BPD story. I made it.

guru1000

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BPD or boundaries, BPD, boundaries, BPD, boundaries, BPD, boundaries. Doesn't take a lot to create 10 pages in this forum; just throw out the "B" word.

I have an idea: why not just set boundaries on your BPD and then create a thread about the experience. Now that would be interesting!
 

5string

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Mauser96 said:
In all fairness, you make it sound like he was BRAGGING it could be managed with medication...and this was not the case. Everytime he mentioned her medication, he would follow up with it "seems to be working and keeping her under control, but I am ever vigilant and ready to walk" type stuff too.


Those of you who scoff at the BPD stories better pull up a chair. Alot of men have committed suicide over these women, and how they destroy your sefl-esteem, self-confidence, create nervous breakdowsn. I can't wait to hear this story.
Thanks Mauser. You are correct. The medication did control it for a bit and things were good, but ultimately it failed. I knew in my heart it would.

You guys standby. I'm about to the end of the divorce. It's been nasty to say the least. I updated Mauser with a PM. He can fill you in. Just know I will be back on here with my complete story.

I am ok and moving forward. Thanks for the support fellas. More to follow soon.
 

The Duke

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good to hear 5string. Keep your head up.
 

The_411

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expos said:
What happens when you marry a BPD? Check out my 15 point summary!

1. Complained because I only made $55K per year (now I make $105K, suck it b!tch)

2. My engagement ring wasn't big enough, so we bought a new one, after the marriage. (I blame myself for being a *****)

3. Sex only 10-15 times during our entire 2 year 10 month marriage.

4. Went from 118 lbs to 170lbs at the 2 year mark.

5. Complained that our brand new, 2000 sq ft. home was "just a starter home".

6. Constantly insulted me, my family, my hobbies, cut off all of my friends.

7. Took trips to the Bahamas, California, St. Thomas, and St. John's during our 3-year relationship and still complained we never travelled enough.

8. Picked a fight with my dad and mom and brother after holiday dinner in which they just picked up the $275 tab.

9. Made fun of my then thin appearance, when she was a fat cow.

10. Popped strattera, lamictal, and zoloft like tic tacs and failed to tell me she suffered from major depression prior to us getting engaged.

11. Said "I wish I were dead" multiple times, and "this has been the worst 2 years of my life" to me one night while we were making dinner.

12. Not a single blow job after I proposed to her. No sex on our Anniversary, Birthdays, or Valentine's Day.

13. Had jerked off two guys in college, did anal, and was raped while drunk at a party her freshmen year. Also had revenge sex on two of her exes, meanwhile, she can't even kiss me on the mouth.

14. Drops 40lbs in a two month span and starts fvcking a co-worker during our separation - and rubs it in my face. Co-worker then attends her brother's wedding in my place 3 months later.

15. Married this co-worker a year or so after our divorce was finalized. (He might be a bigger chump than me!)

Thank god I used a condom and didn't knock up this psycho. This is the kind of sh!t you sign up for when you get into a relationship with one of these trainwrecks. Don't say I didn't warn you.
Yep sounds par for the course. The details are slightly different but the mechanisms are always the same.

Masters of push pull and manipulation. The effort doesn't matter the result does. Even when you get it right there's always something wrong.
 

The_411

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guru1000 said:
BPD or boundaries, BPD, boundaries, BPD, boundaries, BPD, boundaries. Doesn't take a lot to create 10 pages in this forum; just throw out the "B" word.

I have an idea: why not just set boundaries on your BPD and then create a thread about the experience. Now that would be interesting!
Can't set a boundary on crazy except to not engage or filter better up front.
 

expos

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expos said:
What happens when you marry a BPD? Check out my 15 point summary!

1. Complained because I only made $55K per year (now I make $105K, suck it b!tch)

2. My engagement ring wasn't big enough, so we bought a new one, after the marriage. (I blame myself for being a *****)

3. Sex only 10-15 times during our entire 2 year 10 month marriage.

4. Went from 118 lbs to 170lbs at the 2 year mark.

5. Complained that our brand new, 2000 sq ft. home was "just a starter home".

6. Constantly insulted me, my family, my hobbies, cut off all of my friends.

7. Took trips to the Bahamas, California, St. Thomas, and St. John's during our 3-year relationship and still complained we never travelled enough.

8. Picked a fight with my dad and mom and brother after holiday dinner in which they just picked up the $275 tab.

9. Made fun of my then thin appearance, when she was a fat cow.

10. Popped strattera, lamictal, and zoloft like tic tacs and failed to tell me she suffered from major depression prior to us getting engaged.

11. Said "I wish I were dead" multiple times, and "this has been the worst 2 years of my life" to me one night while we were making dinner.

