Blind date

[Cinamon]

A friend set me up on a blind date with a friend of hers. We met, and about half an hour in to the date he got an emergency call and had to leave, cutting our date very very short. although this annoyed me considerably, i was mature and patient and left things on a good note. He said he wants to rearrange our date.... and was very apologetic.

The thing is, the conversation was far more stimulating when we were on the phone... but could the lack of conversation be down to nerves.

I caught him glancing at my bust(which thankfully is big) several times, or was it my gut(which is unfortunately big) that he was looking at?

Do i call him and see if he managed to resolve the emergency or would it be more appropriate to wait for him to contact me.

Should i just give up on this particular guy?

I have never been on a date that was this much effort... What is going on in his head?

 

[Cinamon]

I didnt realise this forum was for men only... oops. Would appreciate some guidance from a mans point of view anyway.

 

[Cabal]

Hi, welcome.

I've pulled this stunt before, always on a blind date I have someone ready for an 'emergency escape plan', which means if I text they phone me and give me a reason to bail.

If he's bailed and you weren't talking about marriage, kids, or meeting his parents, or generally acting crazy, then he's probably got serious issues - if a guy goes on a blind date and leaves for no other reason than he didn't like what he saw, and leaves the date alone in public, he's a *bleep*. Even if you're not to his taste, that's no excuse for such a lack of chivalry and you have had a lucky escape.

 

[Cinamon]

Hi, welcome.

I've pulled this stunt before, always on a blind date I have someone ready for an 'emergency escape plan', which means if I text they phone me and give me a reason to bail.

If he's bailed and you weren't talking about marriage, kids, or meeting his parents, or generally acting crazy, then he's probably got serious issues - if a guy goes on a blind date and leaves for no other reason than he didn't like what he saw, and leaves the date alone in public, he's a *bleep*. Even if you're not to his taste, that's no excuse for such a lack of chivalry and you have had a lucky escape.

He was a real gutless wonder. I dont understand why people cant be honest. I have always been direct, if a date isn't going well, i generally tell the guy at the end of the date why i wont be seeing them again. What i dont understand is, even if he'd stayed for another hour or so, it wouldnt have been so rude... but half an hour is a real joke. His loss, i have a lot to offer in terms of a relationship or a casual fling and now he will never know!

 

[mothballs]

Welcome to the forums and yes it is mostly guys, but there are a few girls on here, so don't feel like you have to leave... it's probably a decent place to really understand what the hell is going on in the minds of men.

Anyway, I have to agree it was his gutless way of getting out of a date he felt was not going well. Some guys just don't have the balls to say that it's just not happening... so they tell a buddy to phone a half hour or an hour into the date when they will either declare an emergency and bail or just bull**** for a second with their friend and continue with the date if they are feeling "it".

Don't bother calling him... if it really was an unplanned event he'll call you back. If he doesn't contact him, forget him and keep looking. There's plenty of guys out there.

 

[Cinamon]

I couldnt resist not contacting him, so I left him an e mail telling him he was a spineless wonder and not to bother contacting me again. I deserve better than that.

Now I am ready for a night out and am going to enjoy myself. Relationships are way to much hassle... start with fun and see where it goes.

 

[Cinamon]

Ok, so i went out for a walk earlier and bumped in to the guy above. It had been 5 weeks or so since the above happened. It was a bit awkward, but he was really offeneded by the message i left him, and he genuinly had to go in to work for an emergency. Things were awkward to start with, we kind of talked through them.

I obviously aired my issues, that he never even gave me a goodbye kiss which is common courtesy and that he didnt contact me for a few days after to make ammends or set up next date. All this added to the bizarreish behaviour he was demnstrating on the night made me assume he werent in to me.

He claims he liked me, and the reason he was keeping a small distance and acting a bit bizarre was cause he had a raging hard on, and didnt want to make me uncomfrtable, etc, etc.

He's asked me out again, and says he like me alot and wants to be bf gf and I said i would think about it. His whole mannerism was a bit controlling though, and he seemed a bit possessive. I am not big on giving dates second chances? We've got all that negative energy around us and I dont think it will work. I am also still bit pissed off with him. So I see three outcomes to this:

1. Just leave things and say i dont wanna know, thank you and goodbye
2. Do the dating thing properly and let him redeem himself and see where it goes
3. Go out on one date, show him how good dates and sex is with me, and walk away saying you will never get that again cause you messed up the first time.

I really want to go with number 3, but what if he becomes one of those stalker blokes. Am i being a *****. I still feel like i have a chip on my shoulder bout it.

And to be honest, I aint going to get what i want out of him, Asian guys just wont put out like black and white men do, its all about their needs, and they see women as second grade citizens no matter how fine the woman is. What would you guys do?

 

[Cure]

Forget him and move on. Its just not worth it.

Lets say you go with number 3. why? what are you getting out of it?
It might make you feel better in the short term, but for a start, giving him sex when hes done nothing to diserve it, simply to spite him afterward, seems highly likly to backfire on you.

Option 1. because there are loads of great guys out there who will treat you right, and this ones not worth your time and energy, either to date, or to waste time worrying about/getting back at him.

I dont know the situation in detail, but thats my gut feeling.

Cure

 

[countermart]

Cinamon,
Tell me to shut up if you like but reading your comments my impression is that you come over as way too aggressive. You are the one with bizarre behaviour . All your plans, demands and schemes of what to do with/have this guy do/dictate how this guy should act etc, send shivers up my spine and red warning lights go off in my head.

Sure he may have wanted to get away or he may have had a genuine emergency, but you following up with an email telling him he was a spineless wonder! Almost every guy I know would walk after that, basically who needs the drama. I’ll tell you one thing he is only a spineless wonder if he ever wants to hook up with you again.

It was a blind date, how many of them work out?

Chill out Cinamon, I know your ego has been punctured and you appear to want revenge, but I can tell you most guys with a bit of experience can sense the aggression/revenge/demanding characteristic in a women and will run, and that is before you need to sent an email confirming these characteristic about yourself.

I am not saying this as a criticism of you, just your behaviour, and behaviour is something you can change. If you try and be less aggressive and more chill you will probably have a lot more “success”.

Good luck.

Countermart