Beware of pulling "friends" out of their AFC ways!

[djbr]

There is this guy, he is (was?) an OLD friend of mine. He was always an AFC.

He has a three-year oneitis and the girl keep stringing him along to get some affirmation, yet give him little-to-none play (as in just kissing him when no one is watching, and never going past that). I tried to talk with him about it, but he always got angry over me, so I stopped.

One day I was talking with him about one of the girls I was gaming, which he knows, and is a friend of his one-itis. So I tell him what happened and make the mistake of saying what I really think about the issue (aka REAL intent, not ******** that the girl SAID). Oddly enough, it applies to his situation. As I was talking about myself, he listened. He made the connection, and asked me if I thought it applied to his situation, and I promptly answered yes.

Good! He saw the trees from the forest! Right?

No. The guy is now angry at ME and I have good reason to guess he told the girl I was gaming everything I told him.

No problem about the girl, it was done deal anyway and I was just telling him why I bailed. The real issue here is the guy, who I had a long friendship, turning his back onto me just because he can't get rid of his oneitis and would rather challenge me than his cloudy view of the whole thing.

My advice is simple: do NOT help your AFC friends. Sometimes they will prefer to screw YOU than to see that maybe, just maybe, what they're doing is quite not working...

Keep it to yourself and just talk about game to the ones who ASK you about it! I have another friend who I talk a lot about this kind of stuff, but he was the one who come to me asking for it.

Do not feed game to the unprepared. It may backfire!

 

[Monster]

Well said. Others will see only if it is meant to be.

 

[ExploringOne]

It is unfortunate, in this day and age, of debunked myths, and empirical science that people still refuse to accept facts over fiction.

This reminds me of a friend from highschool, I used to debate with him once in a while. Though I stopped. Reason being, usually his final response came out something like this:

"I'm RIGHT because I'm RIGHT."

Sometimes the ignorant prefer to be left that way...

 

[djbr]

It is unfortunate, in this day and age, of debunked myths, and empirical science that people still refuse to accept facts over fiction.

Yes. Guess their ego gets so invested in it, they prefer to destroy anything but their beliefs. They feel as if they're not feeling true to themselves by doing that.

This friend (?) of mine did exactly this. He is not talking to me anymore. And all I did was talk to him about my situation and, when asked if what I was saying applied to his, I said yes.

He prefers the AFC illusion of love and flowers with his oneitis than see stuff for what it really is. And also, his prefer all this to our friendship. I should add that he did this on his own, cause I never treated him different because of his oneitis/AFCness -- he rejects me because he can't (or don't want to) reject her.

Weird stuff.

This reminds me of a friend from highschool, I used to debate with him once in a while. Though I stopped. Reason being, usually his final response came out something like this:

"I'm RIGHT because I'm RIGHT."

Sometimes the ignorant prefer to be left that way...

Yes. It's like a quote from someone on this forum. You do not argue with stupid people cause they bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. :crackup:

I like to think it's GREAT to be wrong, cause this way I can learn. Being always right sucks, I can't learn anything new, thus I get stuck.

When I talk game with my rAFC friends, and the ones who are not recovering anymore (my brother is more of an DJ than I am), I always hear what they say and hope they prove me wrong. Sadly the DJ philosophy is spot on (maybe), so no one could argue with it's facts (yet?), but I am always discussing and looking around for anything that resembles the truth, in theory and, most important, in real life.

To this point, my brother is still the greatest example around to any of my friends about the DJ way. He gets tail like madness. And he is a little bit fat and has a lot of personal problems. Still, he is like a magnet. It's awesome!

About people who don't want to listen? Best thing we can do is shut the fvck up and only talk about game with people who deserves it. This applies to most knowledge, in fact.

 

[banGbro]

Agreed. This is my 2nd rule: no good deed goes unpunished.


Your AFC friend thought if he tells what you told him that will buy him affection. Now, I have AFC friends, its unavoidable, but if a b1tch done something like that

Id fvck his girl, and maybe both their mothers if they good looking. :kick:

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I'm still wondering why some guys find it necessary to be Captain Save a Bro'. Not every guy is meant to understand DJism. Stop wasting energy tying your nuts in a knot trying to convert the naive.

 

[djbr]

Your AFC friend thought if he tells what you told him that will buy him affection. Now, I have AFC friends, its unavoidable, but if a b1tch done something like that

Let me remark that I was gaming a girl who is a friend of his oneitis. I guess he used the whole situation to put himself as "not like other guys". Used me as an example of azzh0le or something stupid like this, and tried to portray himself as out of the mold. *shakes head*

I posted this to warn guys who are new to this stuff, and have friends who are deep in AFCness. Keep yourself alone in your pursuit. Everyone around you will NOT understand your new DJish ways and worse, they will try to fvck it up. It serves as ego preservation for them.

I'm still wondering why some guys find it necessary to be Captain Save a Bro'.

