Break up...

[TESV]

Well here we go...thanks in advance for taking some time to help out a fellow DJ Ok My GF of 6 months just recently brokeup with me for 2 reasons. (1) being 4 months into the relationship she and my parents got together and intervened on my drug addiction and now she cant deal with me using again. (2) shes depressed over the situation and how she lost one of her jobs and the other one doesnt come close to supporting her. She feels worthless and has a lack of confidence in her life and doesnt want to drag me down. I know i know this sounds like the typical i dont wanna hurt you but i dont love you anymore or theres someone else. But make your comments after reading her love for me at the end. I then went away for a month and she visited me every weekend a few thousand miles away from home (all for a few hours of time with me). Things, even though this was a very tramatic experience were amazing with this woman. She is smart, sexy, beautiful, and truly cares about my overall wel being. We both spoke of marriage, kids, and starting a life with each other as we felt destined in being together forever. However after i got back from my "vacation" she felt she needed to be a bit distant in order for her depression, and sadness (which you all can pretty much summise where this came from) and love for me to return. This was a complete shock for me and we never expect the worse to happen but it did...she accused me of doing drugs again (which stupidly i had been doing) and couldnt deal with me in a relationship until im clean and on the right path _so to speak. We have gone a few days here and there without talking (now 20 days into the breakup) and then whallah dinner, beautiful conversation followed by liplocking tounge down her throat irresistable attraction. However she is not at all feeling sexually stimulated by anything or anyone. She agreed to have sex with me after a drug test...but this is such a blow to me ego I feel as though she thinks more now like a mother than a lover. Well tonight was the last of that ****...i made a decision to not call and act busy...thinking back to the wonderful intro and the games we both played to make each other lust for sex and some of the most special moments ive ever experience with a woman. Guys, what do i do? If she wasn't (in my mind) the one I would have laughed and walked away right after she told me she needed time. I truly appreciate the help!
-Tommy

 

[Phyzzle]

she lost one of her jobs and the other one doesnt come close to supporting her. . . . . I then went away for a month and she visited me every weekend a few thousand miles away from home (all for a few hours of time with me).

Doesn't make sense. She can't afford to support herself, but she can afford several plane tickets to the other side of the country?

i made a decision to not call and act busy

Good. Pearl of wisdom: improve your life first. Until you are ready to support yourself and function without drugs, don't contact this girl.

Awww, but you don't want to wait that long? TOUGH SHYT. As long as your life's not in decent shape, as long as you need her, you're just going to lose her again and again.

The fact that you "really love her" doesn't mean a dam thing to a woman. You have to be your own man for her to want to stick around.

 

[TESV]

Reply

Doesn't make sense. She can't afford to support herself, but she can afford several plane tickets to the other side of the country?

SORRY FORGOT TO MENTION SHE PAID FOR EVERYTHING ON HER CREDIT CARD RELATED TO VISITING ME AND EVEN MY EXPENSES AS WELL AND MY FATHER SAT DOWN WITH HER LAST WEEK AND CHECKED HER BILLS OFF AND WROTE HER A CHECK TO PAY AMEX. (AROUND 10K)

Good. Pearl of wisdom: improve your life first. Until you are ready to support yourself and function without drugs, don't contact this girl.

Awww, but you don't want to wait that long? TOUGH SHYT. As long as your life's not in decent shape, as long as you need her, you're just going to lose her again and again.

YOU ARE RIGHT...DO YOU ANSWER HER CALLS? OR DO YOU GET CLEAN, GET MY OWN PLACE (NEXT WEEK I MOVEIN AND GET MY RAISE ETC).

The fact that you "really love her" doesn't mean a dam thing to a woman. You have to be your own man for her to want to stick around.

ALSO WHAT ABOUT DATING? WILL THIS MAKE HER PISSED? I HONESTLY CANT LOOK AT ANOTHER WOMAN...WHATS THE RIGHT THING TO DO...OF COURSE IF SHES JEALOUS SHE MAY COME BACK AS WELL.

 

[erickcalix]

The best advice I can give you is quit the drugs

 

[TESV]

The best advice I can give you is quit the drugs

THANKS BRO...I KNOW ITS A WEAK EXCUSE BUT SINCE THIS HAPPENED IVE SAVED MYSELF FROM TURNING HER DECISION INTO A DISASTER BY DISTRACTING MY REACTIONS AND FEELINGS BY USING DRUGS. ITS SAD AND SHES DISSAPOINTED BUT IF SHE TRULY LOVES ME SHE'LL WAIT FOR ME AS THE MAN I WILL BECOME.

