Blocking the ex, sign of winning?

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Don Juan
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Hello, I haven't posted in a couple of weeks things have been getting better with time and I'm learning a lot of new material that I'm using atm with my new girlfriend. I have a question I wanted to ask this community.

It's been 4 months since I last spoke to my ex, she got into a relationship a week later after breaking up with me and is now in a relationship with this guy who moved in to her house the same week. She's BPD.

Since BPD love 'winning' and use anything to manipulate ect. to gain power. Would blocking her now give her the power that I'm still thinking about her ect?

I deleted her from social media since the breakup but did not block her but we still manage to stalk each other pages constantly. She posts her new boyfriend everywhere and I stood strong these past 4 months but now today I blocked her and I feel like I made a mistake by giving her the power back.

She called me a month ago when she found out I was in a new relationship and I ignored her call which made the ball go to my court but now since doing this I feel like I gave her the power back. I don't want her to feel any power towards me. Unblocking her now would give her even more power.

What do you think?
 

Trump

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I have a question I wanted to ask this community.

It's been 4 months since I last spoke to my ex, she got into a relationship a week later after breaking up with me and is now in a relationship with this guy who moved in to her house the same week. She's BPD.
Bro as soon as you say the girl who met, dated, loved and had constant sex with has a clinically diagnosed disorder from the national institute of mental health, everything else is tainted. Any response given to any question is tainted because of her clinically diagnosed "bpd."

Since BPD love 'winning' and use anything to manipulate ect. to gain power. Would blocking her now give her the power that I'm still thinking about her ect?

I deleted her from social media since the breakup but did not block her but we still manage to stalk each other pages constantly. She posts her new boyfriend everywhere and I stood strong these past 4 months but now today I blocked her and I feel like I made a mistake by giving her the power back.

She called me a month ago when she found out I was in a new relationship and I ignored her call which made the ball go to my court but now since doing this I feel like I gave her the power back. I don't want her to feel any power towards me. Unblocking her now would give her even more power.

What do you think?
Come on bro, if you are still in love with your ex-girlfriend, just call her and say "Even though you are having sex with your 6'1 boyfriend every night, I think I'm still in love with you and cannot handle these power play games. Please come back to me and have sex with me."

If you are not in love with her, move on. o_O
 

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Don Juan
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Bro as soon as you say the girl who met, dated, loved and had constant sex with has a clinically diagnosed disorder from the national institute of mental health, everything else is tainted. Any response given to any question is tainted because of her clinically diagnosed "bpd."



Come on bro, if you are still in love with your ex-girlfriend, just call her and say "Even though you are having sex with your 6'1 boyfriend every night, I think I'm still in love with you and cannot handle these power play games. Please come back to me and have sex with me."

If you are not in love with her, move on. o_O
You didn't answer my question. I don't want her back. I'm interested in knowing this information.

By me doing this is she winning back the power?
 

Julian

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bro think about this for a second and STFU! no offense. but WHAT power are you even talking about? some imaginary sh1t thats in your head. you arent with her anymore. there is no power play, the only power here is what your making it out to be in your mind.
 

thatfeel

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Guy. Consider the fact that every time you think about your ex you are giving her "power". She is not in your life anymore. You deserve better. Free yourself from these chains.
 

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I need some Machiavellians in this thread who know what I'm talking about psychologically
 

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bro think about this for a second and STFU! no offense. but WHAT power are you even talking about? some imaginary sh1t thats in your head. you arent with her anymore. there is no power play, the only power here is what your making it out to be in your mind.
There is a power play here.

Have you heard of GIGS or No contact? You know how they play right?
If you give your ex attention while shes in a rebound relationship, it would only ensure her that fact that she did the right thing and make the rebound relationship a success.

If you don't give her attention and go complete no contact, she would realize the mistakes she made and miss you.

This is the power play I'm talking about.
 

mrgoodstuff

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There is a power play here.

Have you heard of GIGS or No contact? You know how they play right?
If you give your ex attention while shes in a rebound relationship, it would only ensure her that fact that she did the right thing and make the rebound relationship a success.

If you don't give her attention and go complete no contact, she would realize the mistakes she made and miss you.

