Bitterness and a Negative view on Women

[Lozboss]

Hi Djs and aspiring DJs,

So I wanted some advice from those who might have experienced a similar mindset.

Brief synopsis:

Finally broke up with the ex 7 weeks ago after finally deciding that it was time to be a man and put my happiness first.

Since then I've swallowed the red pill, read and digested numerous sources that have opened my eyes to my past and both talked and advised others who are going through similar issues.

Since then I've struggled. With what?

With Bitterness, with a Negative view on women as a collective.

I'm not the type of person to be Jaded or bitter, Before my LTR I had always been happy, content and 'don't give a sh*t'.

However, As I've truly come to understand women more I've found that I can't help but feel a bitterness and have a disrespectful view of them.

Eg. I identify and pass sh*t tests, I can disarm b*tch shield but each time I do I can't help but feel negativity toward these women.

I feel it's affecting me, I want to get back to being happy but also being aware (this is not a 'lets go back to blue pill topic).

Any advice much appreciated! Thanks in Advice.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Ah yes - I remember having those same feelings when I first started learning how this whole dating thing REALLY works.

What you're experiencing is a reality mind shift - you're being confronted by information that tells you women do, can, and have used tactics of their own to get things out of you they want for their own egos, or for their own personal gain, without actually liking you. You've discovered that the things you thought they SHOULD want are not things they actually NEED to feel things for you. And, you're starting to understand just how ruthless and unapologetic they can be towards men. It's similar to how Neo probably felt when he first learned about the Matrix - everything in life you thought you knew about women is being proven NOT to be as true as you once thought it was.

Believe it or not, though, this is actually a GOOD thing.

The ADVANTAGE of actually knowing all this knowledge is this: before, you would get all nervous around women because a part of you viewed them as perfect, and thus not able to match up to them because on some level you viewed them as superior. However, by having a realistic version of how they can REALLY be (rude, mean at times, suspect to falling for stupid tactics), it allows your mind to have a more controlled response when first meeting them.

I know for me, before I had this realization, my first thought when meeting a girl (including ones who were 5s or 6s at best) would be something like:

"Oh man, she's so pretty - she'd be the perfect girlfriend, everything she does is so stunning. I'll be she won't even talk to me 'cause she's got a bunch of dudes that are hotter than me trying to chase after her."

After learning how women REALLY are, and what they REALLY go for, my thoughts changed to where I could meet a model chick, and I'd be thinking:

"Oh boy, she's hot - but what else does she have going on? If she's single, it means some dude probably dumped her for some reason I don't know about. I'll bet she probably farts too much or something. Well, chances are if she's that hot she's probably insecure about herself in someway, and I'll bet NONE of the dudes that want her are actually chasing her. Alright, let me go find out about this babe - I'll use communication tactic #3 to get her talking to me, get her number, then bounce."

See what I did there? I used a negative character trait I've learned about women (that they fart, are insecure, and will easily fall for a random tactic) to bring her down to a human level, thus making any nervousness I have about approaching her go away. Knowing these things isn't a BAD thing - if any thing, it's something that should help remove the lens of "perfectness" typically attached to women by insecure men, so you can approach them knowing they are just as imperfect as you.

 

[Lozboss]

Thanks Harry that helps.

But how do I let go of the bitterness toward my ex for using me? I'm
Not a person who hates but honestly I couldn't hate anyone more right now.

The reality change I see has removed any anxiety I have and I know that if someone does t like me for me I have the mental power to walk away.

I just struggle with not viewing women negatively know as all sh*t testers and game players. Will that come in time or is that change something that happens when a woman you meet proves this negative view wrong?

 

[guru1000]

Remember: A person, man or woman, with a healthy mind and soul will never wrong you. Do you abhor crazy people? Accordingly, don't let the contrivances of most women make you bitter--like them.

I love women. I feel sorry (not compassion) for most of them, but, nonetheless, enjoy their company while it lasts.

 

[Stugots26]

Recently we've been discussing on this forum how important it is to be willing to walk away from a woman. Part of summoning up the will power and "test1cular fortitude" to walk away is by understanding the true nature of women.

You can accept that women are the way they are and enjoy them - the hot ones anyway - for their beauty. But to really be a DJ, you need to enjoy and seduce them as a realist, having removed them from the pedestal and in the context of their true natures.

The bitterness and resentment that you feel comes from wanting reality to be other than it is, or attempting to unsuccessfully control things that are really out of your control. Women are the way that they are. They are products of their nature and the flawed upbringings that has taught them that they can have equal rights and privileges to men without ANY of the accountability.

