Breaking Up after 1.5 years

[Wraith]

Ouch. I made a post a year and a half ago about this girl I was crazy about. Well, I got her, and cotinued teh relationship until two days ago.

She dumped me, she siad she still loves me, but she had been hurt too much. I teased her a lot, just jokingly, but never realized it hurt her. I dont think there is any way to get her back.

Just a warning to everyone else out there, pay attention to your girl. Thing can go very wrong. here I am, nearly in tears because I love this girl. I still do, I still want her back. The cahnges she thought I needed, I though I needed, so... i dunno.

Just dont end up ****ed like me out of no where.

 

[Microphone Fiend]

Hmmm, maybe you were negging her? How did you tease the girl? Most girls like getting teased a little bit. Don't let it get you down, there are plenty of other girls out there. What kind of self-improvements did she want?


P.S. How about changing your location, because other than San Fransisco, that is probably the gayest location I've ever heard of, lol

 

[Jester]

bullsh1t.


shes lying to you bro. Unless you were abusive with it, theres another reason she isnt telling you.

 

[Wraith]

It got to be a bit abusive, she is very sensitive. She never let on thought, she always smiled, but looking back, what I said DID hurt her. I know she is telling the truth. Is tehre any way to get her back I wonder>

 

[oakraiderz2]

Originally posted by Wraith
It got to be a bit abusive, she is very sensitive. She never let on thought, she always smiled, but looking back, what I said DID hurt her. I know she is telling the truth. Is tehre any way to get her back I wonder>

Why are you gonna get back with her? Are you two gettin married? Are you gonna die if you dont? The only thing youre doin is prolonging the enevitable. Youll break up sooner or later if you get back with her. So just do it now since you one step closer to getting over it than you would be if it happened in the future.

 

[Wraith]

While I see the in what you say, I dont want to do it. I want to keep on loving her. It was not a hookup thing. We were best freinds for over a year and a half. She means the world to me, and I dont want t olet her go.

I know teh DJ bible teaches to let her go, but the DJ bible is realy for hook ups, and not so much for serious relationships

 

[Blowfish]

Yeah your relationship is serious, since its LTR and if you like her alot, you never appologised to her? You have to sometimes twist the rules of DJing like the LTR said.

You could have talked to her about it, I guess the relationship was all you and not her since you were non stop teasing her and not caring for her feelings.

If I were you I'll try to talk to her about it ONCE, and only ONCE, say that you were sorry that you didn't realise she was hurt, man the girl has feelings too, if she ain't co-operating, then leave and go back to the river to fish for more fish

Well, its up to you, I do twist the DJ rule a bit nowdays.

 

[Wraith]

It wasnt all about me, I just never saw how bad it hurt her. She always smiled, and joked. I knew every now and then it hurt her but not so bad.

I already talked to her, she said she was hurt so much, and that she didn't want it anymore, she loves me, but she can't take the hurt. She told me to move on, but that she wants us to stay close. She said she will always love me, and she's going to be there for me, but not as my girlfirend. She said everyting is dry on her inside, and that it hurts her, but she cant go back Shes not going to be dating fr a long time. I was her first everything. She was my first everything.

It hurts so bad.

Please, no one make this mistake, dont do it to yourself

 

[Blowfish]

Sorry to hear about that, yeah sometimes women don't tell you everything. Just move on now, because its no use trying to win her if she is going to get hurt, unless you show her you've changed but there's no need to do that.

 

[LikRetsam]

I'm absolutly disgusted. You guys are ****ing morons. This guy gets bummed out after a seemingly great 1.5 year relationship and all you cna spit out is your don juan bull****? "There are others", "not like you were getting married", "maybe you were negging her?"

Seriously, when will you get your heads out of your asses?

Look out for a post by me created tomorrow evening.

 

[JSH]

Apologise and hope for the best, however, i reckon there is something fishy, although go with YOUR gut instinct.

The girls i know love being teased and in my last LTR, it was cool, although it ended due to her lying to me.

Teasing is all part of it, give and take. But if she means so much to you and if the teasing was the only reason for the split. Don't tease her.

 

[Luscious]

Originally posted by Wraith
Ouch. I made a post a year and a half ago about this girl I was crazy about. Well, I got her, and cotinued teh relationship until two days ago.

She dumped me, she siad she still loves me, but she had been hurt too much. I teased her a lot, just jokingly, but never realized it hurt her. I dont think there is any way to get her back.

Just a warning to everyone else out there, pay attention to your girl. Thing can go very wrong. here I am, nearly in tears because I love this girl. I still do, I still want her back. The cahnges she thought I needed, I though I needed, so... i dunno.

Just dont end up ****ed like me out of no where.

Very true stuff here.

Make sure your relationship is built on at least some degree of trust - make sure that your girl is not going to be afraid or embarrased to tell you if something is bugging her. Communication is pretty big in relationships - you need to be able to speak your mind without being really 'afraid' of the others' reaction.

Wraith, I don't know if you could save anything here, but I'd try to talk to her if I were you. Explain that you weren't aware you were offending her, and that you wouldn't have been resentful or angry if she told you this - it seems you might be able to get over that if you put some effort in.

 

[Speed Demond]

Bro....i know what ur talking about.....a few months ago i went threw something liek that but with my friends. I use to be an AFC and then started to build confidence...got a lil ****y...then it just went over board..i didn't know the limits...i mean i was being soo ****ing cawcky and ****t...it was bugging my friends alot..so after one of them talked to me i finaly figured out my limits. I lost a few friends over that..but we wont go there :S Any ways...dude just lern from this and make sure u don't go overboard next time..just play it cool..and after you'r going out with a girl for a while..make it a lil special...you don't have to be as ****y...cuz u already got the girl..well just be spontaniouse!! Aight broo..good luck with that...if you want to talk to her..see what was bugging her...and if u find it's worth saving the relationship....tell her what u were going threw..maby she'll understand..if it's just B/s from her side just get over it...aight bro..take care

 

[The Antichrist_Star]

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but your relationship obviously was not as what it was crack up to be. Let's think about this for a second: If the teasing hurt her... why did she never mention it? That just does not make sense to me. Moreover, if she loved you... why not just work it out? That is a problem that is easily remedied... or at least it should be. It sounds like both of you have internal issues that both of you need to resolve. Ergo... why is she so sensitive? Can she not take a joke? And on your side, if you did not pay much attention to her... that is obviously not a very good thing.

As for getting back together... do not even think about it. There is a reason that you guys broke up... and until both of you figure out that reason... you will only break up again. Moreover, there is no "Me" in a relationship... you guys are a group, a unit. If the unit breaks... it is both of you guys fault. That means both of you are responsible... not just you. Lastly... never change just for a woman man... change for yourself and yourself only.

And this is not about "rules" or what the "Bible" says... I am talking about this from experience.

Do yourself a favor... and do some self-discovery.

 

[Wraith]

We ended up talking for a few hours on Saterday, we both cryed, but she believes it ahs to end, that she was hurt too much, and she admits she was never strong wnough to get the point across.

I love her so much, I'm going to keep being her friend.

Perhaps one day...


Thanks for the kind words guys, it helped a lot.