This is the power play I'm talking about.
Use your new time that you have not being with and not worry about her to do something. Use it in the gym or for reading to advance your knowledge.
 

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Use your new time that you have not being with and not worry about her to do something. Use it in the gym or for reading to advance your knowledge.
I don't care about her guys. I'm trying to figure out this situation for future reference, i've been reading constantly for four months now. I have now read 9 books trying to fill my knowledge on this and psychology. This is just a question I have that no one seems to get.

I need someone with more experience to answer.
 

Trump

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- We still manage to stalk each other pages constantly.

- Would blocking her now give her the power that I'm still thinking about her?

- By me doing this is she winning back the power?

- I don't want her back.
Bro you are not making any sense. You are concerned your ex girlfriend, who is likely sleeping with 6'3 hockey player, may get back the power. Get back the power in what? A non existent relationship where you don't want her back? If you don't want her back what dynamic are you talking about?


There is a power play here.

If you give your ex attention while shes in a rebound relationship, it would only ensure her that fact that she did the right thing and make the rebound relationship a success.

If you don't give her attention and go complete no contact, she would realize the mistakes she made and miss you.

This is the power play I'm talking about.
Why do you care if she misses you? You don't want her back, right? Bro think about it: you are asking about upper hand and power in a relationship where you want nothing to do with the girl. Doesn't that sound weird to you?

Anyway I wouldn't "block" any girl. Unless they are harassing you, there is no point.

I wouldn't talk to an ex either. Unless I'm absolutely 110% in love with her and can't live without her; or have business with her. :up:
 

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Bro you are not making any sense. You are concerned your ex girlfriend, who is likely sleeping with 6'3 hockey player, may get back the power. Get back the power in what? A non existent relationship where you don't want her back? If you don't want her back what dynamic are you talking about?




Why do you care if she misses you? You don't want her back, right? Bro think about it: you are asking about upper hand and power in a relationship where you want nothing to do with the girl. Doesn't that sound weird to you?

Anyway I wouldn't "block" any girl. Unless they are harassing you, there is no point.

I wouldn't talk to an ex either. Unless I'm absolutely 110% in love with her and can't live without her; or have business with her. :up:
I used my situation as an example. This is something I want to know generally. In any relationship. I just so happen to be in a situation where I acted upon this. This is to look back on for my own. As for reference.

Blocking someone a couple of months after a break up, gives the dumper power or not? Does it reassure her of her decisions to stay with her rebound?
 

Trump

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I used my situation as an example. This is something I want to know generally. In any relationship. I just so happen to be in a situation where I acted upon this. This is to look back on for my own. As for reference.

Blocking someone a couple of months after a break up, gives the dumper power or not? Does it reassure her of her decisions to stay with her rebound?
By blocking her you made more of a statement that you are in love with her. You are telling her you can't emotionally handle her pictures, her happiness and her boyfriend. But if you unblock after blocking her she'll know you are even more in love with her as you are curious to see who she is with.

But bro tell the truth the question is pretty weak on the verge on dumb. Your ex girlfriend, who told you to go to hell when she dumped you, is probably getting such good sex from her 6'2 boyfriend that she doesn't even remember your name after the sex. So all this 'in any relationship, if I block an ex, does it give her power?' Not really. She is too busy having sex with her boyfriend and getting presents from him to care about power in a relationship that she ended 120 days ago.
 

dude99

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Hello, I haven't posted in a couple of weeks things have been getting better with time and I'm learning a lot of new material that I'm using atm with my new girlfriend. I have a question I wanted to ask this community.

It's been 4 months since I last spoke to my ex, she got into a relationship a week later after breaking up with me and is now in a relationship with this guy who moved in to her house the same week. She's BPD.

Since BPD love 'winning' and use anything to manipulate ect. to gain power. Would blocking her now give her the power that I'm still thinking about her ect?

I deleted her from social media since the breakup but did not block her but we still manage to stalk each other pages constantly. She posts her new boyfriend everywhere and I stood strong these past 4 months but now today I blocked her and I feel like I made a mistake by giving her the power back.