 

[Phyzzle]

DO YOU ANSWER HER CALLS?

You could, but make it brief. You're too busy getting your life in order, moving, working, making new friends. No time to chat with exes.

OF COURSE IF SHES JEALOUS SHE MAY COME BACK AS WELL.

Bingo. Date around. You guys are broke up right? If you DON'T date other chicks, you'll look clingy. I mean, she's probably dating other guys . . . that is what people do when they break up, right?

 

[Phyzzle]

You need to work on yourself until your totally ready to move on and let go of her . . . then you might have a chance of getting her back.

 

[pooparu]

Well first, what drug are you actually on, that would help alot.

Second, you did break her trust by going back to drugs when you said you wouldn't (Quite personally in moderation I think most drugs are relatively safe and can be useful. Not the heavy ones, ones like LSD, Weed, Ecstacy, Shrooms. But if you are on something like crack, heroin, DXM, etc, then you might need help), so you should have iether told her that you weren't ready to stop cold turkey and that you wanted to slow it down first, or you shouldn't have promised anything at all.

Best thing now man is to just improve your life, take out any addictive drugs (and TBH i know this sounds like counter intuitive advice, but maybe try to go to something soft like weed to stop those cravings for things like crack and heroin, I've known of reports that some said it did help them quit), and try to live your life the best you can, that's all you can do, you only control yourself.

It's finally good to see a half decent thread in GD by the way, so good post.

Edit:

Actually where you are from I believe crystal meth is more popular down there right? If that's what you are on man definetly get away from that and that PCP, Ketamine, in fact get away from basically all synthetic or opiates, those are the most dangerous to the body. You ever notice how things like Marijuana and Mushrooms have very little effect on the body when cooked with things like tea, etc, but all the MAN MADE drugs have a problem? It's a hint man, get away from those ****s, they aren't natural. If you hvae to get your fix do it on something NATURAL, don't kill yourself AND hurt your girl.

Oh and go to erowid.org

that's going to start you on your path to help.

Edit 2:

If you want as well man, you can PM me or whatever, cuz I'm decently experienced (at least for my age) in this matters. I've got a relative on crack and I know a few people like that, so I'm not out to judge man, I know the nature of addiction, I've even had a small one to cigarettes (thank God I stopped before I really started), but I know the addiction to harder drugs is ALOT huger.

 

[virtual_insanity]

THANKS BRO...I KNOW ITS A WEAK EXCUSE BUT SINCE THIS HAPPENED IVE SAVED MYSELF FROM TURNING HER DECISION INTO A DISASTER BY DISTRACTING MY REACTIONS AND FEELINGS BY USING DRUGS. ITS SAD AND SHES DISSAPOINTED BUT IF SHE TRULY LOVES ME SHE'LL WAIT FOR ME AS THE MAN I WILL BECOME.

men don't use drugs to escape their problems, you become a man by facing your problems

 

[TESV]

Well first, what drug are you actually on, that would help alot.

Second, you did break her trust by going back to drugs when you said you wouldn't (Quite personally in moderation I think most drugs are relatively safe and can be useful. Not the heavy ones, ones like LSD, Weed, Ecstacy, Shrooms. But if you are on something like crack, heroin, DXM, etc, then you might need help), so you should have iether told her that you weren't ready to stop cold turkey and that you wanted to slow it down first, or you shouldn't have promised anything at all.

Best thing now man is to just improve your life, take out any addictive drugs (and TBH i know this sounds like counter intuitive advice, but maybe try to go to something soft like weed to stop those cravings for things like crack and heroin, I've known of reports that some said it did help them quit), and try to live your life the best you can, that's all you can do, you only control yourself.

It's finally good to see a half decent thread in GD by the way, so good post.

Edit:

Actually where you are from I believe crystal meth is more popular down there right? If that's what you are on man definetly get away from that and that PCP, Ketamine, in fact get away from basically all synthetic or opiates, those are the most dangerous to the body. You ever notice how things like Marijuana and Mushrooms have very little effect on the body when cooked with things like tea, etc, but all the MAN MADE drugs have a problem? It's a hint man, get away from those ****s, they aren't natural. If you hvae to get your fix do it on something NATURAL, don't kill yourself AND hurt your girl.

Oh and go to erowid.org

that's going to start you on your path to help.

