BPD GIRL CUT ME OFF / MET ANOTHER BPD / GENERAL SADNESS

[Infern0]

I suppose there's nothing I can really do until I'm back home in 5 days, until then I'm just going to try and avoid saying anything stupid or bothering her in any way as I know she's working all weekend anyway. I had a huge high whilst I was speaking to her, and felt amazing when I went to bed but I've hit almost a come down now.

Because it's an addiction.

I will bet dime to a dozen you had a corrosive attatchment to a primary caregiver. Thus creates an unseen addiction to validations.

You meet a borderline, get hooked and become addicted on their validation. All of this is subconscious btw.

So when you are in the good books you feel high as a kite, when in the bad books you hurt like hell. When they go NC is like going cold turkey on crack.

Beware the damage that can come of this because ive seen men lose EVERYTHING trying to hold onto these women.

I have already told you to go to a mental health professional. Do it now and get a headstart because you are going to end up there anyway. TRUST ME

 

[PokerL]

Because it's an addiction.

I will bet dime to a dozen you had a corrosive attatchment to a primary caregiver. Thus creates an unseen addiction to validations.

You meet a borderline, get hooked and become addicted on their validation. All of this is subconscious btw.

So when you are in the good books you feel high as a kite, when in the bad books you hurt like hell. When they go NC is like going cold turkey on crack.

Beware the damage that can come of this because ive seen men lose EVERYTHING trying to hold onto these women.

I have already told you to go to a mental health professional. Do it now and get a headstart because you are going to end up there anyway. TRUST ME

She said during the call she liked how addicted I was to her, that I'd taken such a huge interest in her disorder in the past etc but she thought it was cool how both times she's dissapeared for a few weeks I've made no serious effort to contact her which showed I could live without her. I brought up the fact that she was claiming to of had a great time when she last saw me, but at the time she had practically claimed I raped her. She didn't give much of a response just said something along the lines of " We were both drunk and silly that night, it wasn't your fault, i had fun" Said she missed talking to me as she felt I knew a side of her not many people did, and she'd rather as few people as possible saw that side. She also said she's been on anti depress tabs for about 2 weeks now.

Also I went to the doctors in the week, just waiting for a referal now man

 

[Infern0]

The thing is as people, her and I get on incredibly well. She also has this very childlike persona at times where she's curious about everything, giggly, shy etc just incredibly sweet. It's difficult to explain

Because borderlines have a stunted emotional development which doesnt progress much past 4 years old.

When they get angry you are dealing with someone with the emotional reasoning of a 4 year old throwing a tantrum

 

[soulforge]

Poker why do you even want to consider being with such an unstable character like this..

Self harming, suicidal.. Fuk knows how many other mental disorders this one has..

Come on man, you can do SO much better than this broken woman..

You need to break this addiction, and one day when you are free of her, you will look back and laugh at the fact that you let this bat chit crazy woman bring you down like this.

There are millions of women outhere dude, that will not bring this kind of chaos to your life..

Is this the best you want for your life? Is this drama, pain, emotional roller coaster really worth it?

You are dancing with the devil right now.. believe me, it will not end well

Walk away from this

 

[Infern0]

Poker why do you even want to consider being with such an unstable character like this..

Self harming, suicidal.. Fuk knows how many other mental disorders this one has..

Come on man, you can do SO much better than this broken woman..

You need to break this addiction, and one day when you are free of her, you will look back and laugh at the fact that you let this bat chit crazy woman bring you down like this.

There are millions of women outhere dude, that will not bring this kind of chaos to your life..

Is this the best you want for your life? Is this drama, pain, emotional roller coaster really worth it?

