Biggest Mistakes You've Made

[Audiophile]

What are some of the biggest mistakes you guys have made pertaining to life/women that we can all learn from?

I'll start:
-Cheating on a girlfriend. Really fvcks with you, makes you not able to trust people as much and has you always questioning the loyalty of your exclusive girl.
-Not studying enough my first year of college , I've now learned of the importance of my education and have figured out my priorities, learning how to balance my personal life and a social life is important.
-Not approaching just because I held myself back, I still make this mistake all of the time, there is simply no reason not to approach other than me being a pvssy and making some bs reason not to.

What about you guys?

 

[bigneil]

Hindsight is 20/20. Looking back on my previous relationship that failed I realize there were many mistakes I made over 5+ months together:

1) Not screening her out to begin with. She told me she normally dated younger guys based on their being "hot" and that she had normally been mean to her boyfriends but was trying harder now.

2) Bringing her flowers to her work. I didn't check my text messages one night and she had texted 7 times and was freaking out that I didn't reply. Given that we had slept together the two previous nights (our first in the same bed) I tried to make amends the next morning but it was a bad idea.

3) Contacting her every day. She would always freak out if I didn't reply to her text but I wish I just let her worry more and took a few days off.

4) Trying to talk about why she didn't want to have sex. I should have just tried to physically seduce her without talking about it. We eventually did it but not before the relationship was damaged by my lack of confidence. You can't convince them to feel attraction.

5) Arguing with her and yelling at her in the bedroom. She deserved it and was an A-hole, but you don't want them to associate the bedroom with anything negative.

6) Acting jealous. She kept talking about her ex for 3 months and still had his pictures on her FB but none of me. I was never jealous until that point, but after 3 months I just snapped and said "what are you doing with me if you still like him better?"

7) Telling her she wasn't attracted to me. Her answer was "why don't you make me chase you" and "get some game". In other words, it had nothing to do with physical attraction (which was incredibly strong early on).

8) Letting my emotions show. She was especially cold one day and I couldn't hide my disappointment and she said "So are you going to cry now?" Lowest point of my dating life.

9) Not having other plates spinning. She could see nobody else was texting me when we were together.

10) Not dumping her sooner. The relationship faded away and I kept hanging on until the attraction was so low that my leaving her didn't phase her at all.

 

[BlackMack177]

^^^

damn bro, that's harsh

I'd like to say that not all of that was you though. The chick was a b1tch from the start. But you made a huge mistake by ignoring the red flags and getting into a relationship with her when she wasn't GF material

but you live and learn. You last relationship sounds almost like mine. I made so many AFC mistakes it wasn't even funny

I cried when she left me

I asked for the relationship

I argued with her for dumb reasons when I should've just ignored her

I was too quiet about my point of view. I should've kept it real

I could go on all day. But these experiences only make us stronger. I'd like to say that i'd never make those mistakes again. Though me and her remain best friends( we still fvck), I'm still using that as a learning point in all my future relationships, whether it be with her or with another chick

 

[Warrior74]

I've pretty much made them all. You name it. The only one I didn't make was getting married.

 

[49au]

1) Not screening her out to begin with. She told me she normally dated younger guys based on their being "hot" and that she had normally been mean to her boyfriends but was trying harder now.

...

4) Trying to talk about why she didn't want to have sex. I should have just tried to physically seduce her without talking about it. We eventually did it but not before the relationship was damaged by my lack of confidence. You can't convince them to feel attraction.

Pure gold.

 

[RSanders219]

1.) Getting drunk and getting emotional - I was supposed to hang with the girl I was talking to one night, she was being a little bit cold during the past week.. But it didn't phase me because I was so busy with school work. Then she stood me up that night and said she couldn't hang over a BS excuse that I don't even remember.

Later that night I decided to get drunk and I wound up texting her saying sh1t like "Hey listen, I'm not the kind of guy that you just call up when you feel like it ok? If you're gonna treat me like that you can get lost". Then she called me an ******* blah blah... So I called her 5 minutes later and left a pathetic apology on her voicemail. (WORST THING TO EVER DO! NEVER DO IT!)

2.) Talking down on myself to the girl - There is nothing wrong with being humble about things. Such as a talent or achievement you have made. But NEVER EVER talk down on yourself or have a negative view of yourself. Especially in front of the girl. She will show you less respect because you have no respect for yourself. You'll probably wind up in the LJBF category.

 

[XMinister]

Not so long ago......

Just like Bigneil, I was in a similar situation.

MISTAKE #1: Fight fire with fire

MISTAKE #2: Spin plates too soon

MISTAKE #3: Being too pessimistic
M
We started out as FB, but then she was all over me, texting me every day, getting pissed when I didn't respond, asking me if I was seeing anyone else. It was a big turn off and a headache. So I kept ignoring her and she kept beasting with crazy texts of how she's going to kill herself, etc. So I decided to fight fire with fire. I wanted to purposely sabotage myself into looking super AFC and driving her away rather than risk a suicide. It seemed like a good idea, so I started texting her everyday, told her how much I loved her, told her I want to marry her one day, and lo and behold, it worked, after like a month, she was ignoring me and didn't want anything to do with me.

Unfortunately I didn't take emotions into consideration, I've grown attached somehow and I was very depressed that she was hitting the high road. So I began whining, arguing with her, crying and doing all sorts of gay shi't to get her back, but nothing. So she stopped responding for good after a week. We had a big trip planned so I went by her place, parked outside and waited for her. She came out and when I tried to talk to her she started calling me crazy, she started walking away from me and she didn't even want to hear me out, she called the cops on me and that was that. WORSE mistake of my life. Its been a month since the event and I'm still trying to get over it, but I haven't fully recovered so I'm still in a ****ty mindset. In the midst of trying to recover, I figured I'd spin some plates, even though I can only think about her.

So I ended up meeting this chick one night, we f'ed and she was all over me. Then three days later I text and she didn't respond until like a week later telling me she's busy and she'll want to see me again soon when she's finished with finals. So I waited a week, no response from her, sent her another text and she hasn't responded to that. That may not be too much of a big mistake, but I shouldn't have text her again after she said that. So it got me all depressed again because I keep feeling like she's never going to talk to me again. Even though its only been two weeks and chances are she really is busy, but I'm still relatively negative about shi't like this ever since the incident a month ago. It was the worst than that has happened to me yet and I haven't fully recovered.

I'll never take ANY advice from here for granted EVER again........Such horrible things happen when I do otherwise, hah.

 

[Furyguy]

Physically escalating too soon before she was ready for it.

Trying to force things to become sexual without letting it develop naturally on its own.

Both of these ****ed me over on my most recent prospect. I should have just been more patient and waited it out and it would have happened eventually. Instead I rushed in and blew a good thing. Dumb!

One more mistake I won't have to make next time I guess.



This one was huge and made me feel like ****:

Not realizing a girl was really, really into me because I had never even considered gaming her. Circumstances of the evening would have made it a terrible choice for me to run game on her at all that night, plus this girl was so, so far out of my league I wouldn't have even attempted gaming her anyways. Which turned out to be the best game I could have possibly run, ironically.

But I ****ed it all up by not even considering the possibility that she could be into me. This chick was mad flirty with me all night, and it made me think "there is no way she is actually interested in me, she is just acting like every other woman always does: desperate for male attention and trying to string foolish guys along simply to fuel her ego." I figured she was doing the same thing to every single guy in the place....

NOPE! She just so happened to really just be extremely attracted to me for some strange reason. But it was really just outside of my reality that this girl could have been attracted to me. I never even accepted it as possible. I just don't get women of that caliber. So I ignored her extremely obvious advances, which made her feel really sad, and went home alone feeling like sh*t.

Ah well. At least my game must have improved substantially for me to run it so smoothly without even thinking about it.