BPD's can control their behavior…they choose not to

[StonesDK]

My ex was very slick in the beginning. She played the 'I have broken wings from previous marriage of 18 years' real good. Her ex was a typical Narc who abused her, which now explains why it lasted 18 years. Her story was meant to elicit me to be a perfect boyfriend to her and treat her like a princess. Whatever I could do to show I was different made her happy and euphoric. That's how she reeled me in. She even said thank you, after the first BJ she gave me. I thought I had found a perfect girl lol. I realize now sex was a form of control. Extremely giving and always available. It was the only thing she could give.

Had I not broken up, I would have been replaced while in a relationship with her, sooner or later. The only thing that kept her in check was me having one foot out the door if she gave me crap. Hence the 15 plus recycles over 2 1/2 years

Yeah she knew what she was doing

 

[noBSgames]

Mine didn't like the word NO she heard it a lot, I did stand up to her, the fights we had were intense, she was the one that instigated them, they happened out of nowhere, things were going along smoothly, bam she picks a fight with me, the drama with her was constant.

After awhile she would get mad if I chuckled because I knew she was about to start complaining and she took that as me making fun of her or her accent. (she's Latina)

 

[exhausted]

My ex was very slick in the beginning. She played the 'I have broken wings from previous marriage of 18 years' real good. Her ex was a typical Narc who abused her, which now explains why it lasted 18 years. Her story was meant to elicit me to be a perfect boyfriend to her and treat her like a princess. Whatever I could do to show I was different made her happy and euphoric. That's how she reeled me in. She even said thank you, after the first BJ she gave me. I thought I had found a perfect girl lol. I realize now sex was a form of control. Extremely giving and always available. It was the only thing she could give.

Had I not broken up, I would have been replaced while in a relationship with her, sooner or later. The only thing that kept her in check was me having one foot out the door if she gave me crap. Hence the 15 plus recycles over 2 1/2 years

Yeah she knew what she was doing

Mine sincerely wanted to be married to me and have kids.

I told her i can't ask u to marry me when you break things off every month or two.

And i wont have kids with someone who is screaming at me, over NOTHING.

U catch me flirting with girls or sneaking around scream away. I didnt eat ice cream with u and your kid because im lactose intolerant and u scream or flip out, YOU are insane.

How do these girls not know they are fucjing nuts.

 

[noBSgames]

Mine sincerely wanted to be married to me and have kids.

I told her i can't ask u to marry me when you break things off every month or two.

And i wont have kids with someone who is screaming at me, over NOTHING.

U catch me flirting with girls or sneaking around scream away. I didnt eat ice cream with u and your kid because im lactose intolerant and u scream or flip out, YOU are insane.

How do these girls not know they are fucjing nuts.

damn I feel we are talking about the same girl wow.. she wanted me to get married with her right away and when I was like I like to wait shes like oh I've had some friends they got married after 5-6 months.. always asking how many kids I wanted I told her I wanted 2 she wanted much more. She would always bring it up at random times. and would always ask me why I wanted to wait.. Everyone is saying I dodged a bullet with her

 

[StonesDK]

Marriage suggestions is common with these types. My ex suggested it too several times. I knew it was tied to her abandonment fear and the image she wanted to project to the world. Not because she had found the love of her life

 

[exhausted]

damn I feel we are talking about the same girl wow.. she wanted me to get married with her right away and when I was like I like to wait shes like oh I've had some friends they got married after 5-6 months.. always asking how many kids I wanted I told her I wanted 2 she wanted much more. She would always bring it up at random times. and would always ask me why I wanted to wait.. Everyone is saying I dodged a bullet with her

Yep. The torture we endure knowing we love a woman whonis damaged, will never get better and can not have.

 

[051AV]

I was mad the ex went to a guy I knew, later I've discovered the guy is an NPD the guy is really abusive to women he thinks he's gods gift to women even thou he's not attractive. Now that he's been with my ex he's aged he's fat there is no hope in hell of him ever finding a woman. When she latched on to him she was really good looking she's lost some of her looks she's gotten a little chunky and aged. She thought I was weak but I'm not I had a lot of things going on at work I was stressed at work. She started trying to controlling me she kept pushing I pushed back she couldn't get away with her BS with me. The fights we had she would get mad and emotional saying why I'm I such a douche and hurting her feelings claiming I didn't realize I was hurting her. She really did act like a child at times it felt like I was dealing with a child not a 30 year old woman.

