Beta Provider

[FairShake]

Chicks NEVER dig guys who spend money on them!

I think SoSuave's definition of Alpha is who THEY want to fvck, not who women want to fvck. Spending money and "providing gifts" are both FAR more likely to get you pvssy than alphally being distant.

 

[backbreaker]

ee

Chicks NEVER dig guys who spend money on them!

I think SoSuave's definition of Alpha is who THEY want to fvck, not who women want to fvck. Spending money and "providing gifts" are both FAR more likely to get you pvssy than alphally being distant.

even that is not black and white. trust me i have spent boat loads of money when i was younger and didn't get so much as kisses from some women.

guru1000 is on the right track it's not the actions but the motivations behind the actions.

I when I did go on dates, after i found this site of course, and had some success in my business, I would go on dates, and i had no qualms on spending money. Not over the top or antyhing but i fi wanted to go somewhere or do something I did it. I took a girl to the breeders cup for like a 2nd or 3rd date once, total cost was a little bit over 500 when it was all said and done. B ut here is my thing... i was going, regardless if she was going or not. I am doing nothing but incorprating her into mjy world and see how she handles it/ reacts. I don't see anythingt beta about that at all. In my opinin it would be much more beta for me to take my ass down to starbucks and spend 3 dollars on a cup of coffee. one i don't drink cofee at all, second, I don't go to starbucks unless i'm working. I don't just sit in starbucks like a fool when I am by myself why do it when you are on a date? to me that makes no sense. I am engaged, I didn't settle, didn't fall for the first girl to show me some attention. I settled down becuase she is the type of woman I can settle down with and feel comfortable doing so. IF she wasn't,l I wouldn't have. Agaion, lto me it's more "beta" to have 3 girls that you like and tha tlike you and one tyou realy relaly really really like, buyt becuase of some pre set "rules" you decide that you can't be with her or that you have to live up to this DJ persona that spins plates his entire life. nothing wrong with plate spining don't twist my wrods. There is something wrong with it, when one of them stands out big time, and you want to give her a chance but feel that you "can't" beucase that would be "'afcish'

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Here, the misconception is in believing that actions define the label, Alpha or Beta. The action(s) itself do/does not define the label, but rather the motivations which prompt the action(s).

For example, if you buy your wife a $50,000 updated rock, are you Beta by default?

Agreed. Kobe Bryant buys his wife a $2M ring after his marital "indiscretions", Alpha or beta move?

I've always held that Alpha is a mindset, not a demographic. I understand that a lot of guys are averse to using community terminology because it tends to get convoluted by individual interpretation. I think the idea of Alpha is too ambiguous for some, and others would rather cater the definition of Alpha to fit their personal conditions (i.e. beta supplication is really Alpha because the AFC is dedicated playing by the rules he believes make him chivalric, et. al.) Likewise, Beta is a mindset, not a demographic, as well. I know several guys who are very well off, have looks and determination, but they're pitiable because their beta influence makes them subject to all sorts of manipulations. Conversely I know plenty of Alpha guys with zero prospects, who'd be condemned as losers in most contexts - yet still manage to pump and dump the hottest of HBs.

A provisioning is an act. It is not inherently Alpha or beta, but it is colored by whatever mindset that provider brings to it. As I stated before 'Beta Provider' is the most common term because this is classically what women approaching the Wall of their SMV will settle for when their potential to attract the Alpha declines. This is why being a Beta Provider is derided; it's implied that being a provider with a beta mindset predisposes a guy to manipulations and an LTR based on that provisioning, not any real Alpha attraction. And once again this returns us to the Desire Dynamic: is your woman with you because she genuinely desires your inspired Alpha confidence, or is she ƒucking you inspite of your beta-ness because that's the price of your provisioning?

Beta Provider is a warning. You don't hear about Alpha providers because there's really nothing to warn against if that's what you're bringing to your providership.

