Bi Polar Disorder

[Young OG]

My kids mom is bi polar. I also didn’t know that until after we dated for a while. I would honestly move on bro. Bi polar women are not worth dealing with. If you don’t like how she acted recently, then get ready for more. That kind of stuff will continue to happen. Another big thing about bi polar women is that they have poor decision making. Which means there is a good chance they will cheat or engage in risky behavior. Do yourself a favor and move on now.

 

[Glassguy]

I look back and realize how much I sabotaged the relationship from my own insecurities and bipolar.

It's funny because when she broke down last week and was apologizing, she kept saying that she felt so bad for sabotaging our relationship from not being able to believe me even though she knew that she should have been believing me

 

[CBear]

And my entire point should be this- after seeing the facts that shows I did nothing wrong and these accusations were compete BS, it seems there are things still rolling around in her head about this whole thing.
Maybe just a woman thing, but I'm curious if bi polar adds to it and makes it a little harder for doubt to dissappear.

I would never recommend anyone to be with anyone who has bipolar or takes psych meds. Having said that, this seems like just a regular female insecurity thing. Will need a lot of reassurance and even that might not be enough. Let us know how it goes.

 

[soulforge]

My kids mom is bi polar. I also didn’t know that until after we dated for a while. I would honestly move on bro. Bi polar women are not worth dealing with. If you don’t like how she acted recently, then get ready for more. That kind of stuff will continue to happen. Another big thing about bi polar women is that they have poor decision making. Which means there is a good chance they will cheat or engage in risky behavior. Do yourself a favor and move on now.

Absolutely. They are very impulsive and will sabotage the relationship.

If she is irresponsible with alcohol and has tattoos, also very likely to cheat.

 

[mbc0029]

Women are unstable. Bipolar women are even more unstable. It's a variable you have to consider if you take her seriously. It's easy to get sucked into that ****.

Does it feel like she's a drag to be around? If you stay with her, this is what she's going to be like. You have to decide for yourself if it's worth the hassle.

Also, as mean as it sounds, if you decide to stay with her, I would tell her she can't talk to your ex. Basically, a boundary.

If you were just banging her, it doesn't matter.

 

[Glassguy]

Last night she was back to being sweet, cuddly, loving and talking about the future.

This afternoon as I'm at work (and haven't heard from her all day) my neighbor texts me because there is a Uhaul in my driveway. So apparently it was all smoke and mirrors last night and she knew she was going to do this today. Probably the biggest skank move anyone has ever done to me.

Oh well. Glassguy still has 10 or so women who have been "checking on him" very recently and made it clear they'd love to see me if I become single.
And I just became single lol.

Onto the next chapter

 

[soulforge]

Last night she was back to being sweet, cuddly, loving and talking about the future.

This afternoon as I'm at work (and haven't heard from her all day) my neighbor texts me because there is a Uhaul in my driveway. So apparently it was all smoke and mirrors last night and she knew she was going to do this today. Probably the biggest skank move anyone has ever done to me.

Oh well. Glassguy still has 10 or so women who have been "checking on him" very recently and made it clear they'd love to see me if I become single.
And I just became single lol.

Onto the next chapter

Are you single again? What the hell was all that drama about

 

[soulforge]

Last night she was back to being sweet, cuddly, loving and talking about the future.

This afternoon as I'm at work (and haven't heard from her all day) my neighbor texts me because there is a Uhaul in my driveway. So apparently it was all smoke and mirrors last night and she knew she was going to do this today. Probably the biggest skank move anyone has ever done to me.

Oh well. Glassguy still has 10 or so women who have been "checking on him" very recently and made it clear they'd love to see me if I become single.
And I just became single lol.

Onto the next chapter

Did she cheat on you?

 

[logicallefty]

After several major mistakes I made, here is what I have concluded regarding women and mental health issues.

