Bought her a gift…she’s acting weird

[TheManMasenko]

CONTEXT
Hey guys..so I’ve been talking to this girl for about 3 months and we been official for 1 month.

The past 4 weeks she’s been real loving and consistently texting, night calls etc etc. But now after valentine times day, she’s been weird. I bought her a gift ($200) only because she promised me to get me XYZ, instead she only got X. Truthfully, I’m upset about that.

I told her I love her and all this dumb ****, which I didn’t mean but kinda did mean. It felt right.

I even cut all most my other side chicks for her.
We’re both 23 Y.O.

MY ISSUE + QUESTIONs
She’s been acting weird and not giving that previous love. She let me hit whenever I want but acts different. The energy is OFFFFF. I feel she lost respect for me. I want to hit but I don’t want to be attached to this girl and want to keep our relationship.


How should I play this? Any advice..

 

[BillyPilgrim]

This isn't going to help now, but going forward try to time your relationships so that you're single around V-day. Too many potential pitfalls.

 

[Mike32ct]

This isn't going to help now, but going forward try to time your relationships so that you're single around V-day. Too many potential pitfalls.

I usually end up meeting a chick two or three weeks before V-D. Then the holiday is really weird because we are nowhere near “in a relationship” when V-D arrives.

I agree it’s better to be single and sit that holiday out. Or have a solid relationship of at least three months before V-D. Otherwise, it’s just awkward.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

1.) Never give her gifts unless she really deserves it. Giving gifts to girls is what AFCs does. Especially expensive gifts. It shows your weakness/neediness.
2.) Never ever tell a girl that you like here first, even worse tell her that you love her. You just demystified yourself.

She’s been acting weird and not giving that previous love. She let me hit whenever I want but acts different. The energy is OFFFFF

Sorry to break the spell for you but you lost it because of the mistakes above.

I feel she lost respect for me.

That is what happens when you do these blue pilled things. Women like to figure you out and you just throwed all of you on the table for everyone to see.

Remember: She was never really yours, it was just your time.

 

[Stuffnu]

One zero too many for a VD gift in a new relationship.
You‘re love bombing her and she’s retracting.
Do the same and chill out.

 

[HaleyBaron]

One of the ten commandments of the playerhood is to never buy a woman a gift. If you get her anything, make it seem more like you're appreciating her being a good f*ck. Women want men, and only women gift.

 

[Bokanovsky]

In fairness, there could be other reasons, unrelated to the gift, why she is withdrawing: love bombing, saying "I love you" too fast, having second thoughts, being interested in someone else, etc.

 

[Kotaix]

CONTEXT
Hey guys..so I’ve been talking to this girl for about 3 months and we been official for 1 month.

The past 4 weeks she’s been real loving and consistently texting, night calls etc etc. But now after valentine times day, she’s been weird. I bought her a gift ($200) only because she promised me to get me XYZ, instead she only got X. Truthfully, I’m upset about that.

I told her I love her and all this dumb ****, which I didn’t mean but kinda did mean. It felt right.

I even cut all most my other side chicks for her.
We’re both 23 Y.O.

MY ISSUE + QUESTIONs
She’s been acting weird and not giving that previous love. She let me hit whenever I want but acts different. The energy is OFFFFF. I feel she lost respect for me. I want to hit but I don’t want to be attached to this girl and want to keep our relationship.


How should I play this? Any advice..

Red Pill 101: You are not entitled to anything because you've done a bunch of things for her. Never expect any kind of reward for your actions and you'll be on a better path.

 

[Smok1nAce]

CONTEXT
Hey guys..so I’ve been talking to this girl for about 3 months and we been official for 1 month.

The past 4 weeks she’s been real loving and consistently texting, night calls etc etc. But now after valentine times day, she’s been weird. I bought her a gift ($200) only because she promised me to get me XYZ, instead she only got X. Truthfully, I’m upset about that.

I told her I love her and all this dumb ****, which I didn’t mean but kinda did mean. It felt right.

I even cut all most my other side chicks for her.
We’re both 23 Y.O.