 

[Solomon]

I hate the use of these sterotypical terms we throw around here.. alpha male, beta provider, jerk, bad boy, chump.

things are hardly ever that black and white. I provide for my family i'll be damned if i am a beta anything. you think of bad boy you think of some dude with slick back hair coming to pick his date up on a Suzuki booster or some ****. You think alpha male you think of some guy who just walks around with underwear and his **** in his hand just popping people upside the head with it for no reason, just because he's that freaking alpha.

It's not realistic.

people have a little alpha in them, people have a litlte beta than them. I'd admit, I probably spend more money than I should, like on dates and **** like that. it doesn't matter to me but still, no one is perfect. HOwever the trick is, to have more alpha in you then beta., that's a LONG way from when I came here and I was BETA about every possible aspect when it came to women.

something else i want to rant on while I am here.

It's like... just beucase the guy didn't get laid when he was younger, didn't mean he settled down for the first girl that threw ***** his way and he's a "chump". I think that's lazyman's handicapping. A guy spends his life getting his **** together that automaticlaly makes him a chump? I'm not saying there aren't any chumps out there, i know a few. But not every guy who settles with a woman is a chump.

perfect example, my oneitis. I had always assumed that her husband was a chump. And make no mistake, he is.she's going to send him to the poor house, quickly. But when we went down to little rock and her, her husband, me d my fiancee went out to dinner... which i have n problem doing to day, there just isn't anything there anymore... you can tell she defiantly wasn't running ****. I actually had some respect for the guy after that. While he is overprotective of her, very much so, he runs the house. she cooks, he pays the bills, etc.

The whole alpha thing is played out to the death on forums and blogs. It reminds me of rappers who keep saying their "gangster" in every song, so eventually people believe them but then you hear about them getting robbed, or some groupie exposing them. The guys who I know are real alphas don't even use that word, it comes of try hard to me when I read guys say "I'm alpha" real alpha's don't have to say they are alpha, or their bad boys their actions and rep speak for themselves. Guys who are real alpha honestly don't give a shyt about what anybody else think, their so confident it borderlines a god complex at times. But that's the same confidence/arrogance that women love in these guys and with their actions their able to back it up. Look at a Ari Gold or Don Draper type, these guys are alphas but so frigging money its ridiculous

I seriously don't see guys as Mystery/Style/Tyler Durden alpha yet they teach this stuff about being a mans man, and paint they nails, dress and talk funny etc. hence I take guru's with a grain of salt. I rather be a Don Draper type or hell even a Dexter is more alpha lol

Real alphas don't worry about being alpha, if you still have to think about "is this alpha or not" then your not naturally alpha. When you pass the line where things come natural based of instinct you don't have to worry about "being alpha or not" its natural

1

 

[old married dude]

I think the amount of success with women, or lack thereof is a big factor when it comes to alpha vs. beta provider-ship.

It seems that in most cases the betas who don't possess the looks, attitude, or game look for some other way they can get women. If they don't have alpha traits, they will work on one thing that's usually a slam dunk when it comes to finding a marriage partner...money. An example of this would be the type of guy who has been a real computer nerd all of his life, but uses the skills he has and starts an internet/tech business, like Groupon. A guy like this who makes $10,000,000 by the time they are 30 are going to all of a sudden look very "attractive" to many women and they know this.

On the other hand, I notice quite a few alphas tend to think that all they need are their stunning good looks, nice physique, and tight game. This is great in the short term (just getting laid), but not quite enough to keep a girl long-term. I know a guy exactly like this who rarely works and is broke just about all the time, but has all the attributes I mentioned earlier, plus he is 6 foot 5 inches tall. He pulls tons of tail, but hasn't had a LTR in many years even though he is wanting that now at the age of 31. If he had the education and financial resources, he'd be set.

