Boot Camp week 4 (Response thread)

[Nicholas Hill]

DJ Boot Camp - Week 4

(Handling Objections and Dealing with Rejections)

This is the response thread for the fourth week of the Don Juan Boot Camp. The only content that should exist here would ideally be from those who have read the relevant chapter in the DJ eBook and have done the exercises.

When reporting, remember to log:

• What you did, correctly and incorrectly.
• What you thought and felt
• How you think you're doing at this point

 

[msg]

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&postid=858278#post858278http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&postid=858278#post858278

 

[TRA]

rejections

I've decided to take a bit different approach to the bootcamp. Unfortunately I get stuck at work a lot and don't get an oppurtinity to go out and meet women. Also the nights I've been going out have been with the girls I met in the previous weeks of the bootcamp. So, I've decided to only move onto the next week when the task is completed.

I've got 2 rejections so far. I didn't even get the oppurtunity to ask for numbers so I consider them as rejections.

1. I'm sitting with my friends at a table across from the bar. There's an open table next to us. This girl walks in hb7 and is looking for a place to sit. I said hey this seat next to me is open. She had just come from a movie by herself, and then came to the bar alone. I thought I caught her interest a couple time in the conversation. Eventually she got bored and walked away.

2. Same bar, same table. A group of 4 girls is standing behind me. I lean over my shoulder and ask them about halloween costumes (it's right before halloween). 2 of the girls were'nt interested, but the other 2 were. I pulled a couple chairs over from the table next to us. Thought I was in for sure. It was karaoke night at the bar. So they got up to put their name on the list. I ran into them later and they had lost interest. They walked away again.

I had a good night though. I came up with a couple openers that seemed to work great. There were a couple times I froze and lost the chance to approach. I need to remember the 3 sec rule next time.

 

[TRA]

day 2

I went out with my wing last night. It was a good night. Opened a bunch of sets. I got all the numbers I asked for. I know that's not the point of this week but I had a couple things that worked well. I told a girl I have to meet my friends so I have to get going, you should give me your number. Also, I met a girl as she was leaving. I said something like it's too bad we didn't get to talk more, why don't you give me your number.

#3 & 4 2 sets I opened well but didn't maintain the girls interest. I should have tried to get the number but bailed out early because it wasn't going too well.

Another 2 sets I opened the girls were only in town for a few days. I would have asked for the number, but it would have been pointless.

#5 The big rejection I got was I tried to kiss close after I got the number. She said something like, you can kiss me on the cheek and when you call me we can work on the rest.

It was another good night out. I'm starting to build confidence in approaching girls. If it doesn't work out I'll just move on to the next one.

 

[Bible_Belt]

#5 The big rejection I got was I tried to kiss close after I got the number. She said something like, you can kiss me on the cheek and when you call me we can work on the rest.

+1 for trying, and good for you guys. Threads like this are great to see. Did you do the 'kiss test' first, where you stroke her hair and look into her eyes? And I hope you didn't actually kiss her on the cheek? That was the wrong move if you did. Just laugh at her, and look at her with a smile. Seriously, if you are banging multiple women, then some chick telling you to kiss her on the cheek is some funny sh!t. That's what you want to convey.

If you can make it about having fun over getting girls, then you win with about every interaction and become detached from the specific outcome of every interaction. When you can have fun with it all, then you become the "fun" guy that women want, and the approaches go better.

 

[TRA]

No I didn't do the kiss test. I Probably should have. Anyway after another night out. I got a couple more numbers and a couple of more rejections. It seems like for every rejection I'm getting maybe 2 or 3 numbers.

7 & 8. I opened a 3 set at the bar. They seemed to be looking over at me and my wing. I asked them some meaningess question and then walked away. About 1 min later one of the girls came over to our table. She was into my friend. That left me with the other 2. I tried to number close but one girl said she had bf and the other went off with some guy. Not a total loss though because it worked out for my friend.

 

[TRA]

No I didn't do the kiss test. I Probably should have. Anyway after another night out. I got a couple more numbers and a couple of more rejections. It seems like for every rejection I'm getting maybe 2 or 3 numbers.

7 & 8. I opened a 3 set at the bar. They seemed to be looking over at me and my wing. I asked them some meaningess question and then walked away. About 1 min later one of the girls came over to our table. She was into my friend. That left me with the other 2. I tried to number close but one girl said she had bf and the other went off with some guy. Not a total loss though because it worked out for my friend.

