Bootcamp Journal

[Bjj_playa]

im 17 years old, in final year of highschool, this year im going to overcome my anxieties and stop being so damn shy around others. i tried the bootcamp in the past several times but could not make it past the first week, im posting here now because im finally on week two and im going to get through this. what i hope to achieve from this experience, is more confidence, no more anxiety around females, and lots of poon.

week 1

during week one i did the eye contact and hello to over 50 strangers. at my work im a server in the meat department so i have to greet alot of of the customers, i dont know if it counts but im using it anyway. outside of work i did it to about 10 people, but the majority was frm work. i got one email from doing week one. it was this chick from work, we started talking a bit and i just decided to go for it. went like this
hb7: aww so this is the last time im going to see you here! (im quitting my job btw)
me:huh? yeah
me:hey, do you have email?
hb7:yea."pause"....mine is kinda weird why dont you give me yours
me: nah just get a pen write it down
hb7: okay hold on...(she went to the back to write it down, then came back
hb7: okay here, try not to laugh at the name! hehe
me: haha..its nice..??
hb7: aha oh ya of course

so thats pretty much it for week one...i know i have a lot of work to do with conversations, so i hope you guys can comment and give any advice on the conversations i post here. i was really nervous doing some of the hi's..and when i got that chicks email, so week two is going to be really tough for me.

im on day 2 of week 2...so far i havent done any of the converssations with a stranger, we'll see what happens tomorrow.

 

[Bjj_playa]

week two: Day 4

okay so the week isnt going too well, i managed to get in two conversations today, but they were not with any girls whom i find attractive, so that is where i stand; 2/10 conversations so far for week two.

Stranger One....some hb 2...she is in one of my classes, i saw her in the hall in morning, never talked to her before...
me: *nodded head*
hb2: oh man ur in so much ****
me: huh, why
hb2: when u skipped the other day, the teacher checked all the ppl who skipped, now u have a detention
me: oh ****, really...did the supply teacher see me leave?
hb2: noo, teacher checked attendance when she came back
me: haha i see
hb2: ya that sucks, see u later!

there was some other stuff we said but it wasnt important and im not happy with this at all...the conversation was around 2 minutes.

stranger 2...was not even with a girl, but the bootcamp says its okay so i suppose i will add it. was with some guy in my grade, about the wrestling team. i just asked questions bout it cuz i missed the sign up date, we talked for about 5 minutes about grappling and tournaments and ****.

i had many oppourtunities today, but i did not go for them, i still have a bit of fear when approaching. theres this chick in my class who i really want to meet, i've said hi but never did anything else since.... uhhmm, i had a few other approaches, but they werent 2 minutes so i cant count them...so im at 2/10 conversations so far...tomorrow i'll have some more

 

[zerocelcius]

Good Job Keep it up. You have to crawl before you can run. And remember Week two is just about opening convo. Not chating up the hotties. Get those ten, and don't stop with the casual HI's.

:rockon:

 

[Bjj_playa]

week two: day 5

today i tried talking to some people i didnt know...but the conversations didnt last two minutes...it was more just comments i made to the group instead of actual conversation with someone. im still feeling nervous before approaching. so nothing for today, im still at 2/10, tomorrow and saturday i need to get the other 8.

 

[Bjj_playa]

week 2 day 6.

i only got another two in today one shouldnt really have counted cuz she wasnt a total stranger..but it was the first time i actually talked to her in real life saying more than one word. because im only at 4/10 i may have to redo week two if i dont go out tonight and get some more.

stranger one:

was with this blonde chick we talk online alot, shes from my school..i never see her there so this was basically our first time spending some time together. we hung out in halls for about 10 mins? there was alot of flirting on her part...she asked for a hug (i said no..dont ask me why i duno wtf is wrong with me)...she took my book and wouldnt give it back...was being playful. so we just wlaked around the halls for a bit i was at a loss of words at times the conversation didnt go too smoothly, she even commented that im not much of a talker. hmm.

