Break that ICE (Approach journal for Oct-Dec/07)

[Luke Skywalker]

stop analyzing you fool

you're ice has only grown frozen, definitely not broken

I'm not analyzing 'how and when' to do an approach, I'm trying to understand myself and get some insight into why I'm not making approaches, that's a bit of a difference so this is inner game.

The thing is, I'm going to be myself no matter where I am going, so may as well deal with inner game stuff right now.

This is based on something I heard from 'approach anxiety' and I'm applying what I listened to on there yesterday, so I'm making effective use of my time right here as opposed to wasting it doing nothing - if you are SO good with girls that you have to start giving sh1t advice like that, then please do not waste any more time giving advice to me since you wont be connecting with me. You cant just say 'stop analyzing' - if it's based on a recommendation of a trusted dating guru who is giving seminars that other people are paying money for and you come in here like some big-shot - why dont you go on the site and listen to the mp3 yourself - but of course, you are too good for that, you are smarter than all the dating gurus out there - and I'm just analyzing and that's the problem - please.

 

[Bible_Belt]

All guys who are not good with girls tend to be overly analytical. 'Less thought, more action' is usually good advice.

The thing is, I'm going to be myself no matter where I am going,

No, you're not. You're listening to self-improvement CDs and posting here on a 'how to get girls' forum. Is that "being yourself?"

And fwiw, Luke, never lose your cool in front of a girl like you do with the people on this forum sometimes (I am no saint about the losing of cool, btw, but I am getting better). Losing the calm/cool/collected mindset is a big turn-off to women.

Good luck with your approaches. I do want to see you succeed.

 

[The Inside Man]

Let's start shall we:

Today:

ICE1: Saw a girl with a cat. I said "nice cat" after I noticed I had some non-verbal rapport and she replied and said "thank-you" with a smile.

ICE2: Saw another girl with a dog with headphones. More complicated because she had headphones. After the dog passed me I talked to her and she took off her headphones. "Hey, what bread is that dog?", she replied "It's a (forgot-the-name-and-dont-care) dog". I replied, "Oh, interesting." and continued my merry way.

MOOD: I was in a bit of a good mood and didn't mind opening up strangers just for fun and didn't see this as a 'tax' or 'chore' so I had a bit of fun with it and it came sort of natural.
QUOTE]

Good work. Just keep doing this, its a great way to meet people and the basis for meeting girls. I havent read the rest of the post but its good to see the improvemement keep it up!

 

[Luke Skywalker]

And fwiw, Luke, never lose your cool in front of a girl like you do with the people on this forum sometimes (I am no saint about the losing of cool, btw, but I am getting better). Losing the calm/cool/collected mindset is a big turn-off to women.

I am not at a stage where I can lose my calm/cool/collected mind-set on this particular category of approaching. The problem, as you said, is that I'm analytical and too worried over embarassing the girl I'm approaching out of the blue and embarassing myself since it's out of my character. So, just even asking for time and directions is a quantum social stretch for me and I'm still working on it. The most risk-free easiest approaches are still like climbing mountains with me. I dont get it. Yet, I have no problem talking to women I know who work at my office. Dunno, maybe this whole cold approach thing doesn't jive with me for some reason, but I'm still trying.

I'm unsure of when to approach (i.e. from behind), often worried I'm stalking the girl, and just cant seem to break the shell - so to be sure - it's at a more advanced stage where I may 'act up'. I mean, can you go to a clothing store, just go up to the women out of nowhere and ask for directions, or time - she has GOT to know that was a premeditated move or something rather than a genuine and spontaneous enquiry. But - hey, I'm still working on THAT.

But that 'loosing cool thing' only happened once where I lost my cool with a girl and had a 'shoot first and ask questions later' attitude with her OVER ONE YEAR AGO - but so what, one isolated incident - I'm still here a year later and obviously wouldn't lose my cool like that again (I take it you read my post on that other thread - about the way women could make you feel to arrive at that conclusion too). But then again, if i'm too soft, then people walk all over me, have no respect and take advantage of me, so either way you lose, right? You have to stand firm, but without losing cool.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

From an idea leaked on the other thread - I'm going to pursue a new set of openers congruent with the Santa Clause outfit. Basically - there are two peac0cking costume concepts - dress like Santa or dress like an Elf in order to try and get attention out there with the dress patterns in public.

Basically the steps are going to go like this. First week, I'm going to find a Santa beard or check out what other Christmas costumes are out there.

Next step, go in a crowded place a few times, where there are lots of people, in particularly women, and just walk around to get used to feeling embarrassed in that outfit.