They ALL have mental health issues to some degree. Some are inherited at birth, and some are generated from bad childhoods and/or past relationships.. The issues for us as men, IMO, are 1) how quickly can we recognize the mental health issues, see the symptoms, research it, and then figure out exactly who and what we are dealing with and then 2) Based on what we recognize, how can we keep our expectations in check, protect our hearts, and know when it is time to give up and cut them loose.

Even the Puerto Rican woman I am seeing now, she has a lot of past bitterness towards some exes which comes out. But she says her childhood was awesome and has never once uttered a bad word about her parents or how she grew up. Time will tell if we make it, but relative to the other (white) women I have been with, her issues are (seem) relatively low.

With my ex wife I got divorced from earlier this year, I recognized most of the issues. But there was one major one that she never disclosed to me up front. Even without knowing about it, my gut was telling me not to marry her. But I actually let her DAD talk me into it. I trusted him at the time and what he told me. He finally told me about her major mental health issue that neither she nor he ever disclosed to me. But by then, it was too late.

 

[soulforge]

After several major mistakes I made, here is what I have concluded regarding women and mental health issues.

They ALL have mental health issues to some degree. Some are inherited at birth, and some are generated from bad childhoods and/or past relationships.. The issues for us as men, IMO, are 1) how quickly can we recognize the mental health issues, see the symptoms, research it, and then figure out exactly who and what we are dealing with and then 2) Based on what we recognize, how can we keep our expectations in check, protect our hearts, and know when it is time to give up and cut them loose.

Even the Puerto Rican woman I am seeing now, she has a lot of past bitterness towards some exes which comes out. But she says her childhood was awesome and has never once uttered a bad word about her parents or how she grew up. Time will tell if we make it, but relative to the other (white) women I have been with, her issues are (seem) relatively low.

With my ex wife I got divorced from earlier this year, I recognized most of the issues. But there was one major one that she never disclosed to me up front. Even without knowing about it, my gut was telling me not to marry her. But I actually let her DAD talk me into it. I trusted him at the time and what he told me. He finally told me about her major mental health issue that neither she nor he ever disclosed to me. But by then, it was too late.

Childhood trauma? No father in the picture, depression/anxiety medication. Provious toxic relationships.

Hmmm is it even worth investing months or years? Only to be cheated on, or have her sabotage the relationship.

 

[BadBoy89]

I've currently been dating my gf for 10 months. Outside of the last 3 weeks, everything was great.

She told me the other night that she has insecurities from her ex cheating on her, lying to her, etc and that she is sorry for self sabotaging our relationship. Then blows up on me last night.

Is this a thing with people who are bi polar?

In my experience, if everything is going great and then a girl “suddenly”blows up, every thing was not going great. There were issues that built up over the course of the relationship.and they come to a head when a women blows up.

OP - you must live in a town of 500 people. How did the heck does everyone have each others number. The only way I would introduce my current gf to an ex is if we had 10 kids together and she was over 40.

 

[Glassguy]

In my experience, if everything is going great and then a girl “suddenly”blows up, every thing was not going great. There were issues that built up over the course of the relationship.and they come to a head when a women blows up.

OP - you must live in a town of 500 people. How did the heck does everyone have each others number. The only way I would introduce my current gf to an ex is if we had 10 kids together and she was over 40.

This area has about 70k people in a 20 mile radius.

And before my (now ex) gf, I'd hooked up with a chick. About a month before. I had to block this chick because she got really mad when I told her that I started seeing someone and she got very disrespectful and I had to block her. And I showed my (now ex) gf. Fast forward to 3 weeks ago, everything WAS fine, and my now exs ex husband started talking to the chick I hooked up with from my past (the irony). The crazy chick told my ex gfs ex husband that I was texting her all the way up until just a few months ago (total lie) but I had deleted everything after I had to block her back in December. And of course my now exs ex husband told her about it. And we had a long conversation which led to what I thought was everything being ok. Then she brought it back up a week later. We talked. Everything ok.
This week she started losing her shyte about it. Threatening to move out.