MY ISSUE + QUESTIONs
She’s been acting weird and not giving that previous love. She let me hit whenever I want but acts different. The energy is OFFFFF. I feel she lost respect for me. I want to hit but I don’t want to be attached to this girl and want to keep our relationship.


How should I play this? Any advice..

This reads like it was written by a 16 year old girl.
The problem with alot of you youngins is you all seem to have feminine energy and ways.


firstly what do you want? get a grip dude.

you said you love her, but you dont really mean it, but you do?
you want to keep the relationship but not be attached..ok...but you cut off all you other hoes and told her?

 

[Kdw8]

In fairness, there could be other reasons, unrelated to the gift, why she is withdrawing: love bombing, saying "I love you" too fast, having second thoughts, being interested in someone else, etc.

I recently heard the phrase love bombing on Twitter. Guess a lot of women are becoming "woke", and creating new darn phrases for perfectly normal things.

 

[Striker_93]

Sounds like she might be losing interest, most likely has nothing to do with the gifts.

Follow your gut, if you feel something is off then it is.

I don't really have any tips for you, just continue to follow your instincts.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You are moving way too fast and are way too excited to be in this relationship with her and she can sense it. If you are moving faster than a woman in a relationship it starts feeling "weird" and that's when things start going downhill.

She should be having to try and pull you along in the beginning and having to work to get you in a relationship. The reward for her hard work is you agreeing to be in the relationship with her. You are doing all the work for her and then showing her how important she is to you as if you are afraid of losing her showering her with gifts and moving quickly. A $200 gift for a woman you've been dating 3 months?? A card and maybe some flowers at best for that length of time.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

CONTEXT
Hey guys..so I’ve been talking to this girl for about 3 months and we been official for 1 month.

The past 4 weeks she’s been real loving and consistently texting, night calls etc etc. But now after valentine times day, she’s been weird. I bought her a gift ($200) only because she promised me to get me XYZ, instead she only got X. Truthfully, I’m upset about that.

I told her I love her and all this dumb ****, which I didn’t mean but kinda did mean. It felt right.

I even cut all most my other side chicks for her.
We’re both 23 Y.O.

MY ISSUE + QUESTIONs
She’s been acting weird and not giving that previous love. She let me hit whenever I want but acts different. The energy is OFFFFF. I feel she lost respect for me. I want to hit but I don’t want to be attached to this girl and want to keep our relationship.


How should I play this? Any advice..

You buttered her up on v-day and she got knocked off by someone after you dropped her off that night. Women love scandals.

 

[spred]

OP, don’t buy gifts for women because it looks like you want to buy something from her with the gift. Gifts are for wife or long time partner.
Women fall in love much slower, 3 months is not enough. You are rushing her into relationship mode, she helps you by being chill and distant to signal you this.

 

[Plank]

Here is what I think. Other please DJ's correct me if I am wrong.

Since you both have been just together for 3 months. A $200 gift is too expensive, and she is feeling you are moving way too fast.
You might think it's OK for you to give gift, but all she saw that you got too much desire for her, and she is too important for you.

I learned this the hard way. Always give gift as a reward. It's just valentine day, no need to get a expensive gift , unless it's been like year together.

She also might be **** testing you. Just play it cool. Don't get angry or fed up. Just keep talking to her as if it never happened and everything is fine.

Also DO NOT fall in the trap of giving other gifts, to get her affection back. We guys have a tendency to do that.
Just give it some time and be cool. Keep telling yourself IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL.

She'll come around.

 

[SW15]

I usually end up meeting a chick two or three weeks before V-D. Then the holiday is really weird because we are nowhere near “in a relationship” when V-D arrives.

I agree it’s better to be single and sit that holiday out. Or have a solid relationship of at least three months before V-D. Otherwise, it’s just awkward.

This timing seems normal to me. The second week of November-January 1 is essentially a dead zone for starting new relationships with new prospects via either swipe apps or cold approaching. The only exception for starting new relationships in the November/December period is social circle stuff. Most men on SoSuave are not guys meeting women through their social circles. It's essentially impossible to see someone with enough regularity during this period with family obligations and work holiday parties for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's. Come January 2, there are a lot of PISSED off and motivated singles who just went through a miserable holiday season. They were likely the only single or one of the few single ones at family gatherings and they didn't have a midnight kiss on December 31. These sorts of things can be emotionally upsetting to single members of both sexes.