 

[TRA]

I only got 1 number this weekend. I tried opening a couple sets with no luck. I got turned down on a number close as well.
I was at this bar/club with my wing. It was really loud and tough to make conversation. I think thats why my game was so off. I noticed how important it is to be at a place where you have the opportunity to approach and talk to girls and not have to yell over the music.

 

[Ever onward]

Rejections only count if you go for a close.

1-5 NOT rejections

Where was 6?

 

[dcastillus]

Week 4 Days 1-3 (11/11-11/13)

I decided to take week 4 down south across the border lol. I met up with my cousin (who I am encouraging to read the DJ material) who lives in Tijuana (about a 30min drive). Here are the events which ensued:

• I approached an HB7 and an 7.5/8 (it was a bit dark in the bar so I couldn’t really tell) at a bar called Mofos we talked about how poor my Spanish was, what we all did for a living, where the chic bars were in TJ. I got the HB7.5/8’s number and FB info, thanked them for the convo and left. I felt very confident with this set b/c it was the beginning of the night and I was pumped.
• I tried talking to a group of HB 5s but they weren’t having it. They weren’t very attractive, I guess I was trying to do them a favor and maybe they saw that and didn’t want any pity convos.
• We went to a club, where we proceeded to drink profusely. I tried approaching a group of HB7-8s in the VIP section but some old narcotic-type looking man told me to scram. I felt confident when I first approached them but that dude kind of scared me a bit, I know people get killed out here so I wasn’t gonna mess around.
• I attempted to dance with a trio of HB8-9s but they weren’t having it. I wasn’t feeling too confident when I approached them and perhaps they sensed that, they were pretty hot, already in their lil clique and we all know it’s a challenge to bring down that b!tch shield, especially when you’re a rookie like me.
• We went to a different club where they played mostly Spanish music and it consisted mainly of locals. I approached an HB8 (a 9 if her face were prettier and she had bigger bre@sts, but she did have a nice f@t @$$) who was sitting by herself with a bucket of beer. She shared her beer with me and my cousin, we shared ours, I danced with her, started feeling good, attempted to kiss her and errrrr :nono: , it was a no go but she was still cool with it. I got her number. We went to a different part of the club, danced a bit more, the night was winding down, I was getting ready to leave b/c my b@lls were feeling pretty blue from all the teasing.

I step away to talk to my cousin, come back low and behold this girl has 2 wasted friends, and HB6 and 7, with her. I am buzzing it, pull the HB7 next to me, whip out my un!t and let her give me a few strokes The 5 of us go to a different club in the shady part of downtown, unfortunately I have to pay for the cab ride, but have no $ so I have the cabby take me to an ATM, the HB6 stays in the car with me, and on the way there I whip out my un!t again and she gives me a lil 0ral ple@$ure :yes: We get back to the club, my cousin and I dance with them, the 8 starts acting rude so I focus on the other two, I danced with the 7 so hard I busted a n*tt lol. I also danced with another different cute 7 that night.

It’s time to go home, the 7’s passed out so I decide to just put her and the 6 in a cab, my cousin asked me if I wanted to take them home but for some silly reason I said no (at the time I think I was thinking it’d be statutory b/c she was passed out but I was a lil drunk too so I don’t think it’d count, that was pretty AFC on my part).

I was pretty confident when I first approached the HB8 who was solo just b/c I said hi to her when I got there, and she actually invited me to sit with her. As the night went on I felt like she was just trying to get drinks from me, which irritated me and made me feel less confident b/c that meant whatever I was trying to do wasn’t working. As for her friends, I was pretty buzzed when they came around so at that point I was just plain h0rny lol. Twas a fun night indeed

I still find it difficult to approach a 9, it’s really just a mental thing and insecurity on my part, the more I practice the more I believe I’ll be able to approach them.

I’ll most likely call the first HB8 I talked to, I threw away the other HB8’s number just b/c she started acting really rude towards the end of the night.

Day 2 I spent recovering and it was raining, not very conducive for going out.

Day 3, worked and nothing, I’m going to start day 4 next week on Friday b/c I can’t do much on the days I work.