Last night I figured out how to pull up the phone and text log through my wireless provider. And I showed her that I hadn't texted this chick since right after we started dating. She had the proof of me telling the truth and this crazy chick lying. We went to sleep last night all cuddled up and feeling good about everything after showing her that i had been loyal and truthful the entire time. Wrong....
She moved out today while I was at work. Lied straight to my face last night about never going to lose me again, how much she loves me, blah blah blah.

And she left me a nice note after moving out saying that it's all in her head, she needs space, I'm her soul mate and that we will hopefully reconnect later on when she is in a better place.

To which she will be totally wrong about. It's funny that he left her jewelry cabinet that also had her wedding rings from her previous marriage.

And I'm in my 40s and she is 28. Never in my life have I been tricked like this. I'm normally really good at spotting the crazy ones from a mile away.

So I erased her from social media and I have a nurse prac on her way over now to hang out.

Onward and forward. The show must go on lol. Live and learn

 

[soulforge]

This area has about 70k people in a 20 mile radius.

And before my (now ex) gf, I'd hooked up with a chick. About a month before. I had to block this chick because she got really mad when I told her that I started seeing someone and she got very disrespectful and I had to block her. And I showed my (now ex) gf. Fast forward to 3 weeks ago, everything WAS fine, and my now exs ex husband started talking to the chick I hooked up with from my past (the irony). The crazy chick told my ex gfs ex husband that I was texting her all the way up until just a few months ago (total lie) but I had deleted everything after I had to block her back in December. And of course my now exs ex husband told her about it. And we had a long conversation which led to what I thought was everything being ok. Then she brought it back up a week later. We talked. Everything ok.
This week she started losing her shyte about it. Threatening to move out.

Last night I figured out how to pull up the phone and text log through my wireless provider. And I showed her that I hadn't texted this chick since right after we started dating. She had the proof of me telling the truth and this crazy chick lying. We went to sleep last night all cuddled up and feeling good about everything after showing her that i had been loyal and truthful the entire time. Wrong....
She moved out today while I was at work. Lied straight to my face last night about never going to lose me again, how much she loves me, blah blah blah.

And she left me a nice note after moving out saying that it's all in her head, she needs space, I'm her soul mate and that we will hopefully reconnect later on when she is in a better place.

To which she will be totally wrong about. It's funny that he left her jewelry cabinet that also had her wedding rings from her previous marriage.

And I'm in my 40s and she is 28. Never in my life have I been tricked like this. I'm normally really good at spotting the crazy ones from a mile away.

So I erased her from social media and I have a nurse prac on her way over now to hang out.

Onward and forward. The show must go on lol. Live and learn

And the lesson here is... If she is mentally unhealthy/unstable.

Bipolar, BPD, Depression, takes medication, she will more than likely be Crazee!

Get out before she truly fuks you over!

 

[soulforge]

This area has about 70k people in a 20 mile radius.

And before my (now ex) gf, I'd hooked up with a chick. About a month before. I had to block this chick because she got really mad when I told her that I started seeing someone and she got very disrespectful and I had to block her. And I showed my (now ex) gf. Fast forward to 3 weeks ago, everything WAS fine, and my now exs ex husband started talking to the chick I hooked up with from my past (the irony). The crazy chick told my ex gfs ex husband that I was texting her all the way up until just a few months ago (total lie) but I had deleted everything after I had to block her back in December. And of course my now exs ex husband told her about it. And we had a long conversation which led to what I thought was everything being ok. Then she brought it back up a week later. We talked. Everything ok.
This week she started losing her shyte about it. Threatening to move out.

Last night I figured out how to pull up the phone and text log through my wireless provider. And I showed her that I hadn't texted this chick since right after we started dating. She had the proof of me telling the truth and this crazy chick lying. We went to sleep last night all cuddled up and feeling good about everything after showing her that i had been loyal and truthful the entire time. Wrong....
She moved out today while I was at work. Lied straight to my face last night about never going to lose me again, how much she loves me, blah blah blah.

And she left me a nice note after moving out saying that it's all in her head, she needs space, I'm her soul mate and that we will hopefully reconnect later on when she is in a better place.

