Beware of the Jaded

[BeExcellent]

From time to time it's interesting to observe certain dogmas around here. Some members adopt a distinctively binary view of something or other and the community is not well served by these attitudes. The result of binary thinking is not only that it limits or narrows one's perspective, but more importantly that it may influence someone less experienced in such a way that at the end of the day is actually detrimental to those who adopt a narrow view based upon what they read or absorb here and then find it isn't so in the real world. This leads to disillusionment and disappointment. It can lead to anger and frustration when perhaps a wider lens might better inform the reader.

In recent days (and this is always true to some degree or another) there have been posters espousing ideals that are from my perspective like caricatures of reality. And caricatures are cartoon characters. They are not real.

Some of the attitudes I see around here are things like:

"Marriage is a horrible deal. Don't get married, you'll only get divorce raped..."

"Women are only good for sex and after 35 they aren't good for anything..."

"Women are going to have sex with the Chads and then will cvck a normal man to gain his resources"

"Older women should be thrown away. Only the women from 18-23 are worth anything..."

"Women are incapable of logic and are ruled by emotion..."

"LTRs and Marriage are for cvcks. You should be spinning plates forever..."

"Don't ask a fish how to go fishing..." This one is a favorite of mine. Who but the fish knows its environment best?

If you look at any of the above assertions (which I as a woman am well aware I may catch some heat for mentioning) they are all coming from a place of fear and lack. The reader of various posts around here must bear in mind that many men here have had genuinely awful experiences with some awful women and there are plenty of men around here who haven't had success in the relationship department ever. This creates a bias. A negative bias. I am pointing this out because there is a frustration that emerges when some men around here cry about how some short or fat or bald or ugly man ended up with a pretty woman and yet here he is, objectively more (fill in the blank) and he is not having success. "Why am I not successful!" some cry. I dunno. Perhaps a close examination of your attitudes should be considered.

Some posts are asking for basic nuts/bolts advice. How do I text? How much is too much? What do I say? That's cool but really the answer is get out there in a social environment and get some experience. Get rejected, fail. Fail some more.

I'd be willing to bet a substantial sum that top salesmen are not running around on here lamenting their woes with women. Those guys are too occupied getting laid or in good LTRs or marriages. By the same token I do not see the men here on the forum who are known to be in satisfactory LTRs or marriages jumping on the negative bandwagon to agree with the above attitudes...nor do I see (as a rule) the older more life experienced men jumping on that bandwagon. But some of the most frequent and vocal posters espouse these narrow views.

It's an observation. Be aware of your own individual goals in your personal life and your life at large. As some posters have stated there is plenty of gold to be mined here so long as you weed out the dogmatic self defeatist stuff.

I do think there is a great deal of value in understanding the generalities that can be observed in the marketplace. Plate spinning serves a useful purpose for example. Going by actions rather than expectations or words is a good practice. Avoiding unhealthy women is certainly good advice. Self-improvement as a focus benefits each of us individually and improves our experience and enjoyment within the world around us and the world at large. Lots of women are entitled or vacuous and so forth.

Learn to screen properly and efficiently the women you allow into your life. Know WHY you are allowing a woman an opportunity. And that is some of the debate I am referring to. Your attitudes are going to affect your ability to screen well. And how well you screen is going to affect your outcome, even though early on it is best that you are as outcome independent as possible...

In some ways the board here is a representative slice of the world at large when you factor in who as a percentage of the population, is more or less successful in any given arena. There are plenty of successful contributors here whose content is worthwhile. There are those who have transformed themselves along the way and benefited from the information and wisdom that exists here. And there are those who beat their chests and spout dogma which may or may not really be of service in the long run. What I enjoy about the group here is the variety of viewpoints. Determine your own individual aim and then seek out guidance on how to get where you want to go. Whether that is getting laid tonight or getting married and being a father one day, or whether it's enjoying a companion you can hang out with once you are over the hill, because at some point we are ALL going to be over the hill.

