Big problem - social group and girl

[Glycerine2]

whats up guys. i've noticed lately my friends havent asked me to do ****. they're always in the group, and nobody ever asks me if I wanna come. i think it's because my friends "girl" is into me and it's a power issue with him. I don't know for sure, but I just get the feeling. It really pisses me off and I want to tell him to go **** himself, but if I do that... all my power is handed to him. I'm sure everyone knows what that feels like.. all your friends are hanging out together, but nobody ever calls you up. Very frustrating in a group I thought were my friends. I know even bringing it up is completely pointless. Rest assured everyone can bet their house his response is going to be "huh? What are you talking about?"

Any ideas, and has anyone been in the same situation?

 

[cyp6]

yea i have had this experince my self... like i use to really really respect this friend of mine.. and now that im starting to be a DJ. he tries to knock me down to the level i was before. beacuse i find him my equal now not my superior.. the thing i have done is to make lots and lots of new frineds and ignor my old frined for a while and treat him like aquntence.. utill he shows intrest and wants to do stuff. i say im busy doing things whith other frineds.. and make my social level higher than his.. so there is no way for him to knock me down..

any ways.. thas just what i try to do.. hope that helps..

 

[Glycerine2]

yeah what sucks though is I've known this guy for 20 years, since I was 3.

he can't stand the fact that whenever I'm around, the attentions not on him. I'm always the life of the party, etc. and the people we hang out with, he's known a lot longer, so they're closer with him. and I think he does this because he knows it irritates me. which makes me even more mad. there's nothing I can do though. bringing it up will make me look like an idiot.

 

[illmatic20]

actually no I have never been through this. The reason your suppose friends don't bother to invite you is because you ether annoying, no personality, and/or not fun to be around. If you make people have a good time around you then your golden. They will miss you when your gone.

 

[DJohnson]

I think anyone with a vibrant social life has seen that at one time or another. The fact is you really can't know why this is happening. If you consider these people real friends( meaning you would take them to your parents house, let them drive your car, stay at your house when you arent there, etc ) Then I would ask them what the hell is up.

The fact that you ask DJ forum, tells me these are your social circle people and not real friends. If this is the case, **** them. You have skills with women and people in general. Make new friends,and watch as they suddenly start calling you again.

I tell you, social circles are just like individual women. They get jealous if they see you living it up without them.

 

[Glycerine2]

illmatic, your theory is bull****. I know this because my bestfriend acts normal when he's just with me, he acts like the personality I've known for 20 years... but whenever we're with a group of people, he puts on this front, like they're his friends and not mine or something. Nothing he has ever said or done, I just know it. and again, the people we hang out with I haven't known nearly as long... so the person who would be inviting me would be him, because they all kind of follow what he does. and of course he doesn't invite me. lol, he always says to me "hey man, where ya been?" or "whats been up with you?" like I've been hiding in a ****ing cave or something. he knows exactly what's going on.

 

[illmatic20]

Originally posted by Glycerine2
illmatic, your theory is bull****. I know this because my bestfriend acts normal when he's just with me, he acts like the personality I've known for 20 years... but whenever we're with a group of people, he puts on this front, like they're his friends and not mine or something. Nothing he has ever said or done, I just know it. and again, the people we hang out with I haven't known nearly as long... so the person who would be inviting me would be him, because they all kind of follow what he does. and of course he doesn't invite me. lol, he always says to me "hey man, where ya been?" or "whats been up with you?" like I've been hiding in a ****ing cave or something. he knows exactly what's going on.

Dude, what kind of people do you associate yourself with?...You actually call someone a friend who disowns you when other people are around.

Also when your meeting this group have you even took time to get to know each one?...your friend might suffer from wanting approval of being around you.

 

[Arioch]

I hardly ever get called by people to do stuff. I'm not always sure why. Sometimes I think it's because the school I go to is full of socially awkward kids and no one really calls anyone, they just have a crew of close friends they do stuff all the time with that they live around and never have to call. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just not that entertaining for people to be like, "Wow, let's invite Arioch, he's a blast." Then again, maybe it's because I put myself "out there," always getting around to chat a little with like everyone I know every week, that people don't feel like they have to call me.

Really, I think it's because I'm not that much fun to have around, but I'm trying to change that. I think it's also because I usually meet people through random interactions like parties or just wandering around, which works for meeting women because women have looks, which (though it sounds shallow but it's true) is why I start talking to them (though the talking doesn't last long if that's all they have). Just meeting friends, though, you have to have something in common. There has to be something you have that they want or they have that you want, or else the interactions are superficial. I guess I haven't met many people who interest me as people I can be friends with.

 

[Glycerine2]

Don't get me wrong, I know them all pretty well, just that one friend for 20 years. I met them through him. And I really do consider him a friend, I just don't know why he does this. Always calls everyone else up, always talks to other people at a group outing, acts more arrogant (but not talking as much), etc. I'm getting pretty fed up with this BS.

 

[illmatic20]

Originally posted by Arioch
Then again, maybe it's because I put myself "out there," always getting around to chat a little with like everyone I know every week, that people don't feel like they have to call me.

Every thought on building up on that?...get contact numbers and call them saying what up?..and what you doing this weekend. You don't always have to be the one to get invited.

 

[Arioch]

I do that a lot, but sometimes I get depressed because I can't remember ever being invited. It's not like sometimes I have to be the one who calls people, it's like that all the time.

 

[illmatic20]

Originally posted by Arioch
I do that a lot, but sometimes I get depressed because I can't remember ever being invited. It's not like sometimes I have to be the one who calls people, it's like that all the time.

sorry to hear about that, but it easily fixable. Do you know how to make people laugh?...have a sense a humor? if not or are just decent. Invest your time in learning how to be funny. It the easiest way to fixing your problem.

 

[Arioch]

If I knew how, I would. Most places are just like, "Learn some jokes."

I've noticed the people I enjoy being around the most are just inherently funny, just in the way they tell things. They don't have to be talking about things that are that funny to be funny.

I wish there was a site like this, only about being funny instead of women. And another site about making friends.

 

[Wyldfire]

Just make new friends that don't know him. Hang out with them more and him less. If he asks why you aren't hanging out with him as much just say he's been acting like he only wants to hang out when he has no one else to hang out with and you figured it was time to branch out and find friends who enjoyed your company all the time.