I don't like my bros making a fool out of themselves. It's like a gang thing, LOL. This guy is an old friend, and he helped me so many times.

But what amazed me is that he didn't care... a woman came and he suddenly forgot it all! AFCs... duh. I know better dammit!

Not every guy is meant to understand DJism. Stop wasting energy tying your nuts in a knot trying to convert the naive.

You're right. But what shocked me is that I was talking about my situation and just flipped the coin on him when HE asked.

He wanted to know what I thought, but after I told him, and it all made serious sense, he thought it was better to get rid of ME (and my advice) than to get rid of his oneitis. And used it all to gloss himself as Mr. Correct.

 

[DJDamage]

I'm still wondering why some guys find it necessary to be Captain Save a Bro'. Not every guy is meant to understand DJism. Stop wasting energy tying your nuts in a knot trying to convert the naive.

They can only save themselevs. Most guys live in their own reality's and introducing them to some cold hard facts about their situation is like a slap to the face and they can't handle that. You can't persue someone to look at the world in a different angle if they don't ask your help.

I remember when I had oneitis with this chick and at the time I didn't find sosuave but I was reading Doc love's articles. At the time I was thinking that Doc Love was a bitter old man who looks at everything negatively (his articles revolved around building confidence and not wasting your time with low interest women). After the chick who played with me, dumped me for another guy I went back to his articles re-read them and realised that the guy was spot on. Perceptions often changes after reality changes as well.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...He wanted to know what I thought, but after I told him, and it all made serious sense, he thought it was better to get rid of ME (and my advice) than to get rid of his oneitis. And used it all to gloss himself as Mr. Correct.

Actually, he had already made up his mind about what he was going to do. He just wanted to know if you agreed with him. Big difference from someone looking for advice.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

They can only save themselevs. Most guys live in their own reality's and introducing them to some cold hard facts about their situation is like a slap to the face and they can't handle that. You can't persue someone to look at the world in a different angle if they don't ask your help.

Very true. Nothing will change without them wanting to change their actions. The problem is that so many guys want the outcome to change without changing their actions.

I remember when I had oneitis with this chick and at the time I didn't find sosuave but I was reading Doc love's articles. At the time I was thinking that Doc Love was a bitter old man who looks at everything negatively (his articles revolved around building confidence and not wasting your time with low interest women). After the chick who played with me, dumped me for another guy I went back to his articles re-read them and realised that the guy was spot on. Perceptions often changes after reality changes as well.

I've been an advocate of Doc Love's System for years. The guy knows about identifying quality women and managing relationships with them.

 

[djbr]

Actually, he had already made up his mind about what he was going to do. He just wanted to know if you agreed with him. Big difference from someone looking for advice.

I guess he was making sure I do NOT agree with him, as I was talking about my situation and he only asked if I thought what I was saying about my situation applied to his own.

But this only confirms what you're saying.

 

[Quiksilver]

You know what they say...


"There's no point in ringing the doorbell if nobody's home."

We can speed up the learning process, but we can't change their mind.



DJism is one of those things that people must open up to on their own. You can't argue with somebody who thinks they're right and haven't been proven wrong yet.

All we can do is wait until one of our bro's comes to us asking "I need help with girls" or "can you teach me how you get girls?"

I remember when I began to change, several months ago, one of my friends started talking to me idly one time and out of nowhere handed me a book "48 Laws of Power" and told me that out of our whole group, I was the only one who he thought was willing to change. Little did he know, I knew more about game and getting chicks than he did by then

He did it right. He saw me as a person who had come to grips with myself and knew where I went wrong, and was starting to change my ways. So he helped me out and got me reading some Robert Greene. That is how it should be done.

Now I give him advice on girls. He's pretty good game and can usually get some in a social scene, but still has trouble with natural game and attraction. He relies on routines and ****y/funny, and doesn't really know how to calibrate his game for the girl he's after. He's one of those guys who just "mashes the proverbial keypad" until the candy pops out.

We frequently help eachother out, and I learn alot from him, as he does from me.

So...Wait for your bro's to realize the problems on their own and come to grips with themselves. When they truely open the door, then you can walk in and help.

 

[DrBeard]

Its like all the AFC ponces who hate me cos Im a player and they are too scared to follow my advice.

I say if those losers are too lazy + scared they deserve to be kicked in the bollocks! If u get angry at me for being an alpha male I'll knock yo fockin balls into yo nose biatches!!!!!

 

[ValleyDJing]

Yeah...if you try and give someone advice, they almost always want you to prove it, i.e., they wanna watch from a distance as you sarge. I don't like that s.hit because a) to me, approaching has to be natural. You can't approach and game to prove something. And b) they'll expect it to work on anybody and everybody, everytime. And when the occasions it doesn't work, they just laugh at you and what not. Its like ok *******s, why don't you at least make eye contact with a girl, then you can come back and talk s.hit how I got shot down.