The benefit of this concept is that I'm not naturally humorous, but with an outfit like this, it would probably more then compensate for that and get women at ease when the approaches are being are done since I look the part already and just have to act it:

Finally, certain specific openers would be tried for fun - and they include the following....
1) I'm getting a list for the North Pole for presents, have you been good this year?
2) I'm lost, can you tell me the direction to the north pole, my compass is not working.
3) Have you started Christmas shopping already?


The most important part of this outfit is, I'm anonymous, and therefore, I'm not going to take rejection too personally because technically, I'm obviously acting and having some fun.

This platform will be in effect, right up to December 25th, and thus will challenge me -- goal is to open 70 people with this type of opener - the thing is, I think I'll be adding value by creating humour just by virtue of this whole set-up so it may be possible to create instant attraction this way - so, after practising this say with 20 people if it works well, I'm just going to go for number closes or whatever closes afterwards.

This could present a tremendous opportunity

 

[miba]

Dude, you ****ing suck. You fail, and you overthink things way to much, write too much, and its just a way of showing your fear. You consider asking Step a grocery store person a where a certain item is being "in the game"?!? Wtf is wrong with.

How you can improve your life:

Step 1) Move out of home
Step 2) Get off the ****ing internet.
Step 3) Get some friends. Seriously, you seem socially retarded.
Step 4) See a hot *****? Go up and say "Hey, what's you're name. You look familiar...blah blah"

 

[Bible_Belt]

Luke, before you get pissy, miba is right, and he is just trying to help. Don't confuse tough love with anything personal.

You've seen or read Fight Club, right? I'd love to have someone pick a fight with you....and lose. You need some confidence that stems from something other than talking to strangers.

I have two ideas:

#1 - Enroll in some form of martial arts training, boxing, grappling, or some sort of fighting sport. There is a lot of confidence that comes from knowing you can kick the ass of most random people.

#2 - Buy a motorcycle. Mommy is going to love that idea. This will get you to take a stand with your mother, and bikes are great for girls. I have gotten laid several times almost entirely just because the girl was into motorcycles or at least the image they represent. With Christmas coming, there will be used motorcycles to be had very cheaply as guys sell them to buy presents for their kids and because it is not bike season. You'd be surprised how a $1,500 motorcycle can change your life.

I would put the chances of you not taking either of these suggestions at about 99.8%

 

[Luke Skywalker]

I don't know, Bible_Belt, I guess I'm just not that way and cant connect with that line of advice. I'm a professional and honestly have no interest whatsoever in these suggestions.

Good advice or concepts to me is defined as anything that will excite me enought to see hope in my situation and therefore inspire action towards a particular goal. Sometimes, that's the purpose I'm on here is to see if I can connect with any particular thread on the don juan tips section, or anywhere else that has a concept that inspires action.

What appears to be happening is people have a tendency to talk me out of anything that's inspiring me to do something, and if they succeed, then I would just do NOTHING, their advice is too much and just goes out the other ear and anything I planned to do has been already mentally defeated as I am too discouraged to act.

A concept that's incongruent with my whole psychological make-up and interest is not a concept that is going to work. You know the conditions here at home - my mom calls the shots and I'm not even supporting myself, and basically this makes me into a mamma's boy girlie guy type and I have a bit of a fvcked up childhood being bullied and what not.

However, I'm going to deal with your suggestions:

First of all, I'm not into fighting, people can just take out a gun and shoot you in the head if you mess with the wrong person, and you dont know who is carrying a gun nowadays, so there is no guarantee even with the best fighting skills that you are entering into a fair fight. A weak guy with a gun is more powerful than a strong guy - the weak guy just has to have a good shot and blow the strong guy's head off, right? Anyone could have a gun so what does fighting prove?

Secondly, I haven't the slightest interest in motocycles. I'm may have flown an airplane (next to my flight instructor), but motorcycles just have no interest with me.

 

[Nighthawk]

Luke I've slammed you many times. But making little chats with strangers is exactly what you need to do. Forget the Santa thing, you're not ready and it's a weird idea. But try and make conversation with several strangers a day, don't worry about it going anywhere. Good work.

 

[miba]

God, this Luke Skywalker guy is dumb. He didnt mean "Start fighting with random people", he meant learn HOW TO FIGHT. Karate, martial arts, watever.

It improves your health and gives you confidence. You don't have to USE it.

Also, get off the ****ing internet. The more you type, the more time that can't be spent getting chicks. Your excessive analysises and lengthy plans show your fear, and its an excuse instead of going out there and going something.

btw. Has anyone got any pics of this guy? He must be the ugliest guy in the world, or the worlds biggest *****.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Luke I've slammed you many times. But making little chats with strangers is exactly what you need to do. Forget the Santa thing, you're not ready and it's a weird idea. But try and make conversation with several strangers a day, don't worry about it going anywhere. Good work.

