Breaking up with a plate

[Juanto]

Hi guys, thought i´d share this story with you. Up until yesterday I had 4 plates on rotation, and that had been the case for the past 3 years. However, it was becoming just too overwhelming for me to give time and attention to all of them, it felt like almost a part-time job. So I decided to break up with the one I least was attracted to, even though she always behaved in a very respectful way, nurturing, and submissive. However the chemistry I had for her was the lowest of all of them, and therefore yesterday I decided to cut ties with her. I know I did the right thing also for her, as she liked me way more than I liked her but i was never going to make her my "girlfriend".

Perhaps I shouldnt be dwelling too much on this, but have you ever had to do this too? How was it for you, and did it still "sting" despite being the right thing to do?

Thank you

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Perhaps I shouldnt be dwelling too much on this, but have you ever had to do this too? How was it for you, and did it still "sting" despite being the right thing to do?

If it 'still stings' when you break up with someone, it just shows you still have a heart.

i was never going to make her my "girlfriend".

Is that what you told her?

 

[Juanto]

Is that what you told her?

No, I told her I was going through a difficult period in my life where I could not continue to date her, wished her nothing but the best in her life and hope she would find someone in the same "wave length" as she is now.

And thank for the feedback, from a fellow european.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

No, I told her I was going through a difficult period in my life where I could not continue to date her, wished her nothing but the best in her life and hope she would find someone in the same "wave length" as she is now.

Tactful. Well done.

 

[BPH]

Maybe I'm in the minority here, but if it gets to the point where you're this emotionally invested in a woman I would say you're dating - not that she's a plate.

Further, if this is how emotionally invested you are in a woman that you have the LEAST chemistry with, I'd be concerned with how you treat the other 3 that you enjoy more. Do these women know you're "single" or do they each believe that you're their boyfriend?

If it's the former, I'd be thinking about finding a woman that's a serious contender for a LTR to start a family, considering your age.

If it's the latter, that's a lot of time and energy you're investing into women that you consider "plates".

I don't think you're asking the right question here; if I were you I'd be wondering why I'm so invested in my least compatible "plate" that I feel the need to formally end the relationship when I'm more invested with 3 other women at the age of 42.

 

[Clockwerk50]

There are 3 ways to break up with someone:

1. Be clingy and possessive, exaggerating affection to the point of monotony. This constant, overwhelming attention will drive them away within weeks. It’s a strategic approach to end things while maintaining control.
2. Make the break feel like a natural, stylish part of life. Tell them that work, travel, or another responsibility is calling you away. The goal is to leave on a pleasant note, without guilt or resentment. Create a memorable experience like a last date before you leave when separating, and they’ll remember the seduction, not the breakup.
3. End things bluntly, sparing them the insincere explanations that only stir negative emotions. Apologizing too much insults their pride and complicates the situation. Cut the ties cleanly, ending their misery right away.

Number 2 is ideal if you want to keep a harem or comeback to them if you wish to do so in the future by not making any enemies.

 

[Juanto]

If it's the former, I'd be thinking about finding a woman that's a serious contender for a LTR to start a family, considering your age.

It’s this one, and yes I do have a favorite that I would like to keep as my LTR. I guess I’m finding it hard to let the other 2 go… and yes, I know I’m not being ethical here so I’m open for criticism for this, which I have to accept

 

[Juanto]

Make the break feel like a natural, stylish part of life. Tell them that work, travel, or another responsibility is calling you away. The goal is to leave on a pleasant note, without guilt or resentment. Create a memorable experience like a last date before you leave when separating, and they’ll remember the seduction, not the breakup.

It’s what I did, basically

 

[GoodMan32]

I briefly dated 2 girls simultaneously in college.

I ended up dumping the one I was less into. As for how I did it, I told her before class one day "This isn't working"

Did it sting? No. What stung was the fact the girl I was more into ended up nexting me shortly after.

It sucks how the broads who really want you tend to be broads you aren't really into, while the broads you really want don't tend to be super into you (at least that's my experience)

 

[GoodMan32]

I'm making a separate post because this is a separate idea (but still ties into the topic)

I know what you mean about how much time/energy it takes to devote attention to multiple broads (I fully agree with your analogy that it's like having another job). No way could I do that at my age. Balancing 2 in college was hard enough; I have no idea how you managed to balance 4 as a working adult.

 

[Juanto]

I'm making a separate post because this is a separate idea (but still ties into the topic)

I know what you mean about how much time/energy it takes to devote attention to multiple broads (I fully agree with your analogy that it's like having another job). No way could I do that at my age. Balancing 2 in college was hard enough; I have no idea how you managed to balance 4 as a working adult.

Only seeing them once a week, which is still quite a bit of time. It does provide a nice array of variety and I have quite a high libido as well. But it became too draining…

 

[GoodMan32]

Only seeing them once a week, which is still quite a bit of time. It does provide a nice array of variety and I have quite a high libido as well. But it became too draining…

Per your credentials, I see you're 42. There's another poster around your age (he's 41) who's mentioned he still has a high libido too (@SW15)

Maybe I'm in the minority. At 33, my sex drive has plummeted. 4 plates, once a week per plate, that'd be way too much for me. Hell, even one plate 4 times a week would be too much for me.

One plate twice a week would be my ideal.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Maybe I'm in the minority.

No kidding.

 

[Juanto]

Per your credentials, I see you're 42. There's another poster around your age (he's 41) who's mentioned he still has a high libido too (@SW15)

Maybe I'm in the minority. At 33, my sex drive has plummeted. 4 plates, once a week per plate, that'd be way too much for me. Hell, even one plate 4 times a week would be too much for me.

One plate twice a week would be my ideal.

Yes I am 42

 

[darksprezzatura]

I don’t “break up” with women I sleep with. I just take away my time and attention.

Women have needs, they will replace you in time. Don’t worry about them, they aren’t idiots.

Do whats best for you and be respectful and kind.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Perhaps I shouldnt be dwelling too much on this, but have you ever had to do this too? How was it for you, and did it still "sting" despite being the right thing to do?

Thank you

Dude...have four plates and are breaking up with your least favourite one. If you are dwelling on this decision, what's going to happen when you have to break up with the other three? Surely this is not a moral dilemma, as you are dating four different women (presumably without disclosing your non-exclusivity).

 

[BadBoy89]

So I decided to break up with the one I least was attracted to, even though she always behaved in a very respectful way, nurturing, and submissive. However the chemistry I had for her was the lowest of all of them, and therefore yesterday I decided to cut ties with her. I know I did the right thing also for her, as she liked me way more than I liked her but i was never going to make her my "girlfriend".

Perhaps I shouldnt be dwelling too much on this, but have you ever had to do this too? How was it for you, and did it still "sting" despite being the right thing to do?

Nah bro. We don't know what it feels like to break up with a hot, nurturing, sexy, submissive girl.

Most on Sosuave can't get one plate, let alone four.

 

[Scaramouche]

Hi Juanto,
Scarras fifteenth Mantra,In no circumstances,completely break with a Plate,just slide out of her life for a while....Life is sometimes cruel and you may be very grateful to slide back in one Day.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I don’t “break up” with women I sleep with. I just take away my time and attention.

Exactly. This is not a committed relationship, you don't really have to sit her down and talk how you don't have time for her anymore. Just neglect her and she'll get the message. And the door remains ajar.

 

[Juanto]

Hi Juanto,
Scarras fifteenth Mantra,In no circumstances,completely break with a Plate,just slide out of her life for a while....Life is sometimes cruel and you may be very grateful to slide back in one Day.

good point here