Obviously I am not a man and have never and will never be one. But I had a great man for a father who did not pamper nor spoil me, and I have a responsible man for a son (for I do not pamper nor spoil him), and I have had the pleasure of knowing many great men over my lifetime, in personal relationships and in family and among friends and colleagues. I have also known men who haven't manifested themselves as they could have. So I've seen a few things over the years.

Beware of the jaded. Be careful what attitudes you allow to populate your mind. Be sure it serves your greater purpose in your personal life and your life at large.

You are invited to discuss.

 

[DelayedGratification]

Too many points to address at this late hour, but thank you for yet another insightful post.

The nuance I would add is for readers to consider the context of the information being shared. It's an extremely varied group here, and what works for one poster may not apply at all to a particular reader.

A dirt simple example is the "work on yourself" meme. It's good advice, but it means something different to everybody.

I'm in my 50's. Almost at the other end of a pretty successful tour of duty raising two sons. Have an accomplished tech career: a patent to my name, real-world-relevant contributions to engineering standards bodies, launched several successful startups, etc. I have diverse, if esoteric, personal interests. I'm a Makerspace geek, a classically-trained musician, and a bunch of stuff in between.

So "working on myself" means something entirely different thing than an early twenty-something ready to get to work building empires.

 

[zekko]

"Don't ask a fish how to go fishing..." This one is a favorite of mine. Who but the fish knows its environment best?

That one's always bugged me. There's a lesson in there, but I've always thought that if a fish could talk, it would make a fantastic consultant on how to attract fish. And since fish don't talk, why would you be asking them questions in the first place?

 

[17 shots]

That's just how most men talk about women when you're not around. You're inside the men's locker room

 

[Bokanovsky]

"Don't ask a fish how to go fishing..." This one is a favorite of mine. Who but the fish knows its environment best?

An experienced fisherman.

Fish have no lessons to teach you. They don't know sh!t about their environment. "Knowing" something requires analysis and abstract thinking. Fish don't do that. They operate based on instinct (much like women in the dating context). We are on sosuave to consult with other fishermen, not with the fish. That doesn't make us "jaded".

 

[Smok1nAce]

Judging by some of these posters avatars here and you can already tell something wrong with half of them.

I spend more hours then I should on the internet. As of 2020 the internet is filled with great advice and learning material. But unfortunately it is a vacuum for looser and gave a voice to people who 20 years ago where"fringes" of society. (a very dangerous thing)

Go to the library and have a conversation.

Go to the sports bar and have a conversation.

Go to the farmers market and have a conversation.

Go to the internet and have a conversation.

You will notice similarities and differences in the conversation and caliber of people you talk with. I do agree with you that alot of the information spurred out here is very dangerous to young minds and can "age you mentally".

 

[jaymbrs]

Black and White thinking shows a lack wisdom and of experience in general,

Not necessarily. A person who thinks in black and white could also be a person who has experience and is decisive on what he/she feels about the matter.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

Not necessarily. A person who thinks in black and white could also be a person who has experience and is decisive on what he/she feels about the matter.

In a very limited technical scope maybe, but not in anything else. It's considered a thinking trap. There's a bunch of them and they're invalid assumptions about the world that lead to unnecessary anxiety and self doubt.

If you think pragmatically about things it becomes easier to not take everything personally. For example your sensory organs pick up a limited amount of information(they can't pick up ALL of it), that information is transferred to your brain where some might be missed or overlooked. The conclusion you come to is based on this partial info. That's what anything is to you, an illusion you made for yourself and not the real thing. It's a subjective perception. Objectively the thing is not good or bad, just a thing, an event. Yet we constantly forget that and believe the stories we make up as if they're gospel. Then we hurt our own feelings and hurt ourselves because we believe these made up stories so strongly.

A lot of men here have been damaged by the stories they told themselves about a woman that likes them but had issues. A good example is a BPD woman. She'll love the living hell out of you like no one else ever has and a lot of men eat it up instead of remaining centered and not identifying with extreme emotions, positive or negative. When she inevitably drives them crazy and leaves they are super broken because they identified too strongly with the bond and neglected themselves to the point that there's a technical term called 'BPD survivors' for them. They usually need treatment for PTSD by a professional but instead come on here and latch on to detrimental single minded dogmas in an effort to retain their sanity. What's worse is without a lot of work on themselves they'll go out into the world seeking similar qualities from other women(women that go absolutely crazy for them right off the bat), effectively asking the universe for another helping of BPD.

