Body Language Challenge

[BlueAlpha1]

Is anyone up for a challenge where for one week everyone will consciously thoroughly focus on one aspect of body language that gets lost in the hustle and bustle of everyday life?

In my "what age did you quit the club scene" thread I pointed out how I was recently told in a club by a drunk girl I was way too tense and looked like I was hiding something. I should have heeded that warning and yet I still notice different voice pitches dependent on my mood, a sore neck or back based on posture, inconsistent eye contact, etc. Knowing that body language is 70% of the message, I think we still all underestimate how much we give away with this, even if we're standing in dead silence.

How about a thread where we report back on any differences we see as a result of emphasizing the following:

Week 1 - Eye contact
Week 2 - Deeper voice
Week 3 - Walking speed (slow down, be deliberate)
Week 4 - Neck/back posture (look up, walk upright)
Week 5 - Stop fidgeting (stop shifting in line at the grocery store or in traffic)

Could we not be projecting as much better men within a month?

 

[ubercat]

I m up for it. Never anything wrong with revisiting the basics at any point and any age. Except for week 2 I've already found my resonance point and locked it in. Any more and I'll sound like Barry White.

 

[yungballa]

eye contact and a deeper voice will probably help, but i dont know how the speed that im fvcking walking is going to help me hook up with girls.

"oh my god he's walking slowly he's so sexy"
"that guy is standing so still he's so hot"
"his back is so straight i wanna fvck him!"

wtf?

i can understand if you look like a fvcking 5 year old jumping around and sh1t and that you might need to tone it down, but i think sh1t like this is trivial.

an average amount of all of these is probably good. except for eye contact and a deep voice. a lot of both of those are good. i think those are useful assets.

this is just my perception tho. i dont mean to come off as a d1ck or to offend anyone. just my thoughts.

 

[BlueAlpha1]

eye contact and a deeper voice will probably help, but i dont know how the speed that im fvcking walking is going to help me hook up with girls.

"oh my god he's walking slowly he's so sexy"
"that guy is standing so still he's so hot"
"his back is so straight i wanna fvck him!"

wtf?

i can understand if you look like a fvcking 5 year old jumping around and sh1t and that you might need to tone it down, but i think sh1t like this is trivial.

an average amount of all of these is probably good. except for eye contact and a deep voice. a lot of both of those are good. i think those are useful assets.

this is just my perception tho. i dont mean to come off as a d1ck or to offend anyone. just my thoughts.

Not every single suggestion or thread on this forum has its genesis in picking up girls. I suggested thing as a means to become more confident men - for ourselves. And the belief that this confidence will build on itself in other areas of life.

 

[yungballa]

Not every single suggestion or thread on this forum has its genesis in picking up girls. I suggested thing as a means to become more confident men - for ourselves. And the belief that this confidence will build on itself in other areas of life.

i think i understand where you are going.

you want to explain how we can be more confident at first for ourselves, and then implement this confident into other activities in life.

i never really thought body language mattered too much as long as you don't look like a retard, and plus everyone has their own body language.

but you know what, i'll give this a shot man. we'll see what changes will happen when i try this out.

for one week, ill go and focus on

1. strong eye contact
2. speaking deeply and at a moderate~slow pace
3. using open and confident body language.

ill experiment with this through out the week.

 

[BlueAlpha1]

i never really thought body language mattered too much as long as you don't look like a retard, and plus everyone has their own body language..

I think it does. I know that when I'm feeling better I take longer, slower strides. I take my time because I don't have a care in the world. I make eye contact with the cashier. I speak in a deeper tone. And I think people appreciate this. Even the way you sit in a chair can scream either alpha or beta.

In the same way you can tell a LOT about how your plate is feeling based on her voice. A girl's voice pattern will always betray her. If she speaks in a high pitched, girlish voice you'll be turned on by this femininity. If she's pouting her voice is likely more stern and you probably know to eject. If a girl is laughing at your routine, it's a dead giveaway (not the same for guys, we should reserve laughter).

You get the point. I just wanted to write this down in a thread to force my own hand to try it. If anyone else wants to participate by all means

 

[yungballa]

I think it does. I know that when I'm feeling better I take longer, slower strides. I take my time because I don't have a care in the world. I make eye contact with the cashier. I speak in a deeper tone. And I think people appreciate this. Even the way you sit in a chair can scream either alpha or beta.

