Señor Fingers
Master Don Juan
Howdy Fellaz!
Fingers here with an important message for all you aspiring playas out there.
For starters, lemme just say that it's great that you found this place. A lot of you have really improved your game and I applaud you for this.
But I sense that many of you are still stuck in a rut, you have the understanding but lack the wisdom. The posts you read excite and motivate you, yet you get nowhere..you are essentially all c0ck and no balls!
I was once at this stage and I would like to share some of the things that were detrimental to my development in the hopes that maybe you can avoid falling into the same traps...
Without further ado, I give you:
======================
THE TRAPS OF SEDUCTION
======================
Trap #1 - Seducing for the Wrong Reasons
Why are you even here? What is it that you want? A seemingly simple question, yet I see a lot of lost souls here, even amongst the ranks of the so-called elite! Of all the mistakes I made, this was the worst. I wasn't chasing hotties for my personal benefit as much as for the social status it provided. I knew how it felt to envy the player, and for once I wanted to be the one who made them all jealous, or at least admire me. Doing this only clouded my vision because I was aiming to impress others instead of visualizing my own happiness. Who are you doing this for? Them, or you?
Trap #2 - Posting for the Wrong Reasons
As if this were not enough, I sought to win YOUR approval as well. Post after post I wrote and I got some great responses here and there. But most of it was ass-kissing...how I loved the validation...and how difficult it is for me to admit this! My gift for writing has masked the fact that I am no seduction guru. Yes, I am far more successful than I ever was and some of you might consider me to be a player if you met me IRL, but the sad truth is that I never let you guys see my vulnerable side. Pride kept me from asking for help and for this I do apologize. We should post to share knowledge and for the most part, I have only preached it.
Trap #3 - Sexual Addiction
So I finally got the women I wanted. Little did I know that it would never be enough. Funny thing is... I never wanted them as much as I needed their validation, proof that I was desirable to undo the years of bad self esteem. I became a fiend. Sarging became a daily vice because the high I got from my conquests was so short-lived. Never one to settle for less, I was always looking for the better girl..prettier, sexier, bigger ass, etc. I was also very competitive and was constantly trying to out-do my fellow players. It was exactly what I thought I wanted, but the truth is that I was never satisfied and the lifestyle began to consume me. As a result I found that my professional life began to suffer and it was humbling to recognize my depression for what it was. I finally got out of this phase by rediscovering my other passions in life. I forgot all about the natural high I would get from performing a great set, or creating a masterpiece. It may not be as intense as an orgasm, but the high definitely lasts a lot longer and there are only GOOD consequences!
Trap #4 - Distorted Perception of Women
After hooking up with lots of committed women (some of them married) I began to lose faith in womankind. I felt I could never trust a woman again, knowing what I knew. I didnt see the big picture though. The reason I was attracting these dodgy chicks was because of the circumstances of my approach. I was mostly doing club pickups and my aim was fast seduction. If a girl did not get with the program, I simply nexted her on the spot and managed to filter out the women who actually had some morals! Realize that your perception of those around you stems from the way you interact with them. There are some great women out there if you have the patience to discover them. Not all seduction has to be "fast"! Tailor your approach to fit your goals.
Trap #5 - Losing Focus
I have never been a player. My whole life, I have been more of a one-woman kind of guy. I always figured that I had better things to do than chase skirts. And I was right. Thinking back, these were the happiest and most productive times of my life! However, after getting rejected by my one-itis, I began to see my monogamous nature as a weakness, and this feeling is what brought me here. Now that I have tasted the PUA lifestyle, I realize that it really is not for me. As much as I wanted to believe I was a player, deep down I just wanted a woman to INSPIRE me, you know? Someone passionate who could shake up my world and push me to be better than what I am.... a soulmate, for lack of a better term. But somewhere along the way, I got distracted by the ego boost of random encounters. It consumed me, and while my love life flourished, the rest of me began to rot from the inside out. I lost a lot of great opportunities because of this and learned the hard way the balance is everything! The most important thing you can do for yourself is choose the things you want in your life and work towards them SIMULTANEOUSLY.
Trap #6 - Over Analysis
When you try to capture an experience with your logical mind while it is happening, you miss the joy of experiencing it! There is magic in every moment once you let go of your internal scientist and simply enjoy the ride! You already know this, but do you believe it? Seriously, put down your microscopes and savor this miracle we call existence! It is GREAT to be alive! Having this fun-loving attitude will make you much more attractive than any C&F, DLV, Negs, because they will flow out of you naturally! Need I say more?