In the first couple weeks of January, there are a lot of motivated singles on the websites and swipe apps. Additionally, with in-person approaches, if you spend time doing approaches in single dense parts of your metro area, you can tap into the motivated singles phenomenon and people are cheerful with a new year. The pent up demand from the impossibility of starting something new late in the year + the cheer of a new year can lead to new relationship formation in January, leading to an awkward Valentine's Day because you're only 3-5 weeks into something.

1.) Never give her gifts unless she really deserves it. Giving gifts to girls is what AFCs does. Especially expensive gifts. It shows your weakness/neediness.
2.) Never ever tell a girl that you like here first, even worse tell her that you love her. You just demystified yourself.

Remember: She was never really yours, it was just your time.

Very true on the gift giving thing. This is why Valentine's Day can be confusing outside of the context of an established LTR.

 

[Dr.Suave]

If you are moving faster than a woman in a relationship it starts feeling "weird" and that's when things start going downhill.

This! Girls hate it when you are falling faster than them or show more affection than them. Its like a red flag for them.

 

[Glassguy]

First off, if OP likes this chick then $200 for a gift on Vday after dating for 3 months is not that big of a deal. At least it shouldnt be.

The problem lies with this chick OP. Not you. But here you are so you have 2 optoins:

1.) Ask her directly why things feel "off". If she plays it off and says "Nothing is wrong" and still acts weird, you proceed to step 2 (or you can go to step 2 altogether and skip step 1). If she tells you that something in particular is bothering her, you discuss it and decide if this chick is someone you want to continue dating.

2.) Silence and Distance. Just stop initiating ALL communication. If she reaches out, she reaches out. If she doesnt, she doesnt. She will either fizzle away or come back stronger.

You never know what happened. Maybe her ex came back in the picture around Vday. It happens. My gut feeling would be that someone reappeared from the past, which is why she didnt financially invest in you the way she said she would (actions>words) and also the reason why she acted weird after you gave her the gift.......she knows that she is not THAT invested in you due to someone else or she just realized that she is unsure of dating you.

Get to the point with her and move forward either way. And you know what? This planet is loaded with hot chicks. So youll be fine either way.

I typically dont let chicks determine things as I make MY OWN MIND UP based on their behaviors and kick them to the curb when they start acting "weird".

Good luck

 

[Glassguy]

This! Girls hate it when you are falling faster than them or show more affection than them. Its like a red flag for them.

Which is why Silence and Distance (essentially a major pull back) is effective in this situation.

A man cant chase a woman if she is chasing him.

 

[dude99]

CONTEXT
Hey guys..so I’ve been talking to this girl for about 3 months and we been official for 1 month.

The past 4 weeks she’s been real loving and consistently texting, night calls etc etc. But now after valentine times day, she’s been weird. I bought her a gift ($200) only because she promised me to get me XYZ, instead she only got X. Truthfully, I’m upset about that.

I told her I love her and all this dumb ****, which I didn’t mean but kinda did mean. It felt right.

I even cut all most my other side chicks for her.
We’re both 23 Y.O.

MY ISSUE + QUESTIONs
She’s been acting weird and not giving that previous love. She let me hit whenever I want but acts different. The energy is OFFFFF. I feel she lost respect for me. I want to hit but I don’t want to be attached to this girl and want to keep our relationship.


How should I play this? Any advice..

Sounds like the typical behaviour when a girl starts to get new attention from a new guy. You notice a 'shift' in her behaviour.

She could be entertaining the idea of branch swinging she could just be cooling off because she isn't sure about new guy yet. In any case her behaviour changed and it is obvious.

It was a mistake to tell her you love her. You destroyed challenge. She now knows she has you and doesn't even need to try.

My advice is to mirror her actions. She has pulled back. You do the same. Get busy do your own thing. Put her on the back burner.

If she reaches out and wants to make things work, then make her work for it. Become the challenge she needs. If she doesn't reach out then go date other women. No sweat. Just move on.

Usually the the shift doen't come until later but you telling her you love her could have sped up the drop in her interest level.

Keep your head up. Do your thing.