In the same way you can tell a LOT about how your plate is feeling based on her voice. A girl's voice pattern will always betray her. If she speaks in a high pitched, girlish voice you'll be turned on by this femininity. If she's pouting her voice is likely more stern and you probably know to eject. If a girl is laughing at your routine, it's a dead giveaway (not the same for guys, we should reserve laughter).

You get the point. I just wanted to write this down in a thread to force my own hand to try it. If anyone else wants to participate by all means

That is true. When I see a girl laughing it up and just smiling (Hard!) while she's talking to me it'll seem like she's interested in me and she mostly is.

If she has no facial expression and her voice is moderate, she probably just sees me as a friend.

And when she has that stern tone you're referring to, I usually do just take my leave. It never ends well.

What would you say about a girl who stares a lot, but looks away when caught and never approaches you/engages contact?

 

[bigneil]

That's like saying "For the next week, report back your results during your interactions with women when you try:"

1) Farting
2) Sneezing
3) Picking your butt

We already know these don't work.

If you seem tense, it's because you are subconsciously detecting and revealing that you think (or know) she is too good for you. As a general rule, if she's way hotter than your mom was at that age, she is physically out of your league. By improving your diet, lifting weights, biking, getting more sun, and earning more money, and especially by hanging around lots of beautiful women, you will desensitize yourself to such women and no longer seem tense. It is for this reason that once you pick up one beauty you will be preapproved for equally pretty women.

 

[bigneil]

What would you say about a girl who stares a lot, but looks away when caught and never approaches you/engages contact?

When she looks away, if she looks down that's submission, meaning she is attracted to you. If she looks up she is rolling her eyes at you, meaning you are finished. If she looks left or right it is neutral and reveals which side of the brain she thinks with.

The three second rule is because after a girl looks at you, if she likes you it is only for a limited time before she thinks you are weird stalker guy. So by your description you were looking too much.

If she likes you she will hold eye contact and smile, and during the date she will hold eye contact 50% of the time. If she is in love she will hold eye contact 70% of the time.

 

[SayWhat]

Question about the switching lanes in traffic. Is it seem as fidgeting? I mean I do it constantly because of patterns in traffic where if you switch to one lane at that moment you gain some time (I have to drive a lot so yes those gains do count).

 

[bigneil]

i never really thought body language mattered too much

Body language is everything.

For example, in a strip club, the only way you will ever find the ones who like you in real life is if you can master reading body language. Even then, many of them are experts at actually faking their body language. They all fake interest to some degree (they call that "The Game"). Some can fake whole relationships ("GFE"). At some point, if they fake it long enough and passionately enough, it's moot that they were faking it, but for some reason many women in general get off on telling us at the last minute that they never loved us.

Strong body language examples: She should cross her leg toward you when she is sitting next to you. Ideally you will have girls on either side of you and each will cross their far leg toward you. She will stroke her arm as she talks to you (this means she wants to be touched). She should show her teeth, carry on the conversation without your trying. Playing with her hair has little meaning IMO. She will give you her number the first time you ask, or never.

 

[yungballa]

When she looks away, if she looks down that's submission, meaning she is attracted to you. If she looks up she is rolling her eyes at you, meaning you are finished. If she looks left or right it is neutral and reveals which side of the brain she thinks with.

The three second rule is because after a girl looks at you, if she likes you it is only for a limited time before she thinks you are weird stalker guy. So by your description you were looking too much.

