Friday 4.7.2006
I'm feeling one-itis today. Its been four weeks. This is normal right, after four weeks? I am kind of down on myself and is thinking of my ex. It has been a bit tough today in that sense. I am still getting over it, but damnit, I want this feeling to be completely gone. No, there is no way I will contact her, don't you guys worry about it.
Drill and Kill. I like that. Thanks for the feedback man. I need it. I do enjoy approaching or else I wouldn't do it. It is still uncomortable at most times.
FR: Attracton to Comfort Building with Older Women
Went to engagement party. One women was quiet taken by me, she was for a little while but this is the first time I spend time talking to her. She knows me through where I work. She used to work there. I met her once previously, but I had a g/f at the time. She is a looker. HB7.5. Nice set up on top. She is older in her late 30s, early 40s.
Everything went great. She is a touch person = good sign. Made her laugh, teased her. I build up a lot of value.
2 hours later I walked her to her car,
Me: I had a lot of fun, I want to see you again. Let me get your number
She started to write her number down.
Me: Are you free on saturdays and sundays?
Her: I'm a busy women, I like to keep busy. Keeps me out of my head.
Me:" I know what you mean, I'm similar"
Her: Yeah? I like to play, I play alot, are you down to play.
Me: I love to play
Her: bye
Me: bye
What? Play = sex. I take it. Now how do I make that transition? I don't have any experience in doing that. Do I take her somewhere for a couple of drinks? Then go from there? What do I do and how do I take those next steps to her bed? When do I call? When do I set soemthing up? and How do I escalate? -- Problems
I got advice from other forum and one guy who has a lot of experience with this told me to
“You could have had sex after that conversation. Now that you haven't, wait until next wednesday and call her: "Hey this is Alex, you free to play on Friday night? I'll pick you up for some drinks" If she says she is busy, tell her she has your number and she can call you when she is free. Older women don't like BS. Hit her hard or leave the ball in her court and leave. trust me, I have a lot of experience in this.”
I will probably end up doing that. I’m not sure why to wait that long, but I have no experience and that guy has had a lot of it.
FR: Approach #18 Bar (midnight – 2am) – total of 4 approaches but will count as 1
This was the most discomforting time I have had yet. I have to put myself out there and endure through this discomfort. I went to the bar by myself. Doing that I think took a lot of balls alone. It’s a tough venue, meat market at prime time. Tough for me because I have not done something like that ever before. I’ve been to bars, but usually with friends or my ex g/f. Not with intention to game. Wow, was it tough, but I really enjoyed it and tried stuff out. B1tich shields were full blast and it made it more challenging.
I want to mention I enjoy doing this. But through social and mental conditioning that I held previously I feel extremely uncomfortable in such social situations. Once I get used I tend to become the guy people want to be around. Its like when you get to know someone you see there true potential come out, but before they are just too damn shy. That’s me. So this is tough for me but I am going to keep doing this until it is second nature.
Approach Bar #1:
Standing next to 3 girls. HB8, HB7, HB8. Band was playing full blast and I couldn’t really say much. Inbetween songs, I turned to them.
Me: Did you know this band was on Jay Leno?
HB8: Really?
Me: Yeah, but they ended up being cut out.
HB7: (joining in) What?
HB8: This band was in Jay Leno
HB7: Really?
Me: Yes. As soon as they found out the band does only cover songs, they cut the segment out. But they still played.
HB8: Wow, that’s impressive.
Song started. Loud again. Some guy was walking by and used a cheesy ass line to one of the girls.
Me: What did he say to you?
HB8: He said “you are the most beautiful girl here”.
Me: Because that works all the time
HB8: I know, its like let me give you my number right now!
After that, there wasn’t much I did. Few minutes later I walked away, but I did introduce myself and said to them to have a good night. Problem building value and transitioning from the opener.
Approach Bar #2:
Two girls are sitting on the sofa.
Me: You realize its been an hour since I walked through here and you are still in the same spot?
HB5: We were sober, we are trying to get drunk.
Me: What are you drinking?
HB5: Martini
Me: good choice
Through body language they had b1tch shields up. And once again, I need to work on my transitioning to something else.
Approach Bar #3:
At the bar. Two girls come up. HB9 and HB8. Stand right next to me as I order a drink. I drank coke all night long. Trying to get away from alcohole, as liquid courage.
I look over at one and touch her hair.
Me: Wow, what do you use? You hair is so soft.
HB9: Nothing.
Me: BS, there is no way you can have that and use nothing.
HB9: Its natural, that is why it feels like that, because I use all natural
Me: You got a point.
I do the same thing to her friend.
Me: Man, you too?
After that I walk away and I can see them talking among each other. I have no idea what they said, but I don’t care. No transition. Work on that.
Approach Bar #4:
I stand next to 2 older middle age women and one guy with them. I look at her and smile. She smiles back.
Me: Hi
HB6: You here by yourself?
Me: (bs) No, I’m with friends, they are off somewhere and I am the designated driver
HB6: What are you drinking
Me: Coke.
HB6: Good for you
Me: You?
HB6: Her drink choice
Me: Good for you.
After that we go on a conversation that lasts pretty much for about 20-30 minutes. I get introduced to her 2 friends and up until I leave I talk to them and stand in their little group. When I leave I hug the two women and shake the guys hand and head home.
Tough uncomfortable night with a lot of progress. Got to go through this in order to succeed. Failure isn’t an option my friends. Not anymore. No excuses.
Key Factors:
- I tend to do good on openers
- Smile a lot more
- I try not to be the googling guy who stares at women and they think he is creepy. I check them out, but I try not to do so where it looks desprate and needy
- I’m growing more balls to approach
- More kino then ever before.
Improve on:
- Transitioning from opener to attraction and comfort building. Showing value and enjoying the interaction. Happened a few times.
- Show more sexual, horny side. I seem too uncomfortable in my skin. That makes me less confident and body language shows that.
Cold Approach: 1 (18/100) since 03.25.06
DJ BootCamp Week 1: 20/50 Hellos