While we're not a clinic I agree that the varied responses usually help to keep us from misleading people.

The quantity and intellectual quality of the posts are a reflection of the IQ bell curve we see in real society. Many low quality posts, a few amazing ones. Just like there are many average IQs and a few geniuses.

 

[Trump]

In recent days (and this is always true to some degree or another) there have been posters espousing ideals that are from my perspective like caricatures of reality. And caricatures are cartoon characters. They are not real.

Some of the attitudes I see around here are things like:

OK dear, here we go.

"Marriage is a horrible deal. Don't get married, you'll only get divorce raped..."

Is this not true? If a woman always has the divorce option in her back pocket, she can emotionally and psychologically destroy the man.

"Women are only good for sex and after 35 they aren't good for anything..."

I think the message is “women are a lot more fertile under 35 than over.”

"Women are going to have sex with the Chads and then will cvck a normal man to gain his resources"

I would agree. If this is not true, every women getting married or cohabiting would have no issue whatsoever to sign a iron clad prenup.

"Older women should be thrown away. Only the women from 18-23 are worth anything..."

I wouldn’t say “thrown away.” But they have sell the same way a younger woman can. A younger, fertile woman can often sell better than an older woman.

Not saying older woman can’t be valuable to society. Tons of them are nurses, doctors, teachers, lawyers, and politicians. But if you want to sell or reproduce, you have to go young.

"Women are incapable of logic and are ruled by emotion..."

Again, it depends on their age.

"LTRs and Marriage are for cvcks. You should be spinning plates forever..."

A lot of debatable points here. I think the issue is: what can you get from a LTR that you cannot get from spinning plates? If it’s emotional security, that’s not something tangible that you can feel and touch and see. I would say that’s worthless.

"Don't ask a fish how to go fishing..." This one is a favorite of mine. Who but the fish knows its environment best?

True, but the fish is not going to tell the fisherman, “here’s how you catch me.” The fish is not going to tell the fisherman “see that single available decent looking fish down the river who is my competition? This is what you do to catch her.”

If I’m ever lost in a Victoria Secret store, I’ll ask the fish which way to the exit.


I would say you are thinking from your rational mind. You are older, educated, have children, decent looking, and mix in with the elite. Your life is set. If you were looking for a husband now, would you tell us how to attract and seduce a 27 year good looking girl? Only when you are satisfied with your current situation, then you can help others, without any malice.

Just on another note: If I was 22 and came into sosuave looking for help on how to attract, seduce, and make women fall in love with you, and the advice was “just exist and the woman will love you” or “women seduce men” or “it is so easy to get laid, just focus on your life mission,”, I would probably shoot something up.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

There is no way a clueless 22 year old can come to a website and learn how to attract, seduce, and make women fall in love with him.

If there was a way, it would already have been stickied by now for all the newbies and you wouldn't see countless threads asking about game.

Use your brain trump. You're a smart guy. Why would you ever be stupid enough to believe that the secret to women could be found on the internet?

Btw, I have a bridge I want to sell you.....

The age of internalization is 14-22. That's the time you were supposed to figure out chicks. You are surrounded by chicks left and right 24/7. After 22, if you haven't figure it out, you are sh1t out of luck and weeded out of existence. There is something wrong with your brain/genetics and nature has no sympathy.

You're telling me you got 8 fvcking years of being surrounded by crazy hormonal teeny bopper girls and you still need a damn website to figure out girls? What are you, autistic?

Nah, by the time you are 22 and in the adult world, it's sink or swim.

Everything I have ever said from "Surround yourself with chicks," "Girls either like you for whatever reason or they don't. If you're her type, there's nothing you have to do. Just exist," and "It's the girls who chase guys," an 18 year old KID would be like "No fvcking sh1t sherlock. I just got some bomb head from Stacy last night. I didn't even have to do anything. Just exist in her social circle. Girls are everywhere. And they're all slvts. Tell me something I don't fvcking know.....EINSTIEN."

