Birthday text from LJBF girl a few months back

[dk1990S111]

Got this message from a girl I was seeing a few months ago. Posted about her before, things were going good and then one night she said “the attraction was still there but she has too much going on in her life so we should just be friends”

Didn’t really talk to her much after that, she paid me to work on her car a few weeks later but after that pretty much just NC. So the other day I get this text “Hey Dk! I saw a FB notification, so I wanted to personally wish you a happy birthday! I hope you were able to celebrate at least a little bit today, even though it’s a Sunday lol”

Thanked her and said I hope she’s doing good. Then she says she’s actually staying out of town to get away from some drama here lol so at this point I’m definitely thinking I met her when she was freshly broken up with a bf here and the friends thing was them trying again. Now she’s right back to fighting with him and seeing if I’m still around for her.

Just a guess

 

[RickTheToad]

What's your question dude?

 

[dk1990S111]

What's your question dude?

Lol wasn’t really posting as a question, just funny situation to me when they try to check in like that when things don’t work out for them

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Should have left it at "Let me know of you want to catch up sometime"

 

[dk1990S111]

Should have left it at "Let me know of you want to catch up sometime"

Would like that but after the LJBF talk didn’t feel like putting that out there. If she wants to catch up she has my number

 

[Speculator E]

Would like that but after the LJBF talk didn’t feel like putting that out there. If she wants to catch up she has my number

It's up to you if you want to meet her. She already initiated. She's not going to do it again. That will make them look desperate.
If you want it, you have to respond.

 

[Robert28]

This is just me but I never give second chances to any girl that LJBF’s me. One chance, per woman, per lifetime. She chose to use her one chance with you and friend zone you. That’s her problem not yours. You’re a better man than me though, I wouldn’t have responded at all.

 

[KindredSpiritzz]

What's your question dude?

Why does there always have to be a question? Discuss meeting, dating, and attracting women with others. Ask a question or give advice. Sometimes you just want to put a tid bit or something on your mind out there for discussion without having a question per say.

 

[Toddz]

This is just me but I never give second chances to any girl that LJBF’s me. One chance, per woman, per lifetime. She chose to use her one chance with you and friend zone you. That’s her problem not yours. You’re a better man than me though, I wouldn’t have responded at all.

Spot on.

I would've just replied with one word "thanks". That would've maintained your frame and you still hold the power. By writing "Hope you are doing good" you gave both right back to her.

 

[KindredSpiritzz]

I would've just replied with one word "thanks". That would've maintained your frame and you still hold the power. By writing "Hope you are doing good" you gave both right back to her.

Well whats the end game here then? To me its getting laid so he left the door cracked open to that possibility and left open the chance for her to pursue if she wanted. By saying nothing sure he maintains the "power" but he aint getting laid with that attitude. I'd make her do most of the work if she wanted something more but i wouldnt close the door entirely, specially if shes hot. Doesnt hurt to respond in a friendly manner at least.

 

[Toddz]

Well whats the end game here then? To me its getting laid so he left the door cracked open to that possibility and left open the chance for her to pursue if she wanted. By saying nothing sure he maintains the "power" but he aint getting laid with that attitude. I'd make her do most of the work if she wanted something more but i wouldnt close the door entirely, specially if shes hot. Doesnt hurt to respond in a friendly manner at least.

From his stand point, maintaining dignity and self respect.

And by replying "thanks" you are being friendly. It also allows him to gauge her interest if she continues the conversation beyond that.

 

[Robert28]

Well whats the end game here then? To me its getting laid so he left the door cracked open to that possibility and left open the chance for her to pursue if she wanted. By saying nothing sure he maintains the "power" but he aint getting laid with that attitude. I'd make her do most of the work if she wanted something more but i wouldnt close the door entirely, specially if shes hot. Doesnt hurt to respond in a friendly manner at least.

