok. once i hang up this phone, you wont ever hear from me or see me again.
ex: no, i wanna leave on good terms.
me: goodnight. (i hang up)
then i come home and rip my heart out and feed it to my pet rats.
anyways... thank you sandow i appreciate the advice.
plz keep advising i need it
WC2
Master Don Juan
Hopefully this experience will teach you a little self control and more importantly how to grow some balls.
Your neediness is unappealing to the opposite sex. Doesn't matter if it's your girlfriend or someone you are flirting with; desperate = immature and unattractive.
Now that we are past that, please stop calling this girl man.
You're just torturing yourself in the long run. I 100% guarantee that calling this chick and telling you how sorry you are will not get her back.
In fact, not to rain on your parade anymore (I know it's quite a ****ty one atm), but by doing what you did today, you've probably solidified her grounds for getting over you. In other words, by giving her closure to the fact that you need her more than she needs you, she can move on with her head held up high.
The lesson to learn through this is that YOU need to be that person who leaves these kinds of relationships with your head up high. It all starts with core relationship values. Don't let a woman take over your life. Keep your goals and ambitions while you're with this woman, instead of making her your main focus. Don't accept ****ty behavior or she will just get used to doing it, and so on.
By doing all these things, you can successfully leave a relationship with minor aftershocks. Maybe a week or sos worth of rebounding. So what?
The position you're in now, you are going to be rebounding for a month or two, depending on how well you get her out of your mind.
Like I said yesterday, the first week or two is VERY tough. Fighting the urge to contact this girl may sometimes seem impossible, but at least keep yourself busy with something else. Hell, even playing video games for a short time can get things off your mind.
This is a learning experience. Do you think all early relationships in a man's life end well?
Your neediness is unappealing to the opposite sex. Doesn't matter if it's your girlfriend or someone you are flirting with; desperate = immature and unattractive.
Now that we are past that, please stop calling this girl man.
You're just torturing yourself in the long run. I 100% guarantee that calling this chick and telling you how sorry you are will not get her back.
In fact, not to rain on your parade anymore (I know it's quite a ****ty one atm), but by doing what you did today, you've probably solidified her grounds for getting over you. In other words, by giving her closure to the fact that you need her more than she needs you, she can move on with her head held up high.
The lesson to learn through this is that YOU need to be that person who leaves these kinds of relationships with your head up high. It all starts with core relationship values. Don't let a woman take over your life. Keep your goals and ambitions while you're with this woman, instead of making her your main focus. Don't accept ****ty behavior or she will just get used to doing it, and so on.
By doing all these things, you can successfully leave a relationship with minor aftershocks. Maybe a week or sos worth of rebounding. So what?
The position you're in now, you are going to be rebounding for a month or two, depending on how well you get her out of your mind.
Like I said yesterday, the first week or two is VERY tough. Fighting the urge to contact this girl may sometimes seem impossible, but at least keep yourself busy with something else. Hell, even playing video games for a short time can get things off your mind.
This is a learning experience. Do you think all early relationships in a man's life end well?
as much as i hate hearing all that $hit... i know its true because i used to be like that. i dated a lot of girls and i dumped all of them no problem. thats why im in so much shock about this girl. i have stayed true to my word so far, and i plan to keep to it.
i started getting rid of her so far by breaking the picture she gave me, and im throwing all the pictures of us away today. im not going to destroy/throw away the clothes she gave me, because they are nice clothes and they dont really make me think about her at all.
anyways, ill be fine now, after last night i think i can control myself.... hopefully.
but hey, if you have any advice dont hold back i still want to hear it.
i started getting rid of her so far by breaking the picture she gave me, and im throwing all the pictures of us away today. im not going to destroy/throw away the clothes she gave me, because they are nice clothes and they dont really make me think about her at all.
anyways, ill be fine now, after last night i think i can control myself.... hopefully.
but hey, if you have any advice dont hold back i still want to hear it.
VIVAlasVEGASBaby
Senior Don Juan
Search "break-up", "heartbreak", and "dumped" and read the replies from joekerr31, Kontroller X, Interceptor, Victory Unlimited, et all.
Helped me a lot. If anything all the reading and sh!t just keeps your mind off everything. I got dumped 2 months ago. It was a 3 year relationship. I haven't talked to her since and i've been feeling very good lately. The key is NO CONTACT!!! The longer you keep her in your life, the longer it will take to get over her.
This is a good post btw,
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=60541
Helped me a lot. If anything all the reading and sh!t just keeps your mind off everything. I got dumped 2 months ago. It was a 3 year relationship. I haven't talked to her since and i've been feeling very good lately. The key is NO CONTACT!!! The longer you keep her in your life, the longer it will take to get over her.
This is a good post btw,
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=60541
You'll be fine bro. In my last post I said I started talking to her again only as friends, but recently I've been cutting off all contacts with her and it actually feels a lot better. Everytime i talked to her it just brought up memories along with frustration. I didn't feel like i was moving forward. But I'm almost over her and love being single with all these options. You just gotta keep telling yourself things will work out for the better, but you have to be patient! All these tips on this site are really helpful, but the most important factor is time. It's just a matter of time and you'll be your old self again. I'm proof!
thx.
i went today without contacting her other than when she called me, but i had to answer otherwise my parents wouldve and i didnt have time to tell them not to answer... but i didnt talk to her for more than 10 seconds.
i went today without contacting her other than when she called me, but i had to answer otherwise my parents wouldve and i didnt have time to tell them not to answer... but i didnt talk to her for more than 10 seconds.