Where do you think I got all of my game knowledge from? From when I was 14 years old and surrounded by boy crazy girls.

What do you expect to learn as a 22+ year old out in the sexual market place? How to use Tinder? How to pick up chicks on OLD? How to do 100 approaches a week? LOL. If that worked, there wouldn't be countless guys complaining about the market and being disillusioned.

If there was a better way than the way things currently are, everyone would already be doing it.

Some of you guys just missed the cut off point of internalizing female behavior through osmosis (being surrounded by them every damn day of your life for almost a decade).

The guys who have it internalized don't see what the big deal is and the guys who don't act like they are from a different planet. It's probably too late for them.

If there is one thing the PUA community got right, it was their identification of the "natural". A guy who might be handsome or ugly as hell but was able to internalize females at an early age and is able to carry it on to old age.

I'd argue that there's still hope but the man has to take it upon himself at 22+. There's no structure provided for him anymore so he must provide it for himself. Under 22 you are constantly forced into meeting women daily or multiple times a week for months before a swap to other women for months, over and over again. In the real world it's still possible to become a natural but the man has to mesh some coed activies into his life and stick with them all by himself. No punishment for dropping out, no bad grades, so he has to discipline himself.

If it's yoga then go to allll the classes. The hot yoga, the hard yoga, the hot hard yoga, get fuggin good. Get certified and teach those damn classes,
'chelsea you need to point your ass out more, talk to me after class'.

If it's volleyball then work on a beach bod and get that team spirit going by gettin their blood flowin. Build comradarie, laugh with all the toned firm butt girls, the girls with the thighs that look like sexy deadly weapons. Slap their asses after getting a point(for the love of the game of course).

If it's any type of dance class then get, fuggin, gewd. Twirl those women around until they're smiling ear to ear, panting for breath, sweating trying to keep up with you and fighting over who gets to dance with you next. I've gone to dance classes where all the good dancer dudes are old wrinkly farts, but man some of those guys could make panties drop like a mofo when they danced. The young girls would all giggle and talk about it amongst themselves like he just fvcked their brains out. And he'd be chill cuz he knew he was hot sheet. He'd just start twirling the next in line like a god damn roller coaster for those women. Talk about natural game. Talk about inspiring the next generation of dudes just watching him with jaws on the floor.

I'm telling you, you wanna be around healthy hot women all the time, pick up dance. Those classes give you such good odds because the ratio is like 8 girls to every 2 guys. And then throw in some skill when you get better and you can literally and emotionally sweep women off their feet right to your place. You can get creative and picky. You want those sexy curvy latinos? Take salsa. You want those twerk girls? Take hip hop. You want a petite girl? Take swing.

My point is so many guys do nothing then come on here and beetch like it's the world's fault.
*Cough* @Trump *cough*
I can't decide if that's worse than someone that's sitting at home resigned in life, getting fat, and jerkin their pecker as their gut slowly gets bigger until they can't see it anymore. At least that guys not continually complaining on forums and owns his pathetic existence.

the world will give you whatever the hell you want, you just have to go get it. You're not a child anymore, no one is going to take away your Xbox if you skip a class. You're paying for it. You have to take your as$ out somewhere and do something. And keep doing it until you're enjoying the hell out of it and are good at it. Hell that's how you find LTR material, cuz that's where you're gonna meet a girl thats working on herself too, not out drinking somewhere trying to drown her problems.

you got me all fired up now @stormrider

 

[BeExcellent]

Agree and then some on the dancing gentlemen. Country western, Latin, Swing, Hip hop, House. You learn to dance well?

You’ll be overrun by women. Absolutely.

 

[Trump]

There is no way a clueless 22 year old can come to a website and learn how to attract, seduce, and make women fall in love with him.

If there was a way, it would already have been stickied by now for all the newbies and you wouldn't see countless threads asking about game.

OK I should rephrase.