stranger two:

this chick sitting in the hall outside her class

me: you get in trouble?
hb7: no just finishing this essay, im behind
me: oh yah, i had the same one last week, i didnt finish it either
hb7: bla bla yeah this work is dumb bla bla bla
me: ha ha..yea
hb7: so whats new with u
me: uhh not much...wer not doing anything in class, just wlakin around
hb7: ohh sucks
hb7: k im gona keep working on this, i'll see u later
me: yea, bye


so today wasnt a complete failure i guess...i still didnt talk to that girl in my class ive wanted to get to know,, shes never alone. uhhm i still had lots of chances i probably could have got all 8 done today but again i still get nervous. we'll see what happens tonight, or else i may redo weeek 2

 

[Bjj_playa]

okay so i chilled with some friends tonight..i got one more approach in. my buddy brought three chicks with him i ended up talking to one but nothing really happened...i was at a loss of words.

me: hey, u go to (name of school)?
hb7.5: yeah
me:what grade
hb7.5: bla bla, you?
me: 12, ive never seen u at school before
hb7.5: ya u either aha
me: i think ive seen u walk home sometime tho
hb7.5: oh ya? where u live?
me: bla bla street
hb7.5: ohh ya, i live on bla bla bla
meh cool

then the conversation pretty much ended there i couldnt think of anything else to say. uhm, there was one other chick with her too, i talked to her a bit, but not 2-10 minutes so i cant add that in. something im noticing though, i can be very outgoing when im around my buddies, but as soon as someone else joins in, like tonight with the 3 chicks, i just freeze up and dont say much. i tried not to let it happen tonight but i sort of just drifted out of the conversations and didnt contribute much. so im at 5/10 now...tomorrow i'll be going out again we'll see if i can get some more. im still pretty disapointed but hopefully i'll improve....if you have any comments or tips theyre appreciated.

 

[Bjj_playa]

week 2: day 7

okay so i worked today at my buddies place..its a garden centre, i finished the rest of my conversations there. basically just tried to keep it going for 2 minutes as i helped carry the stuff to customers cars.

im really feeling ****ty right now though, i got back from my friends place...we chilled there and at a coffee shop. i was pretty much a mute the whole ****ing night. why? because there was these two chicks there who i dont know well, i know it sounds damn stupid but i just froze the whole night, and as soon as they left i was fine. i dont know why the **** this happens but i need some advice from you guys. one of the girls asked why im so quiet...im honestly so sick of hearing this from people, it really gets to you after a while. then in the car my buddy gave me another lecture on how i have to talk around them more and that i was too quiet. well tomorrow i start week three...but all im seeing is failure than success right now.

 

[zerocelcius]

The more you socialize the easier it gets. Keep your head up and stick to the camp!

 

[Bjj_playa]

week three day 1

okay so today was the first day of week 3...i worked again today until 5pm...there was no one i could have approached for the bootcamp..my work is in an asian neighborhood and everyone within 5km was asian..not that theres anything wrong with that but i prefer white girls. the only opportunity i had was tonight when i was paintballing. there was a hot chick i'd say 7.8 standing alone cleaning her gun, and then another one later on in the night standing beside the vending machine when i went to go buy a drink....both times i was just too nervous and didnt even think of saying anyhting. this is going to be tough.

 

[Canibus27]

Talk to some of the asian girls you see. It doesn't matter if you're not attracted to them. Anytime you can socialize with women, you will get more comfortable, and you won't be too nervous.

 

[ApC23]

Day 5 week 3

theres two days left i didnt do much for this week. i missed 2 days of school, i was home monday and tuesday and didnt go out. today i managed to get one person in...i'd say two but the other one was the same chick from last week who i talked to for the first time.

anyways, my approach today was during school, i was skipping class (not good i know) she was walking towards me in the hall (shes in my class but ive never talked to her before) and i nodded at her and said hi.
me: yo
hb7.3: hey
me: what are you doing
hb7.3: nothing i have math now, which by the way i have with u!..(smiling) im just gettin so mething from locker
me: am i missing anything in class?
hb7.3: no its a free period kinda....im doing my test now
me: oh...i did mine yesturday
hb7.3: i thought it was friday
me: no yesturday

...i forgot what else she said after that, but thats pretty much it. a problem im noticing..is that when im talking to these people, im paying so much attention to my voice and what im saying..and it really ****s me up. it feels weird just talking to these people i dont know..but im sure things will change soon.