Accept reality and you'll see that the hate and bitterness falls away. Accept that all you can really do is show up, do your part, conduct yourself in a charming, non-needy, controlled, detached, drama-free way, accept and make no excuses for women, be willing to walk away, and focus on yourself and what you want. Accept that you are not responsible for saving them from themselves, their unreasonable fears, delusions, expectations, or assumptions, outrageous entitlement issues, inabilities to communicate effectively, passive-aggression, or conflations of reality and fantasy. Accept that their actions will always belie their words and their interest levels CUT THROUGH EVERYTHING. Accept that their attraction to you is not their choice, or yours.

Just be the best that you can be, and everything else will be cream cheese.

 

[JohnChops]

Lol we have all been there brotha.

 

[logicallefty]

Lol we have all been there brotha.

+1 lefty right here :yes:

OP, the hardest part of all about this is the numbers. Your thinking is so OFF, so ABNORMAL, so against all we have been taught to do and all that society pushes us to do... All this media. All these women.. All these white knights and beta chumps.. Your thinking is against the thinking of so many people. Nearly everyone, and everything........


BUT IT'S RIGHT, SO STAY WITH IT..

Don't allow yourself to slip back. That is where this site truely has some of it's top value for me, personally.. I am a pretty seasoned veteran in most of our teachings here now.. But this site gives me therapy and KEEPS me where I need to be. Without SS for long periods of time, I found myself starting to slip back the wrong direction... Here! here!, SoSuave, here! here! :rockon:

 

[G_Govan]

I just struggle with not viewing women negatively know as all sh*t testers and game players. Will that come in time or is that change something that happens when a woman you meet proves this negative view wrong?

You shouldn't view them negatively, but "realistically."

Get those fantasies out of your head. All women who engage you want something from you, but are they willing to pay you (sex) what you're worth on your terms?

If not, leave. Don't argue, don't try to negotiate, just leave. True loss is the only thing they understand even though for some it may take a while to kick in.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

But how do I let go of the bitterness toward my ex for using me? I'm Not a person who hates but honestly I couldn't hate anyone more right now.

The reality change I see has removed any anxiety I have and I know that if someone does t like me for me I have the mental power to walk away.

I just struggle with not viewing women negatively know as all sh*t testers and game players. Will that come in time or is that change something that happens when a woman you meet proves this negative view wrong?

The first step towards removing the bitterness - and this isn't always an easy thing to do - is to see what things YOU could have been more observant of.

There's a truth that's said for both sexes as it pertains to the other sex, which is "____ don't lie, ____ don't listen" (in this case, the first blank would be 'women' and the second would be 'men.') What that means is, is that people tell you and/or show you who they really are, usually from the first time you meet them. What usually happens, though, is a guy will meet a girl, and he's so hopeful from day one that she's everything he's making her out to be, that he forgets to listen and/or look for red flags in the beginning. This could boil down to simple things like listening to her tell a story about an ex and not catching the part where she says "Oh, I tried borrowing money from him once without him looking and he got all mad" (i.e. she steals), or her talking about various fights she's gotten into with others (i.e. bad temper and rude).

The second step is to see if what has caused you to become bitter is the result of something SHE did, or something you may have taken personally. I had a crush on a girl who was giving me all the signals that she liked me, but as soon as I told her I did she started backing off from being around me. I tried to get her a Christmas gift later that month, and she didn't even say thank you for it! At the time I was mad because SHE wasn't treating me with respect, but I later had to realize that by pursuing her when she wasn't feeling me, I was actually the one being rude by not respecting her wishes.

The third step is that you have to recognize that YOU are in control of how you react to situations. Regardless of what this girl's actions were, YOU have the power to decide how those actions affect you. Perfect example: I met a girl online, we connected, and started hooking up. After a few months of this, we were in bed one night and she was on her phone. She went to the bathroom and left her phone on the bed, and it lit up. When I glanced at the phone (I'm not a guy that goes through phones, but if it lights up and I'm in the area, it's perfectly fine to look), and I see that she got a message from another guy she was talking to on the dating site I met her on.

Could I have been mad about it and thrown a fit? Absolutely! But instead, the reaction in my head was simply: "Oh - well, we're not technically BF/GF, but if she's talking to other dudes that's cool - I'll just stop seeing her." And that was it - I left her place and stopped seeing her. More importantly, though, I didn't take her actions personally. People are going to do the things they want to do for the betterment of themselves, and some times that will mean doing things that you might not like. BUT, if you let those actions control you and your emotions, then SHE is the one in control - which is not good, especially if she's not even around you anymore! Think about it - you're letting HER actions allow you to feel bitterness, and she's not even thinking about what you're going through at this point, so why even put attention on it?

