Biggest turnoffs from her on 1st dates? (2021)

[Realthangpoon]

Know and have a good alcohol selection including knowing how to mix good girly fruity drinks
Keep your place clean and clutter free.
Keep your place smelling nice
Have good music playing
Have good lighting(mood and ambient)
Have some cool pictures, paintings, stuff on shelves and such to talk about

I’ve got everything down except the ****tails, gonna make some together. And then bang her brains out. Thanks man

 

[PRW63]

Just a technical point I'd like to throw out there is no girl is a plate unless you've had sex with them and you don't currently view them as anything serious or a LTR material(yet).

I'd modify that a bit. There are still humans left on the planet who wait till marriage for sex. It is rare,...certainly rare in the USA. But it is out there. So, sex isn't required. All it is,...is just dating non-exclusively,...casual dating,...that is all it is. Nothing special about it. I avoid the "plate" analogy because I think it is a lousy analogy. The guy who coined the term a couple decades ago was describing dating multiple women non-exclusively, that is all he was doing. What happens on the date is subject to the local culture and the participants own personal moral boundaries.

 

[2Rocky]

My date For the Screw Your Roommate Dance ( roommates set each other up) asked one of the other guys out around the fire for a dip of his Copenhagen.

One of the other guys in the house later wrote a song called "Chew Spitten' Mama" from the experience.

 

[Realthangpoon]

I’ve got everything down except the ****tails, gonna make some together. And then bang her brains out. Thanks man

this chick was pure p0rn. We banged 3x and I’ve almost never gotten a BJ like yesterday. just broke up with my gf last week and this was exactly what I needed, a good rebound. Today’s a good day.

 

[SirBigBell]

Biggest turn off is when they keep bringing up their ex during the date, I don't Understand why they do this.

Its usually done to either fish for sympathy (my ex was a horrible bastard), or to raise her own value and make you feel like you’ve caught a big fish (my ex drove a Ferrari)

 

[Georgepithyou]

Its usually done to either fish for sympathy (my ex was a horrible bastard), or to raise her own value and make you feel like you’ve caught a big fish (my ex drove a Ferrari)

If i had a dollar for every girl that happened to have a "cheating ex" i would be rich now. Idk if they all operate on some hivemind or dated the same guy.

 

[PRW63]

I’m having a first date tomorrow, she’s coming to my place. Everything’s closed because of covid and the weather’s gonna be ****. Normally wouldn’t do this straight at my place to have an exit plan but I can’t bother to travel through the rain.

any tips on how to spice things up? Pretty sure we’re gonna bang but I don’t wanna just put on a movie. Also, told her we’d eat together. Maybe food was a mistake though.

great thread btw.

Just keep the place clean and tidy so you don't look like a slob. Anything else just makes it look like you are copying some cheezy movie.

Have dinner, watch a movie,...or both at the same time.

If you "think you are gonna bang" then you are already in an outcome based mentality, and maybe to a certain extent you are already putting yourself in her frame, and that may cause problems. Maybe she will want to, maybe she won't (it is a 1st date so chances are lower). Maybe you'll say or do something that turns her off, or maybe you won't. Women have one week a month that they really want to, they have one week a month they don't want you near them,...the rest of the time they can take it or leave it (see Rollo Tomassi's analysis on Micro Hypergamy as it relates to the woman's monthly cycle).

So clean the place up, have dinner, watch a movie,...whatever happens after that is just whatever happens.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

Remember, females are taught that they're the prize; so many of them act like they're doing you a favor by meeting up with you. You should had just got up and left. I've done that after a drink and I didn't care for the b!tch's attitude.

Exactly.
I would leave without hesitation if someone is late: if it a meeting/business or a date female or dude - it doesn't matter.
If people don't respect my time then they are not worthy of it.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

Gentlemen, what was your biggest turnoffs that forced you to cut the date short?

This has not happened to me but a buddy.
He was with this chick and while they were kissing/making out when she suddenly puked...

Go figure.

Turns out that she had eaten something bad before meeting up with him and suddenly she shared her dinner with him directly lmfao.
No need to say that he never wanted to meet her again...

Nasty shiete...

 

[manfrombelow]

Exactly.
I would leave without hesitation if someone is late: if it a meeting/business or a date female or dude - it doesn't matter.
If people don't respect my time then they are not worthy of it.

My rule is never wait over 20min unless she had announced earlier that she's going to be late in how many minutes with a reason why.

I actually left a date venue just 5min before the chick showed up because she had been late for 30min without a text.

The speed a woman shows up says a lot about her Interest Level in you. If she has high IL she'd never make you wait. If she makes you wait, it means she's not into you that much.

If she knew her date was Chris Hemsworth, do you honestly think she's gonna be late? Come on, she would come one day early. Even weeks.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

My rule is never wait over 20min

20 minutes is way too much mate imo.
If a good friend/family 10 minutes and strangers less than 5 minutes.

 

[Realthangpoon]

Just keep the place clean and tidy so you don't look like a slob. Anything else just makes it look like you are copying some cheezy movie.

Have dinner, watch a movie,...or both at the same time.

If you "think you are gonna bang" then you are already in an outcome based mentality, and maybe to a certain extent you are already putting yourself in her frame, and that may cause problems. Maybe she will want to, maybe she won't (it is a 1st date so chances are lower). Maybe you'll say or do something that turns her off, or maybe you won't. Women have one week a month that they really want to, they have one week a month they don't want you near them,...the rest of the time they can take it or leave it (see Rollo Tomassi's analysis on Micro Hypergamy as it relates to the woman's monthly cycle).

So clean the place up, have dinner, watch a movie,...whatever happens after that is just whatever happens.

Thanks for the input. You’re right about the outcome based mentality, I was actually nervous before the date because of that. I’m not usually like that tough but I knew I had a good chance of banging because we were set up through social circle and I heard she was very dtf. Usually I just focus on enjoying myself.

 

[PRW63]

I heard she was very dtf.

Maybe, maybe not. It can change from minute to minute. If you look at them as walking sex toys you'll get disappointed. This is just for informational purposes,...not saying you are one,... Maybe it is my dark cynical evil experience on Reddit, but a lot of RP leaning guys are often just Black Pill guys (often with dark triad characteristics - psychopathic, sociopathic, narcissistic) claiming to be RP and they just see the women through "cold eyes" as just walking sex toys with a pulse. Then they complain all the time that the toy just doesn't function as they expect. They take the toy back to the store, throw it on the floor, complain some more, then "next", grab another one. The cycle keeps repeating. They might get a high notch count because they either have the seduction skills or they pick easy & broken women,...but they can't accomplish anything that lasts beyond that.

Usually I just focus on enjoying myself.

That is the best bet. Keep centered, keep your "frame", be the man with the plan, be masculine,...but just enjoy your time and make sure she enjoys her time with you, and the rest will work itself out.

 

[Realthangpoon]

Maybe, maybe not. It can change from minute to minute. If you look at them as walking sex toys you'll get disappointed. This is just for informational purposes,...not saying you are one,... Maybe it is my dark cynical evil experience on Reddit, but a lot of RP leaning guys are often just Black Pill guys (often with dark triad characteristics - psychopathic, sociopathic, narcissistic) claiming to be RP and they just see the women through "cold eyes" as just walking sex toys with a pulse. Then they complain all the time that the toy just doesn't function as they expect. They take the toy back to the store, throw it on the floor, complain some more, then "next", grab another one. The cycle keeps repeating. They might get a high notch count because they either have the seduction skills or they pick easy & broken women,...but they can't accomplish anything that lasts beyond that.


That is the best bet. Keep centered, keep your "frame", be the man with the plan, be masculine,...but just enjoy your time and make sure she enjoys her time with you, and the rest will work itself out.

Great input. Sometimes it’s a fine line between being dominant/masculine and not viewing women as a sex object. Not watching p0rn has done the trick for me (I’ve watched maybe 3x in 2 years).

The key for me personally is also having fun, being masculine while keeping female nature in the back of my mind. It’s easy to become bitter towards women, it’s harder to really try and understand them (and thus treating them as the beautiful creatures they are).

I personally value deep connections with other people. I’m just picky and it takes me a while to get there. Just gotta find the right woman.

 

[bat soup]

Happened just now.

Plate showed up saying her mouth is hot because she just now had spicy chips. => WTF? You're supposed to have rinsed your fvcking mouth with Listerine and chewed mint gums on your 1st date, not "spicy chips".

This is where I should have cancelled the date on the spot, but on a bad day, I didn't do it, and here comes my final demise:

When we were close enough in the cinema, and the vibe was right, I was going to French kiss her when I realized she had stinky breath.

And then I excused myself and got the fvck out of there around 10min into the movie.

So yeah, I feel like a fool to have paid for the tickets, popcorn, and soda in exchange for a stinky disgusting breath that made me want to vomit.

Gentlemen, what was your biggest turnoffs that forced you to cut the date short?

Cream actually is good for neutralising a spicy mouth. Remember that for next time.

 

[TheKid]

Combative women who think everything is an argument or debate to win. They always take the opposing side to yours, just to show you how wrong you are.

 

[Mister_Skinny_Jeanz]

BEING LATE. Out of the 15+ first dates I have gone on since my divorce only TWO women have managed to show up on time. The rest have ranged from 5 min to 45 min late with a number of reasons why.

I always say to myself: "You have a job, right? So you can make it to your work on time, right? So, it's not that you couldn't make it to this date on time... you just didn't care enough about other's time."

I think women in general have poor punctuality and are either clueless or just straight selfish about other's schedules when it comes to arriving in a timely manner. I have just come to terms with this because, anecdotally, more women tend to be late than early/on time.

tell me them ho's the late one buys drinks, they show up late.. they buying you a drink.

 

[sch]

1. "I don't drink wine cheaper than $100 for a bottle"

2. "I used to sleep around a lot but I want to be a good girl with you"

3. Being late

 

[lost_blackbird]

Phone use during a date is an instant turn off for me.

Day to day yes, like most people I often look at my phone mainly since don't like to
wear a watch on days when I'm working. I'll wear one on my days off though whether
dressed up or down. I'd certainly wear a watch on a date. My phone would stay in my
pocket unless I needed to use it to use it, for example to find a nearby restaurant
or to search for a nice bar to change location to. If her phone is on the table and not
in her bag then I know it's already a pretty much lost cause. She won't last 5 minutes
before she'll find a reason to pick the fvcker up, date or no date.

 

[Atom Smasher]

The huge advantage of age:
You can spot all these issues literally immediately on a level that you younger guys would consider supernatural. I probably have a particularly high level of a knack for this, but I’m sure most of the other older guys here would agree that they can tell way more about a woman almost instantly, compared to in their youth when it took a long time for these faults to become apparent.

I’m getting married this month, and have zero concerns or trepidation about it. When I first met her on OLD, her picture alone spoke volumes to me. Then upon writing for several weeks, more was revealed. Then we met, and my instincts were confirmed.

As a man gets into his 50s and 60s, he usually can spot these problem issues instinctively, and that saves a tremendous amount of time, effort and expense. There are some very nice perks indeed to maturity!

It seems this can’t be taught. Only experience and fine-tuning of perception brings this sorcery about.

Hopefully this is encouraging to some, especially those men who are starting to advance in years. The result of this instinct is that you become super-selective, just as every man should be. I’m convinced that most of the younger ones simply can’t yet. But time will refine.

You will only be interested in the upper 3% IF you hone yourself into the best “you” possible. Not perfect, just the best you can be. Otherwise, you’re nothing more than a piece of furniture to walk around to these women.

The problem is that these women seem unattainable to most, because men sense that they are a non-entity to these women.

How do you get on the radar of decent, desirable women? How do you attract them? Simple. You present yourself with self-respect, and you give off the air that you’re superior to them. Every single decent woman (remember, we’re talking about the upper 3% here), desires a man who is superior to them and who puts them in their place and requires good behavior from them.

Every decent woman wants to be judged by you and wants to earn your approval.

One of the biggest problems men have today is that they automatically telegraph that they are “all-in” to women right off the bat. The approach telegraphs that weakness to them, which they find repulsive. If I were to articulate the one most prominent thing that turned me from undesirable to desirable, it would be the art of judging women and putting them in their place. They crave this, guys.

As usual, I’m off on tangents but perhaps some of this will resonate with somebody. I started this out just to talk about how aging and maturity enables one to detect these warning signs early, even instantaneously. Just a little pep talk to the troops, especially meaningful to guys approaching their forties and beyond.