BLOWN OFF??? Make me understand this!

[Serg897]

The only mistake you made was texting after the date, and subsequently freaking out about her lack of response. STOP TEXTING. All you do is call for the next date.

Wait several more days then CALL her for another date. Make it something more interesting this time.

 

[Smartone84]

Ok guys, for those of you wondering how this story played out, here it is....

Last Monday came (one week ago today), and I was ready to give my last ditch effort of asking her out. Before I did so however, I started off with a quick text asking how her Christmas was.

NO RESPONSE.

And that was it. Monday at 7pm, never wrote back that night. It was over, plain and simple. So I thought..

TUESDAY around 7pm, over 24 HOURS LATER, this girl writes me back!!! wtf. She says it was good and how she just got out of the gym. NO QUESTION AS TO HOW MY CHRISTMAS WAS OR ANYTHING. This girl apparently does WHAT she wants, WHEN she wants!!! But i'm wondering why in the world would she text me back at ALL if she's looking to blow me off!?!? Attention wh0re? I think SO.

Anyway, I text her back an hour later saying "Sounds fun". THAT'S it. What kind of a girl is this who texts me back 24 hrs later and then doesn't even have the decency to ask me how my christmas was too????? is this a 28 yr old or an 8 year old?

She then writes me back saying "It was an intense work out!"

Ok, whatever...

So who knows, maybe she was STILL somewhat interested, and what did I REALLY have to lose?

So Wednesday came(12/28/11), and instead of starting with any bs, i straight up ask her "Wanna get some drinks and watch the game on Sunday?"

Response: "I'm not sure whats going on Sunday yet"

and there u have it. I was done. DONE.

And then, just like I had a SMALL idea about in the back of my head, I didn't hear the end of this girl. Sunday afternoon, at like 4pm, she asks me what i'm doing for the game tonight at 8. (she likes the Giants too as do I). I tell her how im going to a local bar with a friend, and she tells me she'll be at a bar down the road with some of her friendS and that we're welcome to come join them, etc etc.

So still going with this nothing to lose attitude, I suck it up, dress nice, and head to the bar. Long story short, we had a pretty damn good time and everyone had fun watching the game and interacting with each other. Some good kino from me to her including a back rub for a few seconds, etc. She is WAY into her friends and this was already apparent by her facebook, but now seeing her in person with them opened my eyes more. Me and my friend agreed that this is a 28 yr old girl stuck in a 22 yr olds body. They just went on and on at some points about fun things they have done, and how CRAZY new years eve was, etc. Idk, just not my type of girl. I'm not one for running to clubs and bars at all anymore every weekend, while she still seems to be into that lifestyle. Still, she's super hot, and quite nice when it comes down to it. Also some signs of high maintenance but i'll take my chances, especially if i can maybe hit it. There was also one point where she seemed to specifically sit next to me so she can talk to me for a good half an hour.

Overall, things went well, but i just do NOT know what to make of this girl other than that she is basically someone who just likes to have fun, and isn't sure WHAT she wants in life, at least from a guy. When we left I said i'll talk to u soon and gave her a peck. She didn't seem into talking to me at all about making any possible plans this week, but thats expected at this point after seeing how this girl works. Who knows anymore.

YOUR THOUGHTS??

 

[st_99]

"Wanna get some drinks and watch the game on Sunday?"

Well, you got to the point, which is good, instead of endless back and forth
texting....

Having said that, this girl is probably your typical, lots of options girl (aren't they all) and you simply don't wow her enough for her to care that much. Maybe you're ok but she probably has a lot of 'ok' options. Thats my guess.

Sooo, what to do? All you can do is not care, don't burn bridges by getting dramatic or frustrated, and continue to try for more girls. Thats the winning formula.

 

[Smartone84]

True. Just pisses me off to see girls like this at that age. I'm 27, kinda lookin for a gf now. Not that easy to get numbers/dates these days. Just hope im not completely wasting my time

 

[perseverance]

She doesn't sound interested, just move on. If one day she decides she is interested then hit it up, but other than that I wouldn't bother pursuing her, it will be a futile exercise and a waste of your time.

