Bracketing you as a lover not as a provider?

[pikachu69]

Is there a full proof plan to get HB 's to see you as a lover not a provider?

If I start offering to take them to cinema or action dates or dating in general it leads to being bracketed as potential bf or provider.. i just want to get laid, if i focus solely on alcohol dates and try to fvck her from the outset is that the best way to go about it?

in the past i have always been bracketed as a provider i guess my nice guy image and taking them to cinema dinner etc puts me in that provider category but also does that critical question where she asks 'what do you do?' decides which category she potentially puts you in? if i say scuba diver, dj or something non income based may get me better odds of not being a provider. if i say financial, business, anything like that lightbulb goes off in their heads and im now a provider. doesn't mean i dont get laid just, i want it to be about me being a lover and lover only, no provision, no soppy dates no leading on for a relationship.

right now i am odds how to ask out this HB, good first date but normally i would offer to go cinema next or drinks again.. i want to just suggest i bring a bottle of wine over and f her brains out.

 

[Aware]

'what do you do?'

Do you realize you don't have to answer logically to this question? For example if you tell her with correct frame that you are an alien space traveller and you are just passing by, it will make her laugh and has much better effect than simply stating a fact, even though you may have a prestigious job.

This accomplishes few things:
1. C&F.
2. Helps you avoid beta bucks frame, especially gold diggers.
3. Allows you to demonstrate much higher value, if you really have a prestigious job. This goes back to 4th and 21th laws of power - downplaying your qualities to make them appear much greater later on.
4. You don't sound like you are bragging.

 

[Konada]

Kino. Be sexual from the get go or get ljbf-ed.

 

[Zarky]

Just let it be known through words and actions that you're looking for a good time and not a wife. The chicks who are looking for Mr. Right will turn away, but the ones who are looking for a good time will hop into your lap. Say it nicely and not in a crude manner and you'll be fine.

If you're taking chicks to movies and restaurants when you really just want to bang 'em... well.. that's not being true to yourself is it?

The only trick with this is you have to be a guy they actually want to f*ck. You gotta be charming, sexy, fun and let them know in a tactful way that you can please them in the sack. Being good-looking helps as well but mostly it's about being sexy and alluring. For men, that's largely about personality and confidence. You gotta sell them on great sex because it's all you're really offering.

You let women know what you're offering right away, whether intentionally or not. If you spend money on them, they think you're offering money. If you take them out repeatedly, they think you're offering them good times on the town. Etc. Women know what you (and all men) are looking for: sex.

So when you spend money on them and take them out all the time, you're basically communicating a specific trade. You're saying, "I realize that sex with me is not a good enough trade for sex with you, so I'm going to offer my money/time/commitment/whatever in exchange for your willing body."

Your goal is to communicate to them that sex with you is excellent enough that it's all you really have to offer. Then hopefully you can back that up when the time comes or that girl is going to tell every other girl that they should demand more

 

[LMFAO]

Avoid talking about your job or her job, and if she asks use as few words as possible to describe it and don't mention any assets you have or anything else. Be sexual, charming and mysterious. Talk about you and her.

 

[pikachu69]

Just let it be known through words and actions that you're looking for a good time and not a wife. The chicks who are looking for Mr. Right will turn away, but the ones who are looking for a good time will hop into your lap. Say it nicely and not in a crude manner and you'll be fine.

If you're taking chicks to movies and restaurants when you really just want to bang 'em... well.. that's not being true to yourself is it?

The only trick with this is you have to be a guy they actually want to f*ck. You gotta be charming, sexy, fun and let them know in a tactful way that you can please them in the sack. Being good-looking helps as well but mostly it's about being sexy and alluring. For men, that's largely about personality and confidence. You gotta sell them on great sex because it's all you're really offering.

You let women know what you're offering right away, whether intentionally or not. If you spend money on them, they think you're offering money. If you take them out repeatedly, they think you're offering them good times on the town. Etc. Women know what you (and all men) are looking for: sex.