Edit 2:

If you want as well man, you can PM me or whatever, cuz I'm decently experienced (at least for my age) in this matters. I've got a relative on crack and I know a few people like that, so I'm not out to judge man, I know the nature of addiction, I've even had a small one to cigarettes (thank God I stopped before I really started), but I know the addiction to harder drugs is ALOT huger.

Drug of Choice Oxycontin with Cocaine falling in second place. Ive been completely honest since the breakup and i stopped using yesterday...i promised her last night that i wouldnt do it again but after she wouldnt make love to me i couldnt handle it and we both left my house. she called me a afew times starting a few minutes after she left until she got home and went to bed and i didnt answer. Then she played the game back today and didnt answer my calls until 3:30pm today. The conversation ended with her going out with her GF's tonight and her letting me know she may call me later but most likely tomororow. No more of this bull****...i deserve better from the girl who once dropped her droors and came minutes before i undressed. I need the once mezmorized by my presence italian gem to come back to me for good. Otherwise i shouldnt taint the once gorgeous memories of our life together with the oppressive behavior that she portrays on a daily basis. Life is never fair but all we have is hope. Hope will keep me dreaming of the once fairytail life we shared and hope may turn those once dreams into reality. thank you for your kind advice,
Tommy

 

[MightyMate]

She doesnt want You. Next.

 

[Desdinova]

She feels worthless and has a lack of confidence in her life and doesnt want to drag me down.

Ah, I've heard this one before. It usually goes along with "You're too good for me".

But make your comments after reading her love for me at the end.

Do I really have to read it? (sigh)

She agreed to have sex with me after a drug test.

Love myth #53: Love is not stronger than anything

Guys, what do i do?

Wish yourself better luck next time. Oh yeah, and quit the goddam drugs.

I HONESTLY CANT LOOK AT ANOTHER WOMAN

That's actually a good thing at this point. Without a woman in your life, you can focus on fixing yourself up. You've got some work to do on yourself, and the less interruptions, the better.

I KNOW ITS A WEAK EXCUSE BUT SINCE THIS HAPPENED IVE SAVED MYSELF FROM TURNING HER DECISION INTO A DISASTER BY DISTRACTING MY REACTIONS AND FEELINGS BY USING DRUGS.

I'm going to tell you that my ex leaving me was one of the BEST things that ever happened to me. I found this site, got my self-esteem back up (her low self-esteem was dragging mine down with her), fixed up my confidence, dated many beautiful women, and I'm now twice as successful as when she was with me (and I'm hoping to shoot higher than that!) I also realized I deserved a better woman than her, and I found quite a few of them!

Make her leaving the best thing that ever happened to you. Use all that time and energy you now have to becoming your BEST self.

Now go read the DJ Bible.

 

[pooparu]

Drug of Choice Oxycontin with Cocaine falling in second place. Ive been completely honest since the breakup and i stopped using yesterday...i promised her last night that i wouldnt do it again but after she wouldnt make love to me i couldnt handle it and we both left my house. she called me a afew times starting a few minutes after she left until she got home and went to bed and i didnt answer. Then she played the game back today and didnt answer my calls until 3:30pm today. The conversation ended with her going out with her GF's tonight and her letting me know she may call me later but most likely tomororow. No more of this bull****...i deserve better from the girl who once dropped her droors and came minutes before i undressed. I need the once mezmorized by my presence italian gem to come back to me for good. Otherwise i shouldnt taint the once gorgeous memories of our life together with the oppressive behavior that she portrays on a daily basis. Life is never fair but all we have is hope. Hope will keep me dreaming of the once fairytail life we shared and hope may turn those once dreams into reality. thank you for your kind advice,
Tommy

You aren't going to like this, but you need to quit coke while you are young man. My aunt is on coke man, she hurts her daughter by leaving and not coming home at night. She hurts my grandmother, my mother, my aunts, family, friends, that care about her, all to go sniff a line.

I'm not gonna ****in judge you, but that **** is seriously not worth it. HELL MAN, there are other ****ing drugs that cost less, last longer, and are less destructive. Go for MDMA, go for anything besides COKE, HEROINE, METH, and all those other opiates and ****. They will only destroy you. Don't listen to your friends who are on drugs. I've got friends who come close to getting addicted like once a year (memorial day), and I'm always worried that they are going to do it outside of that day and get hooked, hope that they don't though.

Trust me man, just get off of them.