For a young guy who is confused and doesn’t know the best way to attract women, and is looking for assistance on the internet, similar to guys wanting to get rich or guys wanting to know how to build a fence or guys wanting to learn how to cook who look for assistance on the internet.

Use your brain trump. You're a smart guy. Why would you ever be stupid enough to believe that the secret to women could be found on the internet?

For sure it can help him.

If a guy doesn’t know how to dress, he can learn on the internet
If a guy doesn’t know how to cook, he can learn on the internet
If a guy doesn’t know Chinese, he can learn on the internet
If a guy doesn’t know how to attract and seduce women, he can learn on the internet.

The age of internalization is 14-22. That's the time you were supposed to figure out chicks. You are surrounded by chicks left and right 24/7. After 22, if you haven't figure it out, you are sh1t out of luck and weeded out of existence. There is something wrong with your brain/genetics and nature has no sympathy.

OK fair enough. I could say the same thing about making money.

You're telling me you got 8 fvcking years of being surrounded by crazy hormonal teeny bopper girls and you still need a damn website to figure out girls? What are you, autistic?

I wasn’t surrounded by hormonal teeny bopper girls. Even if you are surrounded by hormonal teeny bopper girls, who said you can figure them out?

I’ve dealt with multi millionaires every day for the last 15 years in deal makings, I still haven’t figured them out.

Nah, by the time you are 22 and in the adult world, it's sink or swim.

The same thing applies to making money.

Everything I have ever said from "Surround yourself with chicks," "Girls either like you for whatever reason or they don't. If you're her type, there's nothing you have to do. Just exist," and "It's the girls who chase guys," an 18 year old KID would be like "No fvcking sh1t sherlock. I just got some bomb head from Stacy last night. I didn't even have to do anything. Just exist in her social circle. Girls are everywhere. And they're all slvts. Tell me something I don't fvcking know.....EINSTIEN."

Just exist in a social circle and the girl will f your brains out.

OK fair enough.

Just exist with the rich people and you will be a billionaire.

Where do you think I got all of my game knowledge from? From when I was 14 years old and surrounded by boy crazy girls.

I don’t know bro. From your words you absolutely have a gift and/or are genetically blessed.

I know some rich people, they cannot sleep with girls as fast as you can.

Some of you guys just missed the cut off point of internalizing female behavior through osmosis (being surrounded by them every damn day of your life for almost a decade).

The guys who have it internalized don't see what the big deal is and the guys who don't act like they are from a different planet. It's probably too late for them.

Same thing can be said about making money.

If there is one thing the PUA community got right, it was their identification of the "natural". A guy who might be handsome or ugly as hell but was able to internalize females at an early age and is able to carry it on to old age.

Same thing can be said about making money.

To be in your social circle and have the women sleep with you as fast as they do, you have a gift and are genetically blessed. It has nothing to do with “internalizing their behaviour”. It’s about genetics, it’s about luck.

I would say most guys here have the same amount of game and roughly know the same amount of women, yet they are still coming here confused.

But what can you do.

 

[BeExcellent]

It’s about vibe. The kind of vibe a man puts off is everything.

Difficulty is vibe is not the easiest thing to teach. You can’t learn it off the internet from a How To video.

Nor can you learn class or sophistication from a step by step method.

You have to weave it into who you are. It takes time. It takes exposure to a conducive environment.

If Trump is working with multimillionaires constantly he will have by now picked up on social cues and the non verbal subcommunication expressed through fashion, grooming, personal presentation etc. that expresses wealth and success. If he hasn’t learned those cues he is socially inept for he has had enough time & exposure to absorb the sub context. I expect he will also understand power dynamics because those also figure into deal making.

The skillset is not terribly different when in the dating marketplace. Application is a little different, jargon is a little different but there is still a power dynamic and an unspoken language conveyed by physical presentation (I am NOT talking about genetics here but grooming & style - things every man has 100% control over) that translates into value.

The men with swagger in the board room have swagger at the bar the majority of the time. And at tennis, and at lunch and so forth. They just have swagger. If you got swagger you have it everywhere. It’s your vibe.

