Boys I neeed you help right now!

[frivolousz21]

alright as we all know..dont stalk ur gf..but then again when u come accross things you should check

never can be 100 percent sure.

well I saw this message she wrote a friend.


Sure! How much does it cost?...i am not so sure if i can go if it costs alot...i am sorta runnin tight on cash these days- small issues but-eh. I also have work til 9:30 that night BUT i can totally be at your crib by 10 or so for a wiiild night. Too bad we have no APT to go to afterward!!!...I do have work at 10 the next day tho so i cant get totally drunk...but I can let some peeps buy me shots... I LOVE U!!! call me 2 let me know the details my lovely buttercup...


this is too a female friend.

now I realize in no way shape or form this message means Im goign to get cheated on...or am gettin cheated on.


listen to me...I have had a past where ive controlled and nearly abused someone before..because of my trust issues.

I have that feeling inside me now....I know that email is probably pretty harmless....maybe its not..who knows.


but more importantly its the way Im feeling inside...if she loves me..I could control this and ruin it and ruin myself again..and I cant do that....I need to calm down and not let my emotions control me!

suggestions!

 

[thefonz]

sorry.but.the.spacebar.doesn't.work.on.school.comp.....accept/the/idea/that/she/may/be/cheating/and/realize/that/you/CAN/get/other/women.if.worse.comes.to.worse.....you.sound.like.you.could.use.some.meditation.in.your.life.....zen.focuses.on.everything.you.see,hear,and.feel.AT.THE.VERY.MOMENT....i'vebeen.doing.it.since.last.October.and.I.am.much.camler.and.in.control.of.my.thoughts.than.i.thought.was.possible

 

[runnincircles]

Let your girlfriend have some space. Just because she wants to go spend some time with her friend, doesn't mean you have to know everything about it.

Just talk to your gf about it, ask her what they're gonna go do, and then let her go. Show her that you trust her, it'll pay off later.

 

[frivolousz21]

its not about that!

its about the anger inside and the jealousy..

u have to understand....
my father beat me and mom as kids..ive been burned by everyone ive cared about nearly everyone.


I thought this was over..I went to therapy and now its there..thats anger and animosity is there.


I think therapy or meditation is right for me.

 

[Black_Italian]

Originally posted by frivolousz21
alright as we all know..dont stalk ur gf..but then again when u come accross things you should check

Ahh this post can only go down hill from here.

I got a few questions:
-Are you completely sure this was to a female friend she was messaging?

-could your GF be BI?

I have never in my 19 year on this world heard a girl refer to another girl as "my buttercup" but she calls you "my prince" so id imagine she’s a lil bit of a nutter.

If you are afraid your GF is cheating then you are effectively doubting you Dj skills and if you are doubting you Dj skill then you need to work on them.

 

[frivolousz21]

is more about my gf not cheated as much as it is about me having the feelings of anger and jealousy..which would lead to the destruction of this.

and yea she was mailing her friend liz...and she is nutty with calling people wierd names...she is really a nerdy awesome women.


this is a internal thing I need to deal with

 

[Black_Italian]

Oh sorry i misread your post. Man your only option is therapy as much as people here like to think they are phsycolgist they realy arent. Seek professional help to get over your trust issues and ignore my previous post.

 

[frivolousz21]

alright man...

my thing is:

should I tell her about this trust problem? she knows I have issues with trust to some extent but not like this.
hell until today I didnt know I did

also should I space from her while im seeking help for this??

 

[Black_Italian]

Depends how long you have been going out and on her personality. I know some girls would feel very uncomfortable if a guy opens up like that. On the other hand some girls will like it.

The way you describe her she sounds open minded so I don’t think telling her would be a negative. So go ahead and tell her just don’t start crying and sh*t.

There is no reason to space from her that i see. I think that’s a question you would need to ask the therapist. She/He will make a decision based on what they believe is best for you. In my opinion they would say don’t space away because she would be an ideal tool in learning to trust people.

Also I think you should get a female therapist they would be easier to open up to. Im not talking from experience so I cant be sure but I think they would be.

