Big ego or no ego? Which works best?

[Jack Hensy]

Having a big ego - I have sometimes gone off on a girl. I yelled at my date for taking her time getting ready to go out. That night I had the best sex ever with her. She treated me respect after that. I have known to throw a shoe at a girl (missing her head)and telling her to cut the BS when she plays too much. The other girl started kissing me after that. The meanness works more than not. I get more love when I am 100% honest and angry. Maybe its a masculine thing?

Dropping the ego - There have been times where I have been mr. nice guy, kind, and not flirting and sometimes I get love and other times not. When I am just being myself sometimes I will end up in bed with a girl and other times I heard lets just be friends. It is 50/50 when I am nice.

Do you guys drop the ego or keep the ego?

 

[bigneil]

Neither extreme works.

You want to be someone she knows could have an ego, but who is humble. The kind of guy who talks up her ex boyfriend instead of insulting him, all the while being someone he can't compare to and she knows it.

 

[Chev.Chelios]

1+ Neil

My natural friends growing up had the same characteristics, guys that could be so nice and gentle but you knew if you did something to pissed them off you'd have a huge problem on there hands lol

Its just having the full range of emotions man.

 

[guru1000]

You must bifurcate between inner value and ego. What you've shown was inner value and demonstration through excessive emotion, not necessarily ego.

If a girl disrespects you and you respond with disdain, you are demonstrating that you are higher value and will not tolerate such deprecation. This is an overt demonstration of your inner value.

Ego originates from a place of weakness and contrived value. If you and she got into an argument spawn by your own misdoings, you broke up with her, and refused to call her due to your "value," then you would be operating from a place of ego.

Understand the distinction?

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

A little bit of ego. Too much or none is bad. It's like being c0cky and funny (I have to use a '0' in place of an 'o' because for some fvcking reason it gets blocked out on here). Having too much would be seen as arrogant and wouldn't be funny. But not having any would not adequately portray confidence.

 

[Serenity]

In my understanding of ego it's the nice guy who is not himself that is driven by ego. To pretend to be someone you're not is definitely to have an ego.

Ego is not honest. However as you point out, you receive more love when showing raw honesty, which is not ego.

Just to really point it out quoting your post. You said you "get more love" when you're "100% honest" and that you're then having an ego. You also said that when you're "just being yourself" you have lower success and you say this is without ego. If you have lower success by "just being yourself" are you then really honestly being yourself? How can you just be yourself and NOT be 100% honest? Is it implied that your 100% honesty is pretended and "yourself" is actually dishonest? If then the person you are when you're "just being yourself" is dishonest, isn't that persona then the actual ego?

I know this is a mindfvck, but seriously, contemplate this before replying. You created this paradox.

 

[raider87]

Little bit humble, little bit Cassius.

 

[dude99]

Having a big ego - I have sometimes gone off on a girl. I yelled at my date for taking her time getting ready to go out. That night I had the best sex ever with her. She treated me respect after that. I have known to throw a shoe at a girl (missing her head)and telling her to cut the BS when she plays too much. The other girl started kissing me after that. The meanness works more than not. I get more love when I am 100% honest and angry. Maybe its a masculine thing?

Dropping the ego - There have been times where I have been mr. nice guy, kind, and not flirting and sometimes I get love and other times not. When I am just being myself sometimes I will end up in bed with a girl and other times I heard lets just be friends. It is 50/50 when I am nice.

Do you guys drop the ego or keep the ego?

Don't mistake ego for confidence. Confidence works. Ego doesn't

 

[Jack Hensy]

You must bifurcate between inner value and ego. What you've shown was inner value and demonstration through excessive emotion, not necessarily ego.

If a girl disrespects you and you respond with disdain, you are demonstrating that you are higher value and will not tolerate such deprecation. This is an overt demonstration of your inner value.

Ego originates from a place of weakness and contrived value. If you and she got into an argument spawn by your own misdoings, you broke up with her, and refused to call her due to your "value," then you would be operating from a place of ego.

Understand the distinction?

Brilliant post.

 

[Jack Hensy]

Do you guys like my photo?

 

[usernamedox11]

Just be yourself and come from a place of self-respect

 

[BrandonCodi]

I always considered ego to be a bad thing, Its good to have confidence but being ****y can come across as rude and not understanding, not that it matters if you are just going to fvck them but that being said I think its a bit much throw a shoe at a girl or close to her. I would have just brushed her off in a respectful way that makes her feel kinda ****ty for being a *****. I don't think violence is good idea it could really backlash later on in life. Ego is bad confidence is good.

 

[Glassguy]

Be confident but not ****y and know when to humble yourself

 

[Urbanyst]

Having high VALUE works best.

 

[Jack Hensy]

Depends on the girl, although girls are notorious for interpreting form over substance.

LA Raider -- right on man. High fives you. All women care about is a man's appearance.