Blustery alpha types in clubs

[Yo'Mama]

I'm sure I don't need to describe the type of guy I'm talking about in great detail. Briefly I'm talking about the sort of guys who are there with a few friends, they're being super loud, chests thrust out, slapping each other's backs, acting like they own the place.

For some reason these guys make me uncomfortable, especially if I'm clubbing solo. To be fair these guys have never done anything to me, but for some reason I really don't like that they are there.

Anyone else feel the same way?

 

[Strelok]

Because they are at the top of the food chain while you're closer to the bottom,no big doubt.
That means they're getting the first serving and you're going to get their leftovers.

I'm not making fun of you,I actually experienced the same when I was younger and my boss with his uptown class friend joined the place, you can pump your muscles as much as you want but you cannot fake coming from the top society.

That's what you feel when your status decrease,in my case was more something like anger than any other thing.

This is the reason why there are such quotes like "I would rather rule in hell than serve in paradise".

 

[Yo'Mama]

I'd never thought of it in that way. But yeah it's true, I can't afford the nice clothes and things these guys have. Maybe that's where their confidence comes from, having money and status in society.

 

[PappyS]

It is because they're with a bunch of their friends. It doesn't really have anything to do with money and status in society, because there are groups of broke men in ghetto neighborhoods with no pot to p!ss in who act like that all the time. They have no status in the general society, only on their little corner.

 

[Strelok]

It is because they're with a bunch of their friends. It doesn't really have anything to do with money and status in society, because there are groups of broke men in ghetto neighborhoods with no pot to p!ss in who act like that all the time. They have no status in the general society, only on their little corner.

In their little corner as u said they still have an upper status that grant them the first bite.
If you go there you're still unconfortable because your position and access to resources still sucks.
You are not going to get the girls or any credit anyway thus you'll feel unconfortable and the presence of friends is just an optional, if you are having a double date with two girls and an other guy, and he has a status highter that yours is not going to be any different.

We like to be the top dog and when some other big dog(wheter is size,wealth or whatever) comes we just have our gut to remind us whats wrong.

 

[Mike32ct]

Maybe you're an introvert. Introverts find large loud groups to be on the annoying side. Find a quieter bar that is more your style.

 

[K2000kidd]

sounds like these two knuckle heads i work with they yell across the shop and spend half their day chest thumping, calling out football plays, grunting and throwing hi-fives. These guys grew up in the same small town, played on the HS football team circa 1988 joined the Fire Dept and never left. They may have been a big deal in high school but now they,re just annoying

 

[Yo'Mama]

K2000,

Sorry you have to work with people like that. 'Annoying' is definitely the right word. If people are loud they should at least be so with wit and panache. If they're just trying to demonstrate they are 'top dog' as people have said, it's irritating and animalistic.

 

[Slick Rick-NZ]

These people have higher social value than you. They arn't afraid of being noticed because they are confident and feel at the top. Would the king hesitate to ask the slave for anything? You get what I mean though.
These people are probly what americans call the joks form highschool.
You perhaps feel threatened by them and perhaps feel like you are in there teritory. I really do know how you feel though at school I used to sit wth 1 or 2 mates away from a group in our year that was in a group of about 50 peiople. I don't no why but I had some social problem where I didn't like interaction or being watched. Although I would have been ignored by everyone it would have probly felt like I was being watched by everyone.
But I have worked through it and am quite normal and go to parties and clubs now and it doesn't worry me. I am now trying to work towards being that guy in the room that everyone is listening to and loves interaction.
I suggest you should try to improve around these people too.
Perhaps try to make freinds with one or a group and you will grow ust to them.
Slick..

 

[jarworpar]

Alpha Male Types

I've been in situations similar to yours, but I don't think these people necessarily have higher social value than you. They could just be loud drunks who are trying to get female attention. When people are comfortable and are amongst friends, they tend to behave that way, especially if alcohol is involved. People like that are simply difficult to be around, as you always feel that the slightest thing could set them off, especially if you are going out solo. I would recommend choosing a more laid-back bar/club or avoid them altogether.

 

[Mike32ct]

I've been in situations similar to yours, but I don't think these people necessarily have higher social value than you. They could just be loud drunks who are trying to get female attention. When people are comfortable and are amongst friends, they tend to behave that way, especially if alcohol is involved. People like that are simply difficult to be around, as you always feel that the slightest thing could set them off, especially if you are going out solo. I would recommend choosing a more laid-back bar/club or avoid them altogether.

^This.

I fail to see how "loud" automatically equals high status or this "top of the food chain" stuff. We know nothing about these guys. They could be low status drunks or high status guys with lots of good stuff going on in their lives. We don't have enough information to make that determination.

jarworpar: I am referring to the other posters about the "high status" thing. I agree with your post 100%.

 

[jarworpar]

^This.

I fail to see how "loud" automatically equals high status or this "top of the food chain" stuff. We know nothing about these guys. They could be low status drunks or high status guys with lots of good stuff going on in their lives. We don't have enough information to make that determination.

I never said that they were "high status" or "top of the food chain." You must be refering to one of the other posts....