Trap #7 - Forum Addiction
It was all too easy for me to get sucked into this trap. For one, I finally found a place where I could speak candidly about my experiences without fear of judgement...hell, you guys were cheering me on the whole time! Not to mention that a lot of you are really interesting/funny characters and I genuinely enjoy the insights you have to offer. This is great and all, but I noticed a pattern taking place. The more time I spent reading and posting, the more trouble I had picking up women. On the flip side, I have been most successful when my visits here were sparse. I guess the more you try to understand an artform, the more it eludes you! I noticed the same thing when I am creating music. When I am discussing scales with my musician friends, it all makes sense and I feel a level of understanding has been reached. But when I actually play the music, scales are the furthest things from my mind. I am simply playing around, discovering new things, and making my own rules! This is how the game should be played! (Uh...how long you been sitting there?)
Trap #8 - Being Too Smooth
All too often, I have messed up my chances by playing it too cool. Seduction became sort of a competition between me and women. This is a terrible frame because its supposed to be nature's dance, not a battle! I would bust, tease and mess around with girls, thinking that I was "upping their buying temperature" but little did I know that they were already hot for me and all these antics were not only unnecessary, but detrimental to the pickup! They didn't want someone to verbally spar with them all night..they wanted a fun-loving, take-charge guy who goes after what he wants. Plain and simple. I thought my game had to be suave and airtight in order to score, but that **** got blown away by a pattern of observations from my ex girlfriends. They said that they fell for me because I looked lost....huh? WTF does that mean? For months I pondered the implications of this till I found insight in "The Art of Seduction" Apparently I am what Robert Greene calls a "Natural Seducer" I draw women in by exuding a sort of helplessness, or need to be rescued. Not exactly Mr. Smooth, eh? But after talking with my girls and hearing them spit out the same response, I realized that Mr. Greene had my number! Trying to be something I wasn't was one of the biggest traps I ever fell into. Live and learn.
Trap #9 - Being an Assh0le
It sounds messed up, but for a time, I really enjoyed breaking hearts. It was like a big "fukk you" to all the girls who had ever done me wrong. I thought I was like...restoring the balance of the universe or some sh!t, but I was wrong. All I did was become the very thing I hated. I thought that jerks were the only ones that got laid while the nice guys got trusty ol Palmela Handerson. It took me time but now I see that a real man is above these labels. He is nice when he needs to be and is a total d!ck when it is called for. He rewards good and punishes evil. Sure, sometimes he makes a bad judgement call, but his intentions are true and at least he has something rare in this day and age...integrity!
Well, thats about all I could think of. I know this post is sort of a downer...not my most upbeat stuff, but I felt it had to be said and I welcome any criticism/feedback.
Most importantly, feel free to post the sticking points you have faced, how you overcame them and the lessons they taught you.
It's been real yall
signing off,
FINGZ
Fingers here with an important message for all you aspiring playas out there.
For starters, lemme just say that it's great that you found this place. A lot of you have really improved your game and I applaud you for this.
But I sense that many of you are still stuck in a rut, you have the understanding but lack the wisdom. The posts you read excite and motivate you, yet you get nowhere..you are essentially all c0ck and no balls!
I was once at this stage and I would like to share some of the things that were detrimental to my development in the hopes that maybe you can avoid falling into the same traps...
Without further ado, I give you:
======================
THE TRAPS OF SEDUCTION
======================
Trap #1 - Seducing for the Wrong Reasons
Why are you even here? What is it that you want? A seemingly simple question, yet I see a lot of lost souls here, even amongst the ranks of the so-called elite! Of all the mistakes I made, this was the worst. I wasn't chasing hotties for my personal benefit as much as for the social status it provided. I knew how it felt to envy the player, and for once I wanted to be the one who made them all jealous, or at least admire me. Doing this only clouded my vision because I was aiming to impress others instead of visualizing my own happiness. Who are you doing this for? Them, or you?
Trap #2 - Posting for the Wrong Reasons
As if this were not enough, I sought to win YOUR approval as well. Post after post I wrote and I got some great responses here and there. But most of it was ass-kissing...how I loved the validation...and how difficult it is for me to admit this! My gift for writing has masked the fact that I am no seduction guru. Yes, I am far more successful than I ever was and some of you might consider me to be a player if you met me IRL, but the sad truth is that I never let you guys see my vulnerable side. Pride kept me from asking for help and for this I do apologize. We should post to share knowledge and for the most part, I have only preached it.
Trap #3 - Sexual Addiction
So I finally got the women I wanted. Little did I know that it would never be enough. Funny thing is... I never wanted them as much as I needed their validation, proof that I was desirable to undo the years of bad self esteem. I became a fiend. Sarging became a daily vice because the high I got from my conquests was so short-lived. Never one to settle for less, I was always looking for the better girl..prettier, sexier, bigger ass, etc. I was also very competitive and was constantly trying to out-do my fellow players. It was exactly what I thought I wanted, but the truth is that I was never satisfied and the lifestyle began to consume me. As a result I found that my professional life began to suffer and it was humbling to recognize my depression for what it was. I finally got out of this phase by rediscovering my other passions in life. I forgot all about the natural high I would get from performing a great set, or creating a masterpiece. It may not be as intense as an orgasm, but the high definitely lasts a lot longer and there are only GOOD consequences!
