Bored With our Realtionship

[kk2004]

Okay guys, me and my gf have been going out for three months now. ITs been good. Sex has been okay. We talk everyday. She usually calls me. I just feel like she is getting bored with me.
The reason I feel that way is bcuz the tone in her voice when she talks to me. She has lost that excitment and that voice of suspence. I have become the mundane part of her life. I am still a challenge. I crack on her and make fun of her. Its just that our convos have become dull, and i tired to spice them up, I mean we talk about sex ALL the time. She even wants to get married and and have kids with me. IM 18! thats scary but I CUD see myself with her. SHe is pretty cool, she fits what i want.

But when I tlak to her, i want the convos to be mentally stimulating and I want her to LAUGH. Humor is so key. Its just feels like im being boring to her.

I tried reading the bibble and and the articles on sosuave.com (not the forum). I came away with two principles.

1) - Dont try to impress her, when u try thats when they push away from u.
2) - the key to conversation is listining.

NOW i tired both of these principles but they dont work or im making a mistake. I tired paying attention and listining to her, and tried to "visualize" what she was saying and in my mind i didnt consider her a task or objective to be completed but just a person to talk to with no need of me to impress her.

But i still cant Think of stuff to say. I just ask dumb boring questions, when i know i shouldnt be, cuz i cant think of anything better.

I think this shud be called "dj's block"

anyway, any0one ou there with any advice

 

[G-Man UK]

The way I see it, it's all about striking a balance. Make her laugh but not too much, ask her boring questions like 'how was your day?' but not too much. Another thing is the more you think about what she is thinking the harder it is for you to think of something interesting to say.

Just play it cool, don't talk about sex too much because she will start to find that boring too. Just mix it up and take her to some new places you have'nt been to before as this will give you new, interesting things to talk about.

Good luck.

G-man

 

[kk2004]

ic

I just find it hard for what i think up of in my head to go and verbalize it. Like ill have a thought in my head and when it comes out it sounds bad and disjointed.

 

[spider_007]

there is so many ways to spice things up. Suprise her with something really fun to do (on the spot). MAKE HER FEEL THINGS. She is a woman, there fore very emotional being. you have to make her feel a whole veriety of things; jalleousy, mistery, excitement, enticipation......and do it all with out looking like you are trying to do those things....take her skydiving one day-without telling here where your going.....take her out to a local parkinglot (where there is lot of people) and fvck her....don't answer you phone for a couple of days.....let her see you talking to you female friends (and having fun, withouth her)......

 

[chance]

Originally posted by spider_007
there is so many ways to spice things up. Suprise her with something really fun to do (on the spot). MAKE HER FEEL THINGS. She is a woman, there fore very emotional being. you have to make her feel a whole veriety of things; jalleousy, mistery, excitement, enticipation......and do it all with out looking like you are trying to do those things....take her skydiving one day-without telling here where your going.....take her out to a local parkinglot (where there is lot of people) and fvck her....don't answer you phone for a couple of days.....let her see you talking to you female friends (and having fun, withouth her)......

why do we need to make our gfs jealous? why do we need to ignore them for a couple days? what if we don't want to do this? sure it helps with their interest level but doesn't that suck having to ignore someone and make them jealous when you don't want to? just wondering.

 

[spider_007]

the point is to wake up the feelings of exitement in her. Jalleousy is a wery powerfull thing as long as you don't cross the line. If she sees you talking to some female friend of yours, and she is wondering if she is losing you, it will make her feel a very powerfull emotin.....And as long as you warn't really flirting with the gurl, or trying to pick her up, you ARE NOT IN THE WRONG...... all that depends on the relation ship, and the people involved (how much of a player you are)..... The whole point is; try and inicate a whole bunch of different feelings in her to spice things up. Some of which may be a little painfull for her, but she will apreciate, respect, and love you more at the end.

 

[frivolousz21]

don't answer you phone for a couple of days.....let her see you talking to you female friends (and having fun, withouth her)......

if you have to do this..she shouldnt be ur gf in the first place.

Some of which may be a little painfull for her, but she will apreciate, respect, and love you more at the end.

I dont know what kind of wierdo women are out there.

but if I decided to not call my gf or answer for 2 full days...she wouldnt respect me more.

she would be hurt and think im a fycking *******.

 

[frivolousz21]

if you cant talk to her and have it flow....

then your with the wrong women..plain and simple.

 

[kk2004]

i did

Well its funny cuz i did something like that.

Last week, i went to my frat house and i dint answer my phone. I told her I was gonna go to a Bar then to a club.
She got upset. She told me that she got a little jealous when the thought of me dancing with other gurls like i do with her crossed her mind. She told me that she doenst like me going to a bar and then to a club. Cuz i have had a few and then i might make out with other gurls. I asked her if she wud get mad if i flirted with another woman in front of her. SHe told me "YEs, i wud get so mad, i dont know what i wud do, that woud be so bad i mean i cudnt even think about that" So i got jealousy down. ANd i dont want to do it often. NO i DO WANT to talk to her eveeryday thas messed p if i ignore her

I need help with humor and flow. any tips or posts u can direct me too in the bible. I read all the convo posts.

 

[spider_007]

droping everything to talk to her, shows her that you might not have a life, let her miss you a bit. If you talk to her every day (hour a day) eventually you WILL RUN OUT OF THINGS TO TALK ABOUT. it happens to merried couples all the time. And it's the guys foult cause he can't keep up the mistory (ya i know it's probably spelled wrong).

 

[kk2004]

ic

well we dont tlak for an hour maybe like 30 min and i dont drop everything to talk to her i tell her ill call her back when im busy and its just that its always boring topic after another. I cant think of saying anything interesting to say when I have a convo with her and vice versa. Even though what she says intrests me more. I usually have boring answers. This has been bothering me. I usallly dont think about it much.

 

[frivolousz21]

NO i DO WANT to talk to her eveeryday thas messed p if i ignore her

im not saying talk to her for an hour a day.

but 3 months in you should still be in the high emotional stage..

you should be excited to talk to her and see her each time.


also dont lie to yourself you want to talk to everyday..if ur "in love"

are u really in love and is she?

be honest?

 

[kk2004]

yeah

yes she is in love, i do beloeve it and so am i. Its not that im bored its that she is BORED or at least i think

 

[frivolousz21]

at 3 months..she cant be IN LOVE with you and be bored.

 

[MidnightResistance]

Outdoor activity is the key here.

I'd recommend Paintball.
Fast, Violent, painful, competitive.

 

[WORKEROUTER]

KK:

You are not being a challenge to her, at all. This is all just notions you have formed in your head.

Why do I say this? First off, you talk to her EVERY DAY. Secondly, you say you are in LOVE (WTF?!). Thirdly, you say you "cud" end up getting married with her (again, WTF??!).

With these kind of thoughts polluting your head, it is impossible for you to be a challenge.

Wake up, man. Stop being AFC.

Don't talk to her every day. You are not in love her. She is not in love with you. You will not marry this girl (especially with the way it's going).

 

[darthsidious]

teenagers.

 

[Faded Image]

If you're worried about your girl being bored with you, obviously you're putting all your dignity and self worth within this girl's happiness. You can't force or plan for things to be fun. Maybe she just not a fun person to be with overall and uses you as someone to talk to. I know I like having fun. If I'm with a girl that that brings that bored atmosphere, I'll find another girl to have fun with.
Learn how to have fun by yourself and then hang around people that are fun to chill with. By this girl seeming bored, makes your life miserable cause (F.U.N.) is an emotion like all other emotions; Very contagious.

If it's not what I pointed out above then maybe she's just losing interest in you all together. She’s probably formed her perception of you being a boring person and it’s no changing that because it’s set in her mind.

I'm out

Mr. Unobtainable

 

[chance]

Originally posted by spider_007
the point is to wake up the feelings of exitement in her. Jalleousy is a wery powerfull thing as long as you don't cross the line. If she sees you talking to some female friend of yours, and she is wondering if she is losing you, it will make her feel a very powerfull emotin.....And as long as you warn't really flirting with the gurl, or trying to pick her up, you ARE NOT IN THE WRONG...... all that depends on the relation ship, and the people involved (how much of a player you are)..... The whole point is; try and inicate a whole bunch of different feelings in her to spice things up. Some of which may be a little painfull for her, but she will apreciate, respect, and love you more at the end.

that's right, it's very powerful. speaking of jealousy. i remember with my ex, i don't know why but i used to tell her about girls that check me out when i went out alone. she was so worried she asked my friend (another girl) why i keep telling her that.

a good thing about your gf being jealous is when you aren't doing it on purpose.

example; you bump into a girl you haven't seen in a long time and she see's you laughing and getting along with the person.

not your fault that you bumped into her... not your fault that you're friends. so that's okay in the jealous department. inevitable.

 

[JPR]

I'll say playa bit of let her miss you game. It should spice things up and give you a little bit of room to come up with new conversation topics.

Like for example this weekend me and a few buddies went 4wheeling in the mountains and had no cell service there honestly So no conversations for 2 days with anyone. When we got back to civilization my phone started beeping like crazy, turns out I had 6 voice mails. And you know damn well I told her that the phone is gona be out of service no point to even bother calling me. BTW besides that I aquired a bunch of new experiences I could talk about and share to keep the conversation interesting. Like when we winched up the coolers with food up a tree away from the bears. Chicks dig adventure stories Well were affraid of the bears too LOL I dunno if there were any around but we were not gona find out and be left with no food.