BPD from years ago returns

glass half full

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 2, 2012
Messages
908
Reaction score
297
It's time to help yourself as best as possible to endure no contact. Different cell/landline number. First name change, then if you hear from her somehow (through the grapevine) "no I'm his cousin Mike, he moved to LA and I don't have his number"...
He11 if you have to, find a diff appt. across town. Anything to allow yourself to not be bothered. She knows you're hooked on her, so do anything necessary to unplug. Find a female friend, cousin, etc. to be seen with so she knows you're not available to her.
 

btownbuck2012

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 10, 2008
Messages
1,465
Reaction score
1,552
Age
35
Location
Los Angeles
had a child with one..

the evil I've seen...

theirs no way to explain it. no way at all, wish I could, but I just cant. no possible way I can describe the experience and what I had to do to survive.

fvcking brutal man, brutal as fvcking chit.

everything they say, do, live, all leads to one goal, death and destruction. that's what their born to do. and they do it with smiles and kindess, while slowly killing you.

every time she reaches out, thinks about, contacts you, she has death on her mind.

think I'm crazy? lololol

I've known a few guys that died when i was younger, some was suicide, drunk car accidents, overdoeses.. it was because of girls. and those idiots didn't even have kids, :eek:
You remind me of one of my best friends who I grew up with in Indiana. He’s got a child with a mentally ill woman and he’s got the mental strength and will power of a god. I dated a legit bpd for 4 months recently and felt the sting of it for several weeks after I dumped her. Like intense withdrawals symptoms that I thought for sure I wouldn’t have. I knew what I was dealing with and from the very beginning was planning to jump ship and did so as soon as the crazy came out. I cannot imagine being a blue pill guy getting caught up with one of these women not knowing what they’re capable of. Sadism and evil are understatements.
 

btownbuck2012

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 10, 2008
Messages
1,465
Reaction score
1,552
Age
35
Location
Los Angeles
I also think the whole thing about only 2% of the population having bpd is total bs. I’d estimated it’s actually 10-20% if you looking at the single women population above 25 years old.
 

Chev.Chelios

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 27, 2016
Messages
622
Reaction score
570
Age
32
Location
Spokane, Wa
a man that overcomes a bpd women is a damn soldier..

I got lucky, god himself intervined and pulled me out of the mess, she eventually self destructed and lost everything, her son and legal rights included so I was able to walk free from her.

never seen the kid or her again, our son lives with his grandparent now and he should be fine to.(restraining orders)

before the nuclear explosion she made a last ditch effort to kill.. with false allegations of sexual abuse against our son.. and domestic violence charges against her. I was in and out of court for months dealing with that. at first i was expecting a prison sentence when everything ended all I got was court fees.

she's living with random degenerates doing drugs and still blaming everyone else for her misfortunes, her son doesn't want anything to do with her because he knows what she is.

she still sends me emails with old photos of us attached, and asks people where i am.. blood chilling.

so op, my bpd ex tried to physically murder me, and get me thrown in prison for the rest of my life, tore my son away where ill probably never see him again. ruined my name in some huge public smearing campaign.. ruined her sons life, destroyed herself with drugs.

and she still reaches out to me with random emails as if nothing happened , feeling sorry our "relationship ended" lololol

and you have a bpd, randomly texting you and fvcking with your emotions.

bpd women are all the same. idk what else I can tell someone to never engage a women with personality disorders hahahah
 

Chev.Chelios

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 27, 2016
Messages
622
Reaction score
570
Age
32
Location
Spokane, Wa
during our relationship she didn't show any signs she would do that,, that's the crazy part, no drugs or alcohol the entire time, barely any drama, she was even a great mother.

that's the damdest thing, it after the breakup this stuff happens, crazy.