It's called 'Peac0cking', and if it's effective, then it will be easier opening up people because it would provide an escape from being transparent me and role-playing someone else - anyway, I haven't tried it yet, but know that peac0cking can be helpful for inner game.

 

[miba]

No body else requires stupid little hats and beards to pick up chicks. Youre just a wuss.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

btw. Has anyone got any pics of this guy? He must be the ugliest guy in the world, or the worlds biggest *****.

Is the best you can do here is make cheap shots like that? Boy - you must really be a busy guy.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Luke, before you get pissy, miba is right, and he is just trying to help. Don't confuse tough love with anything personal.

You've seen or read Fight Club, right? I'd love to have someone pick a fight with you....and lose. You need some confidence that stems from something other than talking to strangers.

I have two ideas:

#1 - Enroll in some form of martial arts training, boxing, grappling, or some sort of fighting sport. There is a lot of confidence that comes from knowing you can kick the ass of most random people.

#2 - Buy a motorcycle. Mommy is going to love that idea. This will get you to take a stand with your mother, and bikes are great for girls. I have gotten laid several times almost entirely just because the girl was into motorcycles or at least the image they represent. With Christmas coming, there will be used motorcycles to be had very cheaply as guys sell them to buy presents for their kids and because it is not bike season. You'd be surprised how a $1,500 motorcycle can change your life.

I would put the chances of you not taking either of these suggestions at about 99.8%

Actually - on second thought -- my physical improvement agenda is as follows:

1) Lose weight. To do this, I joined Herbal Magic and so far have lost 14 lbs and need to lose another 24 lbs. The weight management agenda has been in effect since January but I kept gaining weight no matter what I did - now it's succesfully being lost since I am with Herbal Magic since a few weeks ago. worth the extra dollars in management and one-to-one assistance.

2) Build muscle and strength. Once the weight loss is completed, additional weight less than the target will be converted to lean muscle mass - intend to convert an additional 20 lbs that way.

3) Once I'm bulilt up and ripped, then, and only then I will consider the idea of any sort of co-ordinated self-defense or offense movements.

 

[saber]

luke even though you annoy me im glad to see that you are making progress

I didn't read all this stuff because its a LOT of fluff for just a few approaches

I was gonna write out some excellent advice but I know it would go to waste so instead her it is

see a physciatrist

or psychologist

you probably need counseling or hormone replacement therapy

 

[Luke Skywalker]

luke even though you annoy me im glad to see that you are making progress

I didn't read all this stuff because its a LOT of fluff for just a few approaches

I was gonna write out some excellent advice but I know it would go to waste so instead her it is

see a physciatrist

or psychologist

you probably need counseling or hormone replacement therapy

Oh here is yet another idiot that wants to look good by going Luke bashing.

When you make progress all the crabs show themselves - when people say I'm not following advice on here - it's because most people who give it are losers.

 

[saber]

i may be an idiot but i have a good job and have sex with girls so i guess im fine with that

im giving you the same advice I would give to anyone in your situation try not to take it so personal but rather as an indication of your situation

 

[Luke Skywalker]

i may be an idiot but i have a good job and have sex with girls so i guess im fine with that

im giving you the same advice I would give to anyone in your situation try not to take it so personal but rather as an indication of your situation

No I think you were rubbing it in. I'm just saying, you have to be pretty pathetic to get off on crap like that -- tell me, do you go to homeless people with a wad of cash and flash it at them and laugh so you feel more secure about yourself?

 

[Mad Manic]

Actually - on second thought -- my physical improvement agenda is as follows:

1) Lose weight. To do this, I joined Herbal Magic and so far have lost 14 lbs and need to lose another 24 lbs. The weight management agenda has been in effect since January but I kept gaining weight no matter what I did - now it's succesfully being lost since I am with Herbal Magic since a few weeks ago. worth the extra dollars in management and one-to-one assistance.

2) Build muscle and strength. Once the weight loss is completed, additional weight less than the target will be converted to lean muscle mass - intend to convert an additional 20 lbs that way.

3) Once I'm bulilt up and ripped, then, and only then I will consider the idea of any sort of co-ordinated self-defense or offense movements.

From being overweight with no muscle, to be being built and ripped, it will take you at least 2 1/2 years IMO.

MM

 

[Luke Skywalker]

From being overweight with no muscle, to be being built and ripped, it will take you at least 2 1/2 years IMO.

MM

It's 2 1/2 years in the right direction. I'm almost half way there with my weight loss goals, about a couple of months and I'll be at my target weight goal, and possibly sooner - maybe shorter than your estimate.