BPD co worker

[Pandora]

So I am working with a BPD coworker. She is diagnosed as BPD and she told me she was. It was apparent from the first time I met her. She is my superior (for now) at this job I just started. Through out the day her mood will fluctuate and her anxiety will wax and wane. Her emotional regulation is very poor and she stresses about the most mundane things. We talk about her condition. I get the impression that she is suffering. She is a slave to her own emotional fluctuations. She cant stop obsessing about certain men, events etc.

I am starting to have even more compassion for these types of people. I have a front row seat to the insanity (yet again) . They truly can not help it. They are very ill. This is akin to a man being a slave to his sex drive. Women are slaves to their emotions and men to their penis. This girl looks like a pitiful slave. This is probably how a rampant womanizer looks to other people. Like a pitiful slave.

I may have to quit soon because working with her is tough. Very nice person but I cant take the ups and downs. Boundary setting is getting difficult too. Sorry to make this another BPD post but I thought you guys might find it interesting.

 

[typical]

So I am working with a BPD coworker. She is diagnosed as BPD and she told me she was. It was apparent from the first time I met her. She is my superior (for now) at this job I just started. Through out the day her mood will fluctuate and her anxiety will wax and wane. Her emotional regulation is very poor and she stresses about the most mundane things. We talk about her condition. I get the impression that she is suffering. She is a slave to her own emotional fluctuations. She cant stop obsessing about certain men, events etc.

I am starting to have even more compassion for these types of people. I have a front row seat to the insanity (yet again) . They truly can not help it. They are very ill. This is akin to a man being a slave to his sex drive. Women are slaves to their emotions and men to their penis. This girl looks like a pitiful slave. This is probably how a rampant womanizer looks to other people. Like a pitiful slave.

I may have to quit soon because working with her is tough. Very nice person but I cant take the ups and downs. Boundary setting is getting difficult too. Sorry to make this another BPD post but I thought you guys might find it interesting.

I have a friend that has a gf of 3 years that's diagnosed as having BPD and even at 39 she is banging hot, he is extremely alpha in everything he does and in his mid 40's a pure natural and former policeman and we used to train for muay thai together in our teens and tweens.

The thing is though when he is with her he is THE most calm understanding and patient person I've ever seen, I can tell he loves and adores her and vice versa. When she's "normal" they have an almost idyllic relationship BUT I've seen her "flip out" and he handles her with the utmost care and understanding.

I've asked him why he stayed with her when he first learned about her disorder and his answer was he couldn't abandon her as she had become his bestfriend and they had an understanding of each other that was very deep. I guess to be able to handle a BPD you have to have a huge amount of compassion and empathy and also complete control of your own mental awryness and emotions, something which I would say the vast majority of men struggle with.

Watching him interact with her when she's lost herself to her emotions and mental illness is akin to watching an old Buddhist Sensei in action.

 

[DonJuanjr]

BUT I've seen her "flip out"

Watching him interact with her when she's lost herself to her emotions and mental illness

Could you give some examples?

 

[typical]

Could you give some examples?

Her "School" class failed their internal assignment and she felt it was her fault, she went and got plastered on alcohol and cocaine and ended up crashing her car a block away from their place and walked home with a slight concussion bleeding and bruises. She left the car there.

He left work early got the car towed away and simply went home and cuddled with her on the couch. He called me and asked if my gf could come over and treat her wounds as she didn't want to deal with "authorities or medical persons". We went over fixed her up as best we could (my then gf was a nurse) made them dinner and gave them as much space as needed. All he done was speak to her and comfort her by reminding her of all the good she's done at her "school" and de-escalated her emotions to a point where she was able to control herself again. He didn't get angry or lose his temper he was "just there" and took care of everything and didn't blame her or finger point just a very level headed cool calm demeanor.

The best analogy that I can compare it to is the old butterfly and stone one. She's an extreme butterfly wafting in the wind carefree and careless (most of it from her BPD) and he is an extreme stone just rock solid and very well grounded.

 

[TheKid]

Her "School" class failed their internal assignment and she felt it was her fault, she went and got plastered on alcohol and cocaine and ended up crashing her car a block away from their place and walked home with a slight concussion bleeding and bruises. She left the car there.

He left work early got the car towed away and simply went home and cuddled with her on the couch. He called me and asked if my gf could come over and treat her wounds as she didn't want to deal with "authorities or medical persons". We went over fixed her up as best we could (my then gf was a nurse) made them dinner and gave them as much space as needed. All he done was speak to her and comfort her by reminding her of all the good she's done at her "school" and de-escalated her emotions to a point where she was able to control herself again. He didn't get angry or lose his temper he was "just there" and took care of everything and didn't blame her or finger point just a very level headed cool calm demeanor.

The best analogy that I can compare it to is the old butterfly and stone one. She's an extreme butterfly wafting in the wind carefree and careless (most of it from her BPD) and he is an extreme stone just rock solid and very well grounded.

But the dynamic is set. He is her carer now. Is this guy gonna deny himself emotional fulfillment for this girl. Imagine the conquests he could go on if this leech wasnt eating his peace. The unreliability straight off the bat is a issue in trust. If your partner isnt relaible in return that is a massive problem later come.