 

[TopGun2000]

you are probably wasting your time here if she doesn't know what she wants

 

[Smartone84]

I never said she doesn't know what she wants. Thats not known. I am just assuming. If I get her out on one more date I plan on talking about that a bit.

And perseverance, how do you know? She DID come to ME after all asking me to hang out. We had an ok time. Just a few question marks about her. Gotta get her out one more time I think...

 

[DonJuan11]

Ok so its my first time back here in YEARS and I need some advice from the very best PUA's out there. At 27, I recently got out of a year long relationship and have been back in the game for a bit now. I'm going to try and make this short and sweet...

This past Tuesday night I went on what was one of the best dates in my entire life. I met her through a friend and we chatted on facebook and then via text leading up to the date. When I originally asked her out she was busy but countered with another day which was a good sign. We went to dinner and had just an amazing time. Now she was very outgoing, and she's very mature, so that helped a great bit (28 yrs old). We literally were there for a little over 2 hours as we even got coffee at the end which was HER idea might I add. Of course I picked up the bill and we were on our way.

So... Before I drop her off I hug her goodbye and then go in for a kiss which ultimately turned into a full fledged MAKE OUT session. This girl was absolutely beautiful and this was the icing on the cake for this date. I went home with such a smile on my face and one that I hadn't had in quite some time. Now at 27, I feel like I've been around enough to know that a girl usually doesn't kiss or especially MAKE OUT with a guy unless she wants to. I felt like I was in for sure and we even talked about a second date before I dropped her off when I said how I would like to see her again to which she agreed. (earlier in the date I cracked a joke about how 'we'll see')

Now for the interesting part. After the date she went to some bar with friends, so the next day at about 11am or so I throw her a quick text asking her how it was. It took the girl FOUR hours to write me back a text message, which did not include anything but the answer to my question. No "how was your day" or "Had fun last night". Nothing.

You had a good time with a girl you made out with, leave it at that. She could be busy, she could be tired, she could have lost her phone, she could have got hurt the night before, family emergency, etc. She's not your employee or your wife to respond right away. She's a girl you had ONE date with.

Of course she could be playing the game a bit, playing it cool, or whatever you want to call it, but it just rubs me the wrong way how it took her that long.

Which means your ego is very high and you're worried more about her reaction to you than yourself.

I then wrote back to her an hour later at 430pm.

At 1030pm at night I get another text from her about the bar from the night before. I found this text interesting bc if she WAS looking to blow me off, you can say she definitely wouldnt have gone out of the way to text me again like that. This was all Wednesday. Thursday afternoon comes and I answer the text from the night before. This time she takes THREE hours to write me back, again with no question for me or anything. Here's a girl who undoubtedly enjoyed herself on the date (please don't doubt me) and just to add to that, MAKES OUT with me at the end, and now it seems like she does not want to get to know me better at all, and is taking hours on end to write back to my text messages.

Again, your ego is VERY high. This girl had a good time on ONE date and made with you. Don't expect her to be a full fledged girlfriend after one date, don't expect her to respond right away to you. She doesn't owe you anything.

Fed up on Thursday night, I throw her one final text which she responds to me two hours later and finally makes some conversation to me asking what i'm up to tonight. After a few more back and forth texts with me playing it very cool and not trying to jump down her throat,

Jump down a girls throat for not responding ASAP to your texts after one date? Oh man. What would you do if you were dating for 5 months and she flirted with the cute guy at the restaurant, slit her throat? Dude, take it easy and put some things in perspective.

the convo ends. That was thursday night. It is now SUNDAY, and I have not heard a thing from her after waiting to see if she would finally come to me for once. Sure yesterday was xmas eve and today is xmas day, but I'm just very confused about all of this.

Perhaps she is dating several other guys and thought about it and actually didn't like me much??

Now we're getting somewhere.

- Maybe she had a fight with her 6'1 hockey player boyfriend and wanted to get her boat rocked by some other guy that night
- Maybe she wanted to see if she was still attractive
- Maybe she had a bet with her friends she could make out with a guy

Don't take yourself so seriously and don't trust people to react the way you want them to.