Same sort of things happen with girls. A HB 9.5 knows that just about every guy out there wants to ****/date her because of the fact she looks like a model. I've only been with very few HB 9+'s, but for the most part they were about as fun as talking to a tree, and really not all that great in bed either. A girl who's a 4, 5, or 6 will definitely have to possess an awesome personality, great sense of humor, or like a beta male, become a sugar momma perhaps to land really attractive guys. They also know they gotta have the skillz to be hot in the sack to keep a guy coming back for more. A lot of these average girls I ****ed were total freaks that could suck d1ck like a true pro.

Can any of you guys relate to this?

 

[Solomon]

Old Married dude I agree

One of my buddies looks like Jason Stateham, considered very handsome, but he is sleeping on the floor in my living room and has pulled close to 10 chicks in the few months he has stayed with me.

The guy right now life's a mess but it hasn't stopped him from getting tail tons of tail. Some of these chicks know look wise hes above them. One girl use to bring wine/food etc cause she knew it would appease him!(48 laws of power shyt). His predicament though is any quality women may let him hit it once or go on a date but they don't view him a LTR material based of the fact of his financial situation, and that he is sleeping on a mattress in the living room at 35 years old

 

[backbreaker]

I don't think alpha or beta really has **** to do with women personally. A dude that is "alpha" but is working at arby's (sounds good right about now) in the day time with no real ambition to do anything different, i don't see as alpha. not saying he should be a millionaire or anything but, you get the point.

women, are a byproduct of a man's alphaness. They are not the definition of it. The more into this I get I put very little time into game or anything, I p9uut it into bettering myself and personal development,k becoming the person I want to be, the person I dream about being when I go to sleep. The closer to that person you come, the more confidence you have, the more confidence you have, the women are a forgone conclusion.

"Do not confuse what I just said with being rich -getting laid. Whatever that person you want to be. Regardless of who it is If it's a guy who is jacked up and is a bodybuilder, the closer you are to that dude, the more alpha you are going to come off. IF it's the guy who runs the Starbucks down the street (**** they make money, you'd be surprised how much they make to run those ****ing shops), the closer you are to that the more you work towards that the more confident you are going to be.

As pook said, I don't see not being alpha with not women because that would mean, being beta would mean not getting laid. There is nothing beta about not getting laid. it's just *****. there is no going out of business sale on it. Not like they are closing the ***** warehouse or anything anytime soon.

 

[Colossus]

The reason why I dont particularly care for the Alpha-Beta designations is that it becomes a game of semantics that is contorted to suit the individual. As much as I like definitions that are objective, standardized, and provable--- subjectivity is inherent in any discussion of social dynamics.

I agree with Guru that being an Alpha or Beta is not so much a product of what you do, but the motivation(s) you are acting upon. Also the delivery is important.

For example, say 2 guys get their girlfriend flowers. One gets her flowers for fear of losing her affections, the other as a nice gesture, but with some teasing. Maybe he leaves a note that says "i got these to mask the smell of your feet. Later smelly."

Same act, different frames. One is fear, the other is play.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Even royalty can’t compensate for cringing betaness.

That pretty much puts the period at the end of this topic.

 

[Burroughs]

Pride comes very easy to guys who consistently provide, but self-pride is necessary in the face of a lack of appreciation. Your wife, your children, any family members you may support, even your ƒucking dog, can NEVER appreciate the sacrifice, determination and doubt you endure and overcome in order to accommodate them - all in the shadow of knowing that if you cannot provide for them your relationship with them will fundamentally change. You want to be an Alpha provider? Accept that truth.

1000% correct.

So then comes the oft asked question...why get married at all given the LACK OF APPRECIATION.

I don't mind risks, I take them everyday, in business in recreation; but lack of appreciation I cannot stomach, from friends or business partners...If I don't have love for you and you don't have love for me lets call it a day.

 

[Boilermaker]

Marriage is for raising children.

I was raised by parents who put up with each other for 30 years before getting divorced for the sake of their children.

They have sacrificed their happiness to make me a product of a functional family.