If she likes you she will hold eye contact and smile, and during the date she will hold eye contact 50% of the time. If she is in love she will hold eye contact 70% of the time.

interesting. i have spanish class (im in high school) with a girl and she's been eyeballing me the whole school year. i never wanted to approach since she was in a relationship with a guy i knew (we not that close tho, but i've gotten to know him more) they broke up and he seemed like he didn't like her much anymore, so i said hey, what the hell i'll go in for the kill.

i've talked to this girl several times (i've already engaged conversation with her) and she'll tend to look at me while we pass in the hallways and hold eye contact and maybe smile a bit; even when im in her face talking to her she'll give off a little smile yet seem a little nervous. you say i look too much, but i look at her all the time and she looks at me all the time and i've talked to her before and she seems interested when she talks to me. i wouldn't say she thinks im a weird stalker.

lolol i would never stare at a girl for ages without trying to talk to her thats weird af.

but yes youre right on body language. usually i tend to take notice of how a girls body language is when shes around me. her voice tone, her eye contact, what shes doing with her body, etc etc. its just my own body that i disregard. although, if i know i have any nervous ticks, i am conscious of my body language when im anxious i eliminate all insecure body language. in a social situation i wouldnt let any of that come to the surface.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Quick, twitchy movements projects weakness and dependence on outside forces. It makes a man look reactive.

That's why a man should move deliberately and walk deliberately. Cause people to WAIT for you. Never look immediately if someone calls your name. If you have a habit of moving your head around to be expressive as you talk you need to cut that out. That is so gay looking it makes me cringe to even think about a man doing this.

The key is this: Project yourself as a man who is MASTER of both time and space. You own time and space.

Regarding being master of space, take up lots of it when you sit down. Take out your keys and your phone and place them around you in a wider radius than necessary. If sitting in tight quarters with men be the guy who doesn't scrunch up and make himself smaller, even if that means rubbing legs with the others until they withdraw. It feels unimaginably uncomfortable, but it's even worse for the other guys and they will scrunch themselves up.

Neil, I must respectfully disagree about playing with hair. I find that to be a huge IOI. It's subconscious primping to make sure she looks alright and also to reassure herself because she's self-conscious about how she's coming across. Ditto with flipping the head to flip her hair back. That's a total tell of insecurity.

A lot of these are Body Language 101 but it's good to review the basics once in a while.

Master of time and space you are...

 

[Atom Smasher]

Question about the switching lanes in traffic. Is it seem as fidgeting? I mean I do it constantly because of patterns in traffic where if you switch to one lane at that moment you gain some time (I have to drive a lot so yes those gains do count).

A long time ago I made a post about these high-strung seeming guys who drive these little souped-up cars and they look like nervous birds looking around and zipping in and out of traffic.

They're always slight-of-build, have quick, twitchy head movements like birds, seem entirely outwardly motivated and overly conscious of and worried about their surroundings.

If that's what you're doing, you may want to reconsider. I will often do those lane changes which do require quick movements, but I don't do a twitchy preamble. I do a careful calculation, and when the moment arrives I strike.

If you're deliberate and calculating and then make a quick move, that's good. If you're twitchy like a bird, that's bad. Driving is probably not the only place you're doing it. Whenever a man is moving, whether by car or walking, he should appear as if he is not troubled by delays or being late. The world will wait for him.

All this stuff is ultimately for his own benefit, to demonstrate to himself first that he is in control, and to the world second.

 

[BlueAlpha1]

Regarding being master of space, take up lots of it when you sit down. Take out your keys and your phone and place them around you in a wider radius than necessary. If sitting in tight quarters with men be the guy who doesn't scrunch up and make himself smaller, even if that means rubbing legs with the others until they withdraw. It feels unimaginably uncomfortable, but it's even worse for the other guys and they will scrunch themselves up.

Especially now with New York City becoming the Toronto of the USA with these garbage "manspreading" laws designed to shame men on public transportation. When I see those billboards, I stretch out just a little more. And if there's a feminist on the train who can see it she can shove it up her purple-haired pipe.

 

[BlueAlpha1]

A long time ago I made a post about these high-strung seeming guys who drive these little souped-up cars and they look like nervous birds looking around and zipping in and out of traffic.

They're always slight-of-build, have quick, twitchy head movements like birds, seem entirely outwardly motivated and overly conscious of and worried about their surroundings.

If that's what you're doing, you may want to reconsider. I will often do those lane changes which do require quick movements, but I don't do a twitchy preamble. I do a careful calculation, and when the moment arrives I strike.

If you're deliberate and calculating and then make a quick move, that's good. If you're twitchy like a bird, that's bad. Driving is probably not the only place you're doing it. Whenever a man is moving, whether by car or walking, he should appear as if he is not troubled by delays or being late. The world will wait for him.

