Sonic
Don Juan
aRRggh arrggh and DOUBLE arggghh!!
Well, at least I didnt come back home without doing a THING.
Ok, so I get off chat, post at the new board the brothers from this bootcamp and then got ready for my journey.
Went to collect cash from the casino Palms. On the way there I couldnt get myself to even do the EC. There would be people approaching and I would look away or just look at the environment. Talk about anxiety as my stomach was rolling acid and chills doing this mission. Took out $400 and f--ing lost it all since my state was let's say..'upside down' from gambling. Partly because I felt like **** for not being able to do the EC, and if I cant even do EC.....no party with the fellas in Vegas and no Don Juan.
Basically back to the kooked up life as Im living right now...mundane and not interesting.
So I left the casino pretty pissed off, which actuallyy helped away 'some' of the anxiety.
Decided.."F--K this, Im going to get at least something done" Went to Wal-Mart, and started my journey.
EC was very tough at first, but then I just forced myself to do it. No smile, just crazy eye stare. By the fifth one, I started to give a little smirkish smile. I lost one battle of EC with this one guy, damn did he give me a good stare down. Maybe he was doing the mission from this bootcamp as well, lol. Once again, I recouped and went on a 'damn if I do, damn if i dont' spree.
EC continued, and I noticed that EVERYONE i gave EC to couldnt keep up with me. LOL. There was a girl who give me a good EC and I said "WHATS UP?" She didnt say nothing back...but I felt good for at least doing it.
The night is still young and got 30-40 ECs and one friggin hello. Not even a hello, but "whats up" But believe it or not, at least I did one hello.
And yes, it does get easier to do the EC but it doesnt get EASY. Also, most people dont even look at your eyes for no more than a half second, luck if it goes a secod.
The night is still young and taking out my mom and uncle (who is visiting from California) to eat. At the stupid ass Palms. Hoping to get someting done over there and at least TWO hellos. I have till the 30th and just one hello would be way under quota.
-----
Weakness: Im too analytical when thinking of saying hello. I keep thinking that it sounds weird and creepy if some random person just yabbers hello out of nowhere. If I say it to a guy, he'll think im gay. To anyone else, Im nuts. But maybe I need to enter that frame where I shouldnt give a **** and just do the damn mission.
Strengths and Improvements: EC DID get easier as time went by. I started this morning with horrible EC, couldnt get myself to do it, but now its easy. Not habit forming or natural, though I can see where this leads too.
----------------------
Goals for tonight when I come back: At least TWO HELLOS DAMMIT> TWO.....
LONG ways to go, but Im on the road and slowly approaching destination.
Input please!!
Well, at least I didnt come back home without doing a THING.
Ok, so I get off chat, post at the new board the brothers from this bootcamp and then got ready for my journey.
Went to collect cash from the casino Palms. On the way there I couldnt get myself to even do the EC. There would be people approaching and I would look away or just look at the environment. Talk about anxiety as my stomach was rolling acid and chills doing this mission. Took out $400 and f--ing lost it all since my state was let's say..'upside down' from gambling. Partly because I felt like **** for not being able to do the EC, and if I cant even do EC.....no party with the fellas in Vegas and no Don Juan.
Basically back to the kooked up life as Im living right now...mundane and not interesting.
So I left the casino pretty pissed off, which actuallyy helped away 'some' of the anxiety.
Decided.."F--K this, Im going to get at least something done" Went to Wal-Mart, and started my journey.
EC was very tough at first, but then I just forced myself to do it. No smile, just crazy eye stare. By the fifth one, I started to give a little smirkish smile. I lost one battle of EC with this one guy, damn did he give me a good stare down. Maybe he was doing the mission from this bootcamp as well, lol. Once again, I recouped and went on a 'damn if I do, damn if i dont' spree.
EC continued, and I noticed that EVERYONE i gave EC to couldnt keep up with me. LOL. There was a girl who give me a good EC and I said "WHATS UP?" She didnt say nothing back...but I felt good for at least doing it.
The night is still young and got 30-40 ECs and one friggin hello. Not even a hello, but "whats up" But believe it or not, at least I did one hello.
And yes, it does get easier to do the EC but it doesnt get EASY. Also, most people dont even look at your eyes for no more than a half second, luck if it goes a secod.
The night is still young and taking out my mom and uncle (who is visiting from California) to eat. At the stupid ass Palms. Hoping to get someting done over there and at least TWO hellos. I have till the 30th and just one hello would be way under quota.
-----
Weakness: Im too analytical when thinking of saying hello. I keep thinking that it sounds weird and creepy if some random person just yabbers hello out of nowhere. If I say it to a guy, he'll think im gay. To anyone else, Im nuts. But maybe I need to enter that frame where I shouldnt give a **** and just do the damn mission.
Strengths and Improvements: EC DID get easier as time went by. I started this morning with horrible EC, couldnt get myself to do it, but now its easy. Not habit forming or natural, though I can see where this leads too.
----------------------
Goals for tonight when I come back: At least TWO HELLOS DAMMIT> TWO.....
LONG ways to go, but Im on the road and slowly approaching destination.
Input please!!