She called me a month ago when she found out I was in a new relationship and I ignored her call which made the ball go to my court but now since doing this I feel like I gave her the power back. I don't want her to feel any power towards me. Unblocking her now would give her even more power.

What do you think?
She is an ex.
You have a current GF.
She is BPD.
Ball in your court her court, tennis court who gives a crap.
Who cares what she thinks. Next her and don't give her a second thought.
 

dude99

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You didn't answer my question. I don't want her back. I'm interested in knowing this information.

By me doing this is she winning back the power?
If you honesty do not care, then she has no power no matter what happens.
 

marmel75

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It's a sign of you realizing you need to do something but also realizing you aren't mentally strong enough to do it without blocking her. Its basically forcing her to be out of your life. Nothing wrong with it, but I'd never do it because I wouldn't need to, I could handle any contact attempts or anything else coming from her.

I kind of view it as a crutch, but some people need it so they don't fall back into their old ways, which is commendable they realize they needed to change and are doing something about it.
 

Glassguy

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Hello, I haven't posted in a couple of weeks things have been getting better with time and I'm learning a lot of new material that I'm using atm with my new girlfriend. I have a question I wanted to ask this community.

It's been 4 months since I last spoke to my ex, she got into a relationship a week later after breaking up with me and is now in a relationship with this guy who moved in to her house the same week. She's BPD.

Since BPD love 'winning' and use anything to manipulate ect. to gain power. Would blocking her now give her the power that I'm still thinking about her ect?

I deleted her from social media since the breakup but did not block her but we still manage to stalk each other pages constantly. She posts her new boyfriend everywhere and I stood strong these past 4 months but now today I blocked her and I feel like I made a mistake by giving her the power back.

She called me a month ago when she found out I was in a new relationship and I ignored her call which made the ball go to my court but now since doing this I feel like I gave her the power back. I don't want her to feel any power towards me. Unblocking her now would give her even more power.

What do you think?
Blocking and going NC is a sign of you having respect of yourself to exit the situation. It has nothing to do with winning or losing, as the game surely will go on. Just new players on the field so to speak.
 

PantyWhisperer

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I think it can signal to her that you care about her still. If that's what you mean then, yes the block does give her "some" power - that self-satisfaction of knowing she imprinted herself on you. Of course, reversing the block makes that even worse. Would have been better just to remain NC and unfriended but not blocked. I have an ex, about 4 months in the rearview mirror, full NC with multiple attempts by her to connect, and would love to either unfriend or block her. But I don't want to give her the satisfaction of knowing she still gets to me. And if that's what you mean by power, then yes blocking her was not a good move.
 

NiceBarn

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This pertains to blocking, I've been doing no contact since about late January. I deleted her off everything social media and phone #s etc. The first few months were tough emotionally and physically because I couldn't avoid her due to work. After she found a new job I hadn't seen her and it was easy to no contact.

About the 60 day mark I started getting random snapchats. They weren't directly for me but I was somehow included. I think about day 90 I responded to one maybe to get some nudes lol. No dice. So fast forward to now (6 months later). Last week I got a Facebook request and I didn't accept. A few days went by I stupidly got drunk and responded with, "why do you keep sending me things?" She said I won't anymore then blocked me.

i never accepted so why block me? Lol. Butt hurt?
 

devilkingx2

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This pertains to blocking, I've been doing no contact since about late January. I deleted her off everything social media and phone #s etc. The first few months were tough emotionally and physically because I couldn't avoid her due to work. After she found a new job I hadn't seen her and it was easy to no contact.

About the 60 day mark I started getting random snapchats. They weren't directly for me but I was somehow included. I think about day 90 I responded to one maybe to get some nudes lol. No dice. So fast forward to now (6 months later). Last week I got a Facebook request and I didn't accept. A few days went by I stupidly got drunk and responded with, "why do you keep sending me things?" She said I won't anymore then blocked me.

i never accepted so why block me? Lol. Butt hurt?
she thinks she won on that one, let her think that
 

Billtx49

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The only thing about blocking a girl, is it tells her that you thought about her enough to do it. NC usually projects that you are Not thinking about her.
 
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