 

[mark420]

man, i know I'm just a lurker, but why are you putting so much effort into this chick? you think she's on a message board asking questions about you? seems to me like you're just another guy in her life, nothing special at all. she is probably bragging to her friends about how she had you wrapped around you're little finger when your'e not around. after that "i don't know whats going on sunday" text i would have been done with her. total blatant disrespect. shers basically telling you there that she might go out with you if nothing else better comes up. if she then sent me a random text asking what i was doing i would not have responded. either she probably wouldn't care and you guys would not talk anymore or she would care and probably try and find out why you didn't respond to her text. can you imagine if you ended up going to that bar with some other chick you're dating? probably would have put her into a jealous rage. you have already put in more then enough work and time into this chick. kick back, take a break from it and let her give you some attention for once. if you do not here from her then she has little to no interest. if you do hear from her, then you can apply some of the stuff you learned here and not make those mistakes. its clear that here interest in you is not all that high, so why beat yourself over it. I'm sure all of us have been with or dated a girl that as crazy for you and wouldn't stop calling/texting but this chick isn't doing that.

my advice to you is date AS MANY women as possible and do not stop doing so until you are in a steady relationship. the more women you date, the less likely this type of **** will bother you, the less likely you will come off as an AFC in you're dates(because of other women you're dating), and more importantly, they will all be competing for your free time if you're always telling them you can't do something with them on a particular night.


and ALWAYS ALWAYS remember, there are plenty of other hot chicks around. sometimes people forget this and end up dropping everyone and everything for one chick.

 

[Iceberg]

I never said she doesn't know what she wants. Thats not known. I am just assuming. If I get her out on one more date I plan on talking about that a bit.

Talking about what for a bit?

What she wants from a relationship? Where do you think that conversation is going to take you. If there is ANYTHING you should remember from this site, it's - Judge a woman's actions. Not her words.

You should never sit down with any woman and ask, "So, what are you looking for?" They will always.....always always make it clear.

Besides...you're a man. A woman doesn't want to hear you asking them about relationship crap. That's a woman's role.

And perseverance, how do you know? She DID come to ME after all asking me to hang out. We had an ok time. Just a few question marks about her. Gotta get her out one more time I think...

Perseverance (and everyone else) knows because it seems like the logical conclusion.

Obviously, no one can be 100% sure. But if your buddy came to you, obsessing about some girl who barely gives him the time of day, you'd be telling him the same thing perseverance told you.

"She came to you asking you to hang out"....yeah, to watch a football game with a bunch of friends. How'd that work out for you?

 

[Atom Smasher]

Your response of "Sounds fun" was as unimaginative as can be and she picked up on that. You seem to relate in a direct, literal way with women and take it from one who used to be that way, that is as exciting to a girl as a wet dish-rag.

I recommend that you learn the art of verbal jousting, which is a huge turn-on to women.

The other guys have said it all, but I have to say this whole thing reads like "Moby D!ck".

 

[perseverance]

And perseverance, how do you know? She DID come to ME after all asking me to hang out. We had an ok time. Just a few question marks about her. Gotta get her out one more time I think...

If a girl is interested in a guy and wants to get to know him better/spend time with him, the last thing she'll want to do is have her friends and his friends anywhere in the vicinity, that's why dates exist in this world.

Also "I'm not sure whats going on Sunday yet" - this says everything I need to know. A woman who is interested would have said yes (if she had nothing else planned). This girl had nothing planned and put your suggestion on the backburner. There's a lot to be taken from the "Never make someone a priority when they only see you as an option" and that's what you're doing here.

I think you're wasting your time, but that's just me, if you feel differently then persue it, the choice is yours.

 

[1ncredible]

Sounds like you're chasing a dead duck mate. IL is low or zero.

 

[yomismo]

for her you are just not that guy...you are doing like the rest...chase her after she disrespected you.
Go away,ignore her and her BS...you will get then her attention.
Nonetheless, i think you went to strong on this one...way too strong and she picked it...lost case, im afraid...

 

[Smartone84]

You guys are very cool for caring and giving me all your thoughts, but I'm not sure some of you have read the entire story.

Your response of "Sounds fun" was as unimaginative as can be and she picked up on that. You seem to relate in a direct, literal way with women and take it from one who used to be that way, that is as exciting to a girl as a wet dish-rag.

