Blows hot and cold

[FortunateSon]

It seems like every woman does this to me, even one's I'm not interested in. It's like they'll speak to me one day and then ignore me or act cold towards me in the next interaction. I just don't get it.

It's not even like I flirt with these girls I just speak to them normally. This one girl told me she liked me, but I figured she was just being saying it in jest, so I just smiled and carried on about my business and fast forward a handful of days later, she's acting cold.

I can't be bothered with games, so I'm just going to ignore women like this now, they can get their kicks from someone else, but I just don't get women behaviour and it's this type of sh*t that makes me thing twice about getting back into the whole dating game because it seems like one big waste of time.

 

[DonJuanit0]

Do they become hot again or just stay cold? Cause if they stay cold, it could be something you say or do!

 

[FortunateSon]

Do they become hot again or just stay cold? Cause if they stay cold, it could be something you say or do!

It becomes a pendulum really, hot, cold, hot and then cold again. I don't get it, I'm not an orbitor, I don't flirt with these girls, I speak to them normally. It's worth mentioning that this is at work and I don't mix work with pleasure. I like to keep the two things separate.

 

[DonJuanit0]

It becomes a pendulum really, hot, cold, hot and then cold again. I don't get it, I'm not an orbitor, I don't flirt with these girls, I speak to them normally. It's worth mentioning that this is at work and I don't mix work with pleasure. I like to keep the two things separate.

What if you talk with wrong women? I really can't find an answer if this happens with every single woman you talk to! If it is, maybe it's you, if it only applies to some women, then they might be the wrong ones (mentally). Try different, new women as a starter is what I suggest and see from there how it goes, if it's the same reaction, you are doing something wrong!

 

[Jariel]

This is one of the great mysteries of women. They pretty much all blow hot and cold at some time. No one can tell you why. She could be testing you, she could have another guy she's into or an ex she's not quite over, she could be independent and trying to stop things moving too fast, she might be playing mind games with you to try and gain power or she might be afraid of losing your interest and is playing it cool, she might be playing the field...or one of a million other reasons.

The key is to stop trying to understand because it's a spiral into madness, but simply mirror her behaviour. If she's cool, back off. If she's hot, make the most of it and escalate. Where most guys fail is when the girl backs off, they chase and then it's pretty much over.

My advice to you is to keep your options open, and keep chatting up more girls and spinning plates. When you have an abundance of women, this kind of behaviour doesn't even faze you and she will pick up on that.

 

[DonJuanit0]

This is one of the great mysteries of women. They pretty much all blow hot and cold at some time. No one can tell you why. She could be testing you, she could have another guy she's into or an ex she's not quite over, she could be independent and trying to stop things moving too fast, she might be playing mind games with you to try and gain power or she might be afraid of losing your interest and is playing it cool, she might be playing the field...or one of a million other reasons.

The key is to stop trying to understand because it's a spiral into madness, but simply mirror her behaviour. If she's cool, back off. If she's hot, make the most of it and escalate. Where most guys fail is when the girl backs off, they chase and then it's pretty much over.

My advice to you is to keep your options open, and keep chatting up more girls and spinning plates. When you have an abundance of women, this kind of behaviour doesn't even faze you and she will pick up on that.

Absolutely agree with you but he said it happens with all women!

 

[nismo-4]

Mirror their behavior. In later stages, this is called mixed (negative) signals. Means low-no interest.

 

[FortunateSon]

Mirror their behavior. In later stages, this is called mixed (negative) signals. Means low-no interest.

Thank you for that, even if I did like any of these women you have saved me valuable time.

Quite why a girl would tell me she likes me and then suddenly have no interest is quite puzzling though. I think she may well be mentally unstable because I don't consider that to be normal behaviour.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

I can't be bothered with games, so I'm just going to ignore women like this now, they can get their kicks from someone else, but I just don't get women behavior and it's this type of sh*t that makes me thing twice about getting back into the whole dating game because it seems like one big waste of time.

That's your problem right there. It sounds like on some level you recognize that you don't know how attraction works and how to make elevate that initial interest.

I suggest you start asking questions and reading around here to start to connect the dots.

If you keep doing what your doing, nothing will change. You might get a few girls here and there, but those girls will be well below the level of attractiveness you really want and no matter what any girls SAYS, you must know how to play the game that's always going on no matter what or you'll be sitting on the sidelines.









PIMP

 

[Wingedsig]

One of 2 Things.

I am used to this type of behavior as well. It means one of 2 things to me:

1.) Push-Pull strategy as dictated in "the Game" and some of the material on this board. This is quite confounding to the psyche and elicits the exact kind of thought process you are going through now. Can be used if the chick is $hyt testing or playing hard to get.
2.) The worse scenario. Her IL has dropped substantially.

Normally in my experience it has been one of the two. I might add though as others have stated if she is using "The Rules" or whatever, and you are employing strategy as well, expect a giant cluster-f$&*. These situations rarely work out well.

 

[FortunateSon]

I am used to this type of behavior as well. It means one of 2 things to me:

1.) Push-Pull strategy as dictated in "the Game" and some of the material on this board. This is quite confounding to the psyche and elicits the exact kind of thought process you are going through now. Can be used if the chick is $hyt testing or playing hard to get.
2.) The worse scenario. Her IL has dropped substantially.

Normally in my experience it has been one of the two. I might add though as others have stated if she is using "The Rules" or whatever, and you are employing strategy as well, expect a giant cluster-f$&*. These situations rarely work out well.

Well I found out she has a boyfriend through another colleague, so clearly she's just been wanting attention etc and fortunately for me I haven't given her much and I have just ignored her at work over the last few days.

If I'm doing it wrong then let me know, but I just cannot be bothered with girls like this, not worth the hassle and plus she is single, so she's off limits as far as I'm concerned.

 

[FortunateSon]

That's your problem right there. It sounds like on some level you recognize that you don't know how attraction works and how to make elevate that initial interest.

I suggest you start asking questions and reading around here to start to connect the dots.

If you keep doing what your doing, nothing will change. You might get a few girls here and there, but those girls will be well below the level of attractiveness you really want and no matter what any girls SAYS, you must know how to play the game that's always going on no matter what or you'll be sitting on the sidelines.









PIMP

I'll have to be honest I have no clue, I just take the "if it's to be, it's to be and if it isn't, then it isn't" approach to most things in life, in particular the game.

I'll re-read the DJ bible again.

 

[FortunateSon]

Now she's blowing hot again, even though I have spent the last week ignoring her.

I haven't really engaged her tbh, I'm bored of her, she has a boyfriend, so nothing would happen anyway, but damn, how do I handle this? I'm not developing feelings for this chick or anything, but I am so confused by her behaviour it's not even funny and all I want to do is to go work and not have put up with this sh*t when all I'm trying to do is earn an honest wage.

Does anyone have any advice? How do I handle this? What am I doing wrong?