I have a huge victim story above and don't want to paint myself as a victimized complainer.. the experience taught me rock solid personal boundaries of what women I'll allow in my life. and since the incident I've found myself with some amazing honeys that really are genuine. any weird signs I get from a girl I by all means won't engage with her.

which sucks because the hottest girls usually are fvxked up in the head, and girls not so hot are sort of.. bland.

but having a cute chick that's not super hit be nice and make you dinner is better then a drug addict stripper psycho 10 that obliterates lives hahaha
 

niceguytoalphamale

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 2, 2015
Messages
616
Reaction score
313
Location
Somewhere cosy
@Chev.Chelios sounds very similar to my BPD ex the first one... she was crazy as f**k accused me of doing all kinds of messed up things I even went to jail twice because of her and got bail. Then went on to court and she was accused of being a liar by the judge. I ran and never looked back she still tries to make contact with me blood chilling alright mate.. my blood runs cold. DJS best to listen to.other members advice and stay the f**k away from them. They're nuts and dangerous.on a whole new level. And the 2 and 20 % thing is bull**** because in my old.home town I met 7 in a period of 3 years ugly world lol
 

Chev.Chelios

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 27, 2016
Messages
622
Reaction score
570
Age
32
Location
Spokane, Wa
Jesus that's horrible..

theirs a whole other side of fixing yourself against being vulnerable to bpd women that never gets talked about.

id say to move on and fully be rid of the disease of letting bpd women take control of you is 50% the issues within yourself.

I have a buddy i met out awhile ago that does porn, he embodies Chad to the fullest extent. 100s of girls chasing him and begging for attention, dudes 21 and he's banged over 150 girls. all if which are really fvcking hot.

when u talk to him about his past relationships he virtually has nothing negative to say, couple girls cheated, but he's pounding so much azz as it is he can only laugh, and those girls that cheated are beyond destroyed he doesn't care and he proceeded to bang their friends.

the guy is happy, vibrant, abundant, and more importantly just doesn't give a chit.

i did alot of comparing between myself and him and the best i could find is that the guy just naturally doesn't vibe or resonate with negative energy at all. he simply will not low it and owns his manhood fully.

girls can't shame him, poisen drip, play games, get mad.. be toxic. his frame is rock solid and impenetrable. any sort of toxic energy he feels is ruthlessly cut off. better yet, he never allows the issue to grow in the first place.

the dude lives a life that is virtually free of any heartbreak and problems with women.

myself on the other hand, grew up very negative, always fighting.. btching,, severe victim mentality, always breaking stuff and starting arguments. I was for the most part, a severely fvxked up kid that wasn't emotionally healthy in many ways. bod women are me for lunch because I bought into their toxic frames.

bpd women can only affect emotionally damaged people. that's why I post so much on a pickup site because game has been such a problem for me my whole life haha...
alot of guys have alot of inner work needed to be done to fully heal from bad relationships and end them for good.

take the info for what it's worth.
 

wolf

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 12, 2016
Messages
253
Reaction score
263
Age
36
So the BPD I posted about from years ago has returned and I fu*ked up. I was about 1 year totally sober from this chick. Didn't call, erased number, no contact, the works. She hits me up on my old phone saying some sappy nonsense. I held out for a month. I didn't respond even though everyday it was a struggle. Like a true recovering junkie I responded. Big mistake. Fast forward to a month later I pay for a portion of her ticket to come see me. I made her pay for a lot of it just out of principle and for the fact that she is very unpredictable. She had flaked on me many times in the past and I wasn't gonna shell out hundreds of dollars on a ticket just to get flaked on.

Sure enough about a week out she comes up with some issue. Apparently I am player and her parents don't think its right ( shes in her mid twenties adult, ex stripper who has never listened to her divorced parents ever) and that she doesn't want me to expect sex because she not giving it blah blah blah blah. Long phone call, a lot of yelling and talking over each other. A lot of her saying " I don't know what I want" etc etc. I basically got gaslighted for her not coming. It was my fault somehow.

I have made a lot of progress but relapse is always hovering over me. Its been 3 yrs since I have seen her and she still has not changed. I always imagined that she would be different. They never change. This brings back bad memories of what a borderline is like. I haven't had to deal with them for 3 years since I moved away and dated more healthy women. I think the universe did me a big favor by her not coming out here. I am going on a date with a sane women this weekend so I should be ok.
She didn't want you. She just needed to know that she could have you and you showed her that she could. Mission accomplished on her part. Mission. Failed on yours. Do not pass go. Do not fall for this trap again.
 

wolf

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 12, 2016
Messages
253
Reaction score
263
Age
36
I also think the whole thing about only 2% of the population having bpd is total bs. I’d estimated it’s actually 10-20% if you looking at the single women population above 25 years old.
I occasionally view the top subreddits on Reddit and filter by growth over 24hrs. There is a BPD Reddit Topic that is consistently in the top 100 subreddits by growth of around 1% PER DAY. Either BPD is becoming more common or awareness of BPD is becoming more common. The Subreddit is BPDLovedone.
 