The fourth thing... geez, y'know what? I offer dating coaching at the link in my signature. I could easily type about 6 more things to recognize, and help you better understand some of these things 1-on-1.

So, for now I'll end with this: You can't let the actions of this ONE girl affect how you view other girls. I went through some horrible, HORRIBLE dating experiences in my past, and now I'm with a girl that the nicest, sweetest, most loving person, who does nice things for me simply because she wants to see me happy. And you can have that as well, but only if you block out the noise in your head about how awful women are, and instead replace it with the thought that good women ARE out there - it just takes some time to find them.

Hope this helps!

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

You shouldn't view them negatively, but "realistically."

Get those fantasies out of your head. All women who engage you want something from you, but are they willing to pay you (sex) what you're worth on your terms?

If not, leave. Don't argue, don't try to negotiate, just leave. True loss is the only thing they understand even though for some it may take a while to kick in.

x2.

The thing is, think about how many real friends you can rely on. That's about the same number as that of the number of women who you will genuinely connect with in your life and be able to really trust. There are more with age, because we become better at recognising decent people and dodgy traits alike earlier on and can filter. Filter, filter, filter. Don't waste time with losers. Law of Power No. 10 - Avoid the unhappy and the unlucky.

Please don't think you won't backslide. You might end up at square one. But each time it gets easier. And you learn a little more, until you get to a point of enlightenment where you are in the driving seat with all of your relations.

As Govan said, the only thing that really makes a difference is to walk away from disrespect and really mean it. The bitterness and depression returns in waves and regrets always creep back, but these are outweighed by the feeling of being your own man and not putting up with people's sh!t anymore.

 

[Top Of The Game]

Finally broke up with the ex 7 weeks ago after finally deciding that it was time to be a man and put my happiness first.

Since then I've swallowed the red pill, read and digested numerous sources that have opened my eyes to my past and both talked and advised others who are going through similar issues.

Since then I've struggled. With what?

With Bitterness, with a Negative view on women as a collective.

I'm not the type of person to be Jaded or bitter,

Well sorry to tell you this sparky, but after reading your post you are now the proud owner of a jaded point of view.

When your jaded that means your mind is twisted. Hopefully not so far gone that you can't be helped or fixed.

Before my LTR I had always been happy, content and 'don't give a sh*t'.

NOTICE you said BEFORE. Now look at you. Not even the same person anymore are you.

However, As I've truly come to understand women more I've found that I can't help but feel a bitterness and have a disrespectful view of them.

This always amazes me when I see men write this. You really believe you understand women. With a broken mind. No you understand a broken perception due to being jaded now.

Eg. I identify and pass sh*t tests, I can disarm b*tch shield but each time I do I can't help but feel negativity toward these women.

**** tests are women's way of weeding out weak males. A natural thing that should happen less she breed with a weak man. No I'm not a fem nut either.

I just truly understand the nature of the game and have learn to accept it and make it work for me.

Weak men hate **** tests because they don't understand the why's of them. Once you learn why she must do that then you can learn to make them work to your benefit.

I feel it's affecting me, I want to get back to being happy but also being aware (this is not a 'lets go back to blue pill topic).

I hate this community has basterdized the original red pill blue pill concept from taking the red pill to understand the truth of dating to this new hate females point of gay ass view.

 

[Poon King]

The bitterness WILL pass.. mark my words. BUT only when you come to the realization that women and happiness are NOT related.

Again: Women and happiness are NOT related.

As long as you consider WOMEN to be the answer to your misery.. you will stay miserable. Women exist for sexual pleasure, entertainment and reproduction. Happiness comes from living a rich and interesting life.. accomplishing goals and rising up in the world. It comes from being the BEST man you can be and being able to look back on your life as an old man and say: "Yeah.. I kicked ass".

Life is NOT about looking back as an old man and saying: "Yeah, I settled down with a nagging b!tch and had some kids." I almost fell asleep writing that last sentence. :crackup:

So you need to view women more as a hobby or sport and less as a "be all end all" goal for living a full life.

Wake up men.

 

[El Payaso]

Nobody said the red pill was a sweet pill to swallow.

 

[Lozboss]

Thank you all for your advice,

It's very much appreciated. This is the reason I joined SS and thanks again for helping me process/understand the transition of mindset.

 

[Firestar786]

Women exist for sexual pleasure, entertainment and reproduction.

:rockon: