Hey, I was being cordial. They started slamming me. I was simply trying to help people look at things from a different perspective, and question why they not only have to go up to random women, but random people in general that have no relevance in their every day life.
I was the same way. I’ve read this forum for a long time before recently registering, and followed a lot of the same advice you guys did. Even the guys who most think “have it figured out” still can’t get over the most basic of hurdles. It continues to be the same guys with the same obstacles asking advice to the same problems. Wielding a simple search of some usernames uncovers this. It began to dawn on me that the rationality of this forum was in left field.
Like for example that big multiple page thread about going to the bar alone. The majority said “If you’re confident, it doesn’t matter. Who cares what other people think!” Only a few people came in and said it didn’t look right – and they were roasted for it. It’s not a matter of WHAT people think, it’s a matter of WHY are you there by yourself on a weekend to begin with? Cute girls who go to the bars have an active life with many friends, some of whom are probably at the bar with her. Hell most even run into more people they know when they’re there. Then all of a sudden some random guy walks up to her and tries to get her number. C’mon man, you don’t think they notice this? If you’re assuming I think they have no friends, I’m seriously beginning to wonder where they are. Don’t tell me he just moved to a new city and doesn’t know anyone.
No guy I know who gets girls has ever, EVER walked into a bar by himself. He’s never had to. He was surrounded by friends, some of those were female friends. They got to the bar and met up with more people. After a while, THEN he might have mingled with some of those cuties at the bar.
It’s crucial that someone just coming into the game has the right knowledge in front of them, and this is why I dislike bootcamps so much. It steers them in the wrong direction. People around here seem to think going out and saying “Hi” to random people and initiating exchanges is getting them on the right track. This is actually giving guys a false representation of conversations that are going to be taking place with people they would normally communicate with, which is really going to hurt them with women down the road. Not to mention it promotes putting people aside they DO normally congregate with, to instead striking up conversations with complete strangers. I knew proper etiquette of handling myself in front of people I didn’t know when I was 6. Why would you shun people in your everyday life (your social network) by going out of your way asking questions and establishing communications with people you DON’T know? Does that make sense? These guys need to learn social skills in front of people they DO know. And that’s what this is about. It has nothing to do with confidence. It’s a social deficiency issue. They have to get involved. What’s going to happen is they’re going to end up being left behind. Not only with women, but with other male friends and activities that would give them a better opportunity in succeeding.
What’s even more frightening is these bootcamp lessons go on over the course of WEEKS. They take things really, reeeally slow like they’re back in kindergarten and put everything else on the backburner. It actually tells them to do things they already know how to do. It’s psyching guys out and not helping their progress, while separating them from their peers. So if you want to promote that kind of thinking, that’s your right – but don’t get aggravated at me when I interject.