I don't have ten step-siblings from 4 different people. Nearly everyone I get to know these days cannot even name their immediate family members because of this marriage-divorce-remarriage mess.

 

[Knight's Cross]

Alpha= Leader of the household. Beta= supplicating wife directed chump. That's the difference. There's nothing wrong with being a provider, as long as you are the leader. My dad is my model at this. He was the breadwinner. Sure my mom worked, but she wasn't a careerist. That's why this country is on a fast track to heck and a handbasket. I saw a report on Fox yesterday that said for the first time in the US, women are leading men at advanced degrees. That is going to make this situation worse. Feminism is wrecking millions of years of model that worked. Women are nurturers by genetic code. Now feminism wants to throw that out. They want it all, and by gosh no politician is going to say no, so the laws/ programs/ funding all sway in their favor. Case in point, my older brother has a daughter 22, that just had a child out of wedlock. You should see the ridiculous grants, sponsorship, free car, etc. she gets for signing up at the local college. The system actually rewards a single mommy. Until that changes, we will see this beta/ alpha debate. Me, I'm done with it, I will deny my seed to a careerist. They aren't even worth a catch and release in my eyes. If you choose to do so, do at your own peril. Deny the careerist male companionship and they'll think twice about what they tell the younger women. Of course that'll never happen, they'll just label all men as "afraid" of a modern woman. Never realizing that their choices were "theirs". Let em grow old with cat's I say.
KC

 

[zekko]

Alpha= Leader of the household. Beta= supplicating wife directed chump

I don't think being leader of your household means you're alpha. ANY man SHOULD be able to dominate his wife, that's the natural role.

My dad is my model at this. He was the breadwinner. Sure my mom worked, but she wasn't a careerist. That's why this country is on a fast track to heck and a handbasket.

Obviously this is a big factor in why the divorce rate is so high.

saw a report on Fox yesterday that said for the first time in the US, women are leading men at advanced degrees

This is a failure of men. You can't make it illegal for girls to go to college.

You should see the ridiculous grants, sponsorship, free car, etc. she gets for signing up at the local college. The system actually rewards a single mommy.

You're right, and that's probably one reason more women are ending up with degrees. The law rewards women for divorcing their husbands, and when you throw a child in there then she's got a real meal ticket. She can make a living at this and get her degree while the man has to go to work to support himself.

 

[Knight's Cross]

Zekko,
A Beta follows, a Alpha leads. How is that not being the head of the household? I do agree with you, young men not pursuing advanced degrees/ careers is a failure of men. It's a failure that we've allowed legislation to support single mommies, and not pushed for more "positive" role models for young men. We have a country of young men raised by women. That's a recipe for disaster. I think women should pursue education if they wish, however they've mostly been sold a false bill of goods. Many put off marriage/family until they get the following: bachelors, masters, good job, 8-10 years building their career. By then they are 35-40 years old and so set in their ways you are kidding yourself if you think that "most" of them want a partner. Most at that stage want a guy that compliments them like a handbag or pair of shoes. Seen this story repeated several times.
KC

 

[DJDamage]

You might be a beta provider if....

1) You marry a single mommy.

2) Your wife wears the pants in the relationship.

3) You have to ask for permission to do something.

4) You don't get enough sex.

5) Your wife is in charge of all financial decisions in the house.

6) Your wife gains lots of weight after you got married.

7) You do the majority of the cooking/cleaning and taking care of kids.

8) Your wife nags you to death and starts fights until you cave.

9) Your wife doesn't even try to look good for you anymore.

10) Whatever you do or don't do you will make your wife upset.

 

[backbreaker]

earlier this year i went to starbucks, random day everyonce in a while I get the taste for an iced carmel machiaatio. damn good stuff. anyway, some dude, could not have been over his early 20's, who was behind me in line looks at me and says men don't drink girly drinks you need to drink coffee. I just shook my head and smiled.

this is just taking it too far. damnit I liked the Carmel ****. drinking coffee does ont make you a man, no more than not drinking coffee not make you a man. t

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

A Beta follows, a Alpha leads. How is that not being the head of the household?