Chev.Chelios

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 27, 2016
Messages
622
Reaction score
570
Age
32
Location
Spokane, Wa
standard social conditioning in modern society breeds this thing so called "bpd"

humans are naturally poly creatures trying to live in a system of monogamy.

this is what I've realized In my own journey of healing. the bottom line is nearly every human that grew up in this system we live in is brainwashed with false narratives, religion, and fairytales. this is what is making humans act so fvcking crazy with relationships.

the whole landscape of love and dating in the world is a nuclear holocaust.

I tell this to people I get the same common responses, marriage works if you put in work, god made marriage, my grandparents stayed together for 60 years and their still in love so cute blah blah..

in my experience the people that disagree wth the above statement are the same people that get destroyed by breakups lol, and I want no advice or part then because I know better.

I've had to completely transform myself into living a poly lifestyle and funny enough I don't find myself being attracted to monogamous women, I flat out wont get involved with any girl that gets feelings for me ever, I don't date, court, but into that whole chivalry mans code/honor bullchit anymore.

you can call me jaded or wounded for not wanting a relationship, but whats worse.. getting destroyed over a girl for years and living suicidal depression? or not being a monogamous dude and enjoying several relation ships with women that are actually healthy and I don't get suicidal depression if I never see them again.

the majority of people are literal walking zombies that sham others for not being a brain washed zombie.

I can look forward to living a life of open sexual freedom for myself and everyone else I know. <3
 

Pandora

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 11, 2008
Messages
3,360
Reaction score
3,254
Age
39
She didn't want you. She just needed to know that she could have you and you showed her that she could. Mission accomplished on her part. Mission. Failed on yours. Do not pass go. Do not fall for this trap again.
Totally right. I told this story to an ex who is a therapist and she said almost exactly what you said. The BPD wanted the satisfaction of knowing I still cared. Well it hurt her broke azz too because she had to come out of pocket with a large chunk of her ticket.
It crazy man this is the only chick that makes me look like a fool. Im like Wiley Coyote falling for every trap. I am usually a pretty stoic strong dude.
 

wolf

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 12, 2016
Messages
253
Reaction score
263
Age
36
Totally right. I told this story to an ex who is a therapist and she said almost exactly what you said. The BPD wanted the satisfaction of knowing I still cared. Well it hurt her broke azz too because she had to come out of pocket with a large chunk of her ticket.
It crazy man this is the only chick that makes me look like a fool. Im like Wiley Coyote falling for every trap. I am usually a pretty stoic strong dude.
If it's any consolation to you, they do like a challenge and pursue stoic guys as it mirrors their yearning for love in a way that mirrors their childhood yearning for love form the parent/s that failed them. Hence why alot of them have distant or absent Father's. Weak guys don't offer them this challenge and get chewed up and spat out after a few short weeks unless they husband them up in a Beta provider kind of way.
 

Pandora

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 11, 2008
Messages
3,360
Reaction score
3,254
Age
39
If it's any consolation to you, they do like a challenge and pursue stoic guys as it mirrors their yearning for love in a way that mirrors their childhood yearning for love form the parent/s that failed them. Hence why alot of them have distant or absent Father's. Weak guys don't offer them this challenge and get chewed up and spat out after a few short weeks unless they husband them up in a Beta provider kind of way.
That makes a lot of sense. Thank you
 

DEEZEDBRAH

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 24, 2017
Messages
6,096
Reaction score
4,852
Age
34
In the eords of rollo, take thebtrash to the curb and don't look back. #nextSet
 

stovepipe

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 12, 2017
Messages
978
Reaction score
1,089
Anyone whos been with a BPD knows how difficult it can be to ignore a hoover. Just be thankful you arent one of those men who never learned what BPD's are and how they operate, and end up spending the rest of their life chasing their BPD ex cause they thought the love bombing was actually real. I witnessed them telling ex's they still love them to keep the supply and keep the man from dating. Then ghosting him for years at a time.

