Day 4 Week 1
Earlier this afternoon I spent some devoted time developing my public speaking skills using a mirror. Sim's Style! I discussed things with myself that I felt I needed to be reaffirmed. Like what it means to be an Alpha, and how some of the "guru's" concepts fit into my own world view. I also discussed what I'm looking for in a woman. In the end I must say it was pretty fun, and in some ways I attribute it to getting me loosened up for tonight.
I arrived at the mall. I sat in the car for awhile and noted that I felt absolutely no pressure what so ever. It was immediately that I walked through the door that I got my 16th, "Hello." I then casually walked into the Salon and just as I had envisioned... the girl at the counter is a HB7. I instantly saw the potential in her as I stated the reason I had arrived. She had the face of an angel, but inside of her eyes spoke a story of secret fantasies ... The only thing that could keep my mind at ease was the thought of how it would feel to place my hands on her hips and pull her near. I saw that she didn't seem at all fazed by my introduction of, "I need a haircut." And why should she be... I thought as I walked away from the counter with, "If it was up to me then I'd just let it grow out... but the military really doesn't want me to" I was in no way trying to play the soldier card, and I don't think it was peceived in that way. I was just stating what I thought. Which in my opinion is perfectly acceptable on a Day 4 Week 1 bootcamp experience.
I took my jacket off slowly. So slowly that I felt as if a camera should be on me for my close-up shot. It was natural though. I wasn't trying to be cool. I was just so at ease with myself... which is not what I am regularly accustomed to, or atleast I havn't been before. I sat in the chair assigned to the guy that she had designated to cut my hair. I guess I didn't impress her at all! While I was getting my hair cut I occasionaly looked over and saw her not even close to looking up from her magazine to let me make eye contact. I wished I could fast forward myself to a place where I had more game. I talked comfortably with the guy cutting my hair, and I believe I had befriended him. Which he's a real cool guy and I like talking to him so it's not like I had to try to win him over. I started thinking... this guy is so ready to find out about me, why isn't she. Why is she putting on this front? Then I realized how can I be judgemental of her when I am the one who doesn't have the skills or the social confidence to talk across the room to her... to make her day more meaningful. I'm the one with the front... The shy ***** front! I almost had to smile when I came to the realization that it's day 4, and I'll make sure next time I see her my mind will be different, and the next time I see her after that she'll be looking behind her back and licking her lips from a doggy-style position. I got my hair cut and ventured through the mall and got my hellos up to 20/50.
Again I felt it! Just like yesterday... I felt the "Alpha Feeling!" I walked through the mall and no one could stop me. I was the best. These are all somewhat alien feelings to my usual state of being, but I like it! I again, was dressed nice which helped alot, and it made me want to walk like I was the mayor or something. My posture was good, my toneality was strong yet soothing. When I said, "Hello" to other males there was power behind it! They almost always looked away and returned a mere mumble of a hello. I knew in that instant they where weaklings. (lol just joking) I walked into the CD store and from the rap section I saw two samoan males... one looked at me with a an almost steriotypical I can kick your ass grimace. This would have usually scared the **** out of me since I had previously in horrible error placed all samoans in the category, "Gangster." As if this was a moment I had waited for my entire life, I walked up to the guy, and just when the thoughts of getting my ass kicked or getting made to look like a joke started racing through my head.He spotted me walking towards him, and out of the possibility of me initiating a conversation with him, then he turned 180 degrees from me. He wasn't a confident thug at all! He just had the image down. So I stood there looking at the CD's with him in a sort of way that I felt let him know I wasn't an ******* and definately not a *****... and then I continued with accumulating my hellos. When I was leaving the mall I realized the Samoan taught me a valuable lesson by what he did... The way you dress, and the way you carry yourself will give someone an initial feeling, but if someone is confident enough to see past all that and look into the person... then you better be solid in who you are. And that my friends... brings me back to my mirror.
The last two days really got me into a passionate sense of creating art with the process of developing my game. I am totally sold on the idea that game is indeed an art form, and just like any artist I feel it, and breath it in the very essence of my soul. As for my initial accomplishments... While maybe meager to some, I never thought that I could do the things I have done so far, and now I can rest well tonight knowing that tommorow is another oppurtunity to excel.
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