Trap #4 - Distorted Perception of Women
After hooking up with lots of committed women (some of them married) I began to lose faith in womankind. I felt I could never trust a woman again, knowing what I knew. I didnt see the big picture though. The reason I was attracting these dodgy chicks was because of the circumstances of my approach. I was mostly doing club pickups and my aim was fast seduction. If a girl did not get with the program, I simply nexted her on the spot and managed to filter out the women who actually had some morals! Realize that your perception of those around you stems from the way you interact with them. There are some great women out there if you have the patience to discover them. Not all seduction has to be "fast"! Tailor your approach to fit your goals.
Trap #5 - Losing Focus
I have never been a player. My whole life, I have been more of a one-woman kind of guy. I always figured that I had better things to do than chase skirts. And I was right. Thinking back, these were the happiest and most productive times of my life! However, after getting rejected by my one-itis, I began to see my monogamous nature as a weakness, and this feeling is what brought me here. Now that I have tasted the PUA lifestyle, I realize that it really is not for me. As much as I wanted to believe I was a player, deep down I just wanted a woman to INSPIRE me, you know? Someone passionate who could shake up my world and push me to be better than what I am.... a soulmate, for lack of a better term. But somewhere along the way, I got distracted by the ego boost of random encounters. It consumed me, and while my love life flourished, the rest of me began to rot from the inside out. I lost a lot of great opportunities because of this and learned the hard way the balance is everything! The most important thing you can do for yourself is choose the things you want in your life and work towards them SIMULTANEOUSLY.
Trap #6 - Over Analysis
When you try to capture an experience with your logical mind while it is happening, you miss the joy of experiencing it! There is magic in every moment once you let go of your internal scientist and simply enjoy the ride! You already know this, but do you believe it? Seriously, put down your microscopes and savor this miracle we call existence! It is GREAT to be alive! Having this fun-loving attitude will make you much more attractive than any C&F, DLV, Negs, because they will flow out of you naturally! Need I say more?
Trap #7 - Forum Addiction
It was all too easy for me to get sucked into this trap. For one, I finally found a place where I could speak candidly about my experiences without fear of judgement...hell, you guys were cheering me on the whole time! Not to mention that a lot of you are really interesting/funny characters and I genuinely enjoy the insights you have to offer. This is great and all, but I noticed a pattern taking place. The more time I spent reading and posting, the more trouble I had picking up women. On the flip side, I have been most successful when my visits here were sparse. I guess the more you try to understand an artform, the more it eludes you! I noticed the same thing when I am creating music. When I am discussing scales with my musician friends, it all makes sense and I feel a level of understanding has been reached. But when I actually play the music, scales are the furthest things from my mind. I am simply playing around, discovering new things, and making my own rules! This is how the game should be played! (Uh...how long you been sitting there?)
Trap #8 - Being Too Smooth
All too often, I have messed up my chances by playing it too cool. Seduction became sort of a competition between me and women. This is a terrible frame because its supposed to be nature's dance, not a battle! I would bust, tease and mess around with girls, thinking that I was "upping their buying temperature" but little did I know that they were already hot for me and all these antics were not only unnecessary, but detrimental to the pickup! They didn't want someone to verbally spar with them all night..they wanted a fun-loving, take-charge guy who goes after what he wants. Plain and simple. I thought my game had to be suave and airtight in order to score, but that **** got blown away by a pattern of observations from my ex girlfriends. They said that they fell for me because I looked lost....huh? WTF does that mean? For months I pondered the implications of this till I found insight in "The Art of Seduction" Apparently I am what Robert Greene calls a "Natural Seducer" I draw women in by exuding a sort of helplessness, or need to be rescued. Not exactly Mr. Smooth, eh? But after talking with my girls and hearing them spit out the same response, I realized that Mr. Greene had my number! Trying to be something I wasn't was one of the biggest traps I ever fell into. Live and learn.
Trap #9 - Being an Assh0le
It sounds messed up, but for a time, I really enjoyed breaking hearts. It was like a big "fukk you" to all the girls who had ever done me wrong. I thought I was like...restoring the balance of the universe or some sh!t, but I was wrong. All I did was become the very thing I hated. I thought that jerks were the only ones that got laid while the nice guys got trusty ol Palmela Handerson. It took me time but now I see that a real man is above these labels. He is nice when he needs to be and is a total d!ck when it is called for. He rewards good and punishes evil. Sure, sometimes he makes a bad judgement call, but his intentions are true and at least he has something rare in this day and age...integrity!
Well, thats about all I could think of. I know this post is sort of a downer...not my most upbeat stuff, but I felt it had to be said and I welcome any criticism/feedback.
Most importantly, feel free to post the sticking points you have faced, how you overcame them and the lessons they taught you.
It's been real yall
signing off,
FINGZ
good post