Atom Smasher, do you even know WHY i texted her back with that lame duck response?? Do you think thats the way I usually text/talk to girls?? I wrote back like that b/c the girl basically disrespected the hel out of me by taking 24 HOURS to write me back when i asked her how her xmas was, and then didn't even have the decency to ask me how MINE was. She's an immature fool who in all honesty was lucky she got ANY kind of response from me.

For the others who keep sticking to the "She doesn't like you" idea, you may very well be right... and I agree i was disrespected with the text of her when she said :

"I don't know whats going on Sunday yet"

If she wanted to see me, she WOULD HAVE said yes right there, you're right (Mark 420)

After that text I was DONE. I was never talking to her ever again. I know the deal and i'm not oblivious.

When she came to me Sunday about the game i figured i had nothing to lose so i shot over to the bar and had a pretty good time. That was that.


NOW- for the update - Monday she texts me TWO SEPARATE times during the day. Both comments, no questions. Just making small talk about stuff about how she is mad she has to wake up for work tomorrow after all her time off, etc. I wrote back simple but funny type responses. That was it. Never went to her at all. She came to ME. Is it possible now that this girl's IL is growing a bit? Not holding my breath too much, but we'll see.

All I know is that whether its a hit and quit, or a few more dates, i'm willing to hang on with the "I don't really care" attitude.

I'm thinking of waitin til thursday night and asking her to hang Saturday. That way I can have her for a full weekend night with no worries of work or anything in the morning. Would definitely be great. WIll i get the date? We'll see...

Pimpsicle if you're out there, your thoughts??

 

[AAAgent]

girls are retarded and i dated one just like this that had me so confused. She was all flirty and responsive at first then started responding in super long intervals and sometimes not at all. I gave up trying to understand her and i made it a point to continually ask her out by phone call which she kept blowing off as she made the convo's really short.

I made it a point to see this girl in person and found a way to meet at a mutual event where she showed up to. We didn't plan it. I again kept trying to open her up. failed. Next day, i send her a few text and she responds quickly then i straight up ask her out to dinner while she is responding on time. She puts up some sh1t test which i blow through and she says yes.

don't be fooled by their games just be persistent and do what you have to do and get that date.

 

[Smartone84]

Thanks man

 

[AAAgent]

also I think there are two types of guys girls are generally interested in and you're not one of them atm.

1.) The guy who is confident and persistent.

He doesn't care if the girl likes him or not as he goes after what he wants.

2.) The mysterious guy who the girl is intrigued by and doesn't know if he likes her.

Girls will try to get this type of guys attention but will always fail to do so thereby making her resort to throwing herself at him.
---
you don't really fit either.

You were close to being the first guy but you were worried about whether she likes you or not. If she doesn't like you she will tell you to go away. Judge her based off her actions. If she had a good time and seemed into, then she is into you and don't think otherwise.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Atom Smasher, do you even know WHY i texted her back with that lame duck response?? Do you think thats the way I usually text/talk to girls?? I wrote back like that b/c the girl basically disrespected the hel out of me by taking 24 HOURS to write me back when i asked her how her xmas was, and then didn't even have the decency to ask me how MINE was. She's an immature fool who in all honesty was lucky she got ANY kind of response from me.

Got it, but how can an "immature fool" be worth anything at all to a man? I personally spend my efforts trying to eliminate those as they're not worth my time.

 

[Smartone84]

So after Monday's situation of her coming to me twice with texts, tuesday came and went with nothing. Then today, i put up a facebook status and she private messages me talking about it! IL is growing now one would think. I write back a quick thing and that was it. No questions or anything.

Later that night i text her and ask her out for sat night. She tells me she has her friends bday that night. No counter. She THEN tells me she this!!!!:

"I would invite you to come but she's a newer friend and girls are weird sometimes... I'm sure you know this!"


LOL!!!!!!

what a joke imo

THEN, a half hour later SHE IMs me on facebook saying whats up and having basic chit chat. Perhaps feeling bad she had to turn me down? WHo knows. Then why wouldn't she counter????

can't figure this chick out, but at this point, i feel like i'm chasing a 21 year old girl still obsessed with going out and partying, and playing with guys heads