You are dancing with the devil right now.. believe me, it will not end well

Walk away from this

He isn't going to walk away so damage limitation is the best we can do for him

 

[PokerL]

I

He isn't going to walk away so damage limitation is the best we can do for him[/QUOTE

I will certainly do this, feeling frustrated today. After not speaking all day yesterday I decide to text her this morning, Just some crap about green olives because that was our thing and ask her how's she feeling etc. She just reads it and doesn't respond, also saw she'd make an Instagram post yesterday about cutting all the toxivity out of her life etc which is ironic when she's the most toxic human I know

 

[PokerL]

He isn't going to walk away so damage limitation is the best we can do for him

This is so upsetting, I tried to call her today but no answer I just have this awful pit feeling in my stomach she'll hurt herself or do something silly. Since speaking to her I've worried about non stop almost like a child, I sent a message first just mentioning some green olives I had (that was our thing) saying they remind me of her and asking how she is, she read it but no response then ab hour or so later I sent another messages expressing my worry for her saying I'd really just appreciate knowing she was alright but no response. God I hope she's ok, why blank me like this after getting back in contact ? I'll probably be blocked on everything again by this evening. God I hate my life

 

[stovepipe]

This is so upsetting, I tried to call her today but no answer I just have this awful pit feeling in my stomach she'll hurt herself or do something silly. Since speaking to her I've worried about non stop almost like a child, I sent a message first just mentioning some green olives I had (that was our thing) saying they remind me of her and asking how she is, she read it but no response then ab hour or so later I sent another messages expressing my worry for her saying I'd really just appreciate knowing she was alright but no response. God I hope she's ok, why blank me like this after getting back in contact ? I'll probably be blocked on everything again by this evening. God I hate my life

She's playing you like a piano. She planted the seed of self harm so you feel sorry for her, worry about her, want to be with her more than ever, makes you the white knight..aka "captain save a ho". The way you word these comments I can tell you're falling deeper and deeper into her toxic web. The more you allow her to spin that web around you, the harder its going to be to escape it. You are at a critical point. Either you leave now with minimal damage, or stay stuck to her web with death or long term mental/emotional trauma on the other end. The choice is in your hands. I'm definitely out of this thread now.


Good luck hermano....You're gonna need it!!!

 

[DreamAgain]

This is so upsetting, I tried to call her today but no answer I just have this awful pit feeling in my stomach she'll hurt herself or do something silly. Since speaking to her I've worried about non stop almost like a child, I sent a message first just mentioning some green olives I had (that was our thing) saying they remind me of her and asking how she is, she read it but no response then ab hour or so later I sent another messages expressing my worry for her saying I'd really just appreciate knowing she was alright but no response. God I hope she's ok, why blank me like this after getting back in contact ? I'll probably be blocked on everything again by this evening. God I hate my life

Man cut this woman off right now, listen to people here who have gone down this road.

Will it be painful? Yes. Endure it.

Little by little this poison will leave you, but you have to want to break free.

 

[PokerL]

I just dont get it, less than 2 days ago we talked for hours, she told me so much. we were talking about meeting up, today all texts / call ignored and the majority of the messages were just expressing genuine concern, as I am concerned. I thought by leaving things for a day and a half I wouldn't come across as needy or whatever but I guess that failed. She could of easily found 2 minutes to text me back, just to put my mind at ease so I could stop worrying. Don't worry guys, im sure by midnight when she finishes work I'll be blocked again, this is such a miserable joke.

I know i cant go on like this, the pain is too great. The 3 weeks not talking were miserable, then i spent all day yesterday / this morning resisting messaging / calling but once afternoon hit i thought **** it, we're cool surely. And I wanted to know she was doing ok, but no obviously thats unreasonable. I mean I've seen she's been active on fb numerous times. I spent hours the other night 90% listening to her problems / what she's been up to and she couldn't even reply with a simple "im ok" or something along those lines. WHAT AM I MEANT TO DO ? just forget about it ?

 

[RedScorpion]

I just dont get it, less than 2 days ago we talked for hours, she told me so much. we were talking about meeting up, today all texts / call ignored and the majority of the messages were just expressing genuine concern, as I am concerned. I thought by leaving things for a day and a half I wouldn't come across as needy or whatever but I guess that failed. She could of easily found 2 minutes to text me back, just to put my mind at ease so I could stop worrying. Don't worry guys, im sure by midnight when she finishes work I'll be blocked again, this is such a miserable joke.