Once again, from the top, Alpha ≠ Chivalrous.

There are noble Alphas and there are scoundrel Alphas, the difference is all in how they apply themselves. There's a tendency to approach every "Alpha" argument from what a guy thinks is righteousness; ergo his definition of Alpha is what appeals best to his sense of virtue. However, the sad truth is that prisons are full of Alpha males who simply channeled their drive toward destructive and anti-social endeavors. There are plenty of examples of indifferent A-hole Alphas who you wouldn't say are leaders at all, yet women will literally kill each other (or themselves) in order to bang them because they exude a natural Alphaness.

Corey Worthington is a piss poor example of a human being, but he's a textbook example of Alpha. I could use a lot of adjectives to describe this kid, but "beta" wouldn't be one of them. What's funny, and a bit ironic, is this kid's probably never come across Mystery Method or "the community" or even heard of 'peacocking' and he gets naturally what millions of guys pay small fortunes at PUA seminars to acquire over the course of a lifetime. He's a selfish little prick, but what makes him insulting to 'normal' men is his having the natural bravado so many AFCs wish they had.

There are Alpha drug dealing gang leaders, and there are Alpha husbands, fathers and leaders of industry. It's all in the application.

 

[guru1000]

There are Alpha drug dealing gang leaders, and there are Alpha husbands, fathers and leaders of industry. It's all in the application.

Not using the word "Alpha," what is the common denominator among these men?

 

[zekko]

A Beta follows, a Alpha leads. How is that not being the head of the household?

Here's my point:
We're talking about Alpha Males and Beta Males here. Alphas are leaders of MEN, not women. Flash back 100 years, before all this feminism business took root. A man was the head of the household. That was the natural way of things. Any man should be head of his household. It is no trick for men to dominate women - women are made to be submissive and to be the weaker vessel. That should be a given, even for a Beta male.
That's why I say being head of a household is not proof of being an alpha male.

All this pickup stuff about being dominant with women is good stuff, but that's not the same thing as being alpha. That's just male/female. PUAs try to emulate alpha characteristics, but that doesn't necessarily make them alpha. To be alpha, you have to be the top male, at least in some way.
That could be the toughest guy in the bar, it could be the teacher in the classroom, could be the quarterback of the football team.

 

[Warrior74]

Here's my point:
We're talking about Alpha Males and Beta Males here. Alphas are leaders of MEN, not women. Flash back 100 years, before all this feminism business took root. A man was the head of the household. That was the natural way of things. Any man should be head of his household. It is no trick for men to dominate women - women are made to be submissive and to be the weaker vessel. That should be a given, even for a Beta male.
That's why I say being head of a household is not proof of being an alpha male.

All this pickup stuff about being dominant with women is good stuff, but that's not the same thing as being alpha. That's just male/female. PUAs try to emulate alpha characteristics, but that doesn't necessarily make them alpha. To be alpha, you have to be the top male, at least in some way.
That could be the toughest guy in the bar, it could be the teacher in the classroom, could be the quarterback of the football team.

This. Someone once wrote, Alpha is a position, not a person. The leader of a group a group of men is the Alpha. Get any group of men together and you'll see it. The same applies to Beta. It's just the guys who aren't the in the Alpha position. Change Alpha and Beta to leader and followers and it's clear.

The PUA definition of Alpha goes somewhere else entirely. More into character and skill than actual position holding. The PUA definition goes more to Real man and Chump. Which is why you can have men in power in the alpha spot and getting alpha perks (or not) but they still act like chumps. They occupy the top spot and they get all that comes with it.

The ideal is to be both A positional alpha and a pua alpha. A man at the top, who has game and is strong and knows how to use his power. Most people are never going to be that. But they can easily just not be a chump.