Biggest mistakes you made in a LTR?

[mjb3617]

Before moving in, make sure the place (house/apartment) is YOURS, or at least has the rent 100% PAID BY YOU.

If it's the woman's place, or she has her share (no matter 50% or 30% of whatever) in the rent money, then for some mysterious mechanism, she'd start looking down on you, losing respect for you gradually until she starts sucking other d!cks out there.

NEVER, EVER, move into a woman's place. Or better yet: DON'T MOVE IN AT ALL.

This is one of the lessons that I learned the hardest way possible.

I've never moved in with anyone I was dating but in the event I did, this would be the only way to do it.

I'm not losing the roof over my head for a woman.

 

[manfrombelow]

I've never moved in with anyone I was dating but in the event I did, this would be the only way to do it.

I'm not losing the roof over my head for a woman.

Because the moment you move into a woman's apartment/house, or a place that you share the rent with her, even if your share is higher than hers, then she'd automatically think and act and talk like the boss of the house, and there's no way you could turn it back.

 

[mjb3617]

Because the moment you move into a woman's apartment/house, or a place that you share the rent with her, even if your share is higher than hers, then she'd automatically think and act and talk like the boss of the house, and there's no way you could turn it back.

That's correct. I watched my cousin get into a relationship with a w**** who got bent over the bathroom sink by his best friend one night. He's married to her now and has a kid with her.

Was at his house (he owns it outright) recently and the vibe there was that she ran that place.

 

[Georgepithyou]

I took being "alpha" to the extreme, I never ever complimented her and was mean all the time. I basically treated her like crap always. I didn't realise you need push and pull not 100% negs all the time.

It's a miracle she tolerated someone as toxic as me for 8 months before finally leaving me. It was my first real long term relationship and i messed up badly.

 

[manfrombelow]

I took being "alpha" to the extreme, I never ever complimented her and was mean all the time. I basically treated her like crap always. I didn't realise you need push and pull not 100% negs all the time.

It's a miracle she tolerated someone as toxic as me for 8 months before finally leaving me. It was my first real long term relationship and i messed up badly.

I am sorry to hear this, brother. Thank you.

 

[xplt]

- Ignoring red flags
- Not putting myself first
- Tolerating too much disrespect
- Giving too much chances
- Moving in with her in her place
- Again, ignoring red flags
- And ignoring red flags

I'm glad I learned my lesson and that I knew I had to change. My life is much easier now although I'm still making mistakes with women here and there.

 

[manfrombelow]

- Ignoring red flags
- Not putting myself first
- Tolerating too much disrespect
- Giving too much chances
- Moving in with her in her place
- Again, ignoring red flags
- And ignoring red flags

I'm glad I learned my lesson and that I knew I had to change. My life is much easier now although I'm still making mistakes with women here and there.

Thank you brother, I'm only 2 years younger than you so having the chance to learn from people like you means a lot to me.

Isn't it funny that among the biggest "mistakes" we made was always about ignoring redflags and tolerating disrespect from women? The core reasons we did it was, in nearly all cases, out of love. We loved them, hence we pursuaded ourselves to ignore their redflags and tolerate disrespect from them - but at the same time, it's the reason they... stopped loving us. Isn't it irony?

 

[ThisIsSparta]

*Expecting that being a gentleman and "doing the right things" will be valued and respected
*Expecting that putting her needs first will be reciprocated by her putting my needs first too
*Listening to what she says, instead of watching what she does
*Letting her get away with disrespect and bullying to keep the "peace"

 

[manfrombelow]

*Expecting that being a gentleman and "doing the right things" will be valued and respected
*Expecting that putting her needs first will be reciprocated by her putting my needs first too
*Listening to what she says, instead of watching what she does
*Letting her get away with disrespect and bullying to keep the "peace"

I made 100% of every single one of these. Hits home too fvcking hard, bro.

 

[Barrister]

Becoming too complacent in how I felt about things to "get along." I let a lot of unacceptable behavior go at the beginning of the relationship. This got to be a bigger and bigger issue as the relationship went on to the point that the only solution was to completely break things off.

Set boundaries and stick to them. Exceptions should almost never be made.

 

[TheNewStyle123]

Asking her to marry me hahahha.

 

[TheNewStyle123]

*Expecting that being a gentleman and "doing the right things" will be valued and respected
*Expecting that putting her needs first will be reciprocated by her putting my needs first too
*Listening to what she says, instead of watching what she does
*Letting her get away with disrespect and bullying to keep the "peace"

YES. Tough lessons learned brother. I'm with you.

 

[metalwater]

*Expecting that being a gentleman and "doing the right things" will be valued and respected
*Expecting that putting her needs first will be reciprocated by her putting my needs first too
*Listening to what she says, instead of watching what she does
*Letting her get away with disrespect and bullying to keep the "peace"

the like it becuase I get it, not becaouse I LIKE it.

bottome line, women are greedy and like men that show greed. most men are greedy also so it works out.

women be like a nice shirt, keep it cleaned and pressed and don't let others wear it; it will stay a nice for a long time.

 

[manfrombelow]

For me it was failing to understand that the Game never stops when you enter an LTR. You have to keep the Game up and keep seducing her. LTR's are no protection from the male burden of performance.

Same, bro, same. Sometimes it's tiring knowing that we can never truly relax. It's tough being a real man.

 

[RBK]

Like Patrice O Neil says you have to Pimp your woman everyday. They are terrorists trying to take our manhood. Never stop gaming your woman.

Patrice has a great comedy bit on this with the boat analogy.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Because the moment you move into a woman's apartment/house, or a place that you share the rent with her, even if your share is higher than hers, then she'd automatically think and act and talk like the boss of the house, and there's no way you could turn it back.

They'll be the boss of the house even if you pay 100% of everything. Thats what our culture is setup for.