The guy she is with tries so hard to please her she still wasn't happy, at the time it felt like she wanted me back I wasn't welcoming her back with open arms. I couldn't take her jealousy I would have women come up and talk to me it would make her angry it was okay for her to flirt with guys in front of me. It was always a one way street with her she wanted what she wanted but it wasn't okay for anybody else to get what they wanted.

She was truly the hardest woman in my life to contend with, her meds didn't help things either. Things started happening so fast when things got ugly between us she was making my life hard at work as we worked together. She was gathering up so much stuff to try use against me I had knife marks in my back she wanted me to hurt. At the time I was happy things were slowly changing in my life she couldn't stand it she wasn't happy so I couldn't be. Today I'm recovered I put all the pieces of the puzzle together got the answers to explain what in the hell happened. She caused so much chaos in my life I guess she wanted my life to be a train wreck like hers. She's gone and good riddance I'm her to help people avoid the same BS I went through. The girl you are involved with has any issues with their mother or father run like hell don't get involved with her. Getting involved with a BPD will take years out of your life.

 

[Billtx49]

Cluster B's all share similar traits. The lower functioning ones are easier to spot if you know what to look for. The higher functioning ones are very subtle with their routine, and easily suck a man in, but they all operate the same way.
Bottom line, the end result is identical for the men they encounter, and the degree of damage they can do depends on their functioning level.

 

[noBSgames]

Man i'm telling you reading all this makes me feel better knowing I was not the only one they seem to all follow the same set patterns.. mine got mad because I changed my shift.. I work for a rather well known shipping company (big brown) so she's going to argue with me on the phone why I did not tell her I was changing my shift.. to be frank it was none of her consern.. I've been at the company for 10 years and she expects me not to take the full time job offer only because she claimed she made a "sacrifice" for me to have Monday's off but yet she did not care if I was going to lose $400 a week dropping to P/T..

About female contact.. oh boy you know where this is going.. I should of nipped it in the bud when she started with my facebook and people female friend's I've known for over 15+ years she got defensive on why they were leaving comments on a picture.. trying to explain that I've known them far longer then you all I get from her is a (hmmmm....) it happened about two more times before I said you knock it off or it will be the end. She got mad like a little kid unfriended me then later added me again..meanwhile that automatically kicks your relationship status off so it kept going back and forth and it got annoying so I kept it hidden.

I remember driving out to the beach she wanted us to go to couple's therapy and this was before we even decided to be in a relationship.. you know I should of heeded the warning back when she kept saying to me she was afraid she was going to hurt me.. I'm embarrassed because I brought her around so many of my family and friends (to this day she claims she's still never met them) I'm not sure what I should tell them

right now she's going to school to be a nurse.. last I heard from her she was like I don't know how I'm going to pay for school they were like she owed like $1,500 or 2,000 and she did not have the money.. but having been down this road before she did not seem to be so concerned and it seemed like the typical I need money.. but she would remind be every now and then that's she's not a golddigger.. she's not but she tends to fish to see if you would offer.

 

[051AV]

Cluster B's all share similar traits. The lower functioning ones are easier to spot if you know what to look for. The higher functioning ones are very subtle with their routine, and easily suck a man in, but they all operate the same way.
Bottom line, the end result is identical for the men they encounter.

My ex was a high functioning BPD you couldn't tell she had issues until you started to get to know her, people as friends didn't know she has BPD its the people that she's really close to the ones she takes her mask off for that know she's troubled. You wouldn't know my ex has BPD as she's educated and smart she hides the fact she's a BPD very well. Only takes a month before her ugly side starts to show, once she's comfortable with you watch out.

 

[051AV]

Man i'm telling you reading all this makes me feel better knowing I was not the only one they seem to all follow the same set patterns.. mine got mad because I changed my shift.. I work for a rather well known shipping company (big brown) so she's going to argue with me on the phone why I did not tell her I was changing my shift.. to be frank it was none of her consern.. I've been at the company for 10 years and she expects me not to take the full time job offer only because she claimed she made a "sacrifice" for me to have Monday's off but yet she did not care if I was going to lose $400 a week dropping to P/T..