Speaking from past experience I can tell you that leaving that “crack in the door” for possibly getting laid is a very slim to none chance. And slim just walked out the door. You have to understand when to cut your losses and flat out give up on a girl, no leaving cracks in doors, just realize “this is never going to happen”. When a girl LJBF’s you, you have a higher chance of getting struck by lightning twice on the way to cash your million dollar winning lottery ticket. I’m sure there are instances a girl has LJBF a guy and later on somehow ended up sleeping with the guy but they are so few and far between that is it really worth the effort? It’s not to me.

 

[Speculator E]

This is just me but I never give second chances to any girl that LJBF’s me. One chance, per woman, per lifetime. She chose to use her one chance with you and friend zone you. That’s her problem not yours. You’re a better man than me though, I wouldn’t have responded at all.

He doesn't have to get back together but maybe he might like to tap it one more time. You don't give 2nd chances, even if it just for sex?

 

[Speculator E]

From his stand point, maintaining dignity and self respect.

And by replying "thanks" you are being friendly. It also allows him to gauge her interest if she continues the conversation beyond that.

That's ridiculous and some girls can interpret that as an instant rejection.

 

[Robert28]

He doesn't have to get back together but maybe he might like to tap it one more time. You don't give 2nd chances, even if it just for sex?

99% of the time when a woman LJBF’s you that means she’s no longer attracted to you, never really was attracted to you, or was for a short while but lost it somehow and you’ll never make her attracted to you again. You can jump through hoops and waste a lot of time HOPING to get sex from a woman that LJBF you and is going to either reject you again or you’re going to end up working doubly hard. This is experience talking, when a woman mentions friends you need to stop all hope of every being anything to her but a friend in the future. If being friends with women really worked, there’d be this revolution going on where guys and gals were friends worldwide.

my point is you can waste a lot of time with a girl that friend zoned you, or you can put all that effort into one that hasn’t friend zoned you. I know which one my effort and time will go into.

 

[Speculator E]

99% of the time when a woman LJBF’s you that means she’s no longer attracted to you, never really was attracted to you, or was for a short while but lost it somehow and you’ll never make her attracted to you again. You can jump through hoops and waste a lot of time HOPING to get sex from a woman that LJBF you and is going to either reject you again or you’re going to end up working doubly hard. This is experience talking, when a woman mentions friends you need to stop all hope of every being anything to her but a friend in the future. If being friends with women really worked, there’d be this revolution going on where guys and gals were friends worldwide.

my point is you can waste a lot of time with a girl that friend zoned you, or you can put all that effort into one that hasn’t friend zoned you. I know which one my effort and time will go into.

Oh I see. I didn't see the part where the OP mentioned he was LJBF'ed. He wasn't very cleared.
But re-read it and yeah you're right it does sound like she may be reaching out only because things are rocky with her bf.
It's up the OP to know what to do.

 

[Robert28]

Theres a reason. Hes chaotic, you are "friendly" and easy.
Women love chaos. Do anything but bore them.

Women date and marry chaos, they’re friends with those that aren’t.

 

[dk1990S111]

Exactly. If she knows you will treat her poorly at the sake of your own self respect when She's not giving you that respect. That's when she trusts you.

Who knows, they do also have way more history than I have with her so could be why. Have no idea what really happened, don’t even really know if she has a bf just a guess based on what has gone on with her

 

[2Rocky]

To be clear....Did OP ever have Sex with LJBF girl?

If so, then she is welcome to re enter his consciousness. If not and she doesn't give any indication of stopping by around bedtime, then Thank you kindly and move on...

howdoes she indicates interest? by asking about his personal life situation in the vein of "Are you still available?" a HBD greeting is simply a good opener.

 

[Mazer]

If you do decide to invite this chick out again, it better be to your house for banging. Nothing more. “Hey Suzy, I have a lot going on this week, come over on Thursday, bring some drinks and we can catch up.” I would escalate within the first hour and if she isn’t receptive then kick her out and never contact her again.