 

[Atom Smasher]

He might have exceptionally large reserves of patience, but I suspect that his patience will eventually be exhausted. He might be in “I can fix her” mode at three years in. BPDs are monsters (and it is true that they absolutely can’t help it) and they will continue to escalate until the man is a smoking wreckage.
I suppose that BPD is a spectrum, so she may have long-ish periods of relative normalcy, giving the guy hope.
Of course we’re all just speculating. I wish I could observe their interactions, as clues would abound.

 

[typical]

He might have exceptionally large reserves of patience, but I suspect that his patience will eventually be exhausted. He might be in “I can fix her” mode at three years in. BPDs are monsters (and it is true that they absolutely can’t help it) and they will continue to escalate until the man is a smoking wreckage.
I suppose that BPD is a spectrum, so she may have long-ish periods of relative normalcy, giving the guy hope.
Of course we’re all just speculating. I wish I could observe their interactions, as clues would abound.

I'm trying my best to observe without intruding or making them aware of what I'm doing. So far he's been able to handle everything thrown at him and there's only been maybe a half dozen or so episodes over the last 3 years. The thing that is different is that she has only ever had 2 other relationships and from what she has told him only 8 or 9 sexual partners in her life, something which I can't verify, but he trusts her so that's one dynamic (so far) that's not causing any problems.

I might have to bookmark this thread and report on it when there's anything new that's happened purely for science and to help our fellow men when they happen to get involved with a BPD. With the changes in our society that have occured in the last 5-10 years I see more and more women displaying more and more mental disorders so more information is better I guess.

I know there might not be any correlation here but Pook mentioned that an extremely feminine female is attracted to the extremely masculine male, can we also state that when we go to any extreme's we start to dive into the realm of mental disorders. We've all seen "Alpha" men that are for the lack of a better term "Worthless humans" and we've also seen extremely feminine women sleep around and branch swing as if it's an addiction. Could both these cases and similar cases be founded from mental disorders ?

We've also made a meme out of the "Crazy-Hot" scale for women or the abusive ex bf that women keep going back to. I think I know that my next degree is going to be in psychology just to get a better understanding of what people think about and how it lines up with red pill thinking.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Her "School" class failed their internal assignment and she felt it was her fault, she went and got plastered on alcohol and cocaine and ended up crashing her car a block away from their place and walked home with a slight concussion bleeding and bruises. She left the car there.

That's not "BPD". What you are describing is downright criminal behaviour combined with a sense of invincibility (i.e. that she can get away with breaking all sorts of laws, like buying illicit drugs and DUI, because her ex-cop boyfriend will keep her out of trouble). And your friend's reaction is not "compassion". It's downright stupidity. One day, this c*ke wh*re will get him into serious trouble. People like that have a way of ruining the lives of everyone around them. I do not buy his story about the deep emotional connection either. He just doesn't want to lose access to that pvssy because he's not confident that he'll find a suitable replacement.

 

[Speculator E]

I've asked him why he stayed with her when he first learned about her disorder and his answer was he couldn't abandon her as she had become his bestfriend and they had an understanding of each other that was very deep. I guess to be able to handle a BPD you have to have a huge amount of compassion and empathy and also complete control of your own mental awryness and emotions, something which I would say the vast majority of men struggle with.

Watching him interact with her when she's lost herself to her emotions and mental illness is akin to watching an old Buddhist Sensei in action.

This is a technique in the BPD community to help deal with the bpd outbursts. I think it's call the SET method.

I know there might not be any correlation here but Pook mentioned that an extremely feminine female is attracted to the extremely masculine male, can we also state that when we go to any extreme's we start to dive into the realm of mental disorders. We've all seen "Alpha" men that are for the lack of a better term "Worthless humans" and we've also seen extremely feminine women sleep around and branch swing as if it's an addiction. Could both these cases and similar cases be founded from mental disorders ?

We've also made a meme out of the "Crazy-Hot" scale for women or the abusive ex bf that women keep going back to. I think I know that my next degree is going to be in psychology just to get a better understanding of what people think about and how it lines up with red pill thinking.

No one with self respect "handles" that bs ol

I agree with that. Being in a relationship with BPD wears you down over time. I bet Brad Pitt thought he was super alpha with Angelina Jolie (suspected of having BPD) but in the end he still got cheated on and got treated like $hit in the divorce.

 

[typical]

That's not "BPD". What you are describing is downright criminal behaviour combined with a sense of invincibility (i.e. that she can get away with breaking all sorts of laws, like buying illicit drugs and DUI, because her ex-cop boyfriend will keep her out of trouble). And your friend's reaction is not "compassion". It's downright stupidity. One day, this c*ke wh*re will get him into serious trouble. People like that have a way of ruining the lives of everyone around them. I do not buy his story about the deep emotional connection either. He just doesn't want to lose access to that pvssy because he's not confident that he'll find a suitable replacement.

This is exactly my thoughts on his situation. As a childhood friend I’ll be sticking by his side and as an experiment I can safely observe and report back every few months on how this progresses. Till now I haven’t really looked into it deeply just posted up my limited observation and his answer to some of my questions.

If it were me I would have left her after a few weeks once I saw the telltale signs as I just don’t have the time to “nurture” a grown adult.