BPD Ex Emails Friend of Mine

[rocket]

I have been in a relationship roller coaster, with a girl for the past 2 years. During that time I swear to you she has some kind of BPD. She was adopted at 4, parents killed themselves. When I got close or angered her she would flip out. Anyway, about three weeks ago I had no job and she was tired of that. She checked my texts, built a story of what she thought was happening and kicked me out of the apartment. She says I lied to her which I did not.

OK, so that was in the North East. I moved to Atlanta, got a WELL paying job...I mean a lot of cash. I have a new apartment, etc. I'm also an artist and already have a magazine interviwing me in 4 weeks. So things are blowing up now.

I have not heard from her, but yesterday a close friend of mine received this>

"Name Here, moved to Atlanta. he already found a job. i have a big trust issue with clay right now. i hope one day we can talk again, but right now i need to be by myself and clear my head."

I have cut off contact. My question is 2 parts...1) why did she send that email? and 2) she has unlimited resources and likes to travel. now that i am doing better should i expect a call from her to try to derail things?

Thanks

 

[horaholic]

trying to analize a BPD's actions is a lost cause. Also, BPD's usually will come back to you anyway, over and over again.

 

[rocket]

here's the thing, she through me out b/c she said i "lied to her". she changed her number, booted me and i haven't heard from her in over 3 weeks. i'm just wondering when i do get it really back in the road and doiong great will she want to visit me? like even if she wants to get help and is trying, will it still bother her that i moved on?

 

[SmoothTalker]

Context please?

Was this friend already having an email conversation with her?

If this was just out of the blue and that's all she said, then... that makes no sense, and not just in a messed up who knows what motivates crazy girls way, but in a what the hell is that supposed to mean and why would you tell me that way.

 

[rocket]

No, she as in Japan. he saw on FB that he was in Japan and asked if I was with her. then went on to write something about how he liked her and i together, etc., etc. so he asked about me in the email. still seems like a ton of info to give out.

 

[horaholic]

BPD's have a sixth sense about contacting you right when you think you've moved on from them. If she's a BPD, dont let her contact you. Stay far away from her.

 

[SmoothTalker]

BPD's have a sixth sense about contacting you right when you think you've moved on from them.

True story. I don't usually believe in psychic powers, but there have been times where it was just unnervingly precise.

In one example, with absolutely ZERO contact of any kind for several weeks, my BPD ex contacted me out of the blue on EXACTLY the day I finally got over everything and was feeling plain awesome.

The only thing I can think of aside from amazing luck, is she talked to some friend of mine who said I was doing great.

Still, it's wild.

The luck variable becomes pretty insignificant when I consider how many other times she managed to do exactly the same thing, if not quite so perfectly.

 

[TesuqueRed]

rocket -- 2 yrs relationship? If you're under 30, you won't forget her for 3X that length (it's all a function of that hormonal blood-bath we all get at 12...)

Will she intrude (that is, contact you at just the moment you start moving on?)

Yes. But you knew that.

It'll take you 1-3 girls like this before you recognize "crazy" and simply steer away. It takes awhile. They know how to plug into you, and until you are no longer 'pluggable', they'll do it.

Problem is, you can't unplug yourself.

It just takes time, distance, maturity, etc. After awhile, you just see crazy as crazy (like someone yelling in the street), and you walk around it without drawing attention to yourself.

Unless you need really good crazy eyes-rolling-to-the-back-of-your-skull sex, that is. Crazy is good for that, but godalmighty do you pay! At some point, it costs more than than the sex is worth, and you bail out.

Good luck, guy. Let her ride on. Who are you seeing now? That's the real question -- not her.

 

[jophil28]

I have cut off contact. My question is 2 parts...1) why did she send that email? and 2) she has unlimited resources and likes to travel. now that i am doing better should i expect a call from her to try to derail things?

Thanks

Once again we have a guy here who is trying to "understand" a crazy woman.
BPD women, or their close cousins HPDs, are beyond understanding.

You mission is NOT to pursue 'understanding, it is to discard her and permanently disconnect.

Carry on, Private.

 

[romangod]

Once again we have a guy here who is trying to "understand" a crazy woman.
BPD women, or their close cousins HPDs, are beyond understanding.

You mission is NOT to pursue 'understanding, it is to discard her and permanently disconnect.

Where's Leisure Suit Larry when we need him? He's the king of BPD relationships. His expertise is unchallenged.

Cheers!

 

[rocket]

thanks guys. and as far as distance, man she went on vacation and i had to be out when she got back to the apartment. i mean my name was on the lease, etc....but i had to go. while with her i had lost my job that paid 43k and my art had suffered (which my art is how i met her). now i moved to atlanta...800 miles away, landed a 95k a year job and already my art is being picked up by a trade magazine in atlanta. so i am already doing better and i wanted to put that much distance between us b/c i want to focus. i love the girl to death, don't get me wrong....but i didn't want to keep losing time in my life to do what i am put here to do. i just believe that like all girls after they break up with you, if you get on the upswing and they see you doing better without them they are going to want to come back.

 

[brokenupinside]

When somebody says something like "I need to be by myself and clear my head" it means only one of two things ....she's got issues or she needs an excuse.

 

[Jean Valjean]

I have been in a relationship roller coaster, with a girl for the past 2 years. During that time I swear to you she has some kind of BPD. She was adopted at 4, parents killed themselves. When I got close or angered her she would flip out. Anyway, about three weeks ago I had no job and she was tired of that. She checked my texts, built a story of what she thought was happening and kicked me out of the apartment. She says I lied to her which I did not.

OK, so that was in the North East. I moved to Atlanta, got a WELL paying job...I mean a lot of cash. I have a new apartment, etc. I'm also an artist and already have a magazine interviwing me in 4 weeks. So things are blowing up now.

I have not heard from her, but yesterday a close friend of mine received this>

"Name Here, moved to Atlanta. he already found a job. i have a big trust issue with clay right now. i hope one day we can talk again, but right now i need to be by myself and clear my head."

I have cut off contact. My question is 2 parts...1) why did she send that email? and 2) she has unlimited resources and likes to travel. now that i am doing better should i expect a call from her to try to derail things?

Thanks

Hi again. I'm over my BPD. You need to do the same - get some NC going and
talk your mind away from her - but most important find a high quality girl the comparison will make her pale.
In time you would find like I did that she is a lost case - pity the guy with her and feel stupid that you were so into her once. Put her in your past.