About female contact.. oh boy you know where this is going.. I should of nipped it in the bud when she started with my facebook and people female friend's I've known for over 15+ years she got defensive on why they were leaving comments on a picture.. trying to explain that I've known them far longer then you all I get from her is a (hmmmm....) it happened about two more times before I said you knock it off or it will be the end. She got mad like a little kid unfriended me then later added me again..meanwhile that automatically kicks your relationship status off so it kept going back and forth and it got annoying so I kept it hidden.

I remember driving out to the beach she wanted us to go to couple's therapy and this was before we even decided to be in a relationship.. you know I should of heeded the warning back when she kept saying to me she was afraid she was going to hurt me.. I'm embarrassed because I brought her around so many of my family and friends (to this day she claims she's still never met them) I'm not sure what I should tell them

right now she's going to school to be a nurse.. last I heard from her she was like I don't know how I'm going to pay for school they were like she owed like $1,500 or 2,000 and she did not have the money.. but having been down this road before she did not seem to be so concerned and it seemed like the typical I need money.. but she would remind be every now and then that's she's not a golddigger.. she's not but she tends to fish to see if you would offer.

I was close to my boss at the time while I was with my ex, my ex hated the fact I was close to my boss as my boss was an attractive woman. My ex uses her current BF for money one day she said to me I'm only using him for money, wow, no love there even thou she "claims" to love him but everything was what she could get out of him. The push pull with the ex drove me nuts I like you I hate you I never knew where I stood with her, she would get mad and not talk to me for awhile then come back. She hated it when I tried to control the relationship it would p*ss her off. The guy she is with would kiss the ground she walked on anything she wanted she got but then he complained she wanted him to do things and he didn't want to do them. He wouldn't ever say no to her when I said no I meant no that's the final answer. I found she was really submissive with me later on when things got ugly she claimed I was really intimidating and I scared her. A relationship with a BPD is a real rollercoaster ride its up and down whips you all over the place. As I've said before it was like dealing with a child she was 30 years old but she sure didn't act like one at times. She would pout if she didn't get her way or with me she would lash out in anger.

 

[noBSgames]

My ex was a high functioning BPD you couldn't tell she had issues until you started to get to know her, people as friends didn't know she has BPD its the people that she's really close to the ones she takes her mask off for that know she's troubled. You wouldn't know my ex has BPD as she's educated and smart she hides the fact she's a BPD very well. Only takes a month before her ugly side starts to show, once she's comfortable with you watch out.

my ex her friends did not help out anything with how she acted like they saw no wrong is cheating and so on and they never saw the real her.. I remember I started recording calls because she would swear she never remembered saying something.. so after she found out (by snooping again) that I was recording she would always ask when talking on the phone are you recording me? And her hearing herself talk she was like do I really sound like that? I just stood silent.

 

[noBSgames]

I was close to my boss at the time while I was with my ex, my ex hated the fact I was close to my boss as my boss was an attractive woman. My ex uses her current BF for money one day she said to me I'm only using him for money, wow, no love there even thou she "claims" to love him but everything was what she could get out of him. The push pull with the ex drove me nuts I like you I hate you I never knew where I stood with her, she would get mad and not talk to me for awhile then come back. She hated it when I tried to control the relationship it would p*ss her off. The guy she is with would kiss the ground she walked on anything she wanted she got but then he complained she wanted him to do things and he didn't want to do them. He wouldn't ever say no to her when I said no I meant no that's the final answer. I found she was really submissive with me later on when things got ugly she claimed I was really intimidating and I scared her. A relationship with a BPD is a real rollercoaster ride its up and down whips you all over the place. As I've said before it was like dealing with a child she was 30 years old but she sure didn't act like one at times. She would pout if she didn't get her way or with me she would lash out in anger.

Same here with the push-pull she would get mad if I did not say something she liked and she would hang up on me.. and she would expect me to call back.. so I don't I go about what I was doing and she would again call back pissed because I never called back.. ugh draining.. the texts would be like "Oh I see how much you care" "Or I should not expect much of anything from you" And then when I put my foot down she's like "OK babe" talk about WTF... all those times she said she was going to change I knew she never was.. more red flags should of been when her family was shocked I was still around... I mean when your family says that...

 

[Billtx49]

The push pull with the ex drove me nuts I like you I hate you I never knew where I stood with her,

A relationship with a BPD is a real rollercoaster ride its up and down whips you all over the place.

The classic Cluster B mind fvck in action. If tolerated long enough it will turn your personal life into total chaos as well…
They are women without a compass for direction and like a ship with no rudder influenced only by external events.