To which she will be totally wrong about. It's funny that he left her jewelry cabinet that also had her wedding rings from her previous marriage.

And I'm in my 40s and she is 28. Never in my life have I been tricked like this. I'm normally really good at spotting the crazy ones from a mile away.

So I erased her from social media and I have a nurse prac on her way over now to hang out.

Onward and forward. The show must go on lol. Live and learn

Also my impression of Glassguy is, that he is a ladies man. Probably been spinning plates forever.

Some girls are good at sniffing out the player.. Maybe you give off that impression & she instinctively didn't trust you.

Maybe she didn't want to be heartbroken down the line.

Or... she's just fukin crazy!!

 

[FlirtLife]

Fast forward to 3 weeks ago and the woman I blocked started talking to my gf's ex. Told him that I used her for sex (which I clearly stated my intentions with her and we only hooked up once) and said that we had texted all the way until March of this year, which is a lie. Nevertheless, my gf's ex made it a point to pass along that info to my gf.
...
Then yesterday she decided to message the crazy woman I hooked up with before I knew my gf.....and again re-accused me of talking to her after we had been dating for months.

Look at the result - he got closer to you, you trusted him, and then you lied about cheating on your girlfriend (his ex). He immediately backstabs you. And it worked. You can't change other people, but you can recognize what you did to contribute to the break up.

Why were you talking to your girlfriend's ex? Why was he a part of your girlfriend's life, and yours?

 

[Jor-El]

Speaking from experience,any man who dates a BI polar,BPD etc woman,well,be prepared for a rollercoaster ride that will leave you drained,confused,and frustrated...best avoided really but if you must go ahead for some reason,well,strap yerself in . Anything/nothing can trigger them and it always comes outta the blue!

 

[Glassguy]

Look at the result - he got closer to you, you trusted him, and then you lied about cheating on your girlfriend (his ex). He immediately backstabs you. And it worked. You can't change other people, but you can recognize what you did to contribute to the break up.

Why were you talking to your girlfriend's ex? Why was he a part of your girlfriend's life, and yours?

I didn't talk to my girlfriends ex husband (well now she is my ex gf). He started talking to this crazy chick that I hooked up with long before my gf came along. The crazy chick I hooked up with BEFORE ever meeting my gf told my gf's ex that I had continued to message her until March, when my gf and I started dating in late November. Which was a lie that I disputed over and over. Until I finally proved to her Friday night with my text/phone logs through my wireless provider.
After I showed her that I had not messaged this crazy chick (I had actually blocked her in early December) she seemed fine to work things out and told me everything I wanted to hear Friday night......knowing she was going to move out while I was at work the next day (yesterday). Then the letter she left me basically said that it killed her to move out, there is no doubt that we are soulmates and that she hopes she can get this stuff out of her head and hopes that we can eventually work this out later when she doesn't have the self sabotage attitude.

But the problem is that she LEFT. And for that reason she won't hear back from me if she reaches out because I can't work it out with someone long term who can leave on a whim. I'm not looking over my shoulder with anyone.
We had a really good relationship before this situation came up a month ago with me getting accused of texting the other woman.
I think her Fight or Flight kicked it and she couldn't get this stuff out of her head even after I showed her the phone/text logs proving that I'd done nothing wrong.
She should have had stricter boundaries with her ex husband, which she vowed to do 2 weeks ago when I found out that these lies were coming from him through him talking to the crazy chick I hooked up with before my gf came along.

 

[Glassguy]

Also my impression of Glassguy is, that he is a ladies man. Probably been spinning plates forever.

Some girls are good at sniffing out the player.. Maybe you give off that impression & she instinctively didn't trust you.

Maybe she didn't want to be heartbroken down the line.

Or... she's just fukin crazy!!

