---Bold's Journal---

[Bold]

So I've been thinking about starting a journal for a few weeks now, but haven't had the time to sit down and type up an introduction. But now it's time for me to get to it. No lies, no bullsh*t, just the facts. Let's do this.

I'm currently a senior at a large public high school in NJ. I have a strong suspicion that the start of my experience with women begins an awful lot like most guys' experiences. I had really bad oneitis for a girl in middle school, starting in sixth grade. This lasted until the end of eighth grade. That's right, I chased her for three f*cking years without receiving anything in return from her, except for little pieces of bait used to keep me in orbit. But after I finally realized that she wasn't going to get with me, I started browsing the Internet for advice on women. I read a few articles on Sosuave, and then noticed the website had a forum. As cliché as the saying is: the rest is history.

I browsed this forum and other blogs/sites on and off freshman through junior year. However, I never really began to internalize the advice and truly apply it to my mindset until near the end of junior year. I also watched RSD’s Blueprint near the end of 2011 (thanks to NorwegianDJ for recommending it), which helped motivate me to continue improving myself.

I'm proud of the progress that I've made over the past year, but know that I need to continue pushing myself in order to reach and go beyond my goals and aspirations. Hopefully, this journal will be a key part of my journey in terms of motivating myself and garnering support/advice from the people on this site. If nothing else, at least I will have a log of what I've accomplished or failed to look back on.

Goals [This list is certainly not complete or final]:
1. Connect with my masculine core and be authentic.
2. Eradicate neediness.
3. Improve my sense of humor/not take things too seriously sometimes.
4. Have fun and test limits.
5. Lose my virginity.

I’ll write about the girls that I’m talking to/plates I’m spinning/things I’m doing in future posts, as situations/updates/problems come up.

Until then, I’ll definitely answer any questions anyone might have in order to help introduce myself better.

Peace guys.

 

[Amo]

Welcome, bro!
Good goals there. I'd shorten 1 to just "be a man!"

What are you doing outside of women? At the very least, you should be:

• Getting kick-a$$ grades
• Engaged in regular physical activity (especially strength-based ones, like gymnastics* or weight-lifting)
• Enjoying at least a couple of hobbies
• Hanging with awesome friends

*I sh!t you not, gymnastics is one of the most goddamn difficult things in the universe. I just started it and I can tell you it's bloody impossible and much more beneficial.

 

[Bold]

Welcome, bro!
Good goals there. I'd shorten 1 to just "be a man!"

What are you doing outside of women? At the very least, you should be:

• Getting kick-a$$ grades
• Engaged in regular physical activity (especially strength-based ones, like gymnastics* or weight-lifting)
• Enjoying at least a couple of hobbies
• Hanging with awesome friends

*I sh!t you not, gymnastics is one of the most goddamn difficult things in the universe. I just started it and I can tell you it's bloody impossible and much more beneficial.

Thanks amohield. You're right, I did forget to include some of my goals that don't involve women.

Besides the ones on your list like the grades/gym/friends, I'm also working on finding a summer job. Preferably one that is fun/interesting and doesn't suck the life out of me.

 

[Amo]

On the summer job, just look at what you're interested in, then try to find a job. One of my philosophies as a DJ now is to do the unexpected - find an interesting field, then probe EVERYBODY in that field and look for a job. Crash parties, walk into offices without appointments, whatever, but find a job.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

A friend of mine used to do gymnastics. We call him the bulldozer for a reason.
Find a summer job that allows you to talk to a ton of people.

 

[Bold]

Thanks for the advice on the summer job guys.

1/30/12

In the middle of midterms right now. Took my calc midterm today, was in school for a grand total of two hours.

I don't usually do this, but because we got out at around 12, I went to go get lunch with this girl Rachel, who's a 6 and a junior, at a local cafe-like restaurant. Never been interested in her, and I've been friends with her for a couple years now. She does have a few cute friends though. I talk to her because she's not the typical dumbsh*t girl who doesn't have a single original opinion. But again, she doesn't really pass my boner test.

Drove her home, worked out later in the afternoon, and spent a couple hours tonight studying for my midterm tomorrow.

 

[Bold]

1/31/12

Last day of midterms today. Again, I was only in school for two hours so not much happened.

