BPD ex texts me after 6 months at 1am after grandma dies

[Atom Smasher]

I noticed with my last BPD that they tend to call very late at night or early in the morning (1,2, or 3 a.m.) because they have almost no impulse control and they need their attention fix. I used to be quite alarmed when she called at these hours.

Also, NEVER seek any kind of resolution with a BPD. Even a total dressing down will satsify her craving for attention for a while. She will take any kind of attention, positive or negative. You need to starve the monster that is BPD (the monster being the disease itself).

 

[Die Hard]

Deep down, you're still hoping that she might make up for all the hurt she's caused you...

When the people whe love, hurt us...we wish it weren't true.

Why? How could you do to this? I LOVE you, I thought you loved ME too?! Please, why are you doing this? How can you be so cold?


There you are, on your knees, hoping for that other person to do what he should do: Make things alright!

But he doesn't... Now that's a tough thing to accept! Even people you thought you were close with, you thought you could trust, you thought you could depend on...can treat you like SH!T. That's a fvcked up world and it's a tough thing to live in such a cold and harsh world... One is inclined to say: "I don't wanna live in such a world, write me off..." It's kinda unacceptable and one is inclined to keep hope that the world is NOT like that. Therefor, one is inclined to keep looking for the proof that the world isn't like that.

Perhaps that's why you can't let your BPD ex go. Perhaps you stil hope that you were mistaken about her, that she will somehow show that she's sorry for what she did to you after all. That she will somehow prove to you that people, and the world, are NOT that harsh and cold...

That's not gonna happen though! So better swallow it! Until you do, you mmight not be able to ever let go of her...

 

[jake-a-roo4]

Why is the anger still there? So much time has passed.

Why is the anger still there? So much time has passed.

Guys that haven't been in my situation don't understand what a relationship like that is like. They talk a bunch of shi*t but if they were in my shoes they would feel different from having to deal with it.

She put me through hell during our relationship. I lost friends because of her, she tried to turn people and my family against me, I lost my job because of her, found out she stalked and threatened to kill a girl at my work because she thought we were having sex. Made me out to be "the bad guy" and ruined my reputation. I could of went to a different University and let a great girl go because I thought she was "the one" but it was all a sham. Could of not had all that stress. I feel my life could be a lot better if it wasn't for her.

You don't know what it's like to have an awesome girl that you fall in love with because she is so amazing and over night turn into some lunatic that is hell bent on trying to ruin you when you did nothing at all.

She was beautiful, funny, intelligent, thoughtful, confident and we had almost everything in common except she liked country music. She made me special gifts on special occasions and just because. I was treated like a king and we were told by lots of people that we were a great looking and happy couple. We never ran out of things to say, never fought, and it was just amazing.

Then she became insecure and jealous. Questioned me all the time. Became a emotional basket case with her crying episodes. Accused me of cheating. Then she started in being super mean and spiteful. Caused fights for no reason and started them front of family and friends that made me look bad when it was her. Sad thing was is that they belived that I was being a **** head. Trying to kill herself several times. Punched me and when I grabbed her arm from hitting me again she said I was attacking her. Sleeping with random guys I didn't know about and an ex and an old fwb. So much more stuff she did too.

The girl of your dreams melting into this crazy lunatic out to get you is a hard thing to go through. You are left in this fog with wtf happened. You see that girl how she was wanting it back but you know that it wasnt who she really is.

I got over it but just hearing from her brings it all back. I know she is messed up but that is no way to treat me because I treated her well. I guess I'm more mad at myself for going back with her to get more abuse when I found out from her cousin that she has this problem.

I guess telling her off does no good because I did before but idk she knows what she is doing and that what makes me angry about it still.

 

[jake-a-roo4]

I noticed with my last BPD that they tend to call very late at night or early in the morning (1,2, or 3 a.m.) because they have almost no impulse control and they need their attention fix. I used to be quite alarmed when she called at these hours.

Also, NEVER seek any kind of resolution with a BPD. Even a total dressing down will satsify her craving for attention for a while. She will take any kind of attention, positive or negative. You need to starve the monster that is BPD (the monster being the disease itself).

she does too. after our first break up it was always late night or early morning texts or calls. she would make it sound that something was wrong with her. then when i called or texted later on it was no big deal. i guess i'm seeking some ending to the whole thing because she will never feel sorry for what she did. she never has.

 

[jake-a-roo4]

Deep down, you're still hoping that she might make up for all the hurt she's caused you...

When the people whe love, hurt us...we wish it weren't true.

Why? How could you do to this? I LOVE you, I thought you loved ME too?! Please, why are you doing this? How can you be so cold?


There you are, on your knees, hoping for that other person to do what he should do: Make things alright!

But he doesn't... Now that's a tough thing to accept! Even people you thought you were close with, you thought you could trust, you thought you could depend on...can treat you like SH!T. That's a fvcked up world and it's a tough thing to live in such a cold and harsh world... One is inclined to say: "I don't wanna live in such a world, write me off..." It's kinda unacceptable and one is inclined to keep hope that the world is NOT like that. Therefor, one is inclined to keep looking for the proof that the world isn't like that.

Perhaps that's why you can't let your BPD ex go. Perhaps you stil hope that you were mistaken about her, that she will somehow show that she's sorry for what she did to you after all. That she will somehow prove to you that people, and the world, are NOT that harsh and cold...

That's not gonna happen though! So better swallow it! Until you do, you mmight not be able to ever let go of her...

i'm not looking for her to make it up somehow because she never will. she never felt sorry for anything she did. i'm just more angry that i went through it all for how she treated me and what she did. maybe take another route like i should of. Losing a good job, friends, and making me look like a monster is something that I shouldn't feel bad about being angry about. What's done is done but when you lose things like a job, friends, and stuff you still can be bitter about it.

 

[jake-a-roo4]

What are you some kind of wussy man with no self control? So automatically if someone says something to you are you obliged to respond?

You don't have to respond to every freaking text someone sends you. In fact don't worry about her motives. Take it as as a nice gesture and move on with your life. Don't reply, delete the message, move on, simple.

You haven't been in my situation or my shoes with a girl like this. So until you have shut the fvck up. then you will know what it's all about.

 

[jake-a-roo4]

Put it this way a "normal" ex would either not text you or they would say thanks for your your help with my grandmother, unfortunately she passed away. The fact that she said I know you hate me to start off is an instant red flag.

She's trying to manipulate your pity into a reply. It's a hoover and believe me hoovers come in all shapes and sizes. BPDs will stoop to just about any level to hoover you back into their chaos.

that is what she always did made me the one to be bad and her being innocent. I never contacted her one time or replied but she still is at it after all this time.

 

[jake-a-roo4]

Thanks sexysuave and Elmer_Gantry for your great insight. That was a great read and really describes to a T how I had to deal with her and how she treated me. She is no longer with the current bf so which is probably why she is contacting me again.

 

[Atom Smasher]

she does too. after our first break up it was always late night or early morning texts or calls. she would make it sound that something was wrong with her. then when i called or texted later on it was no big deal. i guess i'm seeking some ending to the whole thing because she will never feel sorry for what she did. she never has.

Remember that she is entirely, utterly incapable of being sorry for what she has done. Her inner circuitry is severely damaged and she can't comprehend her own responsibility.