 

[Bjj_playa]

so i have to redo week three now. this weekend i didnt get in any approaches. im still at 1/10. i find it hard doing it at school...cuz im going to be seeing the same *****es everyday if i screw up or make an ass of myself. but its my last year here so i guess it doesnt even matter, i wont see half these people again. alright.

 

[Bjj_playa]

week three :day 2

today i didnt make any approaches...im not gona make any excuses as to why i didnt, its obvious why.

i was approached 3 times today though...two were from girls that i made approaches to in week 2. i didnt say much in return though...
the first chick from week 2..was walking towards me in hall by herself she said "heyyy bjj_playa and smiled...all i said was "hey"..im not even sure if she heard me though. the second was from a chick in my class who i never talked to until week 2. i left a message on her locker, it was her birthday last week...her friends wrapped it in wrapping paper and ppl leave messages and ****, im sure the younger people know what im talking about...so anyway she asked if it was me, i jokingly said no..she smiled and gave a "ohh you liar!" look...that was it. the third chick also from my class....never talked to her really..but she pinched my nipple jokingly.....didnt say anything except "aha"...

so obviously there is a problem with my social skills...im fine around long time friends...but anywhere else my voice just drops..i sound unconfident...and pay too much attention to what im saying. i was curious and asked this chick in one of my classes if i look shy...if she didnt know me and just saw me walking down the hall...she said no, i dont look shy at all. ive had a chick tell me that i look lost when im walking around..i guess that coms from feeling nervous alot of the time. but anyway no progress yet on week three..

 

[Bjj_playa]

week three:day 4

i got one approach in today....was walking to my locker this chick from one of my classes was sittin on floor beside her locker...i nodded and smiled she said hi..then we started talking about marks in that class. conversation didnt last too long, i couldnt htink of anything else to say. i had two girls smile at my today...i managed to say hi to one of them. i noticed since i shaved my head this weekend alot of chicks have been checking me out during the day. i have so many chances i just need to get comfortable with this approaching ****.

i was reading some of my past entries. i think alot of us, including myself have a big problem with our internal dialogue and what we see as our current reality. what i feel when im out there, is totaly different than what i feel after i read the facts on paper. i was approached numerous times this week and last, and if i just get over this insecurity or whatever it is, i can see a big change happening.

anyway, today i felt a little more comfortable at school, i wasnt as nervous when walking around or in class, and i managed to have a conversation with my teacher, which i never was able to to before.

 

[Bjj_playa]

week 3: day 6

today i got in another two. both girls were from same year as me. we just talked about school things.

i could have finished all 10 in one day but im still feeling nervous. and what pisses me off is that i was approached today 3 times and had 2 other girls smile at me. i still couldnt carry on a conversation more than a few words.

im at 4/10 for this week..im going out tonight, so not finished yet

 

[AlekNovi]

Man, nice log. You kinda seem to be in that valley before the hill (huge exciting jump up) right now. Just keep pushing. And keep posting that log!!

 

[Bjj_playa]

so its day one of week 4....i didnt start the 10 rejections yet.
i only got up to 8 conversations for week 3. friday night i talked to two chicks from my school..one hb 7. another hb 7. they were drunk or stoned or both, but it still counts. the conversation was random, school...life...
i then got another 2 in on saturday night when we went paintballing. a group of girls were playing for their first time, so me and a buddy started talking to them, giving them advice and ****.

this week at school im going to go for the 10 rejections/numbers. im not sure how its going to go, it might be easier now that i have an objective...buh.

also today, this chick called me up, she wanted to hang out, but i declined...reason being that im not attracted to her, i just dont see the point. she has some really hot friends though so that might be of use next time she calls.