All this stuff is ultimately for his own benefit, to demonstrate to himself first that he is in control, and to the world second.

On the issue of driving, does it bother anyone else when guys pimp out B-level luxury cars or even garbage cars with expensive accessories? It screams DESPERATE for attention to me.

Don't get me wrong, when I see a Ferrari or Rolls Royce, or any other six figure car - instant respect. That's a guy with money and most people can't even get loans for those cars much less pay cash.

I'm talking about the Mustang drivers who spend 2k on a modified exhaust to make a ton of noise. These guys also have a habit of wild speeding and erratic lane changes. For what dude? A 5 year old Mustang can be had for less than $15,000. Any dolt with a 600 credit score can get a loan for one of them for $300 a month. It's not a real symbol of status. It's like wearing a replica rolex. I also see a ton of d-bags with no cash driving BMW's. There's a gas station and WalGreens parallel with each other right across the street from my apartment. I frequent both places during the graveyard shift, and both of the night cashiers drive a BMW which are parked outside the store every night. Both these guys make $9 and $13 an hour respectively. Sorry chief, we all know your reality doesn't match your projection.

Don't even get me started on the clowns with big rims or loud systems on an '89 Buick Regal. Okay dude, you spent your tax returns for a G worth of accessories for your $500 car. Mind blown.

I guess this is the opposite of the twitchy beta, the phony alpha doing way too much posturing.

 

[Tictac]

On the issue of driving, does it bother anyone else when guys pimp out B-level luxury cars or even garbage cars with expensive accessories? It screams DESPERATE for attention to me.

Don't get me wrong, when I see a Ferrari or Rolls Royce, or any other $90,000 car, I'm impressed and have instant respect. That's a guy with money and most people can't even get loans for those cars much less pay cash. I'm talking about the Mustang drivers who spend 2k on a modified exhaust to make a ton of noise. These guys have a habit of wild speeding and the exhaust is ridiculously loud. I'd like to know who they think they're impressing? A 5 year old Mustang can be had for less than $15,000. Any dolt with a 600 credit score can score a loan for one of them for $300 a month. It's not a real symbol of status. It's like wearing a replica rolex.

Don't even get me started on the clowns with big rims on loud systems on an '89 Buick Regal. Okay dude, you spent your tax returns for a G in accessories for your $500 car. Mind blown.

I guess this is the opposite of the twitchy beta, the phony alpha doing way too much posturing.

You are petty beyond belief. If you are this jealous of someone else doing what they want with their own money but wowed by Ferraris and Rolexes, you're just another wannabe never gonnabe.

Leave people alone and keep your grade schoolyard recess envy to yourself. You're embarrassing yourself.

 

[Tictac]

Good god, never respond to one of my posts again.

Request denied Pee Wee.

 

[parkthebus]

I find myself much more socially relaxed and projecting the right body language after excersize. Weights will do but cardio is even better. It might have a stronger effect on me because I have ADD but I'm sure it will work on everyone to some extent. The endorphins also help you think more positively without trying.

 

[ohrein]

Haha, I've been ranting about body language in all my replies today but only just noticed this thread. I have been paying attention to body language for YEARS. I became obsessed with it. Interestingly, women are naturally very, very good at it. If you take an average man and an average woman who have never consciously observed body language, the woman is going to be incredibly accurate and the man is going to be pretty bad at it.

That said, if you read books and start paying attention to it with every interaction you have each day, you can become really good at it. Non-verbal communication is the key to seeing true intentions. It's the core of detecting lies, it's the core of attraction and it's very useful in all aspects of your life. Most importantly for me is that it's fun and interesting. It's also a great way to bring a chick into your world if you're a wallflower like me. Get her to start analyzing body language at the party with you. Who's gonna hook up, who's having a **** time, who's drunk.

In terms of your own body language, as OP said, it can be the difference between getting a girl or not. Stand in front of the mirror and slouch a bit. Now puff your chest out and shoulders back and stand straight. Don't over do it. Notice the difference in image you project? This concept extends to voice, facial expressions, how you take a drink, where you hold your drink. Moving slower makes you seem far more in control to other people. I could go on for hours.