Only pure evil smiles while causing others massive amounts of emotional and mental pain. Who cares if she got her supply by getting you to show her you still care. Try your best to make it the last and final time you ever give in to her bs manipulation. As others have already said, it's never about you, its always about them.

I sent the BPD ex an email a couple months after the split that was like 3 pages of beta male bs. I was still in the fog but had just learned what BPD was She ended up texting me a couple days later saying how sorry she was and how she never meant to hurt me. I dont know where my strength came from but I ignored her, deleted the text and blocked her #. The amount of happiness I felt in myself from finally being able to ignore her was the 1st step of slowly healing myself. She tried to contact me again months later with a blocked # but it didn't faze me. It was always reminding myself of the phuked up things she did to me that made me never ever want to see or talk to her again.

It's truly scary how they haunt your mind for years or forever. Thats why guys like us try to tell others to not even sleep with one no matter how hot she is. Feels like the same way as an addict shooting up his 1st hit of heroin. Its like she's living my mind rent free and I cant evict her a$$. Someone mentioned it being like losing a limb in battle and accepting the fact you aint never getting that arm/leg back. They make the extra effort to be the girl you always wanted so no other women ever compares. Then you go chasing other women in hopes of feeling the way they made you feel only to realize it's never going to happen. Thats why so many men after the breakup end up isolating themselves from society, refuse to date or even turn guy.


I have a friend who is what you would call the betaist male with little to no experience with women, only had a couple gf at a young age. He ended up marrying one, she divorced him 4 years ago after a year of marriage (she remarried). For the past 4 years he rarely if ever leaves his house, will not talk to women, wont come out with us, still talks about her at times as if they are still together (scary weird), hair turned 50% grey, all our friends have no idea why. Im only the one out 20+ people in our circle that knows wtf hes going through. So in closing, also be thankful she never came to your crib. If she did and you ended up sleeping with her, it could have ended really badly for you. And the new memories both good and bad would have been imprinted in your mind that would hunt you even further.
 

RickTheToad

Moderator
Joined
Apr 21, 2018
Messages
6,555
Reaction score
5,082
Location
Bridgeport, CT
So the BPD I posted about from years ago has returned and I fu*ked up. I was about 1 year totally sober from this chick. Didn't call, erased number, no contact, the works. She hits me up on my old phone saying some sappy nonsense. I held out for a month. I didn't respond even though everyday it was a struggle. Like a true recovering junkie I responded. Big mistake. Fast forward to a month later I pay for a portion of her ticket to come see me. I made her pay for a lot of it just out of principle and for the fact that she is very unpredictable. She had flaked on me many times in the past and I wasn't gonna shell out hundreds of dollars on a ticket just to get flaked on.

Sure enough about a week out she comes up with some issue. Apparently I am player and her parents don't think its right ( shes in her mid twenties adult, ex stripper who has never listened to her divorced parents ever) and that she doesn't want me to expect sex because she not giving it blah blah blah blah. Long phone call, a lot of yelling and talking over each other. A lot of her saying " I don't know what I want" etc etc. I basically got gaslighted for her not coming. It was my fault somehow.

I have made a lot of progress but relapse is always hovering over me. Its been 3 yrs since I have seen her and she still has not changed. I always imagined that she would be different. They never change. This brings back bad memories of what a borderline is like. I haven't had to deal with them for 3 years since I moved away and dated more healthy women. I think the universe did me a big favor by her not coming out here. I am going on a date with a sane women this weekend so I should be ok.
Is she still hot?
 

Pandora

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 11, 2008
Messages
3,360
Reaction score
3,254
Age
39
Is she still hot?
Unfortunately yes. She is slightly older looking but she didn't let her weight balloon. She was an 8/10 before and maybe a 7.7 now. I really wish I could show pics She is super cute rather than hot. Super cute is much more dangerous than super hot.
 

stovepipe

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 12, 2017
Messages
978
Reaction score
1,089
Unfortunately yes. She is slightly older looking but she didn't let her weight balloon. She was an 8/10 before and maybe a 7.7 now. I really wish I could show pics She is super cute rather than hot. Super cute is much more dangerous than super hot.
You can upload them else where and share the link that way there is no pics posted here. Now we're all curious you keep saying you wanna post them
 
Top