 

[Slick Rick-NZ]

Yah my bad there I automatically assumed the high status thing.
SO in that situation OP might be intimidated by loud roudy drunks?
Which is fair enough, in that case don't worry about them just keep out of their way and the bouncers will take care of them if they play up.
But there is always an opportunity to stir them up if you wish to get them removed from the area. Generally I don't like big tank guys walking around by themselves not interacting with people, it looks as if they are out to cause trouble. Big ups to you going out by yourself!! I have been thinking of doing that sometime as my mates are lame and just make me look silly by hanging with them and they hold me back ect. Do you have any game plan when you go out alone? Try to meet up with someone to go round with for a bit and meet people ect? Or just go straight into the dance floor and try hall some puss and then go home??
Slick..

 

[Yo'Mama]

Hey Slick Rick,

Honestly, going out alone is great. I never would have dreamt of doing it a while back. However given that recently all my friends seem to be married and hen pecked, I haven't had much of a choice.

There have been some good guides written as to what to do when clubbing solo. I've read them but I can't say I put them into practice that much. Normally I roll up, have a few drinks (I've overdone it on occasion and it's ruined any chances I had) and then just start approaching. Last night I wasn't in such a talky mood so I went on to the dancefloor and spent most of the night dirty dancing with a hottie. I got her number and we kissed but that was it. Last time I went out I brought a girl home.

The vast majority of times I've ended up having a really fun night out and have met nice new people. There's the occasional lame night. I would definitely say go for it.

Back to the original subject - yeah I have to say I'm inclined to agree that loud doesn't necessarily equal high value. I think these guys are confident because they are in quite large groups and are drunk. Occasionally I have seen the odd truly high value guy who has been loud but also charming and generous with it. I have no problem with that sort of guy, it's just the loud, obnoxious types who look like they are permanently on the edge of violence, like they have too much testosterone so the only options for the night are **** or fight.

 

[perseverance]

I notice these guys briefly, I don't tend to pay much attention to men in clubs. I'm usually eyeing up the women, drinking my bottled beer, dancing and chatting to my friends.

I have seen these types of guys having fist fights with each other on the dancefloor over some random girl that both men have been trying to chat up. That always makes for some interesting viewing, two meatheads smashing lumps out of each other for a low quality girls vagina, it's better than watching professional boxing.

 

[Strelok]

I never said that they were "high status" or "top of the food chain." You must be refering to one of the other posts....

He was referring to me,it was me to use those two terms and I did it for a purpose.

The highter status came from the fact that in a club is not the polite gay to rule but the guido type the op is talking about, they're perceived of a highter status and they have the first bite when it comes to get the girls in a place like a club(which we are talking about).

The "top of the food chain" is a fact too,they are bigger louder and dont give a damn about the feelings of other people,they could complicate the op life with no effort,from a randon intimindation to a real fist fight or probably even
steel his girl in 5 minutes,we all know what women in club look for.

I'm sorry to destroy the self created dogma of many people in here but even if you are a professional who get 300$ per year,who own a big house,dress well and is in shape,in that club environment the big dogs are still those guidos and they still remain at the "top of the food chain".

Hope I made myself clear this time.

 

[Mike32ct]

He was referring to me,it was me to use those two terms and I did it for a purpose.

The highter status came from the fact that in a club is not the polite gay to rule but the guido type the op is talking about, they're perceived of a highter status and they have the first bite when it comes to get the girls in a place like a club(which we are talking about).

The "top of the food chain" is a fact too,they are bigger louder and dont give a damn about the feelings of other people,they could complicate the op life with no effort,from a randon intimindation to a real fist fight or probably even
steel his girl in 5 minutes,we all know what women in club look for.

I'm sorry to destroy the self created dogma of many people in here but even if you are a professional who get 300$ per year,who own a big house,dress well and is in shape,in that club environment the big dogs are still those guidos and they still remain at the "top of the food chain".

Hope I made myself clear this time.

Fair enough. Your status depends on the environment. In a typical bar or club, yes, the big Jersey Shore-type guy has the advantage. The businessman type you mentioned towards the end would do better at a more upscale elite club.

But anyway, back to the OP, if you go out alone (which I totally recommend), it's highly recommended that you go to nicer more upscale venues that don't have fights.

 

[Poonani Maker]

I've almost been fired many a time in my job because of "alphas" like this. They'll snap or yell at me, a 35 fvckin yr old man!, for the most insignificant little fvckin thing that irritated them like ringing their doorbell twice instead of once. I have the capacity to raise my voice over theirs and they don't like it One nare a bit. It becomes a shouting match and the guy knows that if he were to slug me, I'd sue his fvckin as5 for 10s of thousands of dollars, I'd bankroll his as5 so fast. I've had 3 incidences in the past four months where I'm not respected like a full grown-as5 man that I am by one of these dictatorial loud-mouths. My superiors ALWAYS got my back. They know how people can be outright scum liars and well, just sh!theads.

I Never take the fvckin yelling I'll egg 'em on, cause if they take a fvckin swing at me, I got my lawyer anxious to go. I call it robbin the rich and givin to the poor (I mean, I'm not poor, but I ain't rich either..I could Use their money).

 

[Lexington]

I wouldn't worry too much about it, just go out there and do your thing. You might want to avoid tangling with these guys, but for the most part there's no reason to be off-put by them. Keep your eyes on the target, not on the competition.

An important rule in pickup and life in general is that you should always focus on the things that are within your control and stop worrying about the things that aren't.

Even if they are richer, of higher social value yadda yadda, so what? Maybe if you end up competing for the same chicks, you might lose out. But there are plenty more fish to reel in.

 

[Slick Rick-NZ]

Yo Mamma,

I hope to try this soon. Or aslo referred to as sarging alone haha.
Cheers.
Slick..