I’ll address your responses to my original post in the morning. Time for beauty sleep, lol. Zzzzz

 

[zekko]

There is no way a clueless 22 year old can come to a website and learn how to attract, seduce, and make women fall in love with him.

I kind of agree with you, but it depends on what the guy's issues are, what it is that's holding him back. If a guy has been around women to any real extent at all, you would think that experience would teach him most of the more important mistakes to avoid. But somehow these things can elude some guys.

A lot of guys have come on here and said things like "Wow, I'm so glad I came here, this place has completely changed my life". So obviously it happens. I can't say I completely understand it, but it happens. Like I said, it probably depends on what the guy's starting point is. If he just needs a few tweaks or just needs to be warned about a few things, he might be successful. If he's a complete social mess who can't talk to people in the first place, it's going to take a lot longer. I wouldn't say he's hopeless. He may never become a total stud type guy, but he can certainly improve. I don't think I really hit my stride until my late 20s.

 

[Augustus_McCrae]

Agree and then some on the dancing gentlemen. Country western, Latin, Swing, Hip hop, House. You learn to dance well?

You’ll be overrun by women. Absolutely.

Agree with this 110%.

-Augustus-

 

[ubercat]

I largely agree with BE. However to some extent in terms of content and uses this is a red pill site.

a lot of guys just don't understand female psychology and dating tactics at all and that's why they become bitter and disillusioned.

As the French say Vive la diffrance.

I think one of the reasons men have difficulty assimilating this knowledge is inbuilt arrogance. all men seem to think that they have woman sorted out even when they are Clueless.

I'm in a new city and I was talking to a guy at the pub and it was the same old story. he just split up with his partner and she was trying to take him to the cleaners and he said he couldn't care less about woman because it was always the same old sh1t. So I gently tried to share a few things with him framing in terms of mistakes I d made. simple practical things like agree and amplify or deflect and discuss it the next day. Just real basic relationship survival skills. Things that would make you both happier.

And indeed is was the same old sh1t. He had no interest in listening and wanted to give me his theories on women instead. And his thoughts were all problems no solutions. So men generally certainly do have our weaknesses and blind spots.

And obviously our female posters here although totally great do play down some of the less palatable facets of female nature.

So to me there s 4 basics

Understand female nature
Build your personal value and accomplishments
Build social skills
Learn a tiny bit of game the absolute basics

And people who don't understand number four and get bogged down in this whole pua controversy fall into two camps.

1. They are good-looking or naturals so they never needed training wheels.

2. They never did the work and they don't understand female nature. the point is game as such just helps coming across as a little bit different and non boring because women like variety. And also to understand what not to do. It's like chilli sauce better with but don't overdo it

Most guys totally skip number one and so every LTR ends up in another long painful drawn-out monkey branch they blame the woman and don't look at themselves and the vicious cycle repeats.

 

[redskinsfan92]

From time to time it's interesting to observe certain dogmas around here. Some members adopt a distinctively binary view of something or other and the community is not well served by these attitudes. The result of binary thinking is not only that it limits or narrows one's perspective, but more importantly that it may influence someone less experienced in such a way that at the end of the day is actually detrimental to those who adopt a narrow view based upon what they read or absorb here and then find it isn't so in the real world. This leads to disillusionment and disappointment. It can lead to anger and frustration when perhaps a wider lens might better inform the reader.

In recent days (and this is always true to some degree or another) there have been posters espousing ideals that are from my perspective like caricatures of reality. And caricatures are cartoon characters. They are not real.

Some of the attitudes I see around here are things like:

"Marriage is a horrible deal. Don't get married, you'll only get divorce raped..."

"Women are only good for sex and after 35 they aren't good for anything..."

"Women are going to have sex with the Chads and then will cvck a normal man to gain his resources"

"Older women should be thrown away. Only the women from 18-23 are worth anything..."

"Women are incapable of logic and are ruled by emotion..."

"LTRs and Marriage are for cvcks. You should be spinning plates forever..."

"Don't ask a fish how to go fishing..." This one is a favorite of mine. Who but the fish knows its environment best?