12. Not a single blow job after I proposed to her. No sex on our Anniversary, Birthdays, or Valentine's Day.

13. Had jerked off two guys in college, did anal, and was raped while drunk at a party her freshmen year. Also had revenge sex on two of her exes, meanwhile, she can't even kiss me on the mouth.

14. Drops 40lbs in a two month span and starts fvcking a co-worker during our separation - and rubs it in my face. Co-worker then attends her brother's wedding in my place 3 months later.

15. Married this co-worker a year or so after our divorce was finalized. (He might be a bigger chump than me!)

Thank god I used a condom and didn't knock up this psycho. This is the kind of sh!t you sign up for when you get into a relationship with one of these trainwrecks. Don't say I didn't warn you.

This all happened about two years ago. Thank god this board got me through it and educated me on how toxic some women can be - BPD, Narcissistic, Cluster B, whatever - and how you should screen extensively before you become emotionally attached. These are things you know if you know the game, but will be blindsided if you don't.

When I think about her, I think about when she'll implode in her next relationship. Nothing is stable or real with these types. They can't keep the mask on long enough.
 

Infern0

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expos said:
This all happened about two years ago. Thank god this board got me through it and educated me on how toxic some women can be - BPD, Narcissistic, Cluster B, whatever - and how you should screen extensively before you become emotionally attached. These are things you know if you know the game, but will be blindsided if you don't.

When I think about her, I think about when she'll implode in her next relationship. Nothing is stable or real with these types. They can't keep the mask on long enough.
Same thing with mine, she just isn't capable of a relationship, I don't think it matters who it's with. She can't help herself from gas lighting, mind games, truangulating, causing drama and fights etc. All of this in between falling into deep depression where she lays in bed for days crying about how much she hates herself. She will destroy anything good she ever has. Par for the course.

I unfortunately got emotionally connected and spent about 2 months living in broken hell on earth that she dragged me into with her, I think that's what she feels like 100% of the time. Pretending she's OK for a while is about all she can manage. It's sad.
 

5string

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Mauser96 said:
5 String, where is the story dude!
I plan on posting in the next couple weeks when the divorce is final. Things are contentious and nasty right now. Just gotta get through it and tighten up the loose ends. I'm ok. It's coming to an end.
 

Dgwizdal

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5string said:
I plan on posting in the next couple weeks when the divorce is final. Things are contentious and nasty right now. Just gotta get through it and tighten up the loose ends. I'm ok. It's coming to an end.
Stay strong dude!
 

blind_one

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5string said:
I plan on posting in the next couple weeks when the divorce is final. Things are contentious and nasty right now. Just gotta get through it and tighten up the loose ends. I'm ok. It's coming to an end.
We've got your back bro.

You are back on track to greatness again.
 

Peña

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Glad you made it past that terrible experience and can move on with yourself. I know a guy still reeling 3 years after the ordeal and has made no progress. He is still afraid to get in a relationship fearing the same thing will happen. He made a miistake trying to go back with her again 1 month after. She did a big number on him that time and he is a shell of his former self. Really sad to see that happen to someone.
 

goodganji44

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Still waiting to hear the story.....
 

stovepipe

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Anyone ever hear from 5string? Hope he is ok
 

The Duke

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Let me see if I have his phone number. I often wonder about him.
 

stovepipe

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Let me see if I have his phone number. I often wonder about him.
Just wanted to make sure he is in fact ok. I know the affects a BPD can have on a man, especially after a divorce.
 

SadoMasochrist

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5string what is your take on what this guy is saying: https://www.reignitethefire.net/dating-girl-borderline-personality-disorder/

he thinks good BPD relationships are possible
The level of writing on this piece is really low level. Guy mostly does not understand what he's talking about. He understands at a cursory level, I would call this a "naive working hypothesis masquerading as enlightened knowledge." I'm far beyond what that guy is talking about and the answer is still "maybe, but probably not."

There are a handful of guys on this forum that understand much much more than the link you've provided.

As for 5string. If he's not posting, he's either in monk mode, jail from a false accusation, she killed him, or he killed himself. Let's all hope monk mode.

If a post doesn't mention

  • Fearful-avoidant
  • Triangulation
  • Lack of identity
They're still at BPD 101, maybe 201. These are the 3 issues that need to be solved, and they're not easy. For every "solution" it creates another issue.

Do you have kids with this woman?

If the answer is no, leave. If she doesn't live with you, NC. If she won't leave you alone, move.
 

wolf

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I am not a religious Man myself but I pray 5string is doing well. :(
 

stovepipe

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I am not a religious Man myself but I pray 5string is doing well. :(
Really hope he is ok. I'll pray for him. Just seems odd he never came back to post his story like he promised. And we all know the affect these BPD's can have on a mans mental health.
 
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