 

[dcastillus]

Week 4 days 4-5 (11/18-11/19)

Day 4
It was a solo operation tonight. I went to a club in downtown San Diego to meet up with a social group I signed up with online. However, I arrived late and didn’t get to meet everyone so I just bought myself a Vodka and Redbull and walked around solo checking out the scene. It was definitely tough for me to approach girls so I attempted talking to some dudes but everyone was already in their cliques. Sooo, the only thing that kept me entertained that night was a lady in her mid 40s early 50s dancing by herself on the dance floor, I was busting up :crackup: . I could definitely learn something from her about self-confidence. At the end of the night I knew I wasn’t going to do anything so I grabbed my lil b@ll$ and approached what looked like an HB8 from a distance with tig ol bitties (turned out she was a 7.5 with a nice pair of double Ds ) dancing with a real HB8 and complimented her on her sleeve tattoo asked her where she got it, asked her what an image of power meant to her (she said flowers or something), and went on my way. I went to a pizza parlor and headed home.

Day 5
Nothing today, the weather has been crappy and I have a cold (no excuses I know but those are good enough excuses for me).

It’s ludicrous how last week I was getting a lil w@nk in the club and he@d in a cab but the night before last I was just leaning against the wall alone watching peeps dance, granted last week I was in TJ and with my cousin but man. A few of the things that made it difficult for me was that I was sober and by myself. Other than that the vibe was good the music was good there were quite a few HB8s and 9s, I do wish I met up with those people who were part of the group to at least have a bit of social proof and just ppl to hang out with but oh well.

I give a lot of credit to all you DJs who completed the boot camp, I’d like to not count myself out but I know I won’t be able to complete it in the designated time frame or just compete it….It’s time to go back to the lab again, peace out

 

[Julian]

wow strong bump mate

 

[dcastillus]

Thanks man

Thanks man

 

[dcastillus]

The saga continues

So, again I flaked out on the bootcamp, for a solid 6 months it looks like. I haven’t forgotten it, I just chickened out plain and simple. Well, I am at it again; I think I said this before but I am going to do my best to complete the bootcamp even if it takes me my entire lifetime to do. I saved up some spending money and spent more time going to the gym after stopping the BC and started going out again 3 weeks ago. Here’s a few of my experiences:

Mon (3/26/12): My friend was in town from northern Cali and wanted to go down to TJ to eat some tacos, and party! I took him to the same spot where I met those two girls back from my post on 11/13/11, it’s called Las Pulgas, a very fun place to meet the locals from TJ. It was a little lonely b/c it was Monday, there was only one dance floor open (it normally has four different rooms). So, we bought a bucket of beer (6 beers for $8, pretty good ), and then another , my cousin shows up like at 11:30 and I felt good so he can keep my friend company while I do my best to work on getting rejected 1000 times a night to get rid of my ego. And that’s exactly what I did, I asked like 8 or 10 girls to dance (which is pretty good imo since there weren’t a lot of peeps there that night), and danced with at least 5 of them. The best part is that they were all pretty hot (HBs 7-9), granted I did dance with an HB5 but more on that later. There were at least 3 that I could remember as far as their looks are concerned. The first one was a cute 19yo blonde (HB8), celebrating her friend’s bday, we danced a bit and I even grabbed my friend to dance with the bday girl, but she was a lil stuck up. The next one that stood out was a banging HB9, she had tig ol bitties, I think she was a lady of the night on her night off b/c she was way too hot to be there alone with her other friend (who was also an HB9, I asked her to dance later that night but she said no). I also think the waiters there were some of her regular customers because they kept staring at her while she danced with me and she even said at one point, “those guys don’t like me to dance with anyone.” Point is, she was HOT. The other one I remember was a taller older HB7 (in her mid 30s). I know I danced with some other girls but I can’t remember how hot or not hot they were, I was just happy I was willing to throw myself out there.

The night concluded with my friend wanting to get his d%@k wet, so, there was a table of some HB4-5s that kept checking us out, and me doing my best to be a good wingman I go over to the table and ask if we could join them. He did his part too and approached the one he wanted (a chubby blonde, her face was ok but she def needs to hit the gym), I asked two of the girls to come out and dance and we were all dancing, one of them noticed my cousin sitting by himself and she went and grabbed him (some of the girls out there are very assertive, I’m guessing they’re like that everywhere I just notice it in TJ more) to dance, with much reluctance from him lol. We were all dancing, I wasn’t having it, I just wanted my friend to have a good time. This also made me proud, I guess I learned from Pook’s “Kill your desperation,” thread, the girl was trying to grind on me and I was like no way, so, even though I haven’t hooked up with a girl in like a year I am not desperate for any old piece of a$$ like before :yes: .