Spent some time after school scheduling a few college interviews. I also worked on finalizing a contract for a house during Prom Weekend with some friends, should be awesome. I'll write more about this stuff later.

 

[Bold]

2/1/12

First day back from midterms. Just getting back into the groove of things, not used to spending more than a few hours in school lol. Got almost all of my midterm grades back actually, mostly A's, one B+. The one B+ bugs me a little, because I see it sort of like a blemish on my record, but whatever, I'll just focus on doing well during the rest of the year.

I used to talk to this girl Ali (senior now, HB7) during freshman year, but not sophomore and junior years. She's in a few of my classes this year, and today I saw her mood get progressively worse as she received B after B on her midterms from morning into afternoon classes.

We walk to our cars together after school maybe once a week, and like half a minute after we left our last period class, she started tearing up lol. Her friend tried to, unsuccessfully, cheer her up in the hallway before leaving (I guess some girls are just terrible at that sh*t). Anyway, I just stayed upbeat and made her laugh a few times. When we got our cars, I gave her a hug and left.

Sure as hell wasn't going to stay around and soak with her in a pool of negative emotions, but at the same time it's not like I'm a robot and don't have a soul or emotions haha. I just made her laugh/feel better, then peaced out. My job was done, no point of staying around longer.

 

[Amo]

As Nino might say, make every lady feel loved. Don't always, but sometimes you gotta stick around in times of trouble.

 

[Nino-Tk]

Bold, I wish my best bud who gave me the philosophy of 'Make Every Lady Feel loved' would read this, he would be incensed! Props for making her laugh and all but why do I get the feeling you find it funny that she cried? I saw that "lol" man, not cool. I am not saying be an emotional tampon, but like Amohield has pointed out, be genuine, you must really care man...don't just make her laugh and all just for the sake of it.

 

[Amo]

Nah Nino, I don't think he was laughing.

It's this annoying habit a lot of people have picked up lately. They'll add a "haha" or a "lol" at the end of their sentences in an attempt to de-awkardize a situation.

I had it done to me a couple of times when I was super AFC - "let's just be friends haha". I still see it every now and then. Ridiculous.

 

[Bold]

but why do I get the feeling you find it funny that she cried? I saw that "lol" man, not cool. I am not saying be an emotional tampon, but like Amohield has pointed out, be genuine, you must really care man...don't just make her laugh and all just for the sake of it.

I completely understand where you're coming from, I shouldn't have added the "lol". Don't know why I did that, because I definitely wasn't finding it funny that she cried. Probably a combination of the awkwardness that amohield referenced in his post as well as my tiredness when writing that post. My bad man, and I hope not too many people misinterpreted that.

2/2/12

Didn't go to school today because I had an on-campus college interview at 10 in the morning. That went smoothly, and I hope that I get in. Things started getting interesting when I checked my phone after dinner.

There's this girl Megan (HB 8.5, senior) who has a couple classes with me this year. We've talked since the beginning of the school year, but I never really decided to go for it until a few weeks ago. (Don't know why I didn't try to make a move earlier, I know that I should've, but this is a learning process, and I know should change in the future, what's done is done).

Anyway, got her number two weeks ago, but we've barely texted until now, mostly because I was busy with other activities and then midterms came up. So she texts me today at around 2pm:

Megan: [Really ugly and annoying girl] took your seat today Now I have to deal with that for a whole period!

Bold (around 8 pm): I hope you used the opportunity wisely
Megan: Umm...
Bold: To hit on her obviously
Megan: Alright that joke is crossing a line. Its too gross to even think about
Bold: Hey don't insult [teacher the ugly girl is close with]'s choice in women
Megan: I'm insulting his choice not to get a restraining order, his wife is actually pretty, too pretty for him
Bold: Okay. So you like her instead
Megan: Awk
Bold: Awk cause its true?
Megan: No, why do you like torturing me
Bold: Just trying to get to know you
Megan: Ah you better watch out with a comment like that, might think you're going soft on me (no pun intended)

[I usually tease her in class and stuff, which is where the "you're going soft on me" fits in. But when I saw she added the "(no pun intended)", I thought: This girl is thinking about my d*ck, better do something]

Bold: And?
Megan: Hey, as long as you're okay with that
Bold: Could be, depends
Megan: On what?
Bold: Stuff, I'll tell you when we hang out soon
Megan: Uh okay lol
Bold: Sounds good, you excited
Megan: Confused mostly
Bold: Why confused
Megan: Stuff was pretty vague
Bold: Not that vague, I think

She didn't reply after this, but it was 11, maybe she fell asleep or something. Anyway, feedback/advice? I'll see her tomorrow in school as well.

