Razor Sharp
Senior Don Juan
Background: I've been in a long term relationship with two women for almost two years now. Since I am too lazy to cover my own tracks, they know about each other and I've had no drama until recently.
I knew it was inevitable that one of them would get jealous so was not too surprised when Girl #2 hit me with the ultimatum. I had to ditch #1 or she was gone. I let her know that was her choice and I would respect it but I was not going to dump anyone. That pissed her off.
Fast-forward 2 weeks later. I haven't heard from her at all. No calls, no emails, zero. Very tempted to reach out, but I know the game she is playing so I fall back. Eventually she caves and calls me to meet up. Says we need to talk. So we decide to have some coffee near my house and that's where she tells me she met someone.
Keep in mind this is a chick who has been by my side through thick and thin so this is not easy for me to hear. I can see her gauging my reaction and know that the worst thing to do is overreact or get all needy, so I play it cool.
#2: I met someone
Me: Hey, congrats
#2: Aren't you curious who it is?
Me: It's not much of my business now apparently
#2: So then it's over? Just like that?
Me: That's what you seem to be telling me
#2: Not really. We can still be together - I just have someone else for occasional fun
Me: I see now. This is your own ironic way of highlighting my double-standard. Well played
#2: You have to admit this is totally unfair. You can spread your love around but I can't?
Me: You can do whatever you want, but don't expect me to compromise myself, not like this
#2: You are so selfish you know that? Relationships ARE compromise
Me: Relationships are built on mutual understanding. This whole conversation reveals how much you really do not get me, so it's probably best if we both move on.
#2: Just like that? How can you be so cold?
Me: Hey, this is not easy for me, I care about you a great deal and you know that, but there's no going back now. You've already made your choice.
#2: You can always dump #1 and I can forget about this guy.
Me: We both know that's just not true. Look we can drag this whole thing out but I've been down this road many times and know how it ends, so if you have nothing else to say, I've got some errands to run. *peck on the cheek*
#2: ...
I left her there wondering why her plan had backfired. Wasn't easy - I still have feelings for this woman and she was an animal in the sack, but she got the cutoff switch.
Days go by and there is no contact. 1 week, 2 weeks, 3 weeks then one day I find her waiting for me after work. She has obviously been crying so we start talking. She wants me back and doesn't care about #1 anymore. I am sooo tempted to pull her back under my wing, but I know things can never be the same. I try to console her but she's a mess so I hail her a cab and send her home.
This was about a week ago and she is now obsessed with me. I've had to block her emails and ignore her texts. #1 says that she stalks me but I haven't caught her myself.
It's just funny - looking back on this experience, I can't help but be amused by my own progress. Years ago I would have done things a lot differently:
#2: So I met someone
Me: WHO?! Is it someone I know? I'll f*cking kill him! Baby please take me back! I'll fold to your emotional blackmail and do whatever you want, effectively castrating myself and ruining any chance that you will ever respect me as a man again. Just don't leave me! WAAAAAAAAAHHAHAHAAAA!
Lessons:
• If you think you are not ready to settle down, then you're not
• Have standards and stick to them
• Realize when a relationship is just not worth salvaging
• No emotional outbursts, don't give them the satisfaction
• Do not be ruled by attachment. Sometimes you have to let go of someone you love for mutual benefit
• Make a clean break. Going back and forth just prolongs the heartache
Make no mistake fellas. I am gutted over this. She was a solid 9 and an overall cool girl. But as it is often said, you know there's other fish, in the sea that is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJunijzmjks
I knew it was inevitable that one of them would get jealous so was not too surprised when Girl #2 hit me with the ultimatum. I had to ditch #1 or she was gone. I let her know that was her choice and I would respect it but I was not going to dump anyone. That pissed her off.
Fast-forward 2 weeks later. I haven't heard from her at all. No calls, no emails, zero. Very tempted to reach out, but I know the game she is playing so I fall back. Eventually she caves and calls me to meet up. Says we need to talk. So we decide to have some coffee near my house and that's where she tells me she met someone.
Keep in mind this is a chick who has been by my side through thick and thin so this is not easy for me to hear. I can see her gauging my reaction and know that the worst thing to do is overreact or get all needy, so I play it cool.
#2: I met someone
Me: Hey, congrats
#2: Aren't you curious who it is?
Me: It's not much of my business now apparently
#2: So then it's over? Just like that?
Me: That's what you seem to be telling me
#2: Not really. We can still be together - I just have someone else for occasional fun
Me: I see now. This is your own ironic way of highlighting my double-standard. Well played
#2: You have to admit this is totally unfair. You can spread your love around but I can't?
Me: You can do whatever you want, but don't expect me to compromise myself, not like this
#2: You are so selfish you know that? Relationships ARE compromise
Me: Relationships are built on mutual understanding. This whole conversation reveals how much you really do not get me, so it's probably best if we both move on.
#2: Just like that? How can you be so cold?
Me: Hey, this is not easy for me, I care about you a great deal and you know that, but there's no going back now. You've already made your choice.
#2: You can always dump #1 and I can forget about this guy.
Me: We both know that's just not true. Look we can drag this whole thing out but I've been down this road many times and know how it ends, so if you have nothing else to say, I've got some errands to run. *peck on the cheek*
#2: ...
I left her there wondering why her plan had backfired. Wasn't easy - I still have feelings for this woman and she was an animal in the sack, but she got the cutoff switch.
Days go by and there is no contact. 1 week, 2 weeks, 3 weeks then one day I find her waiting for me after work. She has obviously been crying so we start talking. She wants me back and doesn't care about #1 anymore. I am sooo tempted to pull her back under my wing, but I know things can never be the same. I try to console her but she's a mess so I hail her a cab and send her home.
This was about a week ago and she is now obsessed with me. I've had to block her emails and ignore her texts. #1 says that she stalks me but I haven't caught her myself.
It's just funny - looking back on this experience, I can't help but be amused by my own progress. Years ago I would have done things a lot differently:
#2: So I met someone
Me: WHO?! Is it someone I know? I'll f*cking kill him! Baby please take me back! I'll fold to your emotional blackmail and do whatever you want, effectively castrating myself and ruining any chance that you will ever respect me as a man again. Just don't leave me! WAAAAAAAAAHHAHAHAAAA!
Lessons:
• If you think you are not ready to settle down, then you're not
• Have standards and stick to them
• Realize when a relationship is just not worth salvaging
• No emotional outbursts, don't give them the satisfaction
• Do not be ruled by attachment. Sometimes you have to let go of someone you love for mutual benefit
• Make a clean break. Going back and forth just prolongs the heartache
Make no mistake fellas. I am gutted over this. She was a solid 9 and an overall cool girl. But as it is often said, you know there's other fish, in the sea that is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJunijzmjks
