Breaking contacting protocol with a high interest chick

[STR8UP]

Just because you aren't picking up on signals it doesn't mean she's not sending them. I think she's got the hots for you and actually genuinely likes you too. She might be holding back with more overt signals because she's afraid of rejection and screwing up the friendship. Women also fall for their friends sometimes, ya know...and they can hide it just as well as guys do.

I definitely do pick up on signals, but when she counteracts them with other words and actions, I can see through it.

I dunno, I could be way wrong here, but at this point in my life I would like to think that I can tell the difference between a chick who enjoys attention and one who wants more.

We have the strangest relationship ever, I will admit that. There have been plenty of times when she would do or say something that would make me stop and wonder about her intentions, but then the next minute her actions lead me to believe that she has no interest whatsoever outside of being friends.

Some examples- She will say something about us going on a date or whatnot, then later in the night she starts talking about going to meet some guy in Miami for the weekend. Or we will be out having a drink and she will reach over and give me a massage, then she heads home with a nonchalant goodbye and I don't hear from her for a week or more.

A chick that has a decent amount of interest won't be so inconsistent, but an attention seeker will.

I take it as something innocent and playful, and it seemed she did too until her friend stole the spotlight.

 

[Wyldfire]

She's mentioning the other guys for the same reason the guys on here will try to let girls they like see or hear about them with other women...social proof. Sometimes a woman will do this to let you know that other men find her desirable and as a way to tell you that you need to get a move on because other guys want her.

The massage and then disappear is the old "push and pull" method...show interest and then back off and wait for the guy to make a move. She's playing your own "DJ" game on you and you aren't even seeing it.

I suppose I could be wrong...but all the signals she's giving you DO imply that she is interested...especially in conjunction with the interfering with you getting with her friend.

 

[blueguy]

i didnt read this thread, but i am always very cautious with any girl i date regardless of how interested she seems. i have been given signals that lead me to believe there was high interest only to find out that when i up the ante quickly and in one big step, i am shot down and she walks in the other direction. i do think this was even a deliberate test given by some girls. never stop playing the game. move slow

 

[STR8UP]

Okay, well here's another strike against my friend having a thing for me.

What about the fact that her best friend is openly showing interest in me?

If they are best friends you would THINK that the new girl wouldn't have been so open about her interest.

I had my eye on the new girl since about the second time I met her, but I've been so busy I didn't put any thought into it. Then one night we were all out together and her friend latched onto me as soon as I walked up and it's all been pretty obvious since then.

This is just another thing that makes me seriously doubt my friends interest. As far as I'm concerned the new girl would have KNOWN something was up and she wouldn't have tried to step on any toes. These chicks are in their 30's, BTW.

I know it sounds like I'm trying to "read the signs" from my friend, but she's not the one I'm interested in. Just trying to make it happen with the other chick.

 

[Bonhomme]

During a period of experimentation I once broke contact protocol with an acquaintance who had been sending inconsistent signals, and it blew up in my face. I strongly advise not to do it. Wait until you meet her next, and get her info properly.

 

[Wyldfire]

Women often try to compete with each other for the same guy...the urge is strongest in worst enemies and closest friends...seriously. Again...I'm not sure entirely...but my gut is telling me the friend likes you.

 

[Vulpine]

Uh... there is a contacting protocol?

I must not have gotten that memo.

 

[Nighthawk]

Very Risky.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Uh... there is a contacting protocol?

I must not have gotten that memo.

Besides dodging marriage bullets you also dodge contacting protocol memos??? WOW!!!!

 

[Vulpine]

Hey, it just seems silly on a basic level.

If you want to order a pizza, you pick up the phone book, get the number, and order a pizza. You don't freak out about it. When the pizza company answers the phone, you tell them "I want to order a pizza." Do you bother to tell them where you got the contact info? No.

"Hey baby, I wanted to get in contact with you, so I did, so there, so deal with it."

Isn't that what a Man does? Decide what they want and go after it?

I guess I'm confused by the "issue".

 

[grinder]

There are WAY too many variables here to analyze them all out.

There is no real protocol as she is either interested or not, no big deal.

The only real decision you have is deciding whether you can live with yourself not knowing what would have happened if you had gone for her. That’s a totally personal choice.

 

[STR8UP]

The only real decision you have is deciding whether you can live with yourself not knowing what would have happened if you had gone for her. That’s a totally personal choice.

That's really the only thing that makes me even consider breaking my own rules.

Everyone knows how fast a woman can go from "single and ready to mingle" to "taken".

I'm really in no rush to get involved with anyone right now, however, a casual fling would hit the spot right about now.

It seems that the room is divided on this issue. I kind of expected most people to err on the side of caution and advise against it. Interesting....it seems to be about 50/50.

I still think I'm gonna hold off until at least next week. Both girls usually go to an upscale bar that's close to my house on Wednesday nights, so I might invite myself and make it happen then.

 

[STR8UP]

Uh... there is a contacting protocol?

I must not have gotten that memo.

Well, if there is I would assume that there would be a few words of caution against contacting a chick who has not personally given you her contact info.

If she isn't very interested chances are you are going to creep her out. If she is interested it might not make much of a difference, but with women YOU NEVER KNOW!

 

[STR8UP]

Hey, it just seems silly on a basic level.

If you want to order a pizza, you pick up the phone book, get the number, and order a pizza. You don't freak out about it. When the pizza company answers the phone, you tell them "I want to order a pizza." Do you bother to tell them where you got the contact info? No.

"Hey baby, I wanted to get in contact with you, so I did, so there, so deal with it."

Isn't that what a Man does? Decide what they want and go after it?

I guess I'm confused by the "issue".

You're comparing apples to oranges.

In this case the pizza driver isn't going to get wierded out and give you a bunch of excuses why he can't make it, or worse yet tell you he's gonna deliver a pizza then never show up

 

[JustDoItAlways]

You never cold call or cold email for a date.

90% of the time, it just creeps the girl out so much that you are struck off the potential list, even if she is interested to start. 10% of the time, it works out but you should always go with the odds when you know what the odds are.

You should wait until you meet up with her again (I imagine the AW CB'ing friend will be in tow.)

Then you must Isolate her.

Whisper in her ear that you want to talk and set out an area in the bar where the AW CB'ing friend won't be able to find you. The best way is to say you'll meet her outside in 10 minutes (without the AW CB'ing friend) and take her to a different near-by bar.

And AWs are always AWs. Your AW CB'ing friend might be fun to hang out with, but she is blocking your ability to find girls who actually fvck (versus AWs who rarely give it up.)

Find a way to make the AW friend your wingman instead (AWs actually get a kick out of this so it is usually easy to just ask her to play the role.) This might help in hooking up with this girl as well.

 

[Bonhomme]

Remember, though, nowadays people expect (sometimes even assume) you have their number if they call you without blocking it. If anyone calls you for social reasons without blocking caller ID, it's almost always cool to assume they want you to have the phone # from which they called. If someone else called you from their phone it's more iffy.

The last thing anyone should want to come off as is creepy.