I know i cant go on like this, the pain is too great. The 3 weeks not talking were miserable, then i spent all day yesterday / this morning resisting messaging / calling but once afternoon hit i thought **** it, we're cool surely. And I wanted to know she was doing ok, but no obviously thats unreasonable. I mean I've seen she's been active on fb numerous times. I spent hours the other night 90% listening to her problems / what she's been up to and she couldn't even reply with a simple "im ok" or something along those lines. WHAT AM I MEANT TO DO ? just forget about it ?

Stop applying the logic that works with 99% of people, and start realizing that she's programmed with a whole different set of logic just for her. She may breath and look like most humans - but the underlying circuitry is ****ed up.

This is not bull**** the guys here are throwing at you. This is not 'Oh, we'll make you feel better by telling you she's crazy'. No. This is our own personal experiences speaking, and we see the same damn traits in her as in our experiences.

Read this entire thread again.

 

[PokerL]

Stop applying the logic that works with 99% of people, and start realizing that she's programmed with a whole different set of logic just for her. She may breath and look like most humans - but the underlying circuitry is ****ed up.

This is not bull**** the guys here are throwing at you. This is not 'Oh, we'll make you feel better by telling you she's crazy'. No. This is our own personal experiences speaking, and we see the same damn traits in her as in our experiences.

Read this entire thread again.

I understand what you're saying, I'll re read this to remind myself but she can be a very reasonable person. She'd know that id be concerned for her well being, I would've expected her to at least send a text. It was roughly 1pm I texted her and she doesnt start work until 5pm. Even by her standards it seems so odd to dissapear for 3 weeks, come back, be very friendly then ignore several texts mainly regarding her being ok just 2 days later.

I just don't see what i can do ? i couldnt stand to block her on everything and go NC, thats so extreme. Though I wouldnt be surprised if I woke up to that tomorrow. I just want to be treated with a bit of decency. What's the play here ?

 

[RedScorpion]

I understand what you're saying, I'll re read this to remind myself but she can be a very reasonable person. She'd know that id be concerned for her well being, I would've expected her to at least send a text. It was roughly 1pm I texted her and she doesnt start work until 5pm. Even by her standards it seems so odd to dissapear for 3 weeks, come back, be very friendly then ignore several texts mainly regarding her being ok just 2 days later.

I just don't see what i can do ? i couldnt stand to block her on everything and go NC, thats so extreme. Though I wouldnt be surprised if I woke up to that tomorrow. I just want to be treated with a bit of decency. What's the play here ?

The play is recognizing how dependent your feelings of happiness and stability rests on her responding to your text or not. Try to get yourself to a place where you give no ****s about her - because this one action/inaction of hers is having this much influence on you. All you're doing is training your own dependency on her, to spend endless time psychoanalyzing her possible thought process behind whatever action or inaction.

The only consolation is that you should know by now that interactions with her is a mind****.

 

[PokerL]

The play is recognizing how dependent your feelings of happiness and stability rests on her responding to your text or not. Try to get yourself to a place where you give no ****s about her - because this one action/inaction of hers is having this much influence on you. All you're doing is training your own dependency on her, to spend endless time psychoanalyzing her possible thought process behind whatever action or inaction.

The only consolation is that you should know by now that interactions with her is a mind****.

I see what you're saying that's basically true, if she'd sent me a couple of nice messages id be in a fantastic mood even still and probably not be posting. I feel as if I've shown a lot of weakness, as in I let her block me for 3 weeks, go to the police, bad mouth me to the other Borderline but the second the phone goes I'm all ears and 2 days later im sending needy/low value messages all be it they were mainly due to my worrying about her, still pathetic.