 

[LearningSlowly]

She's right, you were being very vague. And not leading the conversation at all. If you aren't going to say anything why text her?

There's "try-hard," which you definitely are not, then there's "don't-try-enough."

You noticed that she made a pun about your ****. COMMENT ON IT.

"Whoa girl! You had a **** pun in you? I thought you were such a good girl"
"I'll never go soft, I can stay hard for days."
"What, so you only like me when I'm hard?"

The possibilities are endless.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

You need more intent. Your thoughts aren't clear enough, thus it reflects in your texts.

Megan: Ah you better watch out with a comment like that, might think you're going soft on me (no pun intended)

Dear lord. THATS SO GREAT! HAHAHAHAHHA. I want this chick!

 

[Mindgamez]

Lol, that's a weird conversation XD! I just feel like it's not really going somewhere. Mhm, maybe be a little more specific next time? Show a little more interest? See for yourself.

 

[Bold]

Thanks for the input guys, I see what I need to work on.

Anyway, as I'm typing this, it's Friday afternoon. I have plans for tonight to chill with my friends, but do you think I should text Megan to see if she wants to do something this weekend?

Her plans might already be set though, but who knows. I don't really want to wait until next weekend to hang out with her, but at the same time I don't want to make it look like I'm trying to hard.

But from what I understand, I wasn't trying hard enough when I texted her last night, so maybe I should push do to something for this weekend...

 

[LearningSlowly]

I think some people may disagree with this advice, we'll see if we can get some differing opinions here.

I would say yes, and make it obviously a date (anytime it's a one-on-one movie, that's definitely a date, and easy way to make a move). You need to say you're interested without saying you're interested.

 

[Nino-Tk]

Well is it Saturday as I am typing this but I hope you did call her and told her cancel all her plans because you want to hang out with her and give eachother a great time...here is to hoping that as I am typing this you are with her right now.

 

[Bold]

Thanks LearningSlowly and Nino-Tk for telling me to basically just go out with her already, but I ended not having time:

2/3/12

Before I went out with my friends, my parents told me about a change of plans for weekend. Originally, we were going to see our relatives on Sunday, but now we were going Saturday. Therefore, I decided not to text HB Megan - no point, because I wouldn't be able to chill with her.

2/4/12

Family time with relatives. Some of my cousins seem to get cooler every time I see them.

2/5/12

Got back home around noon, Finished up my hw in the early afternoon, then watched the Super Bowl with my bros.

2/6/12

A good half of my school (including me) was really pumped today because the Giants won last night. Chill day, mostly because whenever our male teachers would try to teach a lesson or start something new, we could get them offtrack by talking about the game. Good times.

People (well, mostly girls actually) have started bugging me about who I'm going to ask to prom. It was fun to keep side-stepping questions at first, but it's getting kinda annoying. So I'm probably going to ask someone soon.

I know it's just prom, not a big deal, whatever, but I know a few guys have asked girls already, and more will as the weeks go on. And there's not exactly an unlimited supply of good looking girls in my school. I'd rather not be in formal pictures and stuff with a girl who's not that hot, so yeah, I guess I have to ask soon.

Definitely not a big fan of the whole extravagant proposal aka pedestal tactic, so I'm planning to just have a normal conversation with whoever I choose to ask, steer the topic towards prom, and say something along the lines of "Hey we should go to prom together".

Think that's it for now. Comments always appreciated, and I'll update again tomorrow.

 

[LearningSlowly]

Definitely not a big fan of the whole extravagant proposal aka pedestal tactic, so I'm planning to just have a normal conversation with whoever I choose to ask, steer the topic towards prom, and say something along the lines of "Hey we should go to prom together".

Disagree. Girls love the elaborate prom thing. Part of it is being able to compare with their friends, and see who got the best invitation. Do you want your girl to not have anything to say?

Do something big.