After a bit of dancing we went back to the table while my friend was doing his thing with that girl on the dance floor, I went to go ask some more attractive girls to dance, some said no and some said yes. I tried dancing with the 19yo I first danced with but she wasn’t interested anymore. Then, while my friend had the girl on his lap, I went up to him and whispered in his ear, “Just kiss her man,” and he did, that had me laughing for a while. Eventually, my friend took the girl to a motel while my cousin and I waited with those other girls. My poor cousin was being pestered by one of the girls to go back with her to her place but he stood his ground lol. I was just sitting down sobering up. So, the night was very fun, I was happy with some of the progress I’ve made. I guess I really didn’t work on the BC tasks like asking the hot girls for their numbers but I did ask and danced with some HB8-9s, which was one of my goals going into this thing, well at least being able to approach them. And something I learned about asking a girl to dance, I never really “ask” them to dance, I just grab their hand and take them to the dance floor, if they want to dance they get up and go with me and if they don’t want to dance they’ll almost always politely shake their head, I really like that “technique.”

 

[dcastillus]

untitled

Sat (3/31/12): I went to TJ again, (I don’t think I am going to party in SD until I live closer to downtown so I can get a cab from and to my place and not risk getting a DUI), this time me and my cousin went to a nicer club where all the hot girls (HB7-9s) were going, envision something like the hot girls to go the clubs in Las Vegas club but they’re all Hispanic, so these girls were pretty nice . I am not gonna lie, I was a bit nervous because, unlike Las Pulgas, this is a club were they play contemporary mainstream music so it’s not like you really need a partner to dance (ie you have girls out there for just a girls night out, so they’re all kind of in their own group). But after like 6 beers I was ready to go out and keep practicing. I didn’t ask that many girls to dance, but I think 50% of the girls I did ask to dance accepted, and it wasn’t really like I was dancing with the girl but more like I joined the group and danced with the group for a while. I do remember grinding with one girl who was an HB7, I was digging her but I think I left her to get more beer lol. I did approach some really hot girls though, there was a table of like 4 HB9s (and one HB7), I asked at least three of them to dance, some of them gave me the “Hell no” look, but I just shrugged it off and kept searching.

My cousin and I had four hot girls with a dude friend at a table in front of us, I could have sworn one of them (an HB8) kept giving me the “Come hither” look, and she would brush up against me whenever she’d go to the bathroom. So, going on that instinct I asked her to dance and she said nope. I walked around the club and still saw her giving me the look, so I asked again and was rejected again. It wasn’t too bothersome but even my cousin agreed that she kept staring at me, so I was a bit baffled by that. Her friend (an HB9) kept staring at my cousin (who is indeed a good looking guy, way more so than I am), but the difference between me and him is that I gave it a go and he didn’t so he kept telling me the next day he wishes he approached her, and that’s why I tell him to read the material on SS, no regrets!

Around 3am we decided to go to Las Pulgas, all 4 dance floors were open and it was b@ngin! I do remember dancing with two tall blondes in their early 30s (one was an 8 the other a 9) but nothing special, we were just dancing in a group. I think I danced with more girls but don’t remember how attractive they were. It was closed pretty soon so we went to a club in the Red Light District, where supposedly all the working girls go after their shift (same place I took the 2 girls from my 11/13 post). It was crowded and I did approach a thin HB7, we were dancing for a bit but then this Amazonian woman (body of and HB8 but face of a 6) took me from her and we started grinding, but I tried taking her low and I dropped her lol, I still need to gain some more muscle mass . I am still trying to remember if she was indeed a girl or a tranny . My cousin and I ended that night by having some delicious tacos and heading home.