So my question and it is a stupid one, how do I basically stop giving a f^ck about her, without blocking her on anything ? Again that being said she could well block me tonight even

 

[RedScorpion]

I see what you're saying that's basically true, if she'd sent me a couple of nice messages id be in a fantastic mood even still and probably not be posting. I feel as if I've shown a lot of weakness, as in I let her block me for 3 weeks, go to the police, bad mouth me to the other Borderline but the second the phone goes I'm all ears and 2 days later im sending needy/low value messages all be it they were mainly due to my worrying about her, still pathetic.

So my question and it is a stupid one, how do I basically stop giving a f^ck about her, without blocking her on anything ? Again that being said she could well block me tonight even

I wouldn't blame yourself for responding. She called, she was coming to you. She was playing the sympathy card of 'I'm suicidal, care about me'. And guess what - if someone was suicidal, it's 100% normal to be concerned about them during and after. Especially when you care and have history with them. However, in her case, she's using that as a way to cut around normal social boundaries (say, any misforgivings from the past, like the police stuff), as most people will set aside differences in some sort of crisis. Don't feel bad about showing 'weakness' or whatever here - she specifically elicited it from you.

For your own actions from here - don't bother blocking until you are ready to for yourself. For now - do not initiate contact, stay as minimal contact as possible. No more messages from you to her about anything. You have to decide for yourself if you are to respond or not to her messages. You have to get to a place where you know for yourself what will happen if you respond and interact more with her.

 

[PokerL]

I wouldn't blame yourself for responding. She called, she was coming to you. She was playing the sympathy card of 'I'm suicidal, care about me'. And guess what - if someone was suicidal, it's 100% normal to be concerned about them during and after. Especially when you care and have history with them. However, in her case, she's using that as a way to cut around normal social boundaries (say, any misforgivings from the past, like the police stuff), as most people will set aside differences in some sort of crisis. Don't feel bad about showing 'weakness' or whatever here - she specifically elicited it from you.

For your own actions from here - don't bother blocking until you are ready to for yourself. For now - do not initiate contact, stay as minimal contact as possible. No more messages from you to her about anything. You have to decide for yourself if you are to respond or not to her messages. You have to get to a place where you know for yourself what will happen if you respond and interact more with her.

I feel like I've made such a fool of myself today, she must just think im absurdly pathetic. But as you say 2 days ago the girl was describing how she cut her wrists open and tried to jump in front of moving vehicles at night so I mean being overly worried / looking for ways to make small talk with her is surely natural. In her head though I'd understand if she felt like there was nothing she couldnt do to me that wouldnt end with me just being glad to hear from her again

I very much do agree with what you are saying and as i type this to you i feel in control, however as a day or 2 passes, my worry for her grows combined with missing her and wondering why she's gone cold again I'll find it oh so hard not to call and just pray for an answer

 

[PokerL]

I suffer from trichotillomania which basically means when I'm anxious I rip my hair out, in the past 6 hours ive ripped out more hair than I had in the last couple of weeks or so combined, now I need to go to the barber to get it dealt with on monday god this is frustrating I hate how this has turned me into such a nervous wreck

 

[Billtx49]

I suffer from trichotillomania which basically means when I'm anxious I rip my hair out, in the past 6 hours ive ripped out more hair than I had in the last couple of weeks or so combined, now I need to go to the barber to get it dealt with on monday god this is frustrating I hate how this has turned me into such a nervous wreck

Get some professional psych or counseling help soon.

 

[PokerL]

Get some professional psych or counseling help soon.

i

Get some professional psych or counseling help soon.

I'm looking into it, already been to the doctors so waiting for a referral

 

[051AV]

Because borderlines have a stunted emotional development which doesnt progress much past 4 years old.

When they get angry you are dealing with someone with the emotional reasoning of a 4 year old throwing a tantrum

Isn't that the truth, BPDs throw a tantrum like a child my ex was like that, she would get mad at me and act like a spoiled child.