If you look at any of the above assertions (which I as a woman am well aware I may catch some heat for mentioning) they are all coming from a place of fear and lack. The reader of various posts around here must bear in mind that many men here have had genuinely awful experiences with some awful women and there are plenty of men around here who haven't had success in the relationship department ever. This creates a bias. A negative bias. I am pointing this out because there is a frustration that emerges when some men around here cry about how some short or fat or bald or ugly man ended up with a pretty woman and yet here he is, objectively more (fill in the blank) and he is not having success. "Why am I not successful!" some cry. I dunno. Perhaps a close examination of your attitudes should be considered.

Some posts are asking for basic nuts/bolts advice. How do I text? How much is too much? What do I say? That's cool but really the answer is get out there in a social environment and get some experience. Get rejected, fail. Fail some more.

I'd be willing to bet a substantial sum that top salesmen are not running around on here lamenting their woes with women. Those guys are too occupied getting laid or in good LTRs or marriages. By the same token I do not see the men here on the forum who are known to be in satisfactory LTRs or marriages jumping on the negative bandwagon to agree with the above attitudes...nor do I see (as a rule) the older more life experienced men jumping on that bandwagon. But some of the most frequent and vocal posters espouse these narrow views.

It's an observation. Be aware of your own individual goals in your personal life and your life at large. As some posters have stated there is plenty of gold to be mined here so long as you weed out the dogmatic self defeatist stuff.

I do think there is a great deal of value in understanding the generalities that can be observed in the marketplace. Plate spinning serves a useful purpose for example. Going by actions rather than expectations or words is a good practice. Avoiding unhealthy women is certainly good advice. Self-improvement as a focus benefits each of us individually and improves our experience and enjoyment within the world around us and the world at large. Lots of women are entitled or vacuous and so forth.

Learn to screen properly and efficiently the women you allow into your life. Know WHY you are allowing a woman an opportunity. And that is some of the debate I am referring to. Your attitudes are going to affect your ability to screen well. And how well you screen is going to affect your outcome, even though early on it is best that you are as outcome independent as possible...

In some ways the board here is a representative slice of the world at large when you factor in who as a percentage of the population, is more or less successful in any given arena. There are plenty of successful contributors here whose content is worthwhile. There are those who have transformed themselves along the way and benefited from the information and wisdom that exists here. And there are those who beat their chests and spout dogma which may or may not really be of service in the long run. What I enjoy about the group here is the variety of viewpoints. Determine your own individual aim and then seek out guidance on how to get where you want to go. Whether that is getting laid tonight or getting married and being a father one day, or whether it's enjoying a companion you can hang out with once you are over the hill, because at some point we are ALL going to be over the hill.

Obviously I am not a man and have never and will never be one. But I had a great man for a father who did not pamper nor spoil me, and I have a responsible man for a son (for I do not pamper nor spoil him), and I have had the pleasure of knowing many great men over my lifetime, in personal relationships and in family and among friends and colleagues. I have also known men who haven't manifested themselves as they could have. So I've seen a few things over the years.

Beware of the jaded. Be careful what attitudes you allow to populate your mind. Be sure it serves your greater purpose in your personal life and your life at large.

You are invited to discuss.

"Don't ask a fish how to go fishing..." Women always give horrible dating advice. I'm not making that statement out of "fear or lack". That's real world reality. No caricature.

Here is a better statement. Don't ask a woman how to be a man!

 

[redskinsfan92]

I can go into detail and address all points, but basically what we have here is a woman yelling to get back on the plantation.

No, I do not agree with every statement, but this all is just a woman whining about negative statements made about women. One fact remains though. MARRIAGE IS A HORRIBLE IDEA FOR MEN

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I can go into detail and address all points, but basically what we have here is a woman yelling to get back on the plantation.

No, I do not agree with every statement, but this all is just a woman whining about negative statements made about women. One fact remains though. MARRIAGE IS A HORRIBLE IDEA FOR MEN

Name some positives?

 

[redskinsfan92]

Name some positives?

Positives of what?