 

[051AV]

The classic Cluster B mind fvck in action. If tolerated long enough it will turn your personal life into total chaos as well…
They are women without a compass and like a ship with no rudder.

My life was total choas dealing with her plus I had work causing me choas as I took on responsibilities at work I wasn't getting paid for because management wasn't doing their job. Oh to top it off the ex didn't like the way I handled things at work saying I wasn't being professional. I'm rough and gruff I when I deal with people and situations. Stuff got done plain and simple but it wasn't up to her standards. She reported me numerous times trying to cause me grief.

 

[exhausted]

Cluster B's all share similar traits. The lower functioning ones are easier to spot if you know what to look for. The higher functioning ones are very subtle with their routine, and easily suck a man in, but they all operate the same way.
Bottom line, the end result is identical for the men they encounter, and the degree of damage they can do depends on their functioning level.

Unreal

Cluster B's all share similar traits. The lower functioning ones are easier to spot if you know what to look for. The higher functioning ones are very subtle with their routine, and easily suck a man in, but they all operate the same way.
Bottom line, the end result is identical for the men they encounter, and the degree of damage they can do depends on their functioning level.

I just dont understand how these cvnts can be so mean.
Seriously looking back at how mean and cruel she was with words i just cant believe it.

She didnt go to church. I have for 35 years.
When i told her no i wouldnt leave my church as she wanted me to go and find one with her she said "you wont leave your fvckjng mommy"
See my dad died 4 years ago and my son and i have always stood in church with my parents or family, same church why sit elsewhere? Most families do this.
So because my dad has passed she tried to shame me for staying in my church for my mom. In reality im staying for myself, my mom being there is additional.

What horrible person says this when in a conversation?????

Because she couldn't control me to leave my church and go to one of her choosing that her herself didnt even go to.

Unreal

 

[051AV]

my ex her friends did not help out anything with how she acted like they saw no wrong is cheating and so on and they never saw the real her.. I remember I started recording calls because she would swear she never remembered saying something.. so after she found out (by snooping again) that I was recording she would always ask when talking on the phone are you recording me? And her hearing herself talk she was like do I really sound like that? I just stood silent.

My ex claimed she had friends I only knew of one. She told me she hated the kids she went to school with as a child. She didn't make friends at work either I felt like a fireman putting out the fires. She didn't care if people hated her. She said to me how do you have so many friends and why do people like me so much.

 

[Billtx49]

Unreal

I just dont understand how these cvnts can be so mean.

Unconscious pain, hurt, anger, and hatred from their past that's still inside them that they have to let out. When they get comfortable with you, they do.

Mine was fvcked enough times as a teenager by her stepdad to get knocked up, and her mother blamed her for it…

I still do give her credit for being high functioning after that krap happening to her though.

 

[noBSgames]

Unreal

I just dont understand how these cvnts can be so mean.
Seriously looking back at how mean and cruel she was with words i just cant believe it.

She didnt go to church. I have for 35 years.
When i told her no i wouldnt leave my church as she wanted me to go and find one with her she said "you wont leave your fvckjng mommy"
See my dad died 4 years ago and my son and i have always stood in church with my parents or family, same church why sit elsewhere? Most families do this.
So because my dad has passed she tried to shame me for staying in my church for my mom. In reality im staying for myself, my mom being there is additional.

What horrible person says this when in a conversation?????

Because she couldn't control me to leave my church and go to one of her choosing that her herself didnt even go to.

Unreal

Wow mine it was like she did not know what church she wanted to go to.. she says her family is Mormon and Catholic it still seemed like she was confused.. she as well kept asking me what type of church do you want to get married under and who do you want to marry us.. talk about creepy..

I loved how one night I brought her over and my mom and us were all talking and she was already mad and she yelled out something about I think your son has a mental condition.. I wanted to laugh so loud.. me and my mom talked about it later and we both said we don't know what she's talking about but she fits the bill..

 

[exhausted]

Unconscious pain, hurt, anger, and hatred from their past that's still inside them that they have to let out. When they get comfortable with you, they do.

Mine was fvcked enough times as a teenager by her stepdad to get knocked up, and her mother blamed her for it…

I still do give her credit for being high functioning after that krap happening to her though.

God that's terrible.

I wonder what trauma mine endured.

All i learned is that she was raised a spoiled brat beyond reason