So when you spend money on them and take them out all the time, you're basically communicating a specific trade. You're saying, "I realize that sex with me is not a good enough trade for sex with you, so I'm going to offer my money/time/commitment/whatever in exchange for your willing body."

Your goal is to communicate to them that sex with you is excellent enough that it's all you really have to offer. Then hopefully you can back that up when the time comes or that girl is going to tell every other girl that they should demand more

this is great advice thanks. what if it's a high maintenance type of chick who expects to go to nice places all the time and won't agree to a date somewhere dingy or cheap like coffee?

i mean i understand where you're coming from if you're charming and alluring it'll bypass the provider stuff but also if you're good looking it helps.. i'm ok looking with ok beginner game.. but i do lack a bit of confidence sometimes which leads to inconsistencies in my behavior ie congruency.. i guess nerves are to blame.. so sometimes i'm spectacularly charming and other times i'm useless social leper.

with a high maintenance chick once i've met her once at a nice bar, is that it?

like in my other thread where i'm getting slayed for my mistake prior to that i suggested i bring a bottle over.. and she declined saying she didn't like sex and i was wasting my time ie not an easy lay.

i made it clear im not a provider as in that im not wealthy like the guys she normally goes out with so basically she's with me cos i make her feel good.. but that's dangerous territory cos i could justbe friend zoned with the same effect. i was sexual, my plan was to be further sexual escalation next time all be it may require another drink at a nice expensive bar near where she lives.. she's a pain in the arse.. so fussy about everything refuses to go anywhere else, asks to sit elsewhere when we're there.. she's a self admitted pain in the arse so at least she's honest about it.

 

[Nn877]

Imply that you are seeing other women.

Exactly

 

[Zarky]

this is great advice thanks. what if it's a high maintenance type of chick who expects to go to nice places all the time and won't agree to a date somewhere dingy or cheap like coffee?

Then you find other women. You're looking at it wrong. Read this:

http://matingmarket.wordpress.com/2012/04/11/man-on-man-vs-zone-defense-dating-strategies/

 

[pikachu69]

Then you find other women. You're looking at it wrong. Read this:

http://matingmarket.wordpress.com/2012/04/11/man-on-man-vs-zone-defense-dating-strategies/

I see. I read the article it is relevant. However if my mission is to bang this high maintenance one even if it's not possible and conducive to applying the 2 strikes rule ie 2 flakes and she is out I guess this doesn't apply and I shouldn't mark the man and just focus on the zone and if she comes back into the zone so be it and if she doesn't dont follow thr man.

Makes sense. So really if she comes back (ie I don't contact her) then plsy my zone.

Is it not also valid if you don't try to initiate contact again she'll think you were just after an easy lay OR or is that incorrect thinking and that if she is remotely interested despite thr 100s of guys she has after her by you disappearing she'll seek you out? Assuming she is sti interested of course.

Another analogy would be that if you don't mark your man and your man is an influential match winner they go to another part of the field and score and you lose?

 

[RangerMIke]

Good advice:

(1) Put out a sexual vibe right from the start. You know you've done this right when she thinks that all you are looking for is fun and sex.

(2) Don't spend a lot of money on her early on. Take her on low cost dates (happy hour drinks, museums, et. al.)

(3) Never brag about yourself or your resources. Be mysterious, let her dig to get information on you. Not only does this minimize you has a 'provider' but it also builds attraction in her since she has to work to get information, and creates investment. I know some guys that will lie about their resources and what they do for a living. I think long term it's a bad idea to lie. I think it's better to just let her think you are frugal by not tossing a lot of money around.

Women love to work to find out about you. They really do... it's part of her fun. Do not be free with information about yourself, make her work for it. When she asks you about details, twist your answer so that you answer her questions emotionally. For example: If she asks you what you do for a living tell her an interesting funny story about how you ended up where you are. The key is talk to her emotionally not logically.

Attraction is emotional, not logical. If you come of as logical she will see you as a provider.