 

[dcastillus]

untitled

Wed (4/4/12): Off to LP again after work. My cousin and I got there at midnight and it was off the hook (I think it’s ladies night every Wed, but they don’t advertise it as such, they just say ladies in free). We were able to get a table by giving the waiter a $10 tip after buying a bucket of beer (and you guys know that’s nothing compared to out here in the states). I was pretty happy that only after 3 beers I summed up the courage to ask a girl to dance (usually it takes me 6 lol), so I wasn’t really asking a girl to dance while drunk. She was part of a group next to our table, an HB8, I kind of danced with her and her friend at first then grabbed her closer to me and danced with her more like a couple. Unfortunately I am not a very good dancer (sober or drunk lol) but she showed me a few moves. I thanked her and sat back down. About 15min and a beer later I asked that same girl’s friend to dance, she was probably in her early 30s (HB8), nice and thick how I like them . She actually took me to the other dance floor where they played English music, telling me I’d probably feel more comfortable dancing to that music. We danced for a good 4 songs and then went back to the table. She asked me to join her at her table so I did, but then for some reason I went back to our table, I think I was taking care of our bucket of beer while my cousin was at the john. Then a cute girl asked me to dance with her friend, who was a chubby HB6, which was cool, I like dancing even though I don’t know how. We danced for a bit, I escorted her back to her table and then went back to my table and ordered another bucket of beer.

I was a little buzzed now, so, I decided to walk around and ask more girls to dance. I probably got rejected by like 4-5 girls, and they were all pretty hot (HB8-9s). I am starting to get more used to it, the alcohol helps but still, I was able to shrug it off with a smile . Then, I was talking to one dude and we were checking out this cute HB8 dancing with a not so good looking guy, so, he was telling me to go swipe her away from him (which may have gone ok b/c she was giving some looks while dancing with him), but I don’ t like to do that b/c I wouldn’t like that done to me and I don’t mess around in TJ, you never know who these people are. Instead, I started dancing with these short HB6s, I was feeling good and just wanted to dance. A part of me (and although I said I think I killed that desperation well…) said to myself these girls should be easy to b0ne so I danced with them but my unit wouldn’t get hard and they were too short that their b00ties were at my thighs (and I didn’t feel like dropping anyone again lol so I didn’t pick them up). But, I still kept dancing with them for a good solid hour, I think I saw girls looking at me like “Is this guy really dancing with those girls,” I was having fun dancing though. Eventually I went to look for my cousin and brought him to the table with those girls, again my poor cousin, he doesn’t like to sit with girls he’s not attracted to but yet he doesn’t have the heart to send them away. And, I unfortunately was desperate b/c I kept telling myself that I should easily be able to take one these girls home tonight even though I wasn’t really attracted to her, albeit I could tell she wasn’t into me.

I did decide to leave them and check out the other dance floors, I asked these super hot HB9 blonde girls to dance but they declined. I did dance with a cute thin HB7.5. And boy did she grind on me and make my friend down there happy :yes: . We were rubbing all over each other, I was caressing her hair and breathing heavily down her neck, I was loving it! So, I then decide to kiss her, I grab her face and kiss her on the lips. She then grabs my hand, walks me back to her table and says thanks for the dance. I notice I can be a bit aggressive with girls, which unfortunately leads to outcomes like the latter one. The same technique has worked in the past but I think I danced longer with the girl than just 30min. Anyway, I shrugged it off and went to the table with the short girls and my cousin, I danced with one of them a bit longer, and then decided to kiss her, unfortunately she was so short I kissed her forehead, but I knew she wasn’t into me or else she would have raised her lips to meet mine. By that time I was too tired to keep searching, my cousin took the other girl’s phone number to be polite, we both said goodnight to them and went home.

What I’ve learned and still need to work on:

• Asking hot girls to dance isn’t that hard, at least in TJ anyway. But I still do need to have some liquid courage in me, which I think is a good thing in one aspect to help me loosen up, otherwise I am a very stiff dancer, and not in a good way lol.
• I noticed that I am a bit too aggressive, if a girl is dancing with me all hot and sweaty like the example above I sometimes think it’s an invitation to get it on so I go for it a bit too soon without the foreplay, in this instance I am guessing it’s the dancing.
• On the same note, sometimes I’ve danced with an attractive girl that in retrospect I think she was into me, but b/c I just wanted to dance I really didn’t pursue anything further. Those are the instances I’d like to hone in on my instincts so that I may get somewhere further with her as the night progresses.
• It’s important for me not to go after the girls I am not attracted to just because I think I am gonna get l@id, remind myself “Kill that desperation!”
• On that same note, I don’t think I am really practicing week 4 correctly because I am not interested in the girl’s number but more like an ONS, whether that’s good or bad I really don’t know…..