"breaking the ice" need advice

[joe_ex]

I currently do fine with speaking to girls in general as, long as my interest in them is not DJ related. Here's my situation, I really have my sights on this girl in college and I see her every now and then...she seems shy and reserved but its too hard for me to make an approach....I personally am afraid of rejection....yeah I read the DJ bible, but I just need tips on "breaking the ice". To illustrate the situation I usually see her randomly, walking through hallways, and the parking lot. What do I say?

 

[matius]

Lose your fear of rejection. IT'S GOING TO HAPPEN. I use caps to prove a point. You're going to ask out alot of girls, and alot of them are going to say no, be witty and say no and some will say yes. You cannot be afraid.

To break the ice. If you can notice something about your surroundings and point it out to her. What I'm going to try in the future is to find something unique about them and then follow it up with a question. Or open with a question. Try to avoid Hi, how are you? Because she can just say 'fine' and be on her way you know what I mean.

Maybe notice her shoes or that strange necklace. I'm also going to avoid the tattoo unless I'm really intrigued...just that so many girls have a tattoo above their ass now...everyone is like - I like that tattoo hhuh huh.

 

[joe_ex]

See, I knew it. The fear factor is what makes us men, avoid a opportunity with a lady. I hate "fear factor" i see how its all in learning how to control your fear and make a move. I think I'll use reverse psycology on myself when approaching a girl from now on. Example: My goal is to get rejected when I approach a girl, therefore if rejection does happen it wouldn't shatter my confidence, and if I score with her " Hey, a that wouldn't hurt either".

 

[dionysius_d]

"Assume she likes you already"..

there's an article floating around somewhere that you should read..

If you assume she likes you already, you don't have to fear rejection. Assume she already is interested, and keep going.. you might find she is boring after 10 minutes anyway. Just immagine she likes you a lot, but doesn't want to say it.. then go ahead from there.. see what happens.

If will be able to feel if she's interested in just friendship or more, once you stop focusing on yourself so much.

 

[matius]

I think I'll use reverse psycology on myself when approaching a girl from now on. Example: My goal is to get rejected when I approach a girl, therefore if rejection does happen it wouldn't shatter my confidence

Also, think about it. I thought of this when I was reading the quote above- It's ridiculous to think that being rejected by one girl would shatter your confidence. Do you expect every single woman on the planet to drop to their knees every time you attempt to speak to them? Do you expect every person on the street to drop a dollar in the bums hand? Do you expect every employer to give you a job? No, just depends on how the market is and what you have to offer right. So don't go expecting every girl to say hell ya Jimmy let me tan by your pool diggity daddy.

You'll get rejected, you'll learn to make a joke about it, you'll learn how to determine who is a good match for you through your rejections- you'll pick up steam because of your rejections and you'll learn new and interesting ways to start conversations because of rejection.

I once asked this bombshell what her name was. She basically dropped kicked my nads in front of a whole table of people at school. Thing is, the rest of those buttercups at the table never would have approached this bombpop. No way. It didn't phase me a bit because I went up to something that could have walked off the page of a magazine cover. I did again and got a warm response from a super hottie. It's like one of those chance things.

I now feel confident that I can approach any woman (within reason). Not without feeling nervous or a bit unsure about the outcome...but from this point on dammit- I'm going to make a chance out of it.