Hope I helped man

Ninja Out

 

[frivolousz21]

thanks Ninja....yea she is open minded and she loves me...this is going to really hurt her.


im not sure what to do..I want to talk to her about it and she how she feels wth it.


also I wont cry and shyt like that...I am pissed I cant control this more than anything....this fycing sucks..and I dont want to take her down with me.

as for my girl..


we met nearly 2 yrs ago...dated for a month..

but didnt go anywhere we were to far apart then

she was church girl...I was pot head.

anyways things changed we remained talking for that time....and talked more and more this past yr and realized we were more compatible now..meet up and fell in love...it was always there and waiting to happen.

I have been dealing with trusting her before this..and then i saw this and over reacted..and felt that betrayal rage inside so i called her left a message not mean just that I wanted to talk to her about it....so she will call me when she gets off work.

man I just dont want to bring her down with me..im not repeated my past nor my fathers past

 

[Q-Pid]

Originally posted by frivolousz21
this is a internal thing I need to deal with

We can't help you then.

 

[DJ_in_making]

Originally posted by thefonz
sorry.but.the.spacebar.doesn't.work.on.school.comp.....

LMFAO:crackup:

 

[Lost In Translation]

Talking about your problem is the answer

BUT

and listen close !

DO NOT TELL YOUR GF YOUR PROBLEM UNLESS YOU WANT HER TO GO BYE BYE

comprendo ? you tell the chick you are a basket case and she will fly south


now talking about you problem on an internet forum is a step in the right direction

my advice is get one of your friends who has had a hard life and been through some $hit. sit down with him have a few beers and tell him your problem. ask him when he gets angry or upset with himself or life how he copes

you are net savy so look up anger problems and whatever your issues are. look at what they are suggesting you do to deal with them. if any of them make sense to you maybe try them out.

hire out or better yet buy the DVD movie : ANGER MANAGMENT

watch and get some ideas


the other thing is anger is not always bad


your woman should be volunteering the information of what she is up to and where she is going

you in a serious relationship and your woman wants to go get blind drunk and sleep at someone elses APT ( apartment ) ?

why when she could be with her man ?

either you doing something wrong or SHE IS WRONG

what up ?


Lost In Translation

**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**

 

[NewMan]

you have to be more logical about these kinds of things.

From where is your anger coming - and to whom is it directed?

the other aspect of things is this - that if you hold onto your girl to tight - she will slip away.

Controlling someone - as you've pointed out - is not the solution.

So what is?

This goes all the way back to the DJ principles.

1) Focus on YOURSELF
2) Don't derive happiness from a woman
3) live life on YOUR terms.
etc etc.

As far as I can see - your not doing ny of these things.


I personally was obsessed with an old GF I have. Jealousy, anger, rage. My mind would go crazy thinking about what she was doing - who she was with etc. etc. etc.

Did it do me any good? nope.

now I'm a different man - a new man. I don't let me womans decisions effect my life. I control what happens in my life not her. I don't react to the things she does - I make the things happen.

You need to adjust your mindset.

and never bring this type of thing up with a woman.

 

[Hellboy]

Originally posted by NewMan
never bring this type of thing up with a woman.

One of most attractive traits a man can possess is self control. If you try to bring this up and attempt to rationalise it verbally, then you are demonstrating a significant weakness that will dissolve her feelings towards you (even if she appears to be understanding about it). Jealousy, possessiveness and anger - all are based on insecurity and are therefore personality defects you can remedy.
Self control = confidence --> love and wet knickers
Jealousy/Anger = Insecurity --> pity and resentment
So no, don't try to come clean about this. Instead figure out ways to tackle your emotions. Try visiting this site for tips.

On the other hand, the message did seem a little suspicious to me. I am more wary of other girls than other guys with my girlfriend. Most goth girls have bisexual tendencies and they can be pretty shameless too when it comes to relationships. I trust my girl though. If she was as close to another girl as your message would suggest, I would know about it by now and would be pretty suspicious. But I wouldn't let my suspicion show. Instead I'd give her the benefit of the doubt and ascertain maturely whether I have justification in feeling this way.