I've been divorced for 10 years. I was sort of a player before I got married and I went full rotation of plates for YEARS after I got divorced, outside of a 3 yr relationship.
I'm 100% a rotation guy. But when one comes along that's worthy or a relationship with me, I'm 100% committed to that person and faithful.
It's funny because as soon as I changed my fb profile to single, I had like 15 women sending me messages.
And I'll build another rotation and go from there. I'm not committed to anyone in a rotation but I'm very committed while in an exclusive relationship....which is rare.
But this break up stings and I'm going to ease back into dating instead of jumping right back in head first.

 

[member162951]

Hey @Glassguy sorry about all this man. Sounds like you had a good thing until this sh*t went down.

I wouldn't blame it all on mental illness though, women are emotional creatures, often irrationally so when it comes to their emotions,. She just happens to have bi-polar likely in conjunction with BPD (borderline personally disorder, cluster B) which is not uncommon and adds to the cray especially the Borderline.

Did she leave an address where she's staying in her note? Did she block you? I ask because she admitted to feeling insecure and it could be a sh*t test, she's watching now to see how hard you'll fight for her. It's happened to me a few times, I'm pretty familiar with these types of sh*t tests.
When younger, I would chase, and it only got worse. Now I just let em go, go NC and they come back eventually.

IME the most egregious part was that she led you to believe everything was fine, was playing all cute and cuddly and the following day while you were at work, she left.

That's low and basically unforgiving. If she needed space to regroup her emotions, she could and should have talked about it with you, NOT left a damn note. That's what people who give a sh*t do, they don't just leave after leading you to believe all was well the night before.

I don't think this is over tho. After a time once she realizes you are done and not gonna chase, she'll have a rethink and be back. Could almost guarantee it.

You're gonna be longing for her too, you're human and you're really into her, that doesnt just go away overnight it'll take a while, so think about how you will respond when/if she returns.

Good luck man ane keep us posted.

 

[Glassguy]

Hey @Glassguy sorry about all this man. Sounds like you had a good thing until this sh*t went down.

I wouldn't blame it all on mental illness though, women are emotional creatures, often irrationally so when it comes to their emotions,. She just happens to have bi-polar likely in conjunction with BPD (borderline personally disorder, cluster B) which is not uncommon and adds to the cray especially the Borderline.

Did she leave an address where she's staying in her note? Did she block you? I ask because she admitted to feeling insecure and it could be a sh*t test, she's watching now to see how hard you'll fight for her. It's happened to me a few times, I'm pretty familiar with these types of sh*t tests.
When younger, I would chase, and it only got worse. Now I just let em go, go NC and they come back eventually.

IME the most egregious part was that she led you to believe everything was fine, was playing all cute and cuddly and the following day while you were at work, she left.

That's low and basically unforgiving. If she needed space to regroup her emotions, she could and should have talked about it with you, NOT left a damn note. That's what people who give a sh*t do, they don't just leave after leading you to believe all was well the night before.

I don't think this is over tho. After a time once she realizes you are done and not gonna chase, she'll have a rethink and be back. Could almost guarantee it.

You're gonna be longing for her too, you're human and you're really into her, that doesnt just go away overnight it'll take a while, so think about how you will respond when/if she returns.

Good luck man ane keep us posted.

I'm going to address a few things from your post:
1. The WAY she left was egregious. She addressed that in the note. She said that leaving was the hardest thing she's had to do and she didn't have the courage to tell me.
2. She told me that she was putting her stuff in storage and staying at her moms
3. Before these allegations started a month ago, this was the best relationship I've been in. And I don't think she's ever had a relationship where 2 people just loved each other for the right reasons.
4. She left a jewelry box with some important pieces in it. I'm going to wait a few days to let emotions settle, both of us think about all that's happened, and then let her know that I have it and she can come and get it. And also give her a response to what she told me in the letter she left.
The note talked about how much she loved me, I'm her soul mate, she needs to get these things out of her head. It was about a 2 page letter. Tells me that she is sorry for how she's handled this and treated me over the last month (by not believing me from the start) and that I am the perfect man for her. And that she hopes she can figure out a